


Screaming in the Night

by bentnotbroken1



Series: SitN Universe [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Explicit Language, First Time Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, More like S2 Mind Flayer, Multi, No goop monster, Not S3 Mind Flayer, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rating May Change, Redemption, Slow Burn, flayed!billy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2020-06-29 02:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 37
Words: 100,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19820266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bentnotbroken1/pseuds/bentnotbroken1
Summary: Everything Billy touches, breaks.Things go differently during the fight between Hargrove and Harrington, and suddenly there's another person pulled into the secret mess that is Hawkins Indiana.(Season 2 finale rewrite, season 3 AU)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After watching season 3, I'm a little pissed. Billy deserved better. Let's show how a real redemption arc works. 
> 
> Hopefully.
> 
> (If you want to come follow/talk with me on Tumblr my blog is bentnotbroken1fanfiction.)

Billy slid into the drivers seat with ease, pulling a cigarette out of the pack and lighting it quickly. After _hours_ of driving around this fucking hick town looking for his good for nothing sister, he'd finally gotten an answer. He inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill his lungs until it burned, burned like his cheek, burned like the anger in his gut. Even flirting with Mrs Wheeler hadn't done anything to ease the simmering hatred he feels for Max at this moment. 

He _hates_ her. The little bitch always runs her mouth, has the _nerve_ to be continuously late despite his father reiterating the importance of being _punctual,_ and has now snuck off with her little nerd friends, and probably _Sinclair,_ and Billy is fucking livid. Because he's told her and _told her_ that there are consequences for this shit! But hey, she don't care. It's no skin of _her_ back. _No_ , it's _his_ skin that sports the punishment for her actions. As if it's _Billy's_ fault that Maxine doesn't listen. As if he is her fucking keeper. 

He puts the Camaro in drive and speeds off towards the middle of bum fuck nowhere.

Maybe that's the whole point, he thinks. His father puts him in charge of her knowing full and well that she would fight him at every turn, not that he _needs_ an excuse to berate him and put him in his place. Or maybe he wants Billy to be so busy _babysitting_ and looking for his damn step sister that he won't have time to _embarrass_ him. 

He shivers. _The harsh, disgusted whisper of a word breathed in his ear, a rough thumb pressing into his throat, panic, pain._

He slams that thought to the back of his mind. No. Not going there. 

It's her fault that _that_ happened the first time too. Couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut. He didn't know if she was just blind to his distress or fucking dumb, but either way she made the comment and he paid for it later, in the dark of the night when everyone else was asleep. 

So, yeah, he's not really thrilled that she seems to keep fucking him over. Like tonight? Why the fuck is she at some shack in the middle of the woods? With a bunch of good for nothing boys. It's like she is _trying_ to piss him off. She's not even toeing the line now, she's gone and hopped a fucking foot _over_ it, and Billy is about to lose his god damn mind. One more mistake this week and he'll be limping too much to enjoy any of the parties he's planning to attend. 

He slams his hand on the steering wheel before turning dangerously fast onto the, what was their names? Byers'? road. 

She's a damn _pest_ and will be the death of him. He _hates_ her. Hates that she still has fire behind her eyes when she calls him an asshole. Hates that she doesn't have to watch what she says, that she doesn't have to creep around the house afraid to even breathe. Hates that she can still stand up for herself. That she is still fucking _fearless_ at times. 

It also worries him. He was just like her once. And that...that didn't go so great for him. She has zero self preservation because she's never had to, and he _knows_ that she will push too far one day and it _won't_ be Billy that pays. As much as he hates her, he doesn't want _that._ Sure, she's held her own against _him_ when he's threatened her and put a bruise or two on her arms, holding her wrist too tightly to get a fucking point across, but Niel Hargrove is a different kind of fucking monster. 

Of course, Billy can take it. He's been taking it since his mother left seven years ago. But Max? There's no way. Her 'tough girl' attitude would crumble to the ground at her feet in the aftermath. 

The house comes into view and he slams on his brakes, dirt flying in the air as he comes to a stop. He sits still for a moment as the door opens and a familiar figure comes out to greet him. 

Oh, this night just _keeps_ getting better. 

_Fucking Harrington_. 

* * *

Steve hears the car before he sees the headlights in the window. He watches the fear cross Max's face as she insists that her brother will kill her. Kill _them._

And Steve just _knows._ He knows it's probably going to come to blows. There is no way around it. He is going to be pissed that Steve is here with his sister. It would give him all the ammo he needs to try to knock him into next Tuesday. They've had this...rivalry, if you'd even call it that, and Steve thinks it's time to put it to an end.

He steps onto the porch and tries to calm his racing heart. He's faced and killed _literal_ god damn monsters. Hargrove doesn't scare him. 

Ok, he _mostly_ doesn't scare him. There has always been something unhinged and dangerous about the other boy, and Steve would be an idiot to underestimate him. But there wasn't time to plan. He could see the terror in the kids faces and he wasn't about to let anything happen to the little shits. They were his responsibility now. 

The door slams and Steve watches the glow of Hargrove's cigarette light up his face. At first it doesn't look angry, it's more amused? What the hell? 

"Am I dreaming," He says, blowing smoke into the air, "or is that you, Harrington?"

"Yeah it's me, don't cream your pants, " He replies and _why the fuck did he say that?_

Billy just sighs and asks him what he's doing here. Like _he's_ the one intruding. 

Fuck this guy.

Steve is just trying to get him to leave without it turning into a brawl. Is his step sister here? No, haven't seen her. Are you sure? She's a Redhead, bit of a bitch. And Steve bites back a snarl. Who the fuck calls their sister a bitch? 

Then he insinuates that Steve is… what... _creeping_ on his sister? On _Max_? What the fuck? Like he would ever do something like that. Come on man, just leave she's not here. 

And then Billy's eyes flit over Steve's shoulder, the hand holding his cigarette coming up to point in the direction of the house. "Then who is that?" 

His stomach drops. The kids have obviously done what he told them not to do, and gathered in the window. 

"Oh, Shit." 

The surprise shove knocks him to the ground. "I told you to plant your feet." He spits, kicking him in the stomach. It knocks the air out of him, and he struggles to get up as Billy barges into the house, slamming the door behind him. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He can hear the kids yelling, can hear Billy's voice, low and threatening. Fuck. Steve clambers up the stairs and yanks the door open.

Hargrove's got Lucas in his clutches by the time he gets there. "You're so dead, Sinclair! " 

And fuck that. How dare he put his hands on these kids!

"No, " Steve says, anger taking over, "You are! " 

He hits Billy as hard as he can and keeps going. Ducking out of the way when he swings back. He thinks Billy is going to be pissed that he got a hit, but instead he whoops and hollers in excitement. He's been _waiting_ to see this King Steve. 

And Steve thinks if it hadn't been obvious _before_ that there is something really wrong with the guy, it is _now_. 

But he keeps fighting, he has kids to protect. He can worry about the implications of that shit later. 

Billy laughs as he takes another blow. Like he doesn't even feel them. Like he's had worse. Steve wonders why that is and pauses just long enough for Billy to get the upperhand. 

Steve never sees the plate coming.

Blood pours down his face as pain erupts across his head. He staggers backward, suddenly disoriented and barely registers himself falling to the floor after Billy savagely headbutts him. 

Oh, god. He's going to have fucking brain damage if this keeps up and yeah… he should probably worry about that because _shit_ , the monsters aren't going to be the the ones to kill him tonight, Billy fucking Hargrove is. 

He puts a hand to his forehead and feels the gash the plate has left. Fuck. 

The kids are still yelling, Billy is still laughing and _Steve_ , Steve is resigned. The blond is already straddling him, one hand fisted in Steve's shirt and the other pulling back to land another blow and he thinks this is it. "Just get it over with" He hisses, hoping maybe he will get this crazy anger out and he'll leave the kids alone. He goes limp in Billy grip, shuts his eyes tight and braces himself for the impact, but it doesn't come. He slowly opens his eyes to look up and is shocked to see confusion and then _horror_ cross the bloodied face above him. Blue eyes search his and Steve really has no idea what the fuck is happening right now. 

"Fuck! " Billy screams, letting go and rising suddenly, leaving him shaking on the floor. Everyone gives him a wide berth as he stalks into the kitchen. "Fuck!" He repeats, pulling at his hair, now tinged red from his bloody fingers. Max slowly moves to stand in between them, arms raised in surrender as she approaches, like her brother is a wild animal and well… that's pretty fucking accurate right now. 

"Billy? It's ok.. Ok? I'll go."

Dustin and Mike drop to the floor next to Steve and they are asking him questions. _Is he alright? How many fingers? Steve are you with me? Come on, man. Talk to me! Steve!!_

But he can't focus. His vision is blurring and his head feels like it's going to explode. He needs to stay awake, he knows he does. He doesn't know what Billy plans to do so he is still watching him pace in the kitchen, eyes flicking to Steve's prone form and back again, coming down from his rage fest. He bellows one last "Fuck! " And kicks the refrigerator. 

_Oh, no._

There's a collective gasp as the force of it rattles the door open and the body of the demodog tumbles out, landing on the angry boys boots. He stares down at the corpse for a second before whispering, "What the _fuck_?" 

Steve doesn't hear what else he says as he turns to them, because darkness is quickly closing in on him and there's nothing he can do about it. 

He just hopes the kids will be alright. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy really wants to know what the fuck is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is unbeta'd. 
> 
> And I will likely be updating frequently until I get my anger out, because, damn, I'm still pissed. 
> 
> Updates should be weekly after that.

Billy was pleasantly surprised. Steve Harrington could _actually fight._ The bastard could _also_ take a hit like nobody's business. This was going to be fun. It had been awhile since he's had a real one on one fight with someone that could go toe to toe with him, and it feels… Well, it feels good. 

All the tension, the anger, the _hatred_ , finally has an outlet. Sure, he could have followed through and roughed up Sinclair a bit, but it wouldn't have helped. He would have held back, he's not his _dad,_ ok. But going ham on Harrington? _That_ he could do. 

He looks different now than he did on the porch. There's a hard look in his eyes as he punches Billy, like he's been lit with a righteous fire. Like he's some sort of fucking _hero_. Hell, maybe he is. After all, _Billy_ is the villain in Max's life, isn't he? 

He's made King Steve show up to bat and if he'd known all it took was threatening this band of misfits, he would have done it long ago. _This_ Steve, the one with eyes that say he'll end you, a busted lip and brusing knuckles, he's fucking beautiful. 

It would have been a beautiful fight too, if he would have let it continue the way it was, but he's got to get Max back home. It's a damn shame that Billy has to fight dirty. 

The haze of anger turned elation has fully settled in his chest and he can't stop the manic laughter that escapes his lips as Harrington stumbles back, broken ceramic skittering across the floor. God, it feels _good._ Show all these punks who is really in control here. They are screaming at him, fear laced in their voices and that just eggs him on. _Yes,_ he thinks, _fear me_. 

He isn't thinking anything, though, when he straddles the man on the floor. He just wants to hold onto this feeling. This _power._ He grabs Harrington's shirt and is about to go to town on his pretty little face when he sees the resignation in his eyes. "Just get it over with," he whispers, and then the fight just leaves him, his body going still. Harrington shuts his eyes, and it's like he's just... _giving up._ He _wants_ Billy to pummel him. Wants it to please. be. over. 

_Just get it over with._

The words ricochet through his mind like a bullet and Billy just… he just _can't_. 

_"Please," he'd silently begged, bile creeping up his throat as angry eyes and heavy hands gripped him, "get it over with. Just hit me already! Just do it and leave me alone to lick my wounds."_

"Fuck! " He screams, and puts as much distance between them as he can. It's like...its like he was staring at himself. Harrington was in _his_ place and Billy was... _No_! 

His chest aches. He's not his dad. He's _not._ But… the way Harrington looked… "Fuck!" He _is_ his dad. He's fucking Niel Hargrove, all anger and violence and he feels like he's going to throw up. He pulls at his hair because he doesn't know what else to do with his hands… his hands… that are split open… bloody… 

He sees Max creeping closer to him, hands out and placating. _Shit_. That's right, there are witnesses to this shit show. "Billy, it's ok, " She says quietly, like she is afraid he's going to lash out and bite her. Can't really blame her, though. Moments earlier he would have. 

He glances back to the mess he's made of Harrington's face. He just _had_ to use a plate, didn't he? _Jesus Christ._

He's not used to this, this _feeling_ in his chest, the churning in his stomach. Like he fucked up for real. This wasn't just yelling at Max or hitting some dick that had the balls enough to fight with him. This was… this was different. He looks down at his busted knuckles. He'd let his anger…

Again he rages, "Fuck! " and lands a good hard kick to the refrigerator. At least _that_ won't bleed out on the floor. 

He hears a soft gasp as the door opens and something heavy flops out of it, landing with a disgusting splat. 

He stares down at it and it takes a second for his mind to catch up to what his eyes are seeing. There's a… _creature_ .. laying at his feet. Faceless and ugly, with something still oozing out of it and spilling onto his boots "What the _fuck_?"

Chaos descends and he suddenly has four teenage brats pulling at him, at his clothes, his arms, and all of them talking at once. 

_It's not what you think. Billy, come on. Let's just go. It's a science experiment. Science! Nothing to see here, right?!_

Their hands are still grabbing him, dragging him away from the blob of creature.

 _Don't touch me!_ He thinks. " _Hands off!"_ They aren't listening, they keep talking and damn they are so loud! And they _suck_ at lying. He wants them to just- "Shut up!" He yells again, twisting out of their hold and staring them down. "Everyone, _shut the fuck up_! " 

They all take a step back and stare at him, barely making a sound as he takes a few ragged breaths and looks back down at the _thing_ before glancing around the room. He hadn't been paying attention before, but there are some crazy ass drawings lining the walls, the furniture, the floor. He's breathing heavy now, but it's not from his fight with Harrington. Something is seriously _wrong_ here. 

He looks at his sister and snaps his fingers at her, " _You,_ " He says, "Explain to me what the _fuck_ is going on." 

"Billy-" She starts, but he interrupts. 

" _Now, Maxine."_

She takes a deep breath and crazy words he's never heard come spewing out of her mouth. She asks Lucas to explain some things she doesn't know. Something about an Upside Down. _What is upside down? Demo-what nows? Secret labs? Experiments._

_Monsters._

He holds up his hand to stop them. "Ok, that's enough." He _thinks_ he understands but he's not sure. It sounds like something out of a horror film. 

And where does _Harrington_ fit into all this? 

Speaking of Harrington, the King himself groans and Billy pushes past the group of kids to kneel on the floor. He's not dealing with this monster shit alone. 

Again a flurry of motion overcomes him and he's staring into the face of a curly haired kid whose hands are holding tightly to his arm. "Don't you fucking touch him. " He snarls, and damn. Billy has to give the little shit props. 

"I'm not going to _hurt_ him, " He scoffs, "just need to wake his ass up so he can explain to me why he's carting around my sister and a bunch of rejects to go monster hunting." 

Reluctantly the boy removes his hand, but he is still standing right next to him, refusing to back up. He ignores the kid and focuses on the task at hand. 

"Hey, Pretty boy," He says to Harrington, gently moving his face from side to side. He tries not to stare too long at the bruise now forming on his eye. "Time to wake up. " The older boy groans again but doesn't do much else. "Shit. I think I gave him a concussion. " 

"No, shit! " Curly says, "you don't fucking say? "

"Dustin! " Max warns, "shut up! "

"No! I won't shut up! Your stupid brother knocked Steve out! " He screams. "He could have killed him! "

That pain he felt earlier sinks deep into his chest. He's right. If Billy hadn't stopped-

The other kid, Wheeler-the-prude's brother, he thinks, pipes up from the threshold. "Guys! We don't have time for this! We need to go! " 

"Go?" He asks, voice turning cold and hard. "You aren't going anywhere." He's not letting his fucking sister out of his sight. Not with… those _monsters_ running around. He could let the other kids do what they want, he supposes, but damn, Harrington took an ass beating to protect them. He's not going to leave their deaths on his conscious. 

"Hate to break it to you," Wheeler kid replies, "but we weren't going to listen to _Steve_ when he said we couldn't go. What makes you think we are going to listen to _you?"_

This kid has a fucking death wish. 

He jumps up and kind of revels in the way they all scurry back a bit. " _Because,_ Stevie boy here couldn't take me on. You really think _you_ can get through me?" 

They ponder that for a moment before the brat grabs a bat with all kinds of nails sticking out of it. 

Billy backs down a bit. "Hey now, champ. Let's not get crazy, alright? " 

"Max, " The boy calls, nodding over his shoulder, "Get the syringe. " 

Billy feels his eyes widen in shock. "The what-?"

Max scrambles to grab something from a table and when she comes back to her friends side be can tell that it is indeed, a syringe. But of what? 

He's weighing his options now. He could rush at her and take it from her easily, but there's no telling if the kid will _actually_ hit him with the bat. And while it wouldn't be the first time he's taken a bat to the back, the last one didn't have fucking nails in it. "You don't have to do this, Max. " He tells her, hoping to get her to be reasonable. 

Her face hardens. "I do, and I will if you don't let us go. We _need_ to go." 

"You really going to poke me with that thing? " He asks her. "Do you even know what's in it? Or how much to administer? It could kill me. Is that what you want? "

"It's a sedative, and I don't care. We have to go, and you're going to let us. " 

Well, if he ever wondered if Max wanted him dead, he has his answer. 

_This is such bullshit._

Much like the man on the floor, all the fight leaves him. "Fine, " He crosses his arms in front of his chest. "But I'm going with you. "

A chorus of protests echo around him. 

"That's the deal! " He screams, trying to get his point across. "You go, I go. End of discussion. "

Wheeler makes a face like he just ate a barrel of lemons. "Ugh, alright. Come then. I don't care, but we have to leave NOW. " Before Billy can ask where they are going, he disappears down the hallway. 

_Ok._

Curly, or Dustin he remembers Max calling him, drops beside Harrington. "We can't leave Steve! " 

Sinclair huffs, "Look at him Dustin. He is no condition to fight. Let's leave him here. " 

"So the demodogs can come snack on him while we're gone?! I don't think so." 

Billy wants to bang his head into a wall. This is fucking _ridiculous._

Wheeler reappears with a set of keys dangling from his hand. 

"Mike? Are those Mrs Byers car keys? " 

The little shit _rolls his eyes._ "How the hell did you think we were going to _get there? Walk? "_

He digs his palms into his eyes, trying _really_ hard not to kill these annoying brats, before motioning for the kid to hand them over. He relents and Billy pockets the keys before bending over to scoop Harrington off the floor. He's actually heavier than he looks and he grunts with the exertion. "Open the fucking door. " 

It's Max that complies and helps him shove the unconscious man into the back seat. Dustin comes out of the house with a first aid kit and an ice pack and it's _his turn_ to roll his eyes. Besides cleaning the cut and bandaging his head, nothing in that box would help wake him up. Max and Sinclair disappear back into the house and he almost yells at them to get the hell back out here, but they soon reappear with more boxes of stuff and now he's really confused. "What is all this junk?" he asks, pulling out a pair of goggles before they are tossed into the trunk of the car. 

"It's for our _monster hunting_ ," Wheeler sneers, shoving the menacing bat into a backpack. "How else are we going to defend ourselves?

Alright, Billy can get behind that. In fact, he has something he could work with too. He jogs over to the Camaro and pops the trunk, grabbing the heavy metal crowbar he keeps there...you know...just in case. 

Wheeler makes a face as he returns with it resting on his shoulder. "What? You can't tell me we are going after those things and not expect me to have a weapon."

He ignores him and throws more stuff into the trunk. Billy lights a cigarette and inhales. What the fuck is he even doing here? Was he really going along with this crazy shit?Maybe they are all pulling one over on him. This shit can't be real, but then Max is dragging gasoline cans over and it's starting to feel like they are going to be blowing something up tonight. 

"Are you little shits done packing yet?" He huffs in annoyance. His nerves are fried and he just wants to get this shit over with.

They all nod and he slides into the front seat while his sister jumps in the passenger side, the other two piling into the back with Dustin and sleeping beauty. He takes another drag of his cigarette and stares for a moment at the creepy house, where he knows a dead monster dog lies on the floor and a puddle of Steve Harrington's blood soaks into the carpet. He tries hard not to think about how that makes him feel. 

_Fuck this night._

"Ok, " He speaks finally, putting the car in reverse and chucking the still burning butt out the window. "Where to shit birds? "


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's official, Steve is the worst babysitter ever.

Steve regains his hearing first, though it was a bit hit or miss for a few moments. 

“Here….no turn…”

His head fucking _hurts,_ and his face.. _Oh, god._ What happened after he passed out?

“Shut...drive…”

 _Drive?_ What? Wait, where were they?

“...Billy!”

His eyes snap open. _Billy?!_ “Wai-” he tries to speak but it feels like his mouth is full of cotton. Why is everything so blurry? Where _the fuck are_ they?

It’s Dustin who grabs his hand when he tries to touch his face. “No, no. Don’t touch it.”

“Wher-” he tries again as the fuzzy shapes turn into people, into the _kids_ and things are zooming past them, and yeah this is what he was afraid of. They are in a moving car.

They hit a pothole and he nearly topples onto Mike.

"Hey, asshole!” Dustin hollers, kicking the seat in front of him, “Watch where you’re going. Want to give him _another_ concussion?” 

Steve sits up slowly, feeling a pull on his hair. He gingerly brings his hand to where he knows the gash is. Apparently it's been bandaged, so at least he's not bleeding out anymore. He moves his attention to the front seat where Max is sitting with a map in her lap and Lucas holding a flashlight over head so she can see. He’s almost too scared to look at the driver's seat, but when he does his heart nearly bangs out of his chest. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” This isn’t happening. It’s not. This is a dream. A really bad, head injury induced dream.

He hears the blond laugh. “Oh, good morning, Princess. Good of you to finally join us.”

Shit. It’s not a dream. Billy fucking Hargrove is driving and the last thing he remembers about Hargrove is that the demodog had literally fallen on him. So, Steve has to ask, “What the hell is going on here?!” It’s stupid, he knows what’s going on, but he is still holding out hope that he’s _wrong_ . That they are driving toward _safety_ and not some suicide mission in some creepy ass tunnels. “Please tell me we aren’t going where I think we’re going,” his breath hitches and he starts to panic because this can _not_ be happening right now, he’s supposed to be keeping them _safe_ and how can he do _that_ if they are driving straight for danger? He tries to lean forward to, he doesn’t really know, _try_ grabbing hold of the steering wheel, but Dustin is pulling him back. 

“Steve, whoa it’s ok. You’re fine buddy. We’re fine.”

“No! Dustin! No! We are in-” he pauses and looks around at the interior, “Jonathan’s _moms_ car, and the dick that made my face look like _this_ ” he points to his black eye and bloody nose for emphasis, “is behind the wheel, while fuck knows what is happening at the lab. We are the _furthest_ thing away from fine!” 

“Calm down, Pretty Boy, no need for hysterics.”

 _Oh, that’s it._ “Fuck you, Hargrove! What, do you like _know_ everything now? Do you _know_ what they have planned? You should have fucked off. Why the hell are you even still _here_?”

“I’m _here_ , because some little bastard threatened me with a fucking baseball bat from hell and tried to get my sister to dose me with a sedative if I didn’t let them leave. And I figured, hey, why not? They are going out to hunt creatures of the night so I might as well join them. _Could be fun_.” He says it with a shrug. Like it’s not a big deal. Like he didn’t just find out that monsters were real and that they are driving right for them. 

“You’re crazy,” he mutters, half delirious with the ridiculousness of this situation. “You’re _fucking_ crazy! All of you!”

He needs to get out. _They need to leave_ . They need to _stop_. “Pull over.”

“No can do, amigo,” he nods over to Max, “Little sis still has that pesky syringe.”

And yeah, now that he’s looking, he can see it in her hand, but he really doesn't care about that right now. He shouts, “Pull. Over!” at the same time Lucas tells him to “Turn here!”

The car jerks to the right as Hargrove makes the turn and hits the field, causing Steve to smack his head on the ceiling when they go over a few bumps. 

“Whoa ho! This is what I'm _talking_ about!” Hargove shouts and it’s official, he is a total psychopath. 

They skid to a stop when the headlights come across the hole Hopper made and it’s barely in park before the kids start jumping out. Steve stumbles after them, groaning as the throbbing in his head intensifies. “No...no guys.” he pleads as they unpack scarves, goggles, rope and gasoline? Jesus they are really going to go through with this. He needs to do something. “Hey, where are you going? Are you deaf? Hello!” he knocks on the roof, “We are _not_ going down there!” 

They continue to ignore him and he finally turns to face Hargrove. “A little help here, man?”

He just grins wolfishly and lights a cigarette. 

“Wow, yeah, thanks for the help. It’s not like you _owe_ me or anything. You know, you _just_ beat the ever loving shit out of me.”

His smile falters at that. “Look, I’m _here_ for _Max_ .” He points to the ground, “And If _she’s_ going down in that creepy ass hole, _so am I_.” 

“Great, that’s great. You’re going too. Am I the only sane one here?!” He starts grabbing things from Dustin’s hands. “This isn't happening. We are NOT going down there, you hear me! We’re _not_!”

Dustin grabs his shoulder. “Steve! Listen, I know you’re upset, I get it. But a member of The Party needs assistance, and we are here to provide that assistance.” Steve wants to argue because now is really not the time, but Dustin is still talking, “I know you promised Nance that you’d keep us safe.” He pulls out a backpack, the familiar bat sticking out of it and hands it to him expectantly, “So keep us safe.”

 _Fuck._ They had him right where they wanted him. There was no way he was going to let these kids go down there alone and with _Billy Hargrove_ of all people. 

He grabs the backpack and slings it over his shoulder. “Fine! But I’m in charge.”

Dustin smiles brightly, “Sure!” 

He glances back over at Hargrove who is swinging around a...crowbar? And thinks this is the most fucked up situation he’s ever been in. He pulls on a scarf and a pair of goggles, being mindful of his injuries, and heads for the hole, where Mike is already throwing down rope. 

“Don’t you all look like a bunch of nerds.” Billy says, patting Steve on the back. He does his best not to flinch at the contact, but it’s pretty obvious, and the other boy steps away from him. 

Dustin shoves a handkerchief in his hand. “You’re gonna want to put it on, man. I’m serious. This shit is toxic.”

Billy stares down at it and shrugs, “Yeah ok.” He wraps it around his nose and mouth, “But i’m not wearing those fucking goggles.”

Dustin sighs, “Sure whatever, let your vanity kill you. Let’s go.” 

The kids are already in the hole when Steve jumps down, Billy right behind him. The first thing he realizes is that it is _cold_ . Like colder than underground should be. And it’s _dark_ but he can still see the particles floating in the air all around him. “Holy shit.” Nancy wasn’t kidding when she’d described the terror and unearthly feeling she had when she’d been pulled into the Upside Down. This is messed up.

Billy must sense it too because he mutters, “What the fuck _is this_ , Harrington?” 

He knows this has to be unnerving for him, hell Steve is spooked as fuck, but he told him to stay back. It’s not his fault that he didn’t take his warning seriously. “Hey, you wanted to come.” 

His eyebrows bow down in a frown but Steve turns to the kids, flashlights beaming and bouncing off the walls of the tunnel and on each other's faces as they argue about which way to go. 

“Just follow me.” Mike says, taking the map and moving forward down one of the twisting tunnels. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. hey. I don’t _think_ so.” Steve interjects, moving to stand in front of him. “Any of you little shits die down here, I’m getting the blame. Got it, dipshit? I’ll lead the way.”

“Ohh, finally taking charge, King Steve? I _like_ it.”

Max groans. “ _Shut up, Billy_.”

“ _You_ shut up,” he replies, roughly nudging her out of the way. 

Steve is too tired for this. " _Everybody_ , shut up." He studies the map and nods in the direction Mike was going. "Yep, it's this way. Come on." 

They start trudging after him and for once they are quiet. He doesn't blame them, the tunnels feel suffocating and dread fills his stomach with every step he takes. He studies the map and directs them down another corridor, trying not to think about what else is down here with them. Down in this hole where they have nowhere to go. Where it would be easy to get _lost._

He shudders.

No one is getting lost on his watch. No way. No how. Not happening. They've already lost too much to this Flayer thing. He won't let it win. Even if the air seems to get thicker the farther they go. Even if they can hear the far off cry of a demodog. Even if his hands are shaking when he reads the map. Fear is weird. He knows he's scared but yet his feet keep moving. He figures the kids are no different, except for maybe Mike. That kid has seemed way too high strung and determined to be _scared_. 

It should probably make Steve feel like a total loser that he's more afraid than a _child_ , but it doesn't. Sure, he's scared as hell, but he's still leading this little expedition despite that, so he feels like he's doing ok, all things considered. But he still can't shake the paranoia that he'll lose someone so he looks back every so often to make sure all the kids are there. Billy is near the back behind Max again and Steve can tell, even in the dark, that he is tense. He's tapping the crowbar on his leg as he walks, and his gait is almost… defensive. Dustin is bringing up the rear, lagging a foot or so behind him. 

He moves forward calling back over his shoulder. "Keep up, Henderson!" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming." He sounds put off about it and Steve wants to smack him upside his head. It's not a good time to be left behind. They could fucking _die._

_These little shits owe him so much for this._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't usually write in present tense, so I sincerely apologize if it switches every so often. If you notice something let me know and I'll change it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is going to have nightmares about this place for weeks.

It was harder for Billy to slip back into his devil-may-care persona than he originally thought. 

The pent of anger and rage, the need to _destroy_ had all but disappeared, and now he was left feeling...well, strange. It had been easier when Harrington was passed out. He could compartmentalize then. He could handle the crazy shit his sister had said because at least this hell hole was a literal _hell hole_ and not just a shitty town that existed solely to mock him. Monsters? Sure. He _knew_ monsters. Driving a bunch of brats to an empty field? Why not? He'd done more outrageous things in the last _week._ But hearing the muffled and downright sore voice of Harrington waking up made his mask crack. 

The nasty epiphany he'd had less than an hour ago was still settling in his gut like a bad case of food poisoning, and he didn't want to spend too much time dwelling on it. So he popped his neck, put the mask back in place and did what he was told, like the good little hostage he was. 

Hostage. Yeah, that shit was funny. He wasn't _actually_ worried about their threats anymore. He could ditch them on the side of the road if he wanted to, but this whole upside-down-monster thing was obviously dangerous. He wasn't going to leave Max and her friends to deal with it, even _if_ these dog things could potentially kill him. The fact was that he was more afraid of his _dad_ killing him if he came home without her again. Unlike death by hell beast, he'd probably make Billy suffer first. 

He's a bystander to the pathetic attempt at talking the kids out of this adventure. He's got nothing to do with this. He's here for _Max._ He tells Harrington just as much before they're all dropping down into the darkness. 

He doesn't know what he's expecting at first, maybe just your run of the mill damp hole, but what he finds when he jumps in after Harrington is beyond his imagination. It's _otherworldly_ is what it is, and he's suddenly glad for the mask on his face. There's creepy looking ash in the air that doesn't fall, just fucking _floats,_ and that _really_ isn't normal. It's also cold as fuck and he wishes he'd brought his damn jacket. 

Oh, well. Can't do anything about it now. Not like it would have made much of a difference any way. This kind of cold seemed to seep right into your bones. 

He still isn't entirely sure what is going on, beyond knowing they are going to set something on fire, but he can't turn back now. He's in it, whatever _it_ is. 

And he has to say, he's impressed with Harrington taking charge. It's like tonight he's seeing the person everyone talks about him being. Not the pussy whipped, rundown, sad looking babysitter that he'd been interacting with. It was refreshing. He usually doesn't like being a follower, hates being told what to do, but in this case, he'd gladly step aside and let King Steve take the lead. 

He falls back to almost bring up the rear of this little party so he can keep an eye on Max and Sinclair. There's just the one boy behind him as they stumble along the uneven ground. It's only because his ears have been trained to listen for footsteps that he notices the ones behind him disappear. He sighs in annoyance, spinning around and stalking back a few yards. Do these shitty brats _ever_ do what they’re told?

Sure enough, the Henderson kid is standing alone, staring up at something hanging from the ceiling. Like a fucking _moron._

"Hey!" He calls, surprising the boy enough that he falls on his ass just as some kind of flower shoots more ashy stuff into the air. 

Billy hauls the boy up by the back of his shirt, "Come on, Shirley Temple, keep up with the rest of the class." 

"Shit! I'm sorry, ok? I got distracted. Let me go. " 

" _Move then_ ," He shoves him forward and they quickly catch up with the others who had stopped when they'd heard Billy shout. 

They reach the "hub" a few minutes later, but Billy stands back at the entrance of _th_ eir tunnel. It would be too easy to get turned around in this mess and these idiots are haphazardly sloshing gasoline everywhere, including their own clothes. He'd rather not accidentally set himself on fire, thank you very much. 

Harrington ushers them all beside Billy when they're done and pulls out a zippo. "I'm in such deep shit," He mutters, lighting it and tossing the flame into the fuel. 

The room is immediately ablaze and Billy grabs Max by the arm tugging her along. There's no telling how much time they have before this whole damn place is engulfed. They need to get out pronto. 

Something is different as they run the way they came. _Fuck_ , the walls were _moving_ now, inky tentacle like vines whipping out and trying to get ahold of them. He was going to have fucking nightmares for _weeks_ after this. 

They're jumping over them, doing everything in their power to not get snared when Wheeler trips. _They don't have time for this._

Harrington uses the Hell Bat to beat the monster vine off the kid because he's still in King Steve mode, all steely determination and action. It makes Billy think about the fire in his eyes when they'd fought and how much he'd really like to- 

He doesn’t get to finish the thought because another vine is wrapping itself around Max's calf now as she tries helping the kid up and Billy sort of loses it. It's not like he _cares, ok,_ it's just that it's his responsibility to protect her. No freaky vine thing is going to drag her down and make her into its dinner. Not while he's here. 

He reacts quickly, hacking away at it with the crowbar, laughter bubbling in his throat as black blood, _if it even was blood,_ splatters across the handkerchief and his forehead. The rush it sends through him is amazing. He's never felt so fucking alive. 

He pulls his sister up off the ground and they all start moving again until they aren't . There's a growl ahead and they almost crash into each other in a haste to stop. 

The faceless creature is _there._ Its ugly head is opening up and there are _thousands of razor sharp teeth_ glistening in the beams of the flashlights _._

All that compartmentalization shit from earlier? Yeah, it flies out the fucking window. 

It's not like he wasn't _aware_ that these monster things were down here. Hell, he'd seen the one back at the Byers house with his own two eyes, but this wasn't like that. It wasn't some abstract thing that Billy could tuck safely away in the recesses of his mind with all the other shit that _didn't happen._ There was no ignoring it or pretending it had all been a fucking joke, because _this_ thing was alive and menancing, and walking right at them. 

Henderson says something then, a name maybe, and the kids do that thing where they gasp at once and Billy should just get used to being out of the loop by now. 

_Apparently_ , this kid had thought it was _great idea_ to have this monster dog as a fucking _pet_? _Jesus,_ how were these kids still _alive_? 

He's talking to it and pulls something out of his pocket. 

"A _candy bar? "_ He snorts, and gets shushed and side eyed, like he's the only one thinking this is crazy. 

But somehow it fucking _works_. "Holy shit." 

"Go, _go go go_." Henderson waves them on and they're running desperately again to the exit. He's so glad he's physically fit. He doesn't know how these nerds are keeping up. Fear must be one hell of a motivator. 

They can see a faint light in the distance. _Halle-fucking-lujah._ Freedom is within their reach, they just have to _keep moving._

Billy reaches the rope first, but he doesn't climb. He spins around and screams, "Max!" before he drops the crowbar, squats down, and forms a foothold with his hands to give her an extra boost to get out of the hole. 

Harrington is shoving the rest of them to the rope and they both help them climb, shouting, _Faster! Faster! Come on! Hurry the fuck up!_ As the roar of the fire and animalistic growls and cries get closer. 

The kids are _finally_ above ground and he motions to the other. "Sometime _today_ , Pretty Boy!" 

But he shakes his head. "Leader goes last." 

Billy grabs his shirt for the third time that night and hisses, "Oh, my fucking God we don't have time for this!" 

And they _don't, b_ ecause the dog monsters are rounding the bend, the brats are all _screaming_ , and there's adrenaline rushing through his veins like lightning. So, he picks up his weapon, nods to Harrington, and tells him to _plant his fucking feet_ because this _it_. Times up. It's probably the end of the road for them, but he's not going to go down without a fight and like hell he's leaving Harrington in this shit hole to die alone. 

There's only two seconds of heart pounding anxiety before the hoard is upon them and Billy is poised to start swinging, but instead of rows of sharp teeth, ripping flesh, and warm blood spraying everything, there's just a whoosh of air as the monsters rush past them like they don't even exist. 

_Weird._

One knocks into him in its hurry and he nearly stumbles back, but Harrington grabs his arm, keeping him from falling. 

"Should have planted your feet," He quips, voice tinged with a mixture of amusement and relief. 

"Yeah, yeah. Go fuck yourself." He replies, yanking his arm out of his grasp. "Not that I'm not _grateful_ to be in one piece, but where are they going?" 

That's when the Wheeler kid loses his Goddamn mind. 

"Eleven!!" He screams and tries jumping back down into the hole. The other kids grab him as Harrington shimmies up the rope and nearly tackles him to the ground. 

Billy climbs out just in time to see him shaking the kids shoulders. "Stop! We're done, Mike! You're _not_ going back in there."

"I have to! You don't understand! She needs help!"

"She _has_ help!" Says Henderson. 

"We already distracted them. We gave her more time!" Sinclair insists 

Then Harrington yells, "Stop fighting me!" as Wheeler takes a swing, and this would be really hilarious in any other situation, but right now it’s just sad.

"No! I have to go!"

Before anyone else can respond, something strange happens with the headlights, because of course it fucking does, that stops them in their tracks, They glow brighter than Billy has ever seen and they all put their hands in front of their eyes, shielding them from the light. It feels as if the bulbs are about to burst, but that was impossible. That doesn't happen. 

"What the-" As sudden as the blinding light appeared, it's gone, the headlights fading back into their normal level of intensity. 

"Well," He says after a beat. "That was fun."

Max rolls her eyes and everyone starts talking again. Billy rubs his temples and sighs loudly. Was it like this _all_ the time? Loud and obnoxious and entirely too much sass thrown around? If it was, he felt a bit sorry for Harrington. He’d have shoved them all in a closet or something a long ass time ago. Damn. 

Said man is now yelling over the group and demanding that they get the hell in the car before anything else happens. He is _all_ for that and drops into the driver's seat, pulling off the handkerchief and fishing for a cigarette, because after _that_ twenty minutes of bullshit, he fucking _needs_ one. 

Unlike the ride there, this time Harrington sits in the passenger side with all the brats packed together in the back. He’s huffing and running his hands carefully through his hair, muttering something about Nancy Wheeler murdering him. 

It may be because the adrenaline is finally waning, but Billy wants to laugh at that notion. After all the shit that went down tonight, the only one with any chance of being murdered before sunrise is _him_. 

The mood is rather somber as they pull up to the house. He guesses it's because they are worried about their friends, but _he's_ quiet because he's still trying to figure out if maybe Max actually had used the tranq on him and that this was all in his head. He doesn't know which scenario would be worse. 

Another set of headlights pulls up next to them and the kids tumble out of the car. They are suddenly smiling and helping some lady, the owner of this car he assumes, with a different kid drenched in sweat. Just how many kids does his sister hang out with? 

Nancy Wheeler and the freak Byers get out of the front and they are talking to her brother, leaning on each other and… _huh…_ they are looking rather _chummy_. He glances over to Harrington and sees that his eyes are also trained on them and his hands are shaking. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but there. 

"Hey, isn't Wheeler supposed to be with _you_?" Billy asks, because he's a fucking _asshole_ , alright? 

A humorless laugh fills the car as he shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, before today I thought so, but our whole relationship was apparently _bullshit_ and so am I."

Ok, that makes zero fucking sense, and he's about to say just that when Byers opens his door and tries to drag him out by his shirt. Billy let's him. He just has no fight left in him at this point. 

"What the _hell_ are _you_ doing here?" He spits. 

It's a fair question but he says, "Hey now, Byers, watch the merchandise," instead of answering. 

"Wait!" Harrington runs around the car, trying to diffuse the situation. "Stop! Hold on, Jonathan. I can explain. " 

Nancy gasps when she sees him, " _Steve_ , what happened to your _face_? " 

Billy grins and raises a hand, " _I can explain."_

Harrington shoots him a withering look before turning back to them. "Let's just take it inside, alright? He _knows_. He knows about the demodogs and the upside down." 

"What? " 

" _Seriously?!"_

"Like I said, he knows. We can explain everything when Hopper gets here," He pauses, " _If_ Hopper gets here." 

Hopper _? Oh shit._ That's _right_ . They'd mentioned that the chief of fucking _police_ is in on this sideshow circus. He wasn't a fan of Billy to begin with, so he's sure he'll have _a lot_ to say about the state of Harrington's face. 

_Fuck._

This really wasn't his night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, this wasn't my favorite chapter to write, but I wanted to incorporate all the tunnel scenes and how they could have gone had Billy been there to help. 
> 
> Hopefully it wasn't boring or redundant.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn't know how he ended up caring about a bunch of little shits, but it's too late to turn back now.

When Jonathan pulls Billy out of the car, and Nancy asks what happened to his face, Steve wonders if he's in the twilight zone. The fight with Hargrove feels like it happened _years_ ago, or in another _life_. He'd had bigger things to worry about than his scuffle with Max's brother. 

Like not getting the shitheads killed. 

Steve follows Nancy into the house, Billy and Jonathan trailing behind him. 

"So, I guess Will is ok now?" He asks, because he can't think of anything else to say that won't come out wrong. 

"Yeah. Yeah he's fine. It's gone." 

That's a relief. "Good. I'm glad it worked." He offers her a tight smile and she smiles back until she sees the state the house is in. 

"What- This looks worse than when we left." 

Steve coughs nervously and rubs his chest. He doesn't even know _why_ he's nervous. 

"Yeah, well, um, there was a bit of a-"

"Is that _blood_ on the floor?!" 

He sighs. "Like I _said_ , we should wait for Hopper." 

"It was me." Billy says, flopping down onto the couch and lighting a cigarette. 

" _Hargrove_ ," Steve warns. 

" _Harrington."_ He rolls his shoulders and addresses Nancy. "You wanna know what happened to your boyfriends face?" He pauses and looks between her and Jonathan. " _Oh_ , that's right. I'm _sorry_ , _ex_ boyfriends face? It was me. I hit him."

Steve feels a stab of pain at the word _ex_ boyfriend and really wishes Billy would keep his mouth shut. He's not making it easy for himself. 

Anger flashes across both of their faces and Steve kind of thinks they have no right to be angry. What they'd done had honestly hurt him a _hell_ of a lot worse. _Billy_ wasn't his _friend_ . Billy didn't _betray_ him. He had always been upfront with his hostility. Steve had always known the asshole wanted a fight. What Nancy had done...well, his face would heal in a couple of weeks, his heart? Not so much. 

Jonathan is scowling. "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

He takes a drag. "I came for my sister." Exhales a cloud of smoke. "He got in my way."

He says it so nonchalantly, like it had been that simple. Steve honestly wishes it was. He's still not 100% sure what went down with Hargrove or how he feels about it. He doesn't know why he stopped hitting him or why he was so out of control in the first place. 

Waking up in the car had freaked him out and he'd been jumpy at first, afraid of what he might do, but all of that kind of faded once they were underground. Down there, none of it mattered. Down there, everything had changed. 

The radio crackles and Mike runs into the room like his ass is on fire. Hopper's voice filters through and everyone is silent. "Jonathan, it's closed. She.. It's closed."

Mike grabs it, "Is El alright! "

A shuffle. "Yeah, yeah, kid. She's alright."

Jonathan takes the walkie from him. "How long will it take for you to get back here? "

"Thirty or forty minutes maybe, why?" 

Jonathan frowns at the back of Billy's head. "We have a bit of a situation here. Of the human kind." 

The chief sighs heavily. "Alright, I'm- we're on our way."

They can hear the kids talking in Wills room and Mrs Byers comes out, shutting the door behind her. She winces when she looks up at him. "Oh, honey. Let's get you fixed up." 

She sits him at the table and starts cleaning the gash on his head. Dustin had only been able to do so much. He hisses through his teeth as the disinfectant burns, but he lets her do it. "You should probably get stitches," She tuts. "but a butterfly will have to do for now."

"Thanks, Mrs Byers." 

"It's Joyce, Steve. We've been through enough by now that you can call me Joyce." 

He gives her the warmest smile he could muster. She's right. They've all been through hell and back and she even lost someone she loved. But he'll probably never feel comfortable calling her Joyce. Still, he likes the sentiment. 

By the time Hopper walks through the door carrying an exhausted Eleven, Nancy and Jonathan have cleaned up most of the mess, Billy is smoking in silence with Mrs Byers at the kitchen table, and Steve jumps up from the couch so she'll have a place to lay down. 

Mike is at her side in an instant. "I thought you said she was fine?!"

The little girl's eyes flutter open. "Fine. Mike. _Tired."_

Billy is watching with a what the fuck look on his face. Maybe the kids left Eleven's powers out of the story when they'd told him. 

Hopper runs a hand through her slicked back hair, messing it up. "Rest, kid." 

She nods and closes her eyes, hand still gripping Mike's tightly.

And damn. He's kind of envious of comfortable contact the two of them had. There was something really wrong with him. 

The burly man turns from them and frowns when he gets a good look Steve. "What-" He starts but then sees Hargrove sitting at the table. 

"Hey, Chief." He waves a hand in greeting. 

Hopper looks tired as hell as he says, "Mind telling me what Hargrove is doing here? "

A chorus of " _He knows_ ," echo across the living room. 

Billy laughs, it's empty and hollow, " _Damn_ , it feels like I joined a cult or something." 

Hopper pinches the bridge of his nose. " _H-how_ did that happen exactly?" 

Jonathan answers before Steve can even open his mouth. "We were waiting for you. Steve said he'd explain everything when you got here. " 

His face grows hot when multiple pairs of eyes fall on him expectantly. 

Billy raises an eyebrow as if to say _Go, on pretty boy._

"Fine. Ok." Steve drags his hand through his hair. He could do this. "Asshole over there," he nods to Billy who just smiles. "showed up to get Max and I wasn't about to let him leave with her with all that shit going down. So, we got in a fist fight that ended up with me unconscious and a damn demodog in his lap. The kids _apparently_ filled him in while I was in lala land and threatened him with a bat so he'd let them leave." He knows he's talking a mile a minute but he just wants to get it over with "I wake up in the back of a car with him driving to the damn tunnels." He looks quickly to Nancy when she makes a noise of shock. "I'm sorry. I _tried_ to stop them, Nance, but there was literally _no_ stopping them. You _know_ how they are. Anyway, he helped us set fire to the.. _Hub_ thing.. to distract them so Eleven could close the gate. Then we came back here. That's it. That's the truth." Or the short version of it. He didn't think they needed to know all the gory details. 

A look of realization crosses Hoppers face. "It makes sense now. I wondered why they left at first." He mutters, then turns to Mike. "You've _got_ to stop going out and doing whatever you want, kid. It may get you killed one day." 

"It worked didn't it? " He huffs, not looking the man in the eye. 

_"This time._ You may not be so lucky in the future."

Steve thinks he hears a sniffle but he can't be sure. 

"As for _you,"_ He walks up to Billy's chair. "You better hope Mr Harrington over there doesn't press charges, because I will haul your ass to jail right now, whether you're in on the secrets or not." 

Billy visibly pales, which is a strange thing to witness. Steve had never seen him so rattled. 

" 'm not." Steve clears his throat. "Pressing charges, that is. It's.. It's fine."

Nancy is livid now. "It's not _fine_ Steve. He beat you _unconscious."_

She says it like she was here to witness the whole thing and he finds himself becoming angry. She _hadn't_ been there, she'd been with _Jonathan_. And sure, he'd told her to go. He'd let her off the hook with their relationship drama, but it still fucking stung. 

"No offense, Nance, but it's really not any of your business." She looks like she's been slapped and for a second it feels pretty damn good. "Things wouldn't have turned out like that if the other shit wasn't going on in the background." He doesn't really know _why_ he's defending Hargrove, but the guy looked scared as shit at the prospect of going to jail, and he'd _helped_ protect the kids down there. Stayed to fight with _Steve_. That meant something. "We both got heated. He stopped and I'm fine." 

"You don't have to do that, Harrington." Billy says, his voice softer than he's ever heard it. "They're right. I… I fucked you up real good. I could have done some serious damage." He meets Steve's eyes and he looks _lost_. "So, if you want to press charges, go for it. It's not like I don't deserve it."

Why does everyone around here think they can push him around? "Save it, Hargrove. I'm not that petty. You helped me keep the brats safe. We're even."

A smile tugs at his lips at that, but he still looks incredibly uncomfortable. He glances up at Hopper, "Any chance me and my sister can go home? My old man's already pissed that she's been gone all day. " 

"Sorry, kid." Billy's face falls for a moment and Steve feels like he's missing something. "You all have to stay here while we figure out what the next step is. I need to know _exactly_ what they told you and I'll answer any questions you have. We'll come up with a cover story and _then_ you can go home, got it?"

Billys face is blank now as he puts his cigarette out in the ashtray, muttering, "You got it, Chief."

"Good." He sits across from him. "So, tell me what you _think_ you know. "

Steve leaves them to it. He wants to check on the kids. Make sure they are ok.

They're crowded around Will's bed, talking quietly amongst themselves when he opens the door. Will looks like he's asleep. _Good_. Poor kid needs it. 

Max raises up from her spot by the window. "Are we leaving?" She asks, and he shakes his head. 

Dustin grins, "Steve, man, can you believe our plan _actually_ worked?" 

He puts his hands on his hips. "Yeah, and you little shits owe me. I'm in hot water with Nancy." 

He's not really, but they don't know that. 

"I said I was sorry. It was the only way-" 

"Shut up, Henderson. I'm just glad you're ok."

He beams and Steve wonders how the hell his life had come to this. Watching out for a troop of thirteen year olds and fighting alien like monsters for them. 

Max moves past him and Lucas asks where she's going. 

"Bathroom, " She mumbles, and slips outside. 

Steve sits and listens for a few minutes to Dustin and Lucas talking about taking Will out somewhere fun when he's up for it and how Mike is probably going to be permanently attached to Eleven now. 

Then he realizes Max never came back. 

He excuses himself and heads down the hall. She's leaning against one wall, keeping just out of sight from everyone in the kitchen. "Hey, you ok?" 

She looks startled, then glances at her brother still talking to the Chief and shrugs. "Just confused."

Steve gets it. Billy confuses the shit out of him too. 

"It's just," she continues in a near whisper, "he _protected_ me down there. Saved my life. He _hates_ me. Why would he do that?"

The memory of Billy's bloody crowbar and the sight of him getting Max out of the hole flashes through his mind. "I won't pretend to know what is going on in your crazy brothers head, Max, but I _do_ know what it's like to suddenly be thrown into a life or death situation and chose to protect other people." She doesn't look convinced. "Billy is a total dick, a grade A _asshole_ , but you're still his sister." 

"Step sister," 

"Whatever. My point is, there was no way he would have just let you die. Shitty brother or not." 

She seems to let that digest and nods. "Sorry he broke your face because of me."

"What? _This_ ?" He scoffs, pointing. "This is nothing. _Jonathan_ bruised my eye worse than this last year." And yeah, that's another _fun_ memory. 

She rolls her eyes. "Well, thanks for sticking up for us, anyways. You're not as annoying as Mike said you were." Oh, he was going to _kill_ Mike. "You're alright." 

There's something that flames alive in his stomach at that and he thinks it's incredibly sad that he feels a kinship with all these little shits. 

_Jesus, He needs new friends._

He watches her go back to Will's room and he finds himself sitting in the only available chair in the living room. Jonathan and Nancy are nowhere to be found so he figures they are in his room. He shakes the mental image he gets, of what they are probably _doing_ , and focuses on what's being said in the kitchen. 

Mrs. Byers is wrapping one of Hargroves hands in gauze and Hopper is explaining something about the lab and Eleven. It's stuff Steve already knows, and some stuff he doesn't but he's quickly losing interest. 

Now that everything is finally _calm_ and he knows his kids survived and are safe and warm and _not under the ground_ , he closes his eyes, because, _fuck_ he's tired. He gives up trying to fight it and drifts off to the sound of Billy Hargrove quietly arguing with the Chief about going home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but Steve is so much harder for me to write. 
> 
> Oh, well. Hopefully this chapter wasn't a total disaster. I just needed to set it up for Steve to start going through some emotional trials in future chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes home. It turns out as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Scenes of abuse, physical in nature 
> 
> (Can Neil just be his own trigger warning?)

The sun was just rising above the horizon, casting a pretty pink hue across the sky when Billy _finally_ pulled onto their road. It was like pulling teeth to get them to let him leave. He'd been so focused on what he should tell his dad, he had barely been able to pay attention to what Chief Hopper was telling him about the creepy parallel universe and the girl with blood coming out of her ears.

Not that he wasn't interested in all of it. _Hell,_ it was the single coolest thing that had ever happened in his life, especially since moving to Indiana, but the anxiety had grown stronger as the minutes and then _hours_ crept by. He'd been stuck. There was no excuse he could give, no reasonable explanation as to why he needed to leave. Why it was so fucking important that they should save this conversation for another day. 

Because that was one of the rules that kept him alive. 

_No cops_. 

And _Christ_ , he was lucky Harrington didn't press charges. He didn't know _why_ he'd taken mercy on his ass but he could fucking kiss him for it. Because the only thing that could be worse than being out all night with Max, would be his old man getting the call to bail him out of fucking _jail._ He cringes just thinking about it. Having small town gossip about Neil Hargroves delinquent son getting arrested for battery would damage his _spotless_ _reputation_. But he supposes having a _delinquent_ son was better than having a _fa_ -

_Nope. Not going there._

He stops the car a few houses away, not quite ready to face his father. He's in unfamiliar territory here. He's never had a face off with Neil in front of Max. He can't predict what will happen. He can't predict a goddamn _thing,_ and that is what scares him the most. 

"Billy?" Max gives him a confused look and he swallows hard. 

"Listen, Max, I know the Chief has a cover story for us, alright. But that won't mean shit to my Dad." The fear creeps up his throat once the words are actually out. _Shit._ " _I'll_ talk to him. You just go straight to your room and stay there." 

"But-" 

"Just do what I say _for once_ in your _goddamn_ life, Maxine!" He snaps, cutting her off. 

Her lip quivers but it just seems to piss him off. 

He _knows_ she doesn't get it. Doesn't understand the seriousness of the situation. The only thing she knows for certain is that Neil _yells_ at him and occasionally dishes out some weird ass punishments, but she's never witnessed him getting _physical_ with Billy before. His dad makes sure she's gone or waits until nightfall when she's asleep. It's worked until now, but he has a bad fucking feeling that if she doesn't high tail it to her room when they get inside, that may be about to change. 

" _Shit_. I'm-" He's what? _Sorry_ ? He's not fucking sorry. She needs to _understand. "_ We've never been this late before, he's going to be extra pissed off and I dont'- " _Know what will happen. "_ just.. go to your room. Understand?" 

She still doesn't look like she quite gets it, but she whispers, "I understand."

"Great." He pulls back onto the road. "Let's just get this over with, then." 

_Just get it over with._

He nearly slams on the breaks when Harrington's voice echoes in his head. He can't think about that now. He needs to mentally prepare himself to deal with whatever punishment his dad decides to give him. He can't be thinking of Harrington's blood on his knuckles, the sharp contrast of blue and purple against his pale skin, the smell of gasoline and sweat, or even the sound of his soft snoring when they'd left.

Those thoughts were dangerous. 

They both get out of the car, and he knows their parents had to have heard them pull up. He grabs Max's elbow, "Straight there." He hisses, because he wants to make sure she does it. He doesn't need a fucking audience. 

The house is quiet when he opens the door, but the air is heavy with tension. His father was probably waiting for him in his room. Which was fine. He wouldn't have to move very far afterwards if that was the case. 

They barely make it to the hallway when his door opens, _here we go._

"Do you have any idea what _time_ it is, _boy_?" He asks. His voice is calm but Billy can hear the deadly undertone. He feels sick. 

"Yes, sir," He replies, shoving Max towards her room. She looks back at him but hurries through her door. 

His father's eyes follow the movement and it looks like he's going to take a step and address her, so Billy clears his throat, bringing the attention back to him. 

"So, mind telling me why it took you _all night_ to find your sister?" He takes a look at Billy's disheveled appearance. "Make a couple _pit stops,_ along the way?" 

So, he's still going on about that? _Fucking fantastic._

"No, sir." He answers slowly, "I looked for her all night. Finally found her a couple of hours ago with the Chief. She'd been playing some kind of hiding game in the woods today with her friends. Saw something she shouldn't have. They were taking her statements." 

Suddenly, there's hands fisted in his shirt and he's being slammed into the wall hard enough that the picture next to his face rattles. "You want me to believe the _police_ had her and didn't contact us?"

 _Keep it together. Remember the cover._ "Everyone in this town knows who we are. Word got 'round that I was lookin for her. They let me take her home."

"Did they now?" There it is again, the threatening tone beneath the guise of calm, and he tries to stomp down the fear when he hears it. 

_This is so stupid,_ Billy thinks. Hours ago he was face to face with rows of fucking _teeth._ He'd felt so powerful then, like he could take on anything, so why were his legs shaking now? Why was his heart hammering away in his chest? Why was he so _weak?!_

"Yeah- uh, yes, sir." _Stupid. He's so stupid._ He searches his father's face, trying to gauge whether or not he believes him. It's not looking good. 

_"You never were good at lying,"_ He seethes finally, and pain explodes in his gut where a fist connected. 

The air is pulled out of his lungs as he tries to brace himself for whatever else his old man is going to do. Because he knows more is coming. It _always_ does.

He's slammed against the wall again, head bouncing off of it this time as his father sneers in his face. 

He feels a bit dizzy.

"Tell me where you _were._ No lies!" 

It won't _matter_ what Billy says. He knew that before he stepped foot in the house. His father had already planned on putting him in his place. Maybe had it planned before he sent him out to look for Max. He could say _anything_ at this point and it would be the wrong answer. 

"Not… not lying." He says, willing his voice not to waver. "It's the _truth_." 

Searing hot pain blooms across his face and yeah, that's definitely going to bruise. 

"Let's try this _again_." 

He grits his teeth, ready for the impact, and wishing he wasn't so close to Max's door. He hopes she can't hear the sound of the hit or the noise that escapes his mouth before he can choke it down. 

The phone rings and he's violently shoved backwards as his dad stalks into the kitchen to answer it. 

Billy doesn't move. He hasn't been _dismissed_ yet. 

"This is him." It's his professional voice now. No trace of malice to be found."Oh, Chief Hopper. Yes, my children were just telling me what happened. We appreciate you being so kind and understanding to Maxine." 

_Fake. It's all fucking fake._

"Yes, I'll be sure to let you know if she remembers anything else. Of course. Thank you." The call ends with a click. 

Then his father appears in front of him once more, grabbing Billy's face and forcing him to meet his eyes. "I don't know how you did it, but you got lucky this time." He lets go and Billy thinks maybe it's finally over. 

He's wrong.

As a parting gift, his legs are swept out from under him and he lands hard, blinking up at at Neil's stern face as his wrist throbs from having to catch himself.

Jesus, Give me a break, _fuck._

 _"_ I'm going out." Neil says without looking at him. "Keep a better eye on your sister, or next time I won't go so easy on you."

Billy swallows. "Yessir."

Once the front door slams he closes his eyes and leans back against the hallway wall, collecting himself. His head hurts and he's just so damn _tired._ maybe that's why he's less composed than normal, and It's _pathetic_ really, that his eyes feel _hot_ like tears are threatening to spill. His father _had_ gone easy on him this time. This was _nothing._

A door opens and he lolls his head to the side, fully expecting Susan to show her stupid cowardly face and scurry past him into the kitchen- it's not Susan staring at him with blue eyes wide and frightened and suddenly full of _understanding._

_Max. Fuck._

"Billy?" Her voice cracks and he feels like _shit,_ because he had hoped she hadn't heard. He'd always wanted her to fucking realize what was happening, but not like this. 

"It's fine, Max. Go back to your room." 

_Please leave. I don't want you to see me like this. Go away._

But she doesn't. She kneels by his side, reaching out to him. 

"Don't.touch.me." He hisses, because he really, _really_ doesn't want to be touched right now, especially by her. 

She pulls her hand back and he doesn't have to see her face to know she's upset. Her perception of the family dynamic may have just changed forever. 

"I didn't- " _Know._

 _Yeah._ He's fucking aware. 

"Stop. I'm fine." He stands up slowly, just in case it's worse than he thought, but everything seems to be in working order. 

"But-shouldn't we _tell_ some-" 

He glares at her and she goes silent. He doesn't really have the energy to fight with her right now, but he grabs her wrist and pulls her closer anyway, mimicking the cold tone of his father as he says, "Keep your mouth shut about this, you hear me? Don't go running and telling your little nerd friends, or Chief Hopper or anyone. Got it?" He squeezes slightly for emphasis. 

"Yeah, shit. I won't say anything, asshole. Let go." She's laying the bravado on thick, but he can tell she's scared. 

Good, she needs to be. Because she won't survive long in this house now without a healthy dose of fear. 

  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve must be dreaming, because he couldn't possibly be having a heart to heart with Billy Hargrove. 
> 
> Still unbeta'd because I suck.

Steve wakes up with a gasp, knitted blanket falling to the floor as he jerks forward, almost tumbling off the chair he's apparently fallen asleep on. He can't remember his dream, just the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach it left in its wake. 

He blinks a few times before taking in his surroundings. He is still in the Byers living room, but he's alone. He panics for a moment before he remembers that they aren't dead. That they kicked the monsters asses _again._ For the _last_ time. 

He bends over to pick up the blanket that someone had thrown over him and winces. 

_Fuck_ , it feels like he's been hit with a _truck_. He groans in pain and hears a faint shuffling in the kitchen. 

Mrs. Byers appears a moment later with a cold compress, a couple tylenol and a hot cup of coffee. "Here you, go." 

"Thanks." 

"How you feeling?" 

"Like I was in a bull fight. "

"Well, hopefully it will get better when the meds kick in. You've had a long night. You can stay here as long as you want." 

Now that his life isn't in danger there's nothing to distract him from the fact that Nancy had- well, he'd really rather not. "Um, thanks for the offer, but I should probably go home." 

"Ok, I'll just get Jonathan to drive you to your car." 

_Yay._

They drive in silence for a good five minutes before Jonathan speaks, "So, Nancy and I..we were talking and we think we need to talk about Hargrove." 

Oh, _Nancy and him_ . That's right. They are a _couple_ now. He's not _bitter._ He's _not._

He heaves an irritable sigh. "No, we really don't." 

"Steve, you look like shit. " 

"Gee, _thanks,_ Jonathan, you really know how to make a guy feel pretty." 

"That's not-" He seems flustered, "Mike told us he almost killed you. I don't understand why you let him off the hook."

Sure, he maybe could have killed him had he kept going… but he _stopped_ . "Funny enough, it's none of _your_ business. And if we want to bitch about pressing charges, I didn't have _you_ arrested last year either, or did you conveniently forget that?" 

"That's different," He mumbles, eyes still trained ahead. 

" _Not really, man._ " It comes out harsher than intended, but dammit, he's pissed. "Like I get it. You and Nance know he's had it out for me since he got here, but you weren't there during the fight and he ended up helping me. Jesus, I'm not singing the guys praises, but he's in the _circle_ now whether we want him to be or not. I just don't see what good it would do to keep giving him reasons to fight us."

"He's dangerous." 

Yeah? And so are _they_. "We've all killed monsters, Jonathan."

And that seems to shut him up, because he doesn't say another word until he tells Steve goodbye before he pulls away from the curb. 

Steve climbs in and rests his bruised face against the steering wheel. Finally, he's alone and he isn't running for his life and he isn't ignoring the ache in his chest and he's tired and it's all just _bullshit_ isn't it? 

He feels the pin pricks in his eyes and doesn't even try to stop the tears from falling. 

It's _bullshit._

* * *

  
When he leaves Monday morning he feels strange. Last week he was picking up Nancy and taking her to school. He was pressing her up against her locker and sharing kisses while she threaded her hands in his hair. He was thinking about taking his dad's job offer. He was planning their _future_. 

But now? _Now,_ he's pulling into the school lot alone, after only getting two hours of sleep because he keeps seeing floating particles and hearing growls whenever he lays down. He's trying not to let the feeling of failure and loss overcome him. 

"Yo, Steve!" He hears Tommy before he sees him. "What happened to your face, man? Hargrove do that?" 

Wow. The rumor mill is up and atem pretty early today. "What makes you think that?" 

"Cuz he's walking around sportin a good shiner too." 

Steve doesn't remember Billy's face bruising to badly before he left. Maybe it just took some time to show up. "I guess you got your answer then." He shrugs. 

"Hah, looks like I won the bet then." 

His brow furrows, which tugs on the stitches he'd gotten the day before at the clinic. "What bet?" 

"The team had an ongoing bet for how long it took you and Hargrove to fight. And another one for who won."

He wishes this surprised him, but it really doesn't. "Bet against me, huh?" 

"Sorry, man. You've seen him. Dude works _out_. " 

Yeah, fair enough. Steve knows he's lacking in the muscle department. 

Tommy smacks him on the back, "See ya in class!" 

Everyone seems to know about the fight already. He wonders how long it will take for news to spread that Nancy Wheeler broke up with _Steve Harrington_ for Jonathan Byers. 

Turns out, everyone knows by third period. 

_Great._

* * *

Lunch is a sad affair. He doesn't want to sit with Tommy and the rest of his crew, and his stomach feels a little queasy at the thought of sitting with Nancy and Jonathan. _Maybe_ , _eventually_ he'd be fine with it, he _needs_ to be fine with it, but today? It's just too raw.

So, he skips the lunch tray and just grabs an apple and a drink and plants himself at the table in the back corner of the cafeteria, closest to the exit. He slowly chews and tries not to think about anything. 

Not his future. Not Nancy. Not dark windey tunnels that led to demodogs. Not the aching loneliness he felt when he returned home to an empty house. 

He puts his head in his hands. It's impossible _not_ to think about it all. Everything just seemed to happen so fast, it feels like emotional whiplash. 

Steve only looks up when something heavy drops down into the seat next to him, - or should he say _someone_. 

"What do you want, Hargrove. " He's not in the mood for their usual back and forth today. He wants to brood in peace. 

"Just thought I'd stop by and see how our King is doing." He says, leaning back in his chair. "By the looks of it, he's missing his little Queen." He takes a drink of his coke and smiles. "It's just too bad she ran off with the Jester."

_Really? This is what he wants to do right now?_

"Your _concern_ is appreciated, but I'm fine." 

The laid back smile on the boys face vanishes and he's staring at Steve with an intensity that almost makes him uncomfortable. Like he can see right _through_ him. "Harrington, your chick left you for fuckin _Byers._ You're not fine."

And this is the second weirdest thing that has happened between them to date. "I just don't see why you care?" 

"I don't." He insists and looks away as he continues. "But...I kinda lost it the other night. I took it too far and fought dirty. Then you turned around and helped me out when you could have sent me packing, so I figure letting you vent about Wheeler is the least I could do." 

That _'s_ not what he was expecting. 

_"_ Is this your way of apologizing for knocking me out? That's so sweet, Hargrove. "

He doesn't say anything, just glares at him. But he doesn't take back his invitation to vent and he doesn't get up to leave, so Steve thinks, _why not?_

"Thanks, man. I just.. We had _plans…_ or _I_ had plans. For a minute I thought she was _the one_ , ya know? Marriage, kids, white picket fence? I _wanted_ that for us." And holy shit is he having a fucking heart to heart with Billy Hargrove right now? 

"You _would be_ a closet romantic. Is that why you got all soft? You _fell in love? "_ He scoffs at that, like the very notion that love exists amuses him. "Or were you always like that? Just _hiding_ behind King Steve? " 

Steve pauses. No one has ever asked him that before. If he'd been pretending. He's not sure he really knows the answer. 

"I...no, I really was a fucking asshole. Before Nancy, I didn't have long term girlfriends. I hooked up. I partied. I flashed my parents wealth around and didn't give a fuck who I hurt as long as I got my way." He thinks the blond could relate to most of that. "But Nancy… she was different. Made me want to be different. And after the shitshow last year, my priorities kind of changed."

"Wow, her pussy made of gold or something?" He asks with a smirk, and Steve kind of wants to punch him. This was supposed to be about venting, but he's saying things that make Steve _defensive._

" _No._ She's a _good girl._ She cares about people and always wants to do the right thing. It just kind of rubbed off on me, I guess."

Billy is quiet for a minute then comes back with, "What I don't get, is all this talk about what a _good person_ she is and how _kind_ and _caring_ ," He's mocking him now, "but isn't _she_ the one that ran out on _you?"_

Why does he have to point that shit out? Steve is _trying_ not to think about it. 

"Yeah, ok. Maybe she did. The lines are blurry. She thought we were broken up and I thought...i thought it was just a bad fight...but they...they have this… this… _connection_ and I _saw_ it. I _knew_ it was there, but I just tried to ignore it, so I can't really blame them it that it ended up like this." 

Hargrove frowns at that. "Uh, yeah you fucking can. She didn't just _accidentally_ trip and fall on his dick."

"Yes, thanks for that visual," He mutters. " _Look_ I get how... _pathetic_ this makes me look, ok? But under the circumstances, I can't really afford to have a falling out with them." 

"Why the hell not? " 

He could brush the question off and make flimsy excuses, but for some reason he feels the urge to be truthful. Who's Billy going to tell? 

So, Steve glances around to see if anyone is close enough to hear them, and when he's satisfied they are in the clear he leans closer to Billy and lowers his voice. "Only so many people know about the shit that goes bump in the night, about tunnels that lead to _hell_ and the labs that experiment on fucking _kids_. Only so many people _understand_ what I see when I close my eyes at night. Nancy and Jonathan? _They_ _get it._ If I lose them, I'll probably lose my fucking mind. So _that's_ why I need to be the bigger person,- to give them the benefit of a doubt that it wasn't a calculated thing. I need to believe it just _happened_ because they couldn't help themselves. I need to suck it up and move on, because _no one else_ understands."

And wow… it feels kind of good to say it out loud. Even if he does sound kind of like a basket case. He's had a hard week, sue him. 

" _Damn_ , Harrington," He whistles, "they fucked you up good, man." 

"Yeah, tell me about it." 

"You're wrong about one thing, though." He continues, standing up to leave. Then he gives Steve a look that he can't quite place before he says, "They aren't the only ones that can relate. I was in those tunnels too." 

And then he's gone. Like a fucking ghost and Steve is left wondering if it had really happened at all. 

* * *

Later that day he pulls up to the middle school. Apparently he's Henderson's chauffeur now. Not that he has anything _better_ to do with his time. His life is a _joke_. 

Dustin is quiet when he slides into the passenger side. At first he gives the kid a break. They've all been through hell and if he wants to keep it to himself, that's fine. But when he doesn't respond to Steve asking about Will he feels the need to step in, because that's just not normal. 

"Alright, out with it. " 

"Out with what? " 

"With whatever is making you act like _that_ , " He motions vaguely. 

"Sorry. It's...nothing really. Just Lucas is worried about Max." 

"Why? " 

"He said she sounded weird on the walkie yesterday. And today she hardly talked to any of us." 

"Maybe she's sick. Coming down with the flu or something. " 

"Or _maybe_ her brother is being a dick again."

Steve thinks back on their conversation earlier.

 _I was in those tunnels too_. 

"I don't know, man. He practically apologized for hitting me today at lunch. " 

That gets a reaction."You're shittin me?"

"Well, I mean, he didn't actually say the words _I'm sorry for wrecking your face, Steve_ but the intent was there." 

"Wow. Wish I could have seen _that_." 

"Yeah, so I'm hopeful that he won't be kicking my ass again any time soon. And don't worry about Max, ok? She'll come around." 

The boy smiles, "Hey, Steve? " 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." 

Dammit. The warmth of gratitude hits him unexpectedly. 

So, maybe his life's not a _total_ joke. 

He nods his head and continues down the road. "No problem, Henderson."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just throwing it out there, the Harringrove will be slow moving. At this point Steve just got his heart broken and as far as he knows, he's straight. 
> 
> I like my relationships to be believable within the timeline. So, if you're not into slow burn, turn away now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max has a few realizations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd as usual. 
> 
> If you spot something feel free to point it out. I don't shy away from constructive criticism.

Billy doesn't really know why he decides to sit with Harrington at lunch. 

Seeing him moping around and pining after Wheeler just left a bad taste in his mouth. He looked tired as hell and his hair was even fucking floppy. 

And ok, maybe seeing how bad the bruises look make him feel like more than just an asshole. He can't make things _right_ , but the least he can do is _try_ to get along with him considering that he's now part of their little fucked up government conspiracy bullshit club. He figures it wouldn't be a bad thing to be able to talk without getting into a brawl. 

Even though a part of him _really_ aches to have another fight with him. A fair one, of course, because he seriously enjoys seeing King Steve in action. He'll just have to find some other way to see it. 

What Harrington tells him about Wheeler pisses him off. Not that he's best friends with the guy, but fuck. She had obviously broken the bastards heart and he doesn't even feel like he has the right to be mad at her. He feels like he _needs_ them so he wants to just push his feelings to the side in order to remain in their circle. 

It's fucking fucked up.

And what he says about the tunnels, alluding to nightmares, wanting someone, anyone to understand? That shit resonates with Billy. There were times in the past that he _longed_ for someone to talk to, someone to share his fears with. Someone to understand what he was going through at home. He feels bad for Harrington. 

He must be going soft because he leaves the lunch table with a subtle offer and he hopes he'll take it. Not just because he feels like helping the guy, but because with all this Upside Down bullshit, Billy may need someone to talk to too. 

He gets a few odd stares when lunch ends, and yeah, it must look weird as fuck to see the two guys who beat the shit out of eachother over the weekend having a nice chat, but he doesnt really care what they think. He has bigger issues to worry about. Like all the damn paperwork Chief Hopper needs him to sign, or how he's going to stay out of his father's crosshairs the rest of the week. 

Then there's Max. 

She's been acting fucking weird since _that_ morning. He gets that she's probably shook up or something, but the way she's been avoiding eye contact with everyone and responding to Susan in clipped tones isn't going to help anyone. In fact, it's making him a little nervous, if only because his father seems to be getting annoyed with her attitude. 

She's barely touching her food and asks to be excused, which never happens. She's the only one that actually _enjoys_ her mom's cooking. He thought she was just feigning an illness so she wouldn't have to deal with the awkward as fuck silence they had going on at the table, but then he'd heard her puking when he'd been heading to his room. 

Maybe she really _was_ sick. 

He didn't think too much about it until he heard muffled crying. His Dad and Susan were watching their shows so they wouldn't be able to hear her. 

He'd usually ignore her and turn his stereo up to drown out her annoying cries, but he was feeling generous today. Maybe she needed a doctor or something? 

He puts out his cigarette and closes his Algebra II book before making his way to her room. He raps on her door with the knuckles of his good hand. 

"Hey, shitbird, you alright in there?" 

He doesn't expect her to actually answer him, so he is surprised when she flings her door open and bursts out in tears. 

_What the fuck?_

Max hardly ever cries in front of him. "What's with the waterworks? You really sick? Want me to get your ma?" 

She shakes her head, crying a little harder when she says, "I'm so _sorry,_ Billy. It's all my fault." 

Well, that's not what he thought she'd say, and this could go sideways pretty fast. 

"What are you talking about," He asks, trying to keep his composure. This doesn't necessarily have to be about what she witnessed. It could be something completely different. 

"The reason we left Cali. The _accident_ ." She says, and his stomach sinks. "It's _my fault."_

His heart quickens in his chest, because there's no way she knows the truth about the accident. Unless the reason she'd been so quiet the last two days was because she was putting it all together. 

_Shit._ She can't be talking about that here, out in the _open_ fucking hallway with his _dad_ in the other room. Is she _trying_ to get him killed? 

If she didn't look so damn upset he'd be more pissed off at her carelessness. But for some reason the tear tracks down her face and her red rimmed eyes make his chest hurt a little this time. She looks fucking miserable. And Harrington's bleeding heart must be fucking contagious, because instead of shoving her away and telling her to fuck off, he hurries into her room so they can talk without his father hearing a thing. 

* * *

  
It had been a bad day for Max. She'd been a total bitch to her friends and had hardly said two words to Lucas all day. She couldn't bring herself to, because all she wanted to talk about was how she'd found out why her brother was such an insufferable dick head. 

But she couldn't. He'd told her _not_ to, and now she knew the consequences that could happen if she ignored his warnings. So, she kept to herself, trying desperately to forget it ever happened. 

Now she was sitting at her dinner table, staring down at her plate, pushing the overcooked broccoli around with her fork but not making a move to actually eat it. 

"Aren't you hungry, sweetie? " Her mother asks, and no. She's not freaking hungry. 

They're all just _sitting here_ , eating dinner like Billy's face isn't bruised up and that his dad isn't the one that did it. 

Billy squints at her and kicks her under the table. "Sorry, mom." She mumbles, "I think I'm getting sick." She's getting sick alright. Sick of the act they've all got going on. Including herself. "May I be excused? I think I need to lay down." 

Her mom nods, "Of course. Get some rest. I'll come check on you later, ok?" 

Yeah. Sure. Whatever. 

She scrapes her plate and puts it in the sink before heading to her room. She can feel her brother's heavy stare until she disappears from his line of sight. 

Max closes the door and sinks down against it. It's been two days. Two days since she'd finally understood what Billy had been trying to tell her when he got pissed at her for being late, for sneaking off, for hanging out with Lucas. He wanted her to _think_ about her actions, yelled and cursed when she didn't and since moving to Indiana, she'd been really scared of him. Of his anger and hostility. She hadn't understood _why_ he seemed to hate her so much. But she gets it now. She really freaking gets it. 

She wipes her face with the back of her sleeve. 

He'd been paying for her mistakes hadn't he? She was so _stupid_. This whole time… how long had Neil been hurting him? Had it started when they moved? Had it been happening before that? 

She swallows down the vomit that surges up her throat when she remembers the night he'd been in the hospital. 

It was a couple of months before they left. Her mom had picked her up early from Dana's house because Billy had been _hurt._ They'd told her he'd been in a car accident with his friend. 

But it was a lie wasn't it? 

Neil had done it. And _shit_ , it had been the same day she'd mentioned Billy's friend Matthew was looking for him. She'd never seen his face so panicked and angry before. She'd been afraid that he could snap her neck with the weight of the glare he'd leveled her with. She didn't get it at the time, why he'd looked at her like that, eyes gleaming with betrayal and hate. 

But now that she really thinks about it, she's heard the names his dad calls him. She just thought Neil was being a jerk, but that wasn't it, was it? He really thought Billy was… and if that was true then Mathew… 

She scrambles up and flings the door open, making a b line to the bathroom where she empties her stomach of its feeble contents. She rests her head on the arm slung across the toilet seat, trying to breathe. 

It makes so much damn sense. Why he was so pissed all the time. Why he always insisted it was _her_ fault they had to move, even though Neil had stated it was because _Billy_ was getting into too much trouble and they should get away from her dad. Killing two birds with one stone. 

But that wasn't the whole truth, was it? 

They left because Billy was with a boy and she'd fucking outed him, hadn't she? Unknowingly, but… 

She dry heaves again, the weight of her guilt making her stomach twist. 

If she had known… she would never have said anything. If she'd known where all his bruises from "fighting" _really_ came from, she would have listened to him more. How did she not see it before? Was she just that naive? Neil never yelled at _her_ but she knew he yelled at Billy a lot and there were a couple of times she heard things breaking, but she'd always assumed it was her brother getting pissed off and throwing a fit like a child. 

It's so damn clear to her now that it had been _Billy_ crashing into things. All the sounds and fighting she'd been hearing lately…was it like that every time the two of them had one of their _talks_? How many times had Neil gotten angry and her mom suddenly had errands to run, nearly dragging her out of the house? She just thought her mom was uncomfortable with hearing the two of them go at it. 

Now she knows the truth. 

Her mom had known, and she hadn't wanted Max to know. Her mom had just been letting it happen! Was she just trying to protect Max? But why not protect Billy too? He hadn't always been such an asshole to them. They'd gotten along at first so why did her mom just let him get hurt like that? Did Neil hit her too? Was that why? 

The questions keep spinning around in her head and she's queasy again. She scrubs at her eyes and washes her hands, wanting to get back to her room, crawl under her covers and never come out. She feels like total garbage. 

She's been laying on her bed, crying and staring out the window for what seems like hours when there's a knock on her door. 

"Hey, shitbird, you alright in there?" 

She rushes to open her door and when she sees him she bursts into tears again. 

His brow furrows."What's with the waterworks? You really sick? Want me to get your ma?"

She shakes her head and just says, "I'm so _sorry_ , Billy. It's all my fault." 

He looks confused. "What are you talking about?" 

"The reason we left Cali. The _accident_. It's my fault." 

Realization replaces the questions in his eyes. "Max." He says and then glances over his shoulder before ushering her inside and shutting the door. "You don't.. You don't know what you're talking about. " 

"Yes, I do. I keep going over _everything_ that's happened in the last year. You weren't in a car accident back then were you? " 

He's quiet for a few beats before he sighs, "No, I wasn't in a car accident." 

"It was your dad." She says, as if she needs to say it. 

He nods once. 

"He did that because of _me_."

A strange look crosses his features. "What do you mean? " He asks slowly. 

" _Matthew_ , " She whispers, suddenly terrified that Neil could hear her from across the house. Billy seems terrified too. "I mentioned that he was looking for you, but I didn't… I didn't realize-" 

His eyes widen and he hisses, " _Shut up_ , " 

She keeps talking anyway. Now that the words have started, they don't seem able to stop. "I've _heard_ what he calls you, Billy. I just never put it together."

" _Max_." He warns and steps toward her, hand reaching out to grab her wrist. 

"He put you in the fucking _hospital_." She chokes on a sob and takes a step back. "Because I was oblivious and said something I shouldn't have." 

He shakes his head, letting his hand drop in defeat. "It was bound to happen eventually, whether or not you said anything." 

It's like he's just stating a fact. Like he'd been expecting it long before it happened "What-" then that means. "He was hitting you before that, wasn't he?" 

"I'm not having this conversation." 

"How long?" 

"It doesn't fucking matter." 

"But I made it worse."

He doesn't respond, just stares at her, chewing his bottom lip. The silence stretches on and she sniffs, trying to keep the snot from dripping down her face. Finally he says, "Yeah, Max, you made it worse, but it's not like he can't make up some other excuse to lay into my ass. Don't feel too special."

"I'm still sorry about it." She insists quietly, but it's not enough. There's so much more she wants to ask, so much more she wants to apologize for, but he's been trying to shut her down from the moment she opened her mouth. 

"It's fucking _fine_. I'm not… fuck, it's whatever. You know now. So, just don't make it harder for me."

She can at least do that. "I won't. I promise." 

"And I swear to God, if you ever say anything about-" 

"I know. I know. You'll kick my ass." 

The joke falls flat and they both look away from each other. He turns to leave but pauses with his hand on the door knob. 

"One more thing." He says, voice serious. 

"Yeah?" 

"If he ever- I don't think he will, but if he puts his hands on you- come to me, ok?" 

Is he actually worried that Neil might start in on her? "Billy-" 

"It's not a big deal. Just…let me deal with it if it ever comes to that."

"Fine." She mutters, and he must be satisfied with her answer because he slips out the door and a few minutes later she hears the engine of the camaro coming to life and speeding away from the house. 

She doesn't blame him for running away from her, if she were in his shoes, she would too. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for the supportive comments and kudos. I'm really shocked by how well received this fic has been so far. 
> 
> I hope you all continue to enjoy it as it progresses 
> 
> Also, I decided to add a few other character POV's here and there because in the show, you get vital information from the different POV's and it will be the same for this fic. Most chapters will still be heavily Steve and Billy, but others will appear from time to time. Hopefully, that doesn't bother anyone. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy has a mini freak out and sees the one person that could possibly make it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for homophobic slurs

Billy doesn't have a destination in mind when he tears down the street like a bat out of hell. 

He was fucking uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. 

_Fuck,_ Max _knows_. 

It was one thing for her to know about his dad hitting him, but this? He never thought she'd start putting it all together, about him and Matty. About what he _is._ He'd always kept it a secret from her. He'd kept it a secret from nearly _everyone_ . He'd known since before his mother left that he _maybe_ liked boys, but he knew better than to act on those feelings. He'd heard his dad and his Army buddies talking about _those fucking fairy freaks_ and how they had no business _breathing_ , enough times to know his ass would be grass if he let it slip. His father had already started teaching him _respect and responsibility_ by then, so he didn't want to risk his ire. 

But once he hit puberty, it was harder to ignore. Sure, he lost his virginity to a neighbor girl when he was fourteen years old, but then the next sexual encounter he had was with one of the local highschool queers beneath the bleachers during lunch. It was an exchange of sloppy blow jobs that ended embarrassingly quick, but it was enough to cement the fact that, _yeah_ , he was a fucking queer alright. His dick had been harder while choking on the older boys cock than it had been when he'd been _literally_ fucking his neighbor. 

It had made him sick at first, disgusted with himself for being such an abomination. How could he actually _like this?_ Why did he keep thinking about muscular bodies and sweat soaked hair? Why did he want to spend his days at the ocean just to watch the surfers running up and down the beach, salt water glistening on their tanned skin? It was _wrong._ But it also felt _so good._

He'd experimented a few times after that but then the fear set in and he became pretty fucking terrified that his dad would know by just looking at him. So, he kept his male sexual partners a secret. All back room romps, and backseat hand jobs. 

Until Matty. 

And that had happened because he'd been _sloppy_. Not because Max had said something. He'd gotten too comfortable. He'd gotten away with it for too long so he'd stopped being careful. He'd let himself lean against Matthew outside of school, walk close to him and flirt at the movie theatre. Yeah, Max may have opened her mouth at the _wron_ g goddamn time, but Neil had already been questioning him about his _friend._ He'd _heard_ rumors. He'd become suspicious. 

_Who is the boy you've been running around town with? The flamboyant one. James said he saw you two whispering to each other outside the convenience store like a pair of girls. Was this kid a fucking fairy? He was, wasn't he? James said he looked like he sucked cock. Why was Billy hanging out with a faggot? Was that piece of shit fucking him? Was he a faggot too_ ? _He didn't raise his only son to like it up the ass. So he better not find out that he has a fucking faggot living under his roof._

He'd been able to wrangle out of most of his accusations, and Neil had been appeased for awhile, but then Max had said Matthew had come around _looking_ for him, so that _must_ mean that Billy was a _liar_ and that he was letting a fag fuck him. And ok, yeah, they had been fucking around but it wasn't really about that with Matty. He actually _liked_ him. He was his _friend_ first and foremost, but his dad had been relentless, and the more Billy denied it, the angrier he became. And then… 

His hands grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. _He doesn't want to think about it._

And he needs a fucking cigarette. He'd left his pack at home in his rush. 7/11 it is, then. 

He thought it was safe to assume that his father, and probably Susan, were the only one that knew, but Max had figured it out. She hadn't looked _disgusted_ by the revelation, though. In fact, she seemed more upset at having been the source of his misery than the thought of him kissing other boys. She looked fucking _gutted,_ and he _hates_ that. He doesn't need her goddamn pity. 

She doesn't need to worry about _him._ She should be worried about _herself_ , because Neil doesn't have to be careful around her anymore, now that she knows. He doesn't have to hold back lest the golden child find out what a monster her step daddy really is. 

_Fuck._

This complicates everything. They need to watch what they say and do for the next couple of weeks. There's no telling which way this is going to head. He doesn't think Neil would hurt Max, but he can't be positive. He can't be positive about _anything_ anymore. Shit, last week he thought he lived in a normal, -albeit, a little fucked up- world, where the only monsters were in the form of sadistic human beings. 

Nothing is as it should be now. It makes him feel vulnerable and unsteady. How can he prepare himself or gauge his old mans reactions when he doesn't know if they're playing by the same rules anymore? 

Then here Max is, blaming herself for everything when in reality, it's not even her fault. Yeah, he'd been blaming her for all the shit that has happened since moving here, but he realizes now that it was just misplaced anger. Neil would have found any reason. Max was just the convenient scapegoat. 

And _fuck_ , the look she'd given him when she'd apologized...he was such a _dick_ . _He_ was the reason for those tears. He didn't _deserve_ anyone crying over him. He used to get annoyed with her or even revel in making her upset, making her hurt like he was hurting, but now? Things have changed. Maybe it was the life threatening situation they'd found themselves in, or maybe he'd just come to realize some shit after beating the fuck out of Harrington. Either way, he felt _bad_ and he didn't know how the fuck to fix it, if he even could at all. 

He pulls into the 7/11 and slams his door. He'd also left the house without his jacket, so the people in the parking lot get an eye full of him in his cut off shirt and sweatpants, but he couldn't care less at this point. He _needs_ a pack of smokes. He walks by the coolers and stops, grabbing a sprite before heading to the counter. By the time he comes back outside, a familiar beamer pulls into the spot beside him. 

The universe must be out to fuck him, because why else would Harrington show his pretty face here? 

He gets out and gives a little wave. "Hey, man." 

Billy lifts his chin in greeting and opens his pack of Marlboro Reds, putting one between his teeth and searching for his lighter. Then realizes.."Fuck." 

"Here, " Harrington says, flicking a blue Bic in front of his unlit cigarette. 

Billy leans into the flame and inhales. "Thanks," he mumbles, taking a step back. 

"No problem." 

They stand there for a moment, neither saying a word, just silently smoking and staring at each other. Billy thinks this is awkward as fuck, but he feels like Harrington would have went inside if he didn't have anything to say to him. 

"Take a picture, it will last longer, " He says, instead of just asking him what he wants. Billy sucks at this, ok? 

He looks flustered for a second but schools his features quickly. "Can I ask you something?"

Holy shit, why does everyone want to ask him _questio_ ns today? But he supposes he was the one that extended a fucking olive branch to Harrington, so it would be kind of a dick move to ignore him now. 

He takes a drag and exhales, "Shoot."

"Is Max ok?" He says in a rush, like he's worried Billy is going to be angry with him for mentioning her name. 

His stomach bottoms out. "Why the fuck you asking about her?"

"The kids are worried about her." He shrugs, "Dustin said she's not been herself and won't talk to them." 

So, the brat had actually been keeping her promise. Wow. He lifts the bag on his wrist, showing Harrington the sprite in the nearly see through bag. "She's got some kind of stomach bug."

"I _told_ him that was probably the case, but these kids…they always think the world is ending." He gives a small laugh, but it sounds a little forced. 

Billy cocks his head to the side, thinking about the tunnels, the teeth, and the sting of his old man's fist. "Isn't it though?" 

Harrington gives him an appraising look before answering. "It does seem like it, lately, huh?" 

"You think that shit is over? " He asks. They both know what he's talking about. 

"I sure as hell hope it is, but I thought it was over a year ago, so.. "

"At least it keeps things interesting." He'd much rather deal with other dimensional beings than constantly worry about not fucking up some unknown rule at home. 

Harrington laughs again. "Yeah, well, I guess I _was_ important for once. It's nice to feel needed." He says, and then his face shuts down like that wasn't what he'd meant to say at all. 

It's very telling. King Steve obviously has a bunch of fucking hang ups and most of them probably stem from that bitch, Wheeler. 

"Who says you're not important? 

"No one." He replies quickly, looking away. "it's just a feeling I get sometimes." 

"Just because Wheeler can't see a good thing when it's in front of her fucking face doesn't mean it's not still good. " Shit. He is actually giving life advice to Steve fucking Harrington in the parking lot of a 7/11? _And_ he told him he's good and important. What the fuck is he doing? 

Now the other is staring at Billy with a curious expression. That doesn't bode well.

He's preparing himself for a scoff or smart ass comment about him being a fucking softie or something equally as annoying, but it doesn't happen. Instead, Harrington says "Thanks, man." And just gives him this big goofy, genuine _smile_ , and it nearly takes Billy's breath away. It's been a long time since someone has looked at him like _that_. 

Fuck. 

He tries to think of something to say, but he's pretty damn speechless, and he needs to get out of there before he starts blurting out embarrassing shit, so he mutters, "Yeah, whatever, " and stamps out the butt of his cigarette with his shoe. "Gotta get home to the sick kid." He adds because, fuck, he needs to just get out of here, and Harrington nods. 

"See ya at practice."

Billy doesn't say anything else, just gets in his car and leaves the gas station behind. There's too much going on in his head, he doesn't need to complicate things more by thinking about Harrington. He just can't afford to think about him in any way at all. 

So he turns up his radio, smokes another cigarette, and speeds off toward his house, hoping that his father will be passed out by the time he gets there. 

Some wishes do come true, and no one is in the living room when he comes in. He locks the door behind him and heads to his room, stopping only to hang the bag on Max's door and give a small knock before quickly retreating. He doesn't wait around for her to open it, he's not interested in her _thank you's_ or more _I'm sorry's,_ but when he goes to take a shower later, it's not on the handle anymore. So he figures she took his small offering of forgiveness, and that's good enough for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things.
> 
> I know we are going at a snails pace, but it will be worth it. I promise. 
> 
> And I wanted to address something in case anyone thinks Billy and Max's relationship is changing too quickly. I can tell you right now, that I hated my little brother for a long time. He was the favorite and he would get me in trouble and was a total brat, BUT without fail every time my step dad and mom got into it, I would take that little shit on a walk or to the park because I didn't want him to witness them fighting or be in the line of fire. 
> 
> Even though Max causes him a lot of problems and he sometimes hates her, deep down he knows it's not her fault and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. Being in the tunnels just moved things up a bit because she could have died and he realizes what a dick he is being to her. 
> 
> Anyways, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wonders what he's getting himself into by being friends with Billy Hargrove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

Steve pokes at the faded bruise under his eye. It's barely there, all yellowish tan and mostly blending in with the rest of his skin now. He almost wants it to stick around. 

It's the last bit of a physical reminder he has that what happened that night was _real_. Now he'll wake up from the nightmares and stare at himself in the mirror, wondering if he's just gone crazy because there's _no way_ it could possibly be true. Feeling the tug of stitches, the dull ache where Billy's fist had landed, grounded him in a way. It was undeniable _proof._

He knows that his logic is dumb. A whole group of people experienced the same damn thing he did, but when he's alone in this big house with the too large windows, and empty space, where Barb fucking _died,_ he feels like maybe he's the only one that experienced it after all. That maybe he's made the whole thing up to feel like he's a part of something _bigger_. Like he _belongs_ somewhere. Like he's not _bullshit._

He runs his hands through his hair a couple times in frustration.

Like he said. It's fucking _stupid._

He gets dressed but is still trying to get his hair to freaking _lay right_ when he hears a crackle of a radio. 

"Steve, are you there, over?"

Steve rolls his eyes and almost wishes he hadn't gotten a walkie just in case the twerps needed him. They abuse the privilege. 

He leans over and grabs the walkie from his desk. "Yeah, Dustin. What is it?" 

There's a long pause before the boy replies, "You forgot to say _over,_ over."

"Oh my _God, "_ He gripes and presses the button again. "What do you _need,_ Dustin? _Over."_

"Can you take us all to the arcade after AV club? Jonathan is working and Nancy has a school paper she's writing, over." 

_That's_ what he wanted to ask on the emergency line? "Yeah, sure. I'll take you little dip shits to the arcade. Now, buzz off, I'm trying to get ready." 

"Steve you didn't say-

"Over, over, over! " 

He can hear the smile in the kids voice when he says, "Thanks, dude. Over and out! " 

He wants to be annoyed but hell, he can't help but be fond of Henderson. He's never had a sibling so he thinks maybe it feels a little like this. 

He ends up with his hair less than stellar, but it's whatever. Who's he out to impress? Besides, school's still _weird_. He still doesn't feel like he belongs in any clique. He supposes he could easily go back to Tommy H and Carol's crowd if he wanted to, if he went to a party and asserted some kind of _dominance,_ but he just doesn't want to go back to that. Too much has happened for their bullshit to be important to Steve. 

That life was hard to keep up and he's not really in the mood to pretend to be an asshole. He'll leave that to Hargrove, thanks. The role is perfect for him. He doesn't even have to _try._

And despite Hargrove telling him he has every right to be angry with Nance and Jonathan, it had still only taken a week for him to find himself sitting at their table at lunch. He's a damn loser, hanging onto them like a pathetic third wheel, _he knows that,_ but despite everything he still feels better knowing he can go to them if he needs to. Even if it's awkward and a little demeaning. 

He's also been hyper aware of Hargrove since he'd offered him that sliver of friendship, or at least as much of a friendship as the guy was capable of. He sees him all the time now in his peripheral vision, and he's always _so close._ In the hallway, in class, during basketball. Well, he'd _always_ gotten in Steve's space during practice, but it's less antagonistic now, more friendly. Steve can even tell he's coming by the smell of his _cologne._

They don't exactly talk much but when they do it's usually about the kids, some assignment, or the shit that went down. Billy sometimes asks if it was a dream. It's nice to know Steve isn't the only one that's unsure. Sometimes they banter back and forth, and the dude is still a major asshole, but the bite isn't in the insults anymore. It's almost… _nice._

It doesn't feel forced and he doesn't feel like the odd one out when they're together. His chest doesn't tighten like it does when he's with Jonathan and Nancy. He doesn't feel quite like bullshit, because Billy had once told him he was important and _good_ , even if Nance hadn't seen it. He feels like he's on somewhat equal ground with the other boy. Almost prefers his dirty humor and shitty attitude to the suffocating feeling he gets at the lunch table. 

And that's an odd thought. He never would have guessed that he preferred Hargroves company over that of Nancy's, but here he is, and now that the door of sort of friendship has been opened, there's no closing it. 

The kids are talking a mile a minute when be drives them to the other side of town. He stopped trying to follow the conversation five minutes ago. It's not even worth the headache. 

When he pulls up to the curb, they all hop out in a mad dash to the arcade. Well, all of them except Will, who is still sitting in the back staring out the window with an odd look on his face. "Hey, you ok?" 

He shakes his head slowly. "I'm just.. It feels _wrong_ to be here." 

Steve turns the car off and turns his body around to look at him. "What do you mean, Will?" 

"I…I did bad things.. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be happy." 

Oh, man. He is so not qualified for this shit. "Hey, hey. No, that's not true. That _thing,_ it used you, buddy. It wasn't _you_ who did that stuff."

"But _Bob died_." And yeah, there are tears now. Shit. Nancy would probably be better at handling this. "What I did… it killed him. My mom was _happy._ And I… I _liked_ him. We could have been.. But I ruined it." Tears are falling unbidden from his eyes now. 

"Shit." Steve mutters, then scrambles out of his seatbelt and out of the car, running around the other side, and yanking the door open. He kneels in front of the boy who has seen too many things and has been hurt by monsters in ways Steve can't even imagine. He slowly touches his shoulders, thumbs moving up and down in what he hopes is a soothing motion. "Will, hey, listen. Bob would _want_ you to have fun and be happy. He loved you guys right? We always want the best for the people we love."

Sad brown eyes look up at him. "Even if we hurt them?" 

He thinks about Nancy and nods. "Even then." The kid still looks skeptical but at least he's not crying anymore. In the background he can hear the roar of a familiar engine behind him but he continues,"I can't say I know what you're going through, but you have a great mom and brother who love you, and awesome friends that stick by you through everything. Even if you're upset and sad, it's going to be ok. I promise."

Then little Will Byers smiles and dries his face with his sleeve. "Thanks, Steve." 

Steve ruffles his hair. "You better get in there before Mike comes looking for you." The boy nods and runs inside. 

He sees Max rush by him then, and turns his head to meet Billy's shaded gaze. He's got his window rolled down and one arm dangling out, despite it being forty degrees today. He looks at Steve over the rims of his aviators. "What was that about? I thought I was the only one that made little kids cry?" 

Steve rolls his eyes and walks over, decides to lean against the side of the car with an arm bracketed over the driver side door. "The kid's been through a lot. Thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy."

A flash of something sparks in Hargroves eyes. "He's the one that got taken, right? The _zombie boy?"_

Steve can tell he's not trying to be malicious when he says it, so he just nods. "Yeah. And was attached to that… _thing_ . When it.." He leans closer and lowers his voice, " _killed_ people. It used him to do it."

" _Fuck,_ Baby Byers." He says with sympathy and stares at the arcade entrance. "That shit's messed up."

"Yeah. I don't think he wants the others to worry about him. So, he confided in me I guess." 

"Should I start calling you Mama Steve now?" He wiggles his eyebrows. "Gonna start hosting sleepovers and talk about feelings? Tell them how pretty they are?"

He almost points out the fact that _Hargrove_ has called _him_ pretty on more than a few occasions, but decides against it. "Fuck you, Hargrove. Someone has to keep an eye on these dip shits. They get themselves in way too much trouble." 

The blond tilts his head back against the headrest and sighs. "Ain't that the damn truth."

Now that he's this close to him, he can see a dark spot blooming along his jaw line that definitely hadn't been there before. "Get in a fight with someone?" He asks. 

Hargrove's hand snaps up to cover his jaw. "Uh, yeah." He mutters, "Hit on the wrong girl and got a bit too mouthy with her old man."

It's a likely story, but he doesn't know if he really believes him or not. But regardless, Steve realizes that he's set himself up for a damn good response. 

He smirks down at him. "Your mouth get you in trouble a lot, Hargrove?" 

A dark look passes over his face and Steve thinks he sees his eyes flick down to his lips for a second before retaining eye contact. "More times than I can count, Harrington." He replies, his voice suddenly coming out gruff. 

And _fuck._ Why does that make him shudder? 

"You uh-" He clears his throat and tries to get rid of the heat creeping up to the tips of his ears. "should probably work on that then." Jesus, he's so fucking _lame._

Billy laughs. "I don't know. Sometimes it's the _fun_ kind of trouble." 

Steve watches intently as he puts a cigarette between his lips. "I'm sure it is."

He adjusts his glasses and lights it up. takes a few hits and looks like he's struggling with himself for a moment before he breaks the silence. "Hey, Harrington?" 

Steve snaps his eyes up from where he'd been watching the boy exhale. "Yeah?"

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks, eyes clear and voice serious. "Baby Byers isn't the only one that deserves to be happy." And it's weird because Billy _actually_ listens when Steve speaks, and he doesn't seem like the type to do that. "We can do something fun if you're up for it?"

"Like what?" He asks slowly, because he's not exactly sure what kind of _fun_ Billy Hargrove wants to get into right now. 

Hargrove just grins. "I _may_ have a joint with your name on it, if you're interested, that is. "

Oh, yeah. Steve is _definitely_ interested in that. It's been way too long since he's gotten high with Tommy. "Fuck, yes." He replies enthusiastically. "Hold on just a sec."

Without another thought, he locks up the Beamer and jumps into the Camaro, barely getting his seatbelt on before Billy peels out onto the main road. 

Hargrove's music is loud, the sounds of the guitar riffs make him vibrate in his seat, and he drives _entirely_ too fast, but it feels good. Like he's alive. Billy is drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and tells him where the pot and papers are so Steve can start rolling a joint.

He does what he's told and it's almost surreal. He can't imagine what the kids would say if they knew what he was doing while they played games, but right now, he really doesn't care. His parents are never home, he's down a girlfriend, down friends in general, has no idea what he's doing after graduation, and he'd almost been _eaten_ twice in the last year. Billy is fucking _right._ He deserves a little fun, ok? 

But there is a strange feeling in his gut, something he can't quite place when he looks at the boy in the drivers seat. He chalks it up to all the new changes in his life that have him wondering who the fuck he even is anymore, and tries to focus on the joint in his hands.

When they finally turn down the road that leads to the quarry, Steve wonders, not for the first time, what exactly he's getting himself into by being sort-of-friends with Hargrove. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter by far, but I gotta set up the tiny slivers of Harringrove, right? 
> 
> Plus, I needed Will to tell someone how he feels. Poor child needs some hardcore therapy, ok?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoking pot leads to nothing good. Or maybe one thing good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and a little short.

Steve Harrington was going to be the death of him. 

Billy has no fucking clue why he keeps an eye out for him, or why he keeps saying nice shit to him. Maybe it's because he still feels guilty for fucking up his face, or maybe it's because of how sad and pathetic he looked after Wheeler and Byers broke his fucking heart. He just knows every time the bastard gets that far away look in his eyes, says something completely pessimistic about himself, or just looks like a lost puppy, he feels the need to intervene. Harrington just shouldn't look like a kicked dog. 

He'd seen Harrington protect a bunch of children from not _only_ oily vines with brains and monster dogs, but from _himself_ as well _._ Dude should not be walking around with his tail between his legs. 

So, maybe he doesn't really understand the reasons why he feels the need to lift the guys spirits, but the reason he asks him to come get high with him? Yeah, unfortunately he knows all too well why he did _that._ Harrington has no fucking clue what his innocent little flirtation earlier has done to Billy. 

He'd been standing on the edge of something for awhile now in regards to the brunet. At first it was rivalry, wanting to conquer this hick school along with its king, then it was contempt and frustration because the bastard wouldn't play his game, then it had quickly turned into begrudging _attraction_ which he steadfastly ignored. But with a few little words and that goddamn look in his eyes as he'd leaned down into Billy's space, watching his mouth as he lit a cigarette.. he might as well have just pushed him right over the goddamn cliff. The spark he'd felt… it wasn't something he could ignore now. 

Not that he would ever act on it. He's not a fucking _moron_. Despite the few instances where he's caught Harrington looking, as far as he knows, the dude is all about the ladies. Especially Wheeler. So he's fully prepared to keep it to himself, but he's also not a fucking saint, ok? He'll take whatever he can get. And if that is a shared joint and a bit of trauma, then so be it. 

He turns his music up as Harrington's practiced fingers roll a joint. He was right. The boy totally looked like he'd smoked a few times in his life. They stop in a popular pull off spot overlooking the water and the brunet wastes no time lighting up. _Jesus, take it easy, Princess._

Harrington takes a good hit and holds it for a moment before letting the smoke filter out between his lips. "Damn, this is some good shit, Hargrove."

"Yeah, Tommy introduced me to his dealer." It actually wasn't half bad. Not as good as the shit he could get back home, but decent for this Midwest shithole. 

"Of course he did." He scoffs, passing the joint to Billy. "Dude worships the ground you walk on."

"Do I sense some jealousy?" He asks, taking his own hit. 

"Hell no. You can have him. Tommy's an ass."

"Weren't you two like _besties_ or something?"

"Yeah, before all the shit went down." He doesn't elaborate. "Doesn't really matter anymore." 

They pass the joint back and forth a few times, listening to the radio on low and letting the car fill with smoke. It had been awhile since he'd hot boxed his car. He could feel the tension of the day leaving his muscles. His head felt light and he could almost fully relax. 

Billy doesn't necessarily have to talk while he's smoking. He is perfectly fine enjoying music or even silence, but he has a feeling Harrington is a talker.

"Do you miss it?" Harrington asks a few minutes later. 

_Called it._ He takes the joint from him and inhales deeply before replying, "Miss what?" 

"California?" 

_Shit._

_Brown eyes stare up at him. Hesitant hands on his face. "I've never done this before." That's ok. I have. We can go slow._

_Matty._

_The sound of the ocean, waves breaking. Did you see that, mom? It was at least seven feet! "I saw! You did so good, baby!"_

_The smell of pancakes, sticky syrup on his tongue. "Finish your breakfast, Billy. Then we'll go to the movies. Sound good?"_

_Gentle fingers carding through his tangled curls. One more story, mom, please? "Fine. One more, but then you have to promise to go to sleep." I promise._

_A clock chimes. Blood stains porcelain "It's going to be ok, Billy." No it's not._

_It's dark. There's a tiny chain being fastened around his neck, familiar pendant now resting on his chest. "I want you to have this." What- "for protection."_

_Bags thump next to the front door. A car honks. Fear settles. Where are you going, mom?_

_"I love you, Billy."_

_Mom!_

_Fuck._ He doesn't want to think about her right now. It will kill his high.

"I miss the ocean." He says finally, hand clamping around the pendant, which is _true_ . He _does_ miss it, just not as much as he misses Matt, and definitely not as much as he misses his mom. "The heat. Didn't have to wear so many clothes. It's so fucking cold here." 

Harrington laughs. It's a rather nice sounding laugh. "I bet you never wore a shirt." 

"Not if I could help it." He admits. Well as long as he wasn't sporting bruises. 

"You know, you still barely wear shirts _now_."

"Haven't really updated my wardrobe." He shrugs. 

"How come?"

"Wasn't planning on sticking around long."

Harrington's mouth hangs open for a second. "You're going back?"

"Maybe. I have a little money stashed away from my old job in Cali. Might start looking around town for one come spring to add to it."

"But what about your family?" 

"What I've got isn't family, Harrington." He snaps "It's a fucking noose around my neck." Ok. Maybe he should put the joint down. It's making him much too chatty. Or maybe it's Harrington that's doing it. 

If he's surprised by the honesty, he doesn't show it. "Yeah, you and Max always _insist_ on reminding everyone you aren't _real_ siblings."

"Yeah, because we're _not._ We got shoved together because our parents got fucking hitched without even asking how we felt about it."

"Sounds like you guys should be, like, on the same side then. " The boy talks with his hands a lot. "instead of fighting all the time."

"What the hell do _you_ know?"

"I know I've never seen a kid so damn scared of their brother before." His voice doesn't waver and he doesn't look the least bit worried that he's pissed Billy off. It's that unwavering fire he's seen glimpses of. Too bad he doesn't want to see it right now. 

It's a flash of anger that comes to the surface first. Harrington has _no fucking clue_ what goes on in his life and he's going to sit here and _judge_ him? But then the reasonable part of his brain reminds him that he is, in fact, a fucking asshole and not only treats Max like shit half the time, but he did about break Harrington's nose, so he's not too far off base with the accusations. 

"That's… something I'm working on, alright?" He says, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "Why do you even give a shit about Max? You don't even know her."

He's angry for another reason now. Why is it that everyone is so damn concerned about the redhead? Why is she so much more important? 

"She's just a kid, man. I'm sure it was a hard move for her too." 

He thinks about Max hugging her father goodbye. It was one of the only other times she had cried in front of him. "I guess." He mutters, head leaning back on the headrest. " _So_ , what were your big plans after graduating, King Steve?" He's done talking about _his_ shit. "What were you planning on doing? Going to college? I bet you were."

He doesn't try to pry more into Billy's life and for that he's fucking grateful. "My uh- my dad wanted me to go, but I don't think it's the best plan." He glances out the window. "I'm not dumb or anything, but I'm not really the scholarly type, ya know? That's more Nancy or Jonathan's dream, not mine."

"Then what were planning on doing?"

His shoulders roll up. "Thought about just joining my dad's company. Push papers, get into management."

"Sounds boring." Billy would rather die than get stuck in some back room office job. 

"Yeah, yeah it does. But I don't really know what else to do and I didn't really think I'd be part of a government cover up, so I don't even know how that will affect my prospects."

"How exactly _did_ you get pulled into all the paranormal shit in this town?"

"Well, I mean, I _guess_ it started when Nancy's friend Barb went missing from my house." He looks past Billy and gets quiet for a second. "We found out later she was dragged into the Upside Down and died in my fucking pool. Which, yeah. Still can't fucking look at the thing." _Damn_ . "But I didn't find out about the Demogorgan until I went to the Byers house to apologize to Jonathan for all the crap that happened between us. Nancy was there and she pulled a gun on me, tried to get me to leave, but then the lights were flickering and I heard this.. _growl_ and I couldn't just _leave them."_

"You have one hell of a hero complex, amigo." 

He shrugs, "Yeah, maybe."

"No, you really do. Who the fuck goes running into certain death after having a gun shoved in their face? Sounds like they didn't want your help. You could have left."

Harrington tries to give him a stern look, but it just comes off extremely comical. What he _says_ isn't comical though. "Well, the kids and me didn't want _your_ help either, but you still followed us into _certain death_ didn't you?"

"Point fucking taken I guess."

"Why do you do that? " 

"Do what?"

"Try so hard to be shitty? It's not a big deal to want to protect someone weaker than you."

He sighs loudly. "You're really killin the mood, man. Wasn't this supposed to be fun?" 

"Shit, sorry. I just..I just have zero filter when I'm high." He rubs a hand down his face. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Jesus, just lay off the heavy shit, yeah?"

"Yeah, ok."

They end up talking about the time Tommy H and Carol forgot Harrington was passed out in the same room and he woke up to them fucking a few feet away. He hadn't said a word, just stared for a minute then got up and walked out. He could tell she was faking but never had the heart to tell Tommy Boy. 

Billy tells him about the time he almost got arrested for public indecency when he was fifteen for getting a blow job in the park down the street from his house. He thinks it would be hilarious if it had been someone like the Chief here. Maybe he should try it sometime. 

Harrington doesn't suggest it. Tammy once got caught by Hopper when she was a freshman having sex with a college guy at the drive in. Hopper lugged the guy to jail for the night while Tammy cried in front of twenty cars full of people. 

Billy laughs because there is no damn way he'd believe any college guy would want to hit _that,_ but Harrington insists it's true and defends her honor by saying he personally knows what she's like in the sac. 

That leads them down the rabbit hole that is the one upping game of their sexual escapades.

Billy definitely wins. By a mile and a half. He knows what he looks like, ok? Can he really blame him for using it to his advantage? 

Harrington ungracefully bows out with a promise to have sex so good that it would make _Billy_ jealous. And that just makes him laugh harder because he's just so pissed about it that he nearly falls out of the car when they get back to the arcade. 

And when he finally gets in the shower hours later, he most certainly does _not_ get off to thoughts of Harrington having the best sex of his life with _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I know. Snails pace lol
> 
> But there will be a tiny time skip next chapter and then hopefully things will get going a bit.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy officially meets the little girl with psychic powers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd and super short. 
> 
> My bad.

**Night of the Snow Ball**

It had been at least two weeks since Billy had a confrontation with his dad. So of course it would happen on a night where he had to be seen in public.

It hadn't taken much to set Neil off this time. Billy had _forgotten_ to take the trash out before he dropped Max off at her dance, and then had the _audacity_ not to apologize to Susan for being so lazy. Because that was a thing he was now. _Lazy._ Despite doing his own laundry, cleaning the house when their parents went out on the weekends, and carting Max everywhere. Yeah, he was a fucking leech that did nothing for his family _._

And maybe he shouldn't have mouthed off about it, but _damn_ , it was one thing to call him a fag or tell him he's a piece of shit, but lazy he is _not_. 

But whatever. It's not the worst he's gotten. His face only stings a little and his ribs are probably _not_ broken from the fall down the stairs, so there's that. He pulls into Hawkins Middle School an hour early, because fuck staying in that house a minute longer than he has too. He's the only car in the lot and he needs to _do something_ with this nervous energy, so he quickly slips out of the driver seat and leans against the door, lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke into the crisp night air. 

It's cold as _shit_ here. He's never been this cold in his _life,_ but it takes the edge of the pain, so be figures that's a win. 

Harrington shows up not long after. He's there to pick up _his_ kid. It's weird how that works for them. They act more like siblings than he and Max do, and they have no relation whatsoever. It would make him a little jealous if he didn't know how bratty and annoying Henderson can be. 

Harrington doesn't say anything when he gets out, just saunters over to Billy and bums a cigarette. It's not unusual for them to stay in comfortable silence these days. He thinks that ever since they smoked out at the quarry, maybe the other boy can read him a little better. Maybe he can sense when Billy just isn't in the fucking mood to talk or joke around, but that he _maybe_ doesn't want to be alone.

Billy would never fucking admit it, but he really appreciates Harrington at times like these, when he is a solid presence at his side, close enough to feel the heat from his body, but far enough away that Billy can still pretend that he doesn't want him. Can pretend that they are strangers just leaning against a car smoking at a party and that he _doesn't_ want to cave and tell him what happened tonight. That he doesn't want his arms to wrap around him, pulling him close, telling him it will be ok. 

_Fuck_. It's getting harder to pretend. 

But he'll do it. Because he doesn't want to lose this comfortable camaraderie they have going on. And he knows it's a bad idea to tell him about his bruises and about his fears. So, he stays silent and Harrington lets him. 

They still haven't spoken when he suddenly feels like he's being watched. He jerks forward, turning his head and searching for the source of the feeling. He squints when he sees a girl with short curly hair and a pretty dress staring at him from the gymnasium doorway. He thinks he's seen this kid before. 

It comes to him quickly, A bloody nose and bloody ears dripping onto a couch. Chief Hopper running huge hands through gelled locks. Gates, monsters, _experiments_. 

He swallows hard and lifts a hand to acknowledge her. 

"El?" Harrington says as she approaches, but she's ignoring him. She walks right up to Billy, dark eyes boring into him like she's seeing his very _soul_. He shudders and she lifts her tiny hand, resting it gently on his cheek. He barely suppresses the flinch that the action causes.

"Hurt." She says softly, eyes still searching, for what he doesn't know. 

He can't see Harrington's reaction but he can nearly feel the sudden stillness. 

"What-" He licks his dry lips, "I'm not hurt, kid." 

Her hand drops from his face to his open jacket, palm pressing slightly on his bruised ribs. He hisses in pain. 

"You're _hurt_." She says again, a bit more forceful as Harrington pulls her back. 

"El! You can't just _touch_ people like that without their permission."

He's telling her something else but Billy doesn't hear. He's too focused on the fact that this little girl knew exactly where his injuries were. And the concern in her voice, the look in her eyes. Like she _knows._

_What the fuck?_

There's no way for her to know. _Max_ doesn't even know because she was _here_ when it happened. So how the hell does this girl know he's in pain? 

The girl, _El,_ looks back at him and taps the side of her head. "A feeling." She says, as if that explains everything, as if she knows what he's thinking. 

Hell, maybe she fucking _does_. 

Harrington is looking at him strangely. "You get in another fight or something?" 

"What's it to you?" He can't help the defensive tone he takes. This feels too much like a trap. 

"Just asking, man. It looked like it hurt when she touched you." 

"It's fine. I fell down the cellar stairs earlier putting ornament boxes away. Missed a step." 

El shakes her head, eyes serious. "Friends don't lie."

" _Excuse_ me?" 

By now the brat pack have realized their other member is missing and they are filing out of the door. 

He catches sight of Max and yells to her. "Time to go. Tell your friends goodbye." He needs to get away from here. He needs to leave before he just tells Harrington _everything_. 

Harrington tries to stop him. "Whoa, hey. No need to rush off."

"Back the fuck up, _Steve._ " He forces out his first name between clenched teeth to throw the other boy off and luckily it works. He steps back long enough for Billy to yank his door open. He's sweating, _panicking_. If he stays, there will be more questions. He can't handle that right now. They can't find out. He can't see the disappointing look on his face when he finds out how _weak_ Billy is. Or _worse_ , fucking _pity_. 

He slams the door and yells for Max to _get the fuck in,_ and then he's leaving the group of confused kids, and one upset looking brunet, in the dust. 

"Are you ok?" Max asks when they're halfway home. 

He grits his teeth. "How much do you know about that El girl?" 

"Not a lot, why?" 

"She just randomly came up to me. Told me I was _hurt_ and that I was _lying_ about how it happened." 

Quietly she asks, " _Are_ you hurt?" 

"Fuck, Max, why does it matter?" 

"I thought it was getting better?" She sounds so damn sad and it irritates him so much. "I didn't notice-"

"You weren't always around to witness it _before_. What makes you think you'll always be around to witness it now?"

He can see her bite her lip in his peripheral vision. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Jesus. It's not like _you're_ the one throwing me down the stairs." 

"He threw you down the stairs?!" She yells, making his ears hurt. 

" _Max."_

She lowers her voice. "Fine, yeah I know… I just… I feel so _useless_." 

He gets that. He really does. "Me too, shitbird." 

They are quiet for awhile before he feels like talking again. "Did you at least have fun? " 

"Yeah. It was nice and Lucas asked me to dance."

He grimaces and she seems to catch it. "I know you hate him, but I like him a lot." 

"I don't… I don't really _hate him._ But _Dad_ would. That's why I wanted you to stay away from him, why I threatened him to stay away, but I guess that's some wishful fucking thinking, huh?" 

"He doesn't have to know." 

He levels her with a hard stare. "He _always_ finds out, Maxine." 

She sighs and leans back into the seat. "Then I'll just have to deal with it when he does."

Billy still thinks she doesn't get the true danger behind the warning, but there's no point in arguing with her now. He doesn't want to ruin her night more than he already has. 

When they pull up to the house and she opens the door, he decides to tell her, "You looked nice by the way. And I'm glad you had fun." 

She turns to him, a small smile on her lips as she says, "Thanks, asshole." And hurries inside. 

Billy decides to smoke one last cigarette before heading in. It would probably be a long night. 

* * *

  
Steve watches the Camero speed off before he looks down at El. "What was that all about?" 

She had said she had a _feeling._ Well, he has a feeling too, a _bad_ one. Billy has shown up with far too many bruises lately and it's starting to worry him. 

"He lied. He didn't fall." 

Steve stares at her. "You think he was _pushed_?" Holy shit. 

She nods. "It's a feeling." 

"What are you guys talking about?" Mike asks, coming to take El's hand. 

"Billy is hurt." She says. 

"Who cares?" He replies. "He's kind of a dick." 

El looks sad at the starement. "Hurting." She says again, putting her hand on her chest. "Inside too." 

And that is like a bucket of ice being dumped over his head. Hargrove always acts like such a hard ass. Maybe he really is hiding something. Something bad. "Can you… do you know what happened?" 

She shakes her head. "Wasn't looking." 

Well, shit. He doubts he would tell Steve anything, even if he guessed right. 

"Again, why are we worried about Max's douchey brother?" Mike asks, annoyed. 

"Because he's Steve's friend now." Dustin says quietly. "Right? You guys hang out sometimes."

"Yeah. Uh, yeah. We do." He admits. It's not like the kids haven't seen them smoking together while they wait for them. "He's not _always_ such an asshole." 

Lucas nods in agreement. "Max says he's not being as big of a dick to her lately."

"Ok, fine. Maybe he's not _crazy_ anymore. I still don't know why we care." 

"Friend," El says, squeezing his hand. "We help our friends. One of the rules." 

Steve definitely feels like something isn't right with the blonde so he tells the little girl, "Don't worry. I'll figure it out, ok? Why don't you go back and enjoy the last ten minutes of the dance. Hopper isn't even here yet." 

She smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Ok." 

Dustin hangs back for a moment as the rest of them all disappear back inside. Steve runs a shaky hand through his hair. He needs to _think_. 

"You're really worried about Billy, aren't you?"

"Yeah. But he won't want me to be." 

"Maybe. But if you're his friend, do what you gotta do, Steve." He says, and then he too leaves to follow his friends back to the dance. 

Steve appreciates Dustin. He really does. He seems to have a knack for saying the things that Steve needs to hear.

Like figuring out what he's going to do about this. He's been getting closer to Billy lately, he was fun to hang out with, even if he was a jerk, and it beat the hell out of moping over Nancy. But he doesn't think they are at any level of friendship where Billy would confide in him. 

Maybe it was time to change that. 

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max realizes her brother might have a crush. She's not too happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbet'd as usual.

Unfortunately, school was out for the holidays, so Steve couldn't predict when or where he'd be able to see Billy. He was _worried,_ ok. In the months he'd known him, Billy didn't run away. He just didn't. So it really concerned him when he hadn't shown up to get Max from the Wheeler's the next night. 

And _then_ the kids told him there had been three days of radio silence from Max now, so he decided to just bite the bullet and go to their house. He'd promised Eleven that he'd take care of it. And Billy was _his friend_ , damnit. He's _allowed_ to be worried about him. 

He heads to their house in the early afternoon, figuring if he went during the day, their old man wouldn't be home and he really didn't want to see the fuckers face, because he just _knew_ he was the reason for Billy's bruises. He couldn't prove it, but he just had a feeling it was true. 

An older looking version of Max answered the door when he gave it a good couple of knocks. 

"Mrs. Hargrove, I presume?" He asked. 

She gave a polite yet questioning smile. "Yes, may I help you?" 

"I hope so. I'm Steve Harrington, a friend of Billy's from school and I _totally_ forgot your guy's number, so I decided to drop by." He nodded to the front of the street. "Saw his car was here." 

"Yes, of course." She says sweetly. "Come on in, Steve. I'll just… go get him. Wait here."

He steps inside and sees Max walking into the living room. She gapes like a fish when she sees him. " _Steve?_ What are _you_ doing here?"

"Well, since you two _shitheads_ decided to disappear on us, I elected myself to come talk to you." He whispered harshly. 

Hargrove comes around the corner and just… stops when he sees him. "Thought Susan was shittin me. What are you doing here, Harrington?"

"Just wanted to talk to you."

His brows furrow. "Why?" 

"Because you're my _friend,_ and you just drove off in a huff the other night then dropped off the radar. I was fuckin worried, man."

Billy looks strangely at Max and then back at the hallway where Steve assumes Max's mom is standing. He sighs dramatically. "Fine. Let me just… let me get my jacket and we can go to the Diner or something."

For some reason, Steve finds himself smiling. "Sure." 

Max perks up at that. "Can I come too, Billy? Huh?"

"I don't give a shit what you do, Maxine. Ask Harrington." He replies and disappears into the hall. 

"Steve, can I come?"

He doesn't see why not. It may be better if Max is there anyways. "Yeah, I don't care."

"Sweet! You're so getting me fries." She says with a smile. 

He can't help but smile back. She just seems so damn happy for whatever reason. "Yeah, ok. Whatever you want, kid."

"Mom! " She hollers. "I'm going with Billy and Steve!"

"Ok, sweetie! Remember your curfew, though!" 

"As if Billy would let me forget, " She mutters, and puts on her coat. 

"Shut up, shit bird, or I'll leave you here." He says, coming up behind her. 

"Will not." She sticks her tongue out at him. "Steve won't let you."

"Hey, don't drag me into this. I'm not a referee for sibling pissing matches." He may be a babysitter, but he's not qualified for a Hargrove-Mayfield smack down. He just quickly follows them out the door. "We can take my car." He offers. "It's already warm and everything." 

"Sure, whatever." The blonde responds, heading for the passenger door. "Can't believe you _actually_ showed up at the _house."_ He says once Steve is putting it into drive. "Miss me that bad, Harrington?"

"Don't be an asshole." He says, but in all honesty, it's not far from the truth. "Like I said, I was worried."

He's quiet for a moment. "Because of what that little girl, El, said, right?"

"Yeah." He admits. "She never says things for the hell of it." 

"She picked up on me being hurt. Big fucking deal."

"You're barking up the wrong tree. Billy doesn't like feeling _vulnerable_." Max pipes up from the back seat. 

Hargrove twists around in the seat and tries to grab for her. " _Fuck you_ , you little brat."

"What?! It's _true."_ She says, wiggling out of his grasp. 

_"_ Goddamn it, Max. _Shut up_."

" _Fine_." She kicks his seat. "You're such a spoil sport, geeze."

Steve actually thinks it's kind of funny, seeing them like this. Just a month or so ago, he'd seen Max's face fill with terror at just the _thought_ of her brother coming to get her. Now she's _trying_ to piss him off and _laughing_ about it. He wonders what had to have happened for them to have such a shift in their relationship. Probably nearly being eaten by Demodogs. 

Yeah. That was probably it. 

At first Hargrove seemed tense as shit. His shoulders had been hunched up and his voice had been rough, his tone clipped, but the further away from his house they got, the more he seemed to relax. 

_Shit._ Their hunch was probably right. Why else would he be so up tight in his own house? 

Steve may hate his huge, empty, yet surprisingly suffocating house, but he never really feared it. His parents were never home, and he was the worlds biggest disappointment to his dad, but he wasn't really _scared_ of him. He couldn't even imagine… He didn't want to. 

_Fuck_. He was really out of his depth here. But he wasn't going to give up. He knew who Billy hung out with. None of them would care enough to notice anything, and if they ever _did_ , they would probably just keep on ignoring it. Hargrove was like Steve. He didn't really have anyone to lean on besides the little dipshits. Maybe they only really had each other. 

Sure, that was kind of _sad_ , but it was the damn truth. So Steve refused to abandon him. El was right. Friends help friends, and that was what he was going to fucking do, whether Billy liked it or not. 

It's not too busy in the Diner when they get there, and they're able to get Steve's favorite booth. 

A girl from his class, Shelley, takes their order. Steve orders his usual meal; cheeseburger with onion rings, and Max gets fries and a shake. Billy settles for a bowl of chili with extra cheese. Which doesn't sound half bad, really. 

Steve doesn't really know how to get the other boy to open up to him, but he tries to get answers in roundabout ways. Asking him if he normally helps Max's mom with decorations, and how heavy was the box if it had made him fall. He was always quick with a retort and explanation and Max was zero help whatsoever. 

He wonders briefly if Max had ever been hit. He can't remember seeing any bruises on her, but she could be hiding them. Maybe they aren't as obvious as Billy's. But then again, Max isn't as closed off as her brother, not as angry either. Maybe it's just Billy that gets in trouble. 

It frustrates him and makes him a little sick to think about it. So, he decides he will stop pushing it for today. It's been kinda fun being here with the step siblings and Billy isn't being a giant dickwad today. He's actually cracking jokes and giving Steve all kinds of hell for being worried and it's just...nice. 

He's even _laughing_ and it's deep and _real_ , not the fake one he uses when he's trying to goad someone into a fight, or the heated one he uses when he flirts with Mrs. Wheeler, or even the phychotic one he gets after he takes a hit, when there's blood on his teeth. Steve thinks he likes this laugh the best. It makes him look younger and less stressed out. 

Hargrove's hard edges have seemed to smooth out a bit since coming here, and the longer they sit there, eating their food and making fun of their classmates and the rest of the little shits Max hangs out with, the more laid back he seems to get. And Steve, Steve feels like he's doing something right for a change. Maybe he _can't_ help Billy with his problems- really, he _knows_ he can't, especially if the guy won't let him- but he _can_ say stupid shit to make him laugh like _that_. He can return a smile that makes his cheeks hurt and he _can_ make things better for a few hours, so he decides that that is enough for now. 

And when Billy is ready to talk, if he ever is, Steve will be right there to listen. 

* * *

  
Max was enjoying being at the diner with Steve and Billy. It had been days since she'd left the house and it was nice to eat one freaking meal when there was no tension looming over the table, and listening to the two of them bicker like old maids was hilarious. 

She understood why Steve was worried. Hell, _she_ bad been worried too, but Billy would _never_ admit anything to Steve. _Ever._ So, it was mostly just the older boy beating around the bush and her brother leading him on a wild goose chase while she dipped her crunchiest fries in her chocolate shake. 

She's laughing at the face Steve makes when Billy tells him he's worse than Mrs. Wheeler as Steve tries to get him to order more food- Mrs Wheeler _always_ likes to feed him when he picks Max up- when she feels a shift in the air. 

She almost drops a fry when she sees the look Billy is giving him across the table. Her blood runs cold. 

Is he freaking _crazy? He has to be._

Maybe no one _else_ in the Diner can see it, see the meaning behind his eyes, but no one else _knows_ Billy's secret. 

He's looking at Steve like… like Lucas sometimes looks at her. All fond and shit. 

She panics and kicks his shin under the table. 

"Owe, what the _fuck_ , Max?"

"Sorry," She says, sucking loudly on her straw, "I slipped." 

He rolls his eyes and returns to their conversation. Max watches him closely, but he only has _that look_ one or two more times. 

It's bad though. It's really bad. He _can't_ like Steve. Steve is… Steve is off limits ok? And if Neil finds out Billy is crushing on a _guy?_ Max does _not_ want to think about the consequences of that. Is he an idiot? 

She wants to yell at him. Tell him he is the worlds biggest _moron_ as soon as Steve drops them off but she doesn't. She doesn't say a word about it. It's just too risky with their parents home, so she waits until the morning when she _knows_ their parents are out, this may be the only chance she'll get for awhile.

He's lifting weights in the living room when she approaches him. "What are you doing, Billy?"

He frowns in irritation. "What's it look like I'm doin, shit bird?"

She folds her arms across her chest. "No, not that. I'm talking about with _Steve_." 

He puts the barbell down and gives her a hesitant look. "What are you talking about?" 

"I _saw_ the way you were looking at him at the Diner last night." 

He just goes back to looking irritated. "There's nothing going on between me and Steve. Jesus Christ. The dude's straight, Max." 

She doesn't really know about that, Steve had been looking all soft eyed at her brother a few times too. "I don't care if he is or isn't. It's not about him. It's about you, you idiot. Aren't you supposed to be like...keeping a low profile?"

"Fuck off."

"No! I won't!" She shouts, then adds more softly, "I just don't want you to get hurt like that again."

He sighs and gets up to light a cigarette. "Listen, you don't have to worry about it, alright? There's nothing going on, and yeah I might have a little bit of a thing for the fucking loser, but I have it under control. He's not going to find out and despite what my _Dad_ thinks, he can't _actually_ read minds."

Ok. Yeah. She understands but.. " Why Steve?" 

He groans and blows a cloud of smoke in her face. " Fuck if I know. He just snuck up on me, I guess." 

"Ugh, well just keep your gross sex eyes to yourself next time."

He bursts out laughing and it catches her off guard. She smiles. She always likes it when Billy laughs 

He saunters back to his weights and settles down, replying over his shoulder."Well, maybe stop staring so hard at your _brother_ and you won't have to see him giving _anyone_ sex eyes." 

"You're so gross." She says and stalks away from him. 

" _Goodbye_ , Max." He calls after her, laughter in his voice. 

Well, at least he's not so angry anymore. She could _maybe_ get over him liking Steve if it meant he was happier. She thinks he probay deserves to be happy. They all do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the pace is starting to inch forward a bit. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. You'll definitely see more Max POV's in the future. And maybe an El one at some point too. We shall see. 😊


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is getting a little too comfortable with his place beside Harrington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has like... no dialogue. But I really wanted a time skip and Billy thinking about how things are changing. 
> 
> Hopefully you still enjoy it.

**February 1985**

His life had been easier, Billy thinks, when Max had been afraid of him. 

She had stayed out of his way for the most part and tried to be quiet, but now? Now she thinks they're _best friends_ or some shit, and no, he's not desperate enough to be palling around with his kid sister. 

Sure, it is _kinda_ nice to have someone who _knows_ Billy, like really _knows_ him, but at the same time it's also annoying as _fuck_ because she also _knows_ about Harrington. About Billy's stupid fucking crush that's going absolutely nowhere. And she won't stop making faces at him, or muttering cutesy shit under her breath when she knows they've just been hanging out. 

Like New Year's Eve for example. That had been a trip and a half. By some miracle his old man had decided to let Max go to the Wheelers New Year's Eve bash, but only if Billy watched out for her. Which A) ruined his plans of getting shit faced at Tina's, B) put him in awkward as fuck position dodging Karen Wheeler, and C) left him up close and personal with Harringtons puke at midnight. 

Byers and Harrington had snuck a bottle of whiskey in and by ten o'clock Harrington was rosey faced and relaxed. He'd slung his arm around Billy, much to the sheer horror of _Nancy_ and Byers, and told Billy that he was being a stick in the mud and that nobody actually hated him anymore so he should stop sulking in a corner. 

He hadn't been _sulking_ , alright. He just knew he'd come as a package deal so Max could have fun. Harrington was the only one that would even remotely _want_ him there, besides the Mrs of the house, so it wasn't really imperative for him to find a comfy spot on the couch between them. He was just fine where he was. 

Obviously that hadn't been fine for _Steve_ because he practically dragged him into the livingroom and forced him to sit down anyway. He'd caught Max's eye and she just grinned like a damn maniac. Probably thinking something along the lines of " **_Oooh_ ** _, saw Steve manhandling you, Billy. Bet you liked_ **_that_ ** _."_ Ugh. Fucking brat. 

But there was no point in fighting Harrington. Billy knew the only reason why he was probably getting so drunk was because he didn't know what to do about being in the same room as his ex, while she cozied up with Byers and whispered in his ear. In fact, _Billy_ was almost tempted to sneak a few swigs because it was making _him_ feel some kind of way too. 

Like, did they ever care? At least Byers looked a little guilty. He kept giving Harrington these… _looks_ like he felt like a piece of shit, and good. He _should._ Billy had no room to talk of course, but Billy never pretended to be anything other than what he was. An asshole. Expectations kinda fade away when everyone already knows you're going to let them down. Apparently Jon Byers didn't like the feeling. He didn't have friends either so Harrington was probably the closest thing he had to one. Should have given that a little more thought before he stuck his dick in his girl, huh? 

Billy has a lot of feelings regarding that shitshow apparently. Fuck. 

So, that had gone as well as expected. Harrington drank most of the bottle and got way too comfortable getting in Billy's space which, ok, he was totally fine with, but he'd rather not have an audience so he could oogle him in _peace_ . He had to keep leaning away when he really wanted to just lean forward and Harrington was handsy as _fuck_ when drunk, so that was a good time trying to keep his damn _want_ in check. Because it didn't _mean_ anything.

Harrington was just trying to have fun and he was probably fucking lonely and Billy was.. well he was his _friend,_ so he was comfortable nudging him, leaning on him, touching him with his stupid perfect hands and smiling at him with his stupid goofy grin. And Billy _knows_ he's pathetic, ok? But he's gone on this stupid bastard and it was really annoying when he couldn't even enjoy being the center of his attention because Nancy fucking Wheeler was giving him stink eyes from across the room. 

Like _Billy_ had been the one draping himself across Steve on her couch. Like he even asked to be there in the first place. So, yeah, it was a blast. And then eleven forty-five came around and Harrington got this weird look on his face, like he was gonna hurl and seemed kind of panicky so Billy took him outside while Henderson yelled that they were going to miss the ball drop. He didn't really care, because that's when Harrington ralfed in the bushes. 

He'd told Billy he was _sorry_. _Sorry_ for puking _. Sorry_ for making Billy uncomfortable. He didn't know what was _wrong_ with him and he hated himself and fuck, Billy isn't a shrink so he didn't know what to say to all that, but he'd steadied the other boy while he puked his guts up, ran his thumb across his chilled skin and told him _it was fine._ Billy _wasn't mad at him_ and that _nothing is wrong with you, idiot._

They'd stayed out there for a few minutes, letting Harrington regain his equilibrium while the house erupted in "Happy New Year!" Harrington had leaned against him and muttered that there wasn't anything really happy about it and Billy had agreed, because yeah. Life was shit. 

And then the whole fucking ride home he had to deal with Max smiling and staring at him with that _I saw you with Steve_ look and he finally threatened to shove her out of the car if she didn't _shut up._

 _I'm not even_ **_saying_ ** _anything._

_Well, your thoughts are super fucking loud, Max._

She'd been quiet after that but he could still see the smug look on her face when she got out of his car and raced up the walk. 

It had only gotten worse since then. 

Of course, she never joked about it if anyone was around, and if she thought he was being too obvious out in public she'd kick him or make an obnoxious comment, so he guesses he can let her have her fun teasing him. He doesn't worry that she'll out him like she had back in Cali. Because now she _knows_ and they both had to live with what happened hanging over their heads. 

To be honest, he thinks she probably jokes around because it's the only way for her to cope with the fear of him being found out. He can tell when she gets worried. He keeps telling her that it's fine. Billy has a reputation for sleeping around with girls, and he has that reputation for a reason, because he _does_ sleep around. No one is going to suspect a thing if he smiles just a little too brightly at Harrington, or if his eyes linger on his mouth too long, or if he looks him up and down just so he can picture what he'd look like under his clothes later. No one is in Billy's head, so she can take the worry down a notch. 

She tries. He can tell. But now it's _February_ and he spends sixty percent of his free time with Harrington, and they're at the point where they have fucking _inside jokes_ , take the brats to the movies, and smoke joints at the quarry when they are bored. He hasn't been to a party in _weeks,_ and Tommy H and them have been trying to keep his attention, but he just can't find it in him to care.

He made the basketball team, and Harrington was the fucking team captain, so he spent most of his time at _school_ with him too. It gives Max plenty of material to work with and Billy has even started talking to the little _shitheads_ like they are real people. Well, they are _obviously_ people, but he's never really cared enough before to actually have conversations with them.

But now he finds himself wedged between Baby Byers and Harrington some nights when Will wants to _talk,_ and there's something about the kid that _speaks_ to Billy because he feels _off,_ and not just because he got possessed and hunted by the Demo-whatever. He can't be one hundred percent sure, but he has a feeling that the kid is probably like _him._

He can see the way he nervously looks at Wheeler Jr when he thinks no one is looking and when talk comes around about girl friends and how Dustin is jealous of Mike and Lucas- which he doesn't want to hear about because Max is his fucking _sister_ and he will _kill_ the little shit if he touches her- the kid just looks lost and uncomfortable.

Billy feels for him. He really does, but these kids still don't _trust_ him, they kind of just _accept_ that he's a part of the larger group, and he doesn't blame them. He's still a complete douchebag, as Henderson so fondly calls him, but he's a douchebag that kind of wants to help the kid. He still has time, he supposes. They're thirteen and live in fucking _Indiana_ . It will be awhile before Baby Byers starts _really_ questioning things. Maybe by then he will be able to give him advice. Wholesome advice, of course. 

And god damn, fucking Henderson..he thinks just because Billy is cool with _Harrington_ leaning on his car that it's totally fine for him to do it too, even though Billy had threatened him the first five times. Empty threats apparently, because he's still a hard ass, alright, but he won't stoop so low as to hit a kid, and the little nerd _knows_ that, so he's stuck dealing with his quips as he purposely _leans..._ and _fuck Henderson, actually. Little asshole._

He hasn't seen the chiefs daughter since that night back in December, but he hears about her a lot. The kids visit her sometimes but Billy has never gone. He'd rather stay away from the Chief if he can. Billy and the law weren't usually on friendly terms and if his dad found out he was hanging out with a _cop?_ Yeah, it just wouldn't go over well. 

Speaking of his old man. It's been awhile since they've had one of their _fights_ , but a week into January, he'd shown up to Harrington's with a black eye. He'd expected another one of his attempts to get Billy to spill, but he just sighed and gave him a bag of frozen peas and let him crash on his posh couch for the night. 

Max had a lot to say about _that._

_You can't just stay at his house, Billy._

But he doesn't care what she has to say about it. It was the best nights sleep he'd had in a long time. Though, he suspects judging by the dark circles under Harrington's eyes, that it's not the case for _him._

They talk about his nightmares sometimes. The reason why he doesn't sleep well. Harrington is afraid of the dark now and he can't go near his pool. He sees the monsters on bad nights and sleeps with that bat next to his bed. Billy can't say that he blames him. He has his own nightmares, about _that night_ , and many others nights with his own monster, but they don't talk about them.

They never really talk about Billy, and he likes it that way. Harrington never pushes him and it's nice to be able to just sit next to him and feel like shit without having to talk about it. It makes him feel better just being in his vicinity. Christ, he should probably stop hanging out with him so much. He's turning into a fucking _girl._

Max is staring at him now, from across the table, fork poised in her hand. "You're thinking about Steve right now aren't you?" 

" _What_?" He knows they are alone in the house, but he can still feel the heat rise in his face. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

She rolls her eyes. "You are staring at your pancakes like a lovesick idiot. What if our parents were here?" 

"Oh, fuck off, Max. They _aren't,_ so my face can do what it wants."

"I'm just _saying-"_

"Well, _stop_." He snaps. He already knows. "I'll fucking reel it in." 

"I just don't want-" 

"I _got it."_

She frowns and continues eating her breakfast, but suddenly Billy's not hungry anymore. 

She's _right_. He's getting _sloppy_ again. 

He's supposed to take Max to the arcade in an hour and then go hang out with Harrington, but maybe he should just drop her off and call Tommy. Maybe find some chick to fuck because he's obviously getting too comfortable with his feelings for Steve, and he can't afford to slip up now. 

Yeah. That's what he'll do. He feels bad, he really does, but he'll just have to apologize to Harrington later. 

  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one thing to give Steve the run around, it's another thing entirely when one of the kids get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

**March 1985**

The first time Billy blows him off it's not a big deal. Steve knows they've been spending _a lot_ of time together, with and without the brats, so it's only natural that he would probably want to spend time with his other friends. So, Steve isn't mad about it. Was he a little disappointed because he'd wanted to show Billy the new record store a few towns over? Yeah, but he wasn't like _devastated_ . He's bowed of plans with people before, so he _gets it._ They'll just reschedule. 

But it happens again a few days later, and then suddenly Billy starts dropping Max of _early_ and not sticking around for their normal smoke. He says he's looking for a job, or his dad is giving him shit, but Steve can tell he's _lying,_ he just doesn't know _why._ He racks his brain for clues, had he said something, _done_ something to piss the guy off? He can't remember any time in the last month that they had even _argued_ outside of the playful bickering they had going on. 

And he'd already _apologized_ for the fucking mess he was on New Year's Eve. Billy hadn't seemed to care. In fact, he always seemed amused when anyone brought up how touchy feely and ridiculous Steve was that night. He'd stopped pushing Billy to tell him about his injuries too. Just let him crash at his house when he needed to. No big deal there. He can't even remember the last time Billy had even been _angry_. 

He's thoroughly confused and just a bit hurt by it, because they'd been doing so good. They were _friends._ They helped take care of the kids together, and smoked pot and went to the movies, and harassed the other basketball teams during away games. Again, they were _friends_ , dammit. Billy let him talk about his _nightmar_ es and never made fun of him for leaving the lights on. It had been so fucking _nice_ to have someone to talk to that he didn't have a giant emotional hang up over. 

He'd finally started to feel not so _alone anymore_ and had been getting so used to having the blond by his side most of the time, that when he starts disappearing during lunch and avoiding Steve after practice, the big aching hole in his chest, in his _life_ , starts opening up again and it hurts _worse_ this time. 

He tries to talk to Max about it one day, but she acts like she doesn't understand the question. _Billy's just being Billy. He disappears sometimes but he'll eventually come back around._ There's something she's not saying, though, and he thinks there's some kind of guilt thing going on there, but it's not like he can _make_ her talk. So, he drops it. 

He knows what Billy's been up to because gossip is this town's favorite past time. He's not really surprised to hear about the parties, and the girls. He's a little surprised by the _coke_ , though, like where the hell did he even get _that_ ? He tries talking to him about it because maybe this whole thing is him running away from his problems at home. Maybe he needs someone to talk him down, let him know they're _there_ . He thinks maybe that someone can be _him._

They never really talked about Billy's problems before so maybe that's the issue. Maybe they're friendship had been too unbalanced so Steve tries to fix it. Ditches class early one Friday and waits by the Camaro. He tells Billy he's sorry if he fucked things up but he just wants to talk and he's worried about some of the shit he's hearing but Billy brushes him off. _You didn't do shit, Princess. It ain't that deep. Stop fucking worrying._ And just…drives off. Like it doesn't matter. Like their friendship doesn't matter. Like...like _Steve_ doesn't matter and it's all just _bullshit._

So, he stood in the fucking school parking lot, staring at the spot where the Camaro had just been parked and blinked back tears until he was safe in his car. Then he fucking cried like a girl because this can't be happening again and why does everyone _leave_ him and why isn't he _good enough..._ didn't Billy say he was good enough? So, why doesn't he _care_ anymore? 

Then he almost pukes because he realizes that maybe he had _never_ actuallycared in the first place, and just wanted to stick around because of Max, because he knew Hawkins secrets now. And that...that is too much and he can't _breathe_ and this is almost worst than when Nancy fucking _cheated on him._ He knows it's stupid to feel that way, because this is _not_ the _same_ as that, Billy's not his fucking _girlfriend_ , _Christ_ , but he just...he was finally feeling better about his life and now he's back to square one. 

Well, if Hargrove doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, for _whatever reason,_ then he just has to suck it up and move the fuck on. He stops seeking him out and just tries to go about his days like he had before the asshole had offered him friendship and it works for awhile. They interact when they have to and if he thinks Billy looks like complete shit it's none of his business anymore. 

It all comes to a head, though, when he doesn't show up at the diner on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of March. While Billy had been avoiding _him_ for weeks, he was still being friendly with the kids and he'd _promised_ the brats he'd be there. They were going to be doing something after dinner for Will's fourteenth birthday coming up and he'd wanted everyone, including Hargrove to be there. 

Max had come with Lucas and it's been an hour now but he still hasn't shown. Will is looking out the window all _sad_ and it pisses Steve off because it's one thing to give _Steve_ the run around, but it's a different story _entirely_ when the kids get hurt. 

"Ok, fuck this." He says, and stands up from the table. 

All heads turn to look at him and Dustin asks him what's wrong. 

"I'm going to find fucking Hargrove and if I _don't_ kill him, I'm dragging his ass here." 

The kids know things have gotten sour between them, but for once they've been smart enough to leave it alone. 

"It's fine, Steve." Will insists, "He's probably busy. Max said he's been busy lately."

"Yeah, well I don't really care. A promise is a promise." He pulls out his wallet and hands Jonathan a few twenties. 

"Want me to go with you?" Jonathan asks. But no, he doesn't want _Jonathan_ to go with him. This is between him and Billy. "I got it, man. You guys just wait here. I'll be back soon."

Max looks like she may have something to say so he looks pointedly at her. "I think, " She says softly, "that he may have been with Tommy and Mark this morning. But he told me he was coming..."

"Thanks, Max." He tells her, and then he's running to his car. 

He's just _so fucking angry._ He hasn't been this angry in…in a long time. 

He heads towards Tommy's house first, but as he passes the movie theatre he sees the pretty blue Camaro sitting beside it. He swings around and parks behind him. He doesn't care if he has to buy a ticket and then search through every fucking theatre one by one, he's going to _find_ Billy and give him a piece of his mind. 

He storms inside and stops dead in his tracks. Billy's there, standing in line at the concession stand, his arm draped over… _Shelley's_ shoulders, and Tommy, Carol, Mark, and Tina are there too, laughing and talking and Billy whispers something in Shelley's _ear_ that makes her giggle and Steve fucking _loses it._

He stomps right up to them and doesn't give a single fuck what he probably looks like as he grabs Billy's shoulder and pulls, causing him to let go of the girl and stumble backward. 

He seems like he's about to come back swinging but then sees it's _Steve_ and stops himself. He has a sad look in his eye for a moment, but then it's gone and he shifts into the asshole persona that he has perfected.

" _Harrington,_ long time no see, amigo. What's with the chilly welcome?" 

"Did you _forget_ what today was or are you just that much of a fucking asshole that you don't fucking care?" 

His eyes flash and he frowns. "Watch yourself, man." 

"No, you know what? No. We're not doing this here." He turns to the others who look super confused at this point. "Sorry, Shelley," He says, " I'm stealing your dickbag date." And he grabs Billy's arm _hard_ , and holy shit he has never had the fucking balls to just _grab_ him like this, but fuck he's so pissed off that he _pulls on_ him and Billy surprisingly let's him. 

"Hey!" Tommy steps forward but Billy tells him to back off. 

"It's cool, Tommy. Let me handle it. Don't wait for me."

Steve lets go as soon as he realizes that he's going to willingly follow him outside but when they reach their cars Steve is ready to explode again. Especially after Billy leans against his Camaro and pulls out a cigarette scoffing, "What's got your panties in a twist, Princess?" 

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me right now?" He hisses, snatching the unlit cigarette out of his hand and snapping it in half. "What the hell is _wrong with you?"_ Billy's mouth is in a firm line, his eyes stormy as Steve continues. "You're an absolute _asshole_ , Hargrove, but I already _knew_ that, so I guess that's on me for thinking you actually cared. But at this point I don't give a fuck how you treat _me._ I don't care if you fucking ignore me or pretend that we _weren't_ friends for three months, or if you act like you don't know my fucking shit, or conviently _forget_ that you slept in my living room and wore _my_ sweat pants to bed after getting punched in the _fucking face_ ," There are emotions happening in Billy's eyes, but he can't quite place them as he moves on, "but there is a _kid_ sitting at the diner right now fucking _upset_ because your ass skipped out on him. It's fucking _Will, Billy._ It's not Dustin or fucking _Mike_. It's _Will_." 

"And I _know_ you care about him, don't even pretend that you don't." He says when Billy looks like he's going to protest, and they are so close now, they're almost _touching_ , but he doesn't think about that because he's still _angry._ "So, I don't get why the hell you're here with with... _Shelley_ , when you're supposed to be hanging out with us for his birthday! I know you didn't fucking forget. You _told_ Max you'd be there. So, what's your game here, man? Because you're either _here_ for them, or you're _not_ . And if you're not, then you need to fuck off right now because I'm not going to watch you crush any of those kids like you fucking _crushed me,_ especially Will! It's not happening! I'm drawing a fucking line!" 

He's breathing hard now, and his chest… it _hurts_ and Billy is just staring at him, his blue green eyes wide with some kind of sadness and Steve doesn't know what to _do,_ because the anger is still there, yeah, but now his eyes are burning, and _oh shit,_ he better not fucking _cry_ right now. 

"You're such a fucking _asshole_ , man." He repeats, but he kind of chokes on it and then Billy is putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

His voice is soft and calm when he says " _I'm sorry._ " 

It confuses him because that's not what he was expecting him to say."What?" 

Billy sighs and lets go of him. "You're right. I _am_ an asshole. And I'm sorry. For not showing up at the diner for Will and for.." He looks away, like it's _painful_ to look at Steve, "for _hurting_ you so much. I don't…I don't know why I did that. I'm just…I'm bad news, Harrington. You shouldn't want to be my friend anyway. Maybe it's better for everyone if I just get lost."

But that's not what Steve _wants._ He wants Billy to come back to the diner with him. Wants things to go back to the way they were. 

"Why'd you disappear?" He asks instead. Because he can't let it go. He wants to know if it was his fault. He _needs_ to know. "Don't lie. Things were like.. good. Was it me? I know I can be a lot to deal with sometimes. But I can fix it...we don't want you to get lost, so just tell me what happened?" 

" _I_ happened, Harrington." He admits and looks back at him. "I told you before that it wasn't you. That wasn't a lie. I can't…I don't know _how_ to be happy, or keep friends. I don't know how to be a good person. I'm fucking _defective_." He spits the word out and Steve feels like there's something behind the hostility of it.

"I break _everything_ I touch, so I just…" He looks into Steve's eyes now, gaze piercing through him before trailing over his face as he continues, "I didn't want to break you too, not again." He laughs sadly then, and brings his hand up to his eyes, leaning his head back against the roof of the car. "But I _fucking_ did that _anyway_ didn't I?"

"Billy-" 

"Go back to the kids, Steve. I'll..I'll come apologize to Will. Just…give me a minute."

"Can we- can we talk later? Please?" God, he sounds so _desperate_ but he can't help it. He feels like Billy is trying to pull away and Steve thinks that he may be doing it because he thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy, and Steve can't let that happen. He knows how that feels. 

Billy's hand drops to his side. "Yeah. Yeah. We can talk. Are your parents home?"

Steve snorts. "That's a negative." 

"Then I'll come by late tonight, ok?"

He agrees and is about to walk away when Billy grabs his wrist. 

"I know you may not believe me, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. But I really _am_ sorry that I hurt you like that...I didn't know...didn't think you'd feel _that_ awful." 

The look he's giving Steve right now, like he's fucking terrified that he doesn't believe him and that he may hate Billy forever, _kills_ Steve. 

"I believe you." 

The relief he sees on his face is instantaneous and his shoulders slump like he's been tense as shit the whole time. And he guesses that he probably was. 

"Thanks." He says, and they stand there for a minute, just awkwardly looking at each other before he sees Billy's eyes flicker past him and he drops his wrist like he's been burned. 

He looks kind of terrified again and his face pales like it had the night Hopper threatened to arrest him. "Hey, man, you ok?" 

He moves to look behind him but Billy growls out, " _Don't turn around_." 

Something is really wrong here and it makes the hair on his neck stand up. "Ok, shit. Ok." 

After another second Billy jerks his head to the side. "Go back to the Diner. I'll be right behind you." 

"Are you-" 

"I'm fine. Just saw my old man's truck. I'll meet you there." 

Steve just nods because he knows Billy's dad is a _huge_ sore spot, but even when they're walking into the diner seven minutes later, he still can't shake the awful feeling he had when the blond caught sight of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... So the next chapter is going to be a tiny bit of a rough one for a plethora reasons.
> 
> Sorry.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a nasty run in with his father, Billy takes out some frustrations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may not be as bad as some feared, but there's still some shitty things happening. Please be mindful of the warnings 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠TRIGGER WARNINGS: ⚠⚠ ⚠
> 
> Overall Neil Hargrove Warning  
> Homophobic Slurs  
> Mild Descriptions of Injuries  
> Het intercourse between Billy/OC (thinks of Steve during)

Billy's laying on the living room floor listening to the dull sound of the TV when he regains consciousness. The evening sunlight is just fading outside the windows so he knows it hasn't been long. 

Thank _God_ Max was still at the Byers house for Will's party. 

It's not that he's in the _most_ horrible shape or anything, nothing is _broken_ , he would be able to tell, but the things his father had _said..._ Max shouldn't have to hear them. 

When he'd seen his father stop in front of the theatre, he knew it would be bad. There was nothing going on between him and Harrington, but he knew what Neil would _think_ he saw _._ He could just _hear_ the slurs in his head, bouncing around with all the other shit he was probably going to throw at him. 

He'd felt sick the whole time he was at the diner, for more than one reason. He _had_ been an asshole and when he saw Baby Byers face he wanted to just die right there in front of the counter and let the floor swallow him whole. The other hell beasts he could take or leave, but Will was different. He _did_ have a soft spot for him and he shouldn't have blown him off. _Especially_ because it was his birthday outing. He doesn't even know why he did it to begin with, other than just stupidly trying to avoid Harrington. But even then, he should have sucked it up because Will didn't deserve that. 

So, he'd apologized profusely. _Twice_. The best apology he'd ever made, honestly. And then he felt bad _again_ , because, hell, he'd apologized to Max for treating Lucas like shit, but he'd never actually told the kid sorry to his face, either. So he'd went ahead and sat down next to him and told him what a dick he was and that he doesn't hate him, he's sorry for hurting him and he'll never do it again and everyone had looked fucking _shocked;_ and ok, it _was_ fucking _weird_ , but he just felt like it needed to happen. Because a part of him was really worried that he may not get another chance to make amends. 

Harrington had been mostly quiet while they were there. He'd kept looking at Billy like he was _worried_ and fidgeted in his seat the entire time. He hated that, but he was pretty worried himself, so he couldn't really tell the brunet to cool his jets. It would have been just a bit hypocritical. 

He also tried to avoid Max's gaze because she knew his tells by now. She would have been able to sense his impending feelings of doom. She had also been giving him all kinds of hell about the way he'd been treating Steve, but she was the one that pointed out the danger of it all in the first place, so fuck her. She can't act all high and mighty about it now. 

By the end of it, she _did_ ask him if he was coming to Wills house with them, and his stomach dropped out because he really _wanted_ to. But he'd rather face his father alone and the longer he waited to go home the worse it would be. 

Harrington stopped him before he got into the car, though. Told him he _should still come over later. The couch is yours._ There was almost a desperation to it. Like he wanted to make sure Billy _knew_ he had a place to stay. It was kind of sweet and really unfortunate that he probably wouldn't make it over there. He didn't tell Harrington that, though. The dude was already a nervous fucking wreck about everything. 

Susan's car had been gone when he got home and his father was sitting on the couch. He'd felt almost suffocated by the angry aura surrounding the man. He _still_ doesn't understand what he's done to make his father _hate_ him so completely. He probably never will. 

He hadn't even been able to make it a couple steps inside before his father had been on him. He'd struck him so hard he nearly fell back into the door. Angry words were literally spit at his face and even though he hadn't been that scared in awhile, he'd already decided that he wasn't going to just take it this time. He pleaded his case like his life fucking depended on it. 

And luckily, by some fucking _miracle_ , in between a blow to the head and punch to the gut, he'd _finally_ convined his dad that what he'd seen had been the beginning of a _fight._ He'd screamed and told him it was over _Shelley_. The waitress he was taking on a date. Insisted that Neil could go to the fucking theatre if he didn't believe him and _ask_ the stupid kids that work there, because they _saw_ the dude come up and grab Billy away from her. 

That finally made him slow down and he'd looked thoughtful, saying that was actually a good idea before knocking him the fuck out with a good hit to the brow. 

Now, he's finally aware enough to sit up, to see that while the TV is on, his father is gone. He gently touches his eyebrow and yeah, it's split open. Probably got clipped with the damn _ring._ But at least his eyes aren't swollen shut and his nose is ok, right?

He wants to laugh _Ok_. Yeah. He's _ok_. He just got the crap knocked out of him for just _standing_ outside of a theatre with a guy. What was he supposed to do? Stand ten feet away from the male sex at all times lest his dad think he was _fucking_ all of them? 

It's _ridiculous_. 

And it's so fucking _stupid_ , because he basically just stomped _all over_ Harrington's insecurities and made him _cry_ for no god damned reason. He'd put the walls between them to fucking _protect_ Harrington from what he was. He'd been trying to keep his distance _just in case_ Neil ever got suspicious. But that had fucking happened _anyway._ He'd fucking hurt Steve, broken his trust, and it had been for _nothing._ Billy had still fucking got it. 

At least Neil hadn't seen Steve's face or was able to tell which car was his. He'd asked too many times for him to actually know. 

Small mercies. 

He slowly picks himself up off the floor and heads back to his room to get out of these clothes. He's a bit sore but it's not bad. The worst of it is the concussion he probably has, but even that is better than he'd expected in the grand scheme of things. 

His father's words are what stings the most right now. They keep repeating in his head as he fumbles around in his drawers to pull out new clothes, as he takes a couple Tylenol and finds shit to clean his damn face with. 

_"I really underestimated you, William. I thought moving you to this little country town would stop you from doing all your queer shit. But somehow you always surprise me."_

Well, it's nice to be underestimated, he supposes.

_"Is he a faggot too? Were you sucking each other's cocks in the back row? Bet you were. You like being on your knees don't you? Fucking disgusting."_

Yep, sure were. Right there in public. Because he _really_ wants to be beaten to death out back by some religious rednecks. 

_"What are we going to do when everyone here knows my son's a queer? Huh? You think I have the funds to move again? You want your sister to have to move again and lose her friends? Is that what you want you little bastard?"_

Which is it? Either you have the money to move or you don't. 

_"You know what you are, son? An abomination. You're sick. You taint everything you touch."_

Yeah. He's aware. He's _so very aware._

_"You want to know why your mama left? She knew what you were. She saw it and she left me to deal with it."_

Tears suddenly fall unbidden, because while many things his dad says about him are true, that one's _not._ His mom _loved_ him. She didn't leave because of Billy. She left because she'd been tired of being abused. She'd promised to come _back_ for him. Because she _loved him._ His dad was _wrong._ His dad kept her away. It wasn't his fault. It _wasn't_. 

And he _knows_ Neil says it to hurt him. He wants him to suffer. Wants him to beg, to bleed, to _cry_. Wants to teach him a lesson. 

_"I thought you learned your lesson before we left California. Do you really want a repeat performance?"_

Yeah, he'd learned some _lessons_ alright. Lessons in how long it takes fingers to heal when they're broken, and the sound a shoulder makes when it's popped out of its socket, or how it feels to breathe with a punctured lung, or how soon broken vessels in your eye return to normal and how not to freak out when you're pissing blood for two days. And no, he'd rather not have a fucking _repeat_ performance. 

But that's the problem, he hasn't _done_ a goddamn thing this time to warrant one. He hasn't hooked up with _one_ guy since leaving Cali. He's got a thing for Harrington, sure, but he's never going to _act_ on it. All his dad had even saw was them fucking standing together. _Jesus fuck_. He's still doing what he's been told. He's been playing by his dads rules. What more can he possibly want? He acts like Billy _wants_ to be a fag. Like he _wants_ to fuck guys just to _spite_ him. 

_Fuck_ , he wants to _scream_ at him. Tell him that if he could _stop_ wanting to suck dick, he _would_. Why would he purposely put himself in this situation? Why would he _want_ to give his dad a reason to _hate_ him, to _hurt_ him? He doesn't _want_ to be this way. He fucking _tries hard_ to be normal. Tries to make himself believe that rapture lies between a woman's thighs, but the whole time he's between them, he can't stop thinking about the heavy weight of a cock in his mouth or how it feels to have stubble rub across his neck. 

He wants to run his hands over broad shoulders and hard lines. He wants...he wants Steve fucking Harrington, ok? Wants to grind their cocks together until they cum. Wants to kiss him until it hurts, wants to dominate him, wants to _submit_ to him, but _fuck_ , he's not allowed to _have_ that. 

He can't entertain those thoughts, so he keeps laying the macho bad boy routine on thick. Flirts his way into pretty girls panties and even has a few lonely housewives eating out of the palm of his hand. But it's not enough, it's never fucking enough. He _still_ doesn't want them, and he could fuck every girl in this goddamn town and his father would still see a _faggot_ when he looked at him. 

What's the damn point then? Why torture himself by pretending to be something he's not? If his dad hasn't beaten the queer out of him by now, it just isn't gonna happen. 

His stomach hurts, his lip is busted, his eyebrow is _still_ bleeding, and he is so fucking _angry._ He wants to throw something, _hit_ something, _hurt something._

 _Fuck_. 

After cleaning his fucking eye and slapping a butterfly over the cut, he slams out of the house like a man on a mission and throws the Camaro into drive. He needs to be as far away from this place as possible. He needs to forget his fucking dad, forget who he is, and forget _Steve_. He needs an outlet. He needs to _do_ something . 

Turns out, that _som_ ething is in the form of a little college age brunette at the house party just outside of town that Mark had told him about earlier. It's too risky to find a guy to fuck around with here in bum fuck Indiana, but she's down to have a good time. Plus she's perfectly on board with his plan when he tells her he likes it rough. _Needs it rough._

She tells him that's hot and his bruises are sexy and he can even mark her up if he wants, and _yes,_ this was the best plan he'd had all night. 

She takes him to an upstairs bedroom and he practically slams her onto the dresser, teeth nipping at her collar bone and moving up her neck until he's slipping his tongue into her mouth. One hand is buried in her hair and the other is sneaking under her skirt, between her legs. Her hands push his jacket off his shoulders and he stops what he's doing to allow it to fall to the floor. He grabs her roughly and wraps her legs around his waist before hauling her up and making them both tumble onto the bed. 

Clothes are devested so fast he wonders if he'll find missing buttons later. She's just as anxious to get this going as he is so he rolls on a rubber, pushes her down and bites her neck, stroking himself to make sure he stays hard. She groans and leans back, legs spreading wide, and damn she's already so _wet._ There's no resistance when he goes straight to penetration, skipping foreplay altogether. 

Despite his injuries aching, he doesn't go easy on her either. It's kind of the point. There's no slow thrusts to get her acclimated, no encouraging words or gentle touches. It's hard and fast, nearly brutal because he doesn't want to think. If he does he will see the similarities.

Fuck. He came here to forget about him, but apparently he can't even do _that_ right. 

He pulls out and flips her onto her stomach. Her hips are wide and soft, but her tits are small enough that for a moment, with her face down on the bed, he can almost pretend she's someone else. Her hair is the same shade of brown and he tugs on it as he enters her from behind. Her moans are loud and high. They sound nothing like the soft baritone he's imagining but it's fine. He can work with that. 

He's picturing… fuck. He's picturing Harrington on his hands and knees, _begging_ Billy to just _give it to him._

He bets Harrington has a dirty fucking mouth too. Probably never used it on prim and proper Nancy Wheeler. Fuck. Billy wants to change that. He wants to hear a litany of curses pass through kiss swollen lips. Wants to hear him beg and moan for more. And fuck, he'd give him what ever he could take. He'd _ruin_ Steve for other people. 

He suddenly stops and flips them back over because this was supposed to get him to _stop_ thinking about Harrington. _Remember_. _You can't have him._

"Ride me." He commands, and the girl complies, sinking down on him in one fluid motion. 

He meets her movements as her hips rise and fall, her hands planted on his chest for balance. This is good, he thinks, he can handle this. He's not picturing Harrington any more. Just sees this nameless girl who is taking his dick like a pro. He digs his fingers into her hips and ruts up into her, making her cry out. He continues the vicious pace for a few moments just to watch her squirm and moan as her head tilts back. 

He wishes he could say that he thinks she's beautiful, or that she feels like _heaven_ or whatever bullshit people are supposed to feel in moments like this, but all he feels is _empty_. Because she's not what he wants. Not what he _needs_ . He nearly growls in frustration and he knows he's leaving bruises on her hips, but he doesn't care. He needs _more_ and she suddenly snaps her head forward, meeting his angry gaze. 

He's been in charge of this whole encounter from the beginning, so he's a little caught off guard when the girl gets a dark look in her eyes before ripping his hands off her hips and pressing them into the mattress above his head. He almost snaps at her, because _I'm the one in control,_ _bitch_ , but she's got him in a bruising kiss that hurts so good and there are hands releasing his wrists to wrap around his throat. They're _squeezing_ and _shit,_ he has to say, it's hot as fuck. She's picking up the pace and it feels like something is passing between their lips..is it blood? Had his cut reopened? Who the fuck cares, it's _good_ , it's so fucking good...until it's not. Until it's too much, until he's _choking on it_. 

He knows it's not the pressure, she's not even pressing very hard, his old man has done worse, but he still can't fucking _breathe_. It feels like his head is being stuffed with cotton balls, like smoke is creeping into every inch of him, and his eyes fly open because his senses are suddenly on _fire,_ and something feels _wrong, wrong wrong_ but then he's coming with a gasp and the girl goes rigid on top of him. 

He stares up at her, catching his breath and trying to form a coherent thought while she looks down at the hand still touching his throat. She's staring at it like she's never seen it before. 

Huh. Probably the first time she's ever done something like that. 

"Sorry, " She apologizes, and he snorts a laugh. "I didn't.. I didn't mean to do that."

"It's fine. Like I said, I like it rough." Is all he says and then he's getting dressed and slipping out the door before she can ask for a round two. 

He has a splitting headache and just wants to finish his night at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, but when he gets downstairs he feels so damn weird and it's probably not a good idea to get trashed right now. He needs to just sleep it off or something, but he can't go back to his house. His dad may decide to go ahead and teach him another lesson after all. 

Fuck. 

_Can we talk?_ He can hear Harrington's voice in his head as he maneuvers through the crowds of people. 

_I'll come over late tonight, ok?_

_The couch is yours._

He _had_ told Harrington that he'd come over if he could. It was like two in the morning, that still counts right? The bastard is probably still awake and worrying over his stupid ass because he's such a fucking _good person_. Billy really doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as Steve, but he can't help the longing he feels in his heart to go to him. 

He makes it to his car in record time and heads back into town. He still feels strange and he knows this is probably stupid. No, not _probably._ It is _definitely_ stupid, but he just needs to feel…safe or some shit.

So, he keeps going until he makes it to Loch Nora. When he pulls up to the house he can see the lights on upstairs and takes a deep breath. He looks like shit and probably smells fucking _worse,_ but he can't keep running away from this. He's tired of trying. He _wants_ Harrington and even if he can't have him, maybe he can still salvage their friendship. God, he hopes he can salvage it because he really needs a fucking friend right now. 

He really _really_ does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how was it folks? 
> 
> As bad as you thought? Better? Let me know 😁


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finds a broken Billy on his porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild gay panic at the end of this chapter
> 
> Unbeta'd but if there is a glaring mistake tell me, yo!

Steve wasn't waiting for Billy to show up, ok, he wasn't. He just so happened to have the urge to clean the kitchen at midnight, and then vacuum his room at one. It wasn't because he was _anxious or worried_ , he just had too much energy, that's all. 

But his heart still slams against his ribcage when he hears the soft roar of a familiar engine pulling up to the house around two thirty in the morning. 

Steve nearly trips out of bed, legs getting caught in the blankets in his hurry to get downstairs. 

He can see Billy's silhouette through the glass, the orange glow of his cherry breaking up the complete darkness of the night. He's already talking as he opens the door for him. "When you said _late_ , I guess you really meant-" _What the - "Fuck."_ Billy looks _awful._ His eye is black, his lip is busted and there's a red tinged butterfly bandage on his eyebrow. He's slouching kind of weird too. Steve tries so hard not to wince on his behalf. 

Billy raises a hand in greeting, but the smile he gives doesn't reach his eyes. "Hey, Pretty Boy. That couch still open?" 

"You gonna tell me what the hell happened first?" He asks, pointing at the bandage. 

The blond grimaces. "Please, Steve. Don't.. Don't ask me. I can't talk about that right now."

It's the way he says his name that stops him from pressing. He doesn't use it much, only when things get soft and personal, or if he's angry and trying to make a point. And well, he's not angry right now. 

"Ok, Billy. I won't.. I won't ask about them tonight. But you look…you're fucking shaking, man." 

Billy looks down and his eyes widen slightly, like he hadn't even realized he was. 

"Come on." Steve grabs his wrist and tugs him inside, shutting and locking the door behind him. He pulls him along into the living room. "Sit." He says, and watches the boy collapse on the couch. "I'll be right back." 

He heads to his upstairs bathroom to get the first aid kit and then stops by his room to grab a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. He figures Billy won't want to sleep in jeans all night. 

He comes back down and Billy hasn't moved a muscle, but he's not shaking anymore. He's staring blankly at a spot above the TV, like he's checked out, like he's somewhere else entirely, and Steve understands that too well. Sometimes he's in the tunnels, in the Upside Down. He doesn't know where the hell Billy is. 

He sits on the coffee table in front of the other boy and gets out the disinfectant and the wet washcloth to scrub the crusted blood off his face. It looks like he'd cleaned some of it up at some point, but he missed a few spots. 

He gently cleans his face and Billy sits still and quiet as he reapplies a new butterfly bandage to his eyebrow. Billy had done a shit job of it before and it's probably going to scar now. 

"You hurt anywhere else?" He asks when he's done. 

Billy searches his face for a moment. "Not anywhere you can help me with Harrington," He answers honestly. 

That makes Steve feel even worse. "I brought down some more comfortable clothes, if you want them." 

He nods and takes the offering. 

Steve wrinkles his nose as he shrugs out of his jacket. He smells like sweat, and booze, and…sex. He feels sick with the thought. "Where.. Um… where were you before you came here?"

"Went to some party to blow off steam." He says with a sigh, hands rubbing the fabric of Steve's loaned shirt with his fingers. "Fucked this random chick, which...some weird shit happened _there,_ like..kinda fucked up shit, but yeah."

He stops explaining and finishes unbuttoning his shirt. Steve gasps when he sees a bruise blooming on his abdomen. 

" _Billy."_

Billy knows what he's looking at and reaches out to stop Steve's hand from touching it. "You _said_ you wouldn't ask."

"I know. And I won't. I just…it doesn't look good." 

"I'm _fine_ , Pretty Boy." He tells him, pulling the new shirt over his head and standing up to unfasten his jeans. "Actually, now that I'm here, I feel a hell of a lot better about it. So, leave it alone. Ok? " 

"You feel better here?" He asks stupidly, staring at the hand pulling down his zipper. 

Billy pauses, "Uh, yeah. I thought going to that party and having a round of rough sex would make me feel more in control, but it didn't. I just…all I could think about afterward was coming here and seeing you."

His stomach twists with the reminder that he just slept with someone and then he can't help but wonder why Billy wanted to come here after _that_. "Why? " 

His eyes bore into his, face scrunching up as he sits back down, fly still open but not giving a shit. " _Why_?" He asks incredulously. "It's because I fucking _missed you_ , Steve. The last month…it's been _hell_. It fucking _killed_ me not being able to see you, not being able to joke around or talk or smoke together. I _hated_ brushing you off and seeing you get confused when I treated you like shit. I fucking _hated_ all of it."

His stomach twists again, but in a different way. Billy had _missed_ him. But, if that was the case why the fuck? "Why did you do it, then? If you hated it so much, if you _missed_ me, why did you run away?" 

It makes no sense. 

"Because I'm fucked up, Harrington." He replies, his voice heavy with burden. "I _told_ you. I don't know _how_ to be happy. I've never kept friends long. Shit always goes south and things..things were great, _too_ great with you. I'm not used to that, so I got scared waiting for the other shoe to drop. I cut my losses and fucking booked it before I could hurt you worse." 

Steve feels like he is still leaving something out, but decides not to push him about it. 

"Are you done running?" He asks him, tone serious and voice low."because if you _aren't_ then we can't be friends." Billy nearly _whines_ at that and Steve frowns. "I _want_ to be your friend, though, and I'll forgive you for hurting me, no matter what your answer is, but if you're going to run again then I _need_ to know. Because I won't let you hurt me a second time, Billy. I don't deserve to be tossed away like I'm nothing." He can feel the tears pricking behind his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. 

Billy's hands ball into fists while he hangs his head, staring at the floor. "I don't..I don't _want_ to run away anymore. But fuck. I don't know how to _stay._ And I don't know how to keep living like this. I'm so _angry_ all the time and I can't do it _alone_ anymore. I need… I _need_ you, Steve." His voice cracks and Steve can hear the cries he's holding back. "I'm fucking _drowning."_

Before he realizes what's happening, Steve is kneeling on the floor between Billy's legs, one hand gripping the outside of his thigh while the other gently tilts his jaw back so he can look him in the eye. "Hey, it's ok. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." His thumb brushes just underneath his bottom lip. 

Billy bites that lip now, reopening the cut as he struggles not to cry. He looks half angry and half relieved to have Steve's hands on him, stroking his face and telling him everything is going to be fine. 

He shakes his head. "No, you don't _get it._ There's something _wrong_ with me. I'm not _normal_. I can't ask you to stick around. I shouldn't even be here. I shouldn't be selfish with you." 

"First of all, there's nothing wrong with you." He says, taking his hand off his face and holding up two fingers, "And second, if _anyone_ is being selfish here, it's me. I can't _stand_ the thought of not being your friend and going back to ignoring each other. I fucking refuse to do that. So, suck it up, buttercup, you're stuck with me now, whether you like it or not." 

Billy huffs out a laugh and places a hand on top of the one resting on his thigh. "Thanks. I mean it. I appreciate you putting up with my bullshit tonight." 

_Bullshit_ . It's that word again. He _hates_ it. 

"It's not bullshit man. You're dealing with something _horrible_ . Something _scary._ I can tell, alright. You're hurting and doing crazy shit like snorting drugs, and driving drunk, and fucking anything that walks to just make the ache stop, right? I _do_ get that." He moves back up to sit on the coffee table again, but his hand still rests on Billy's leg, like he refuses to lose contact with him. "My parents? Don't know if you've noticed, but they're not around. My Dad owns a condo in Chicago where one of the branches of his company is located, and him and my mom basically live there. They started leaving for a few weeks when I was thirteen. It became more frequent when I started highschool and then became pretty much permanent when I got my license." 

"At first it was cool, having the house to myself. We have a housekeeper and I always have money in my account for groceries or whatever, but I started feeling lonely after a while. The house felt cold and empty. I felt like I had done something wrong to make them leave. To not take me with them. I couldn't understand why they left me all the time. I _still_ don't really know and it's like there's this _hole_ in my chest and I tried so hard to fill it. Became _King Steve_ to _hide_ it. I started throwing parties every weekend. Got drunk, got high, picked on people, and fucked any girl that batted her eyelashes at me. I did whatever I could to fill the stupid void, to stop the ache in my chest, but nothing ever worked for long. I was surrounded by people but I was still _totally alone."_

Billy is just staring at him, mouth open slightly and hanging on to his every word. 

"But then I found _Nancy_ , and it felt real. She made me want to be better. Was there for me, and suddenly the ache stopped. I stopped hiding behind _King Steve_ and stopped all my self destructing behavior. Having Nancy _helped_ , and even though it didn't work out in the end, I still had her as a friend. I have the kids and I have Jonathan." He stares hard into his eyes, wants him to know he's dead serious when he says, "I have _you._ It doesn't have to _hurt_ anymore, Billy. You don't have to _run_ anymore. You don't have to be alone. Understand? I'm _here_."

Blue eyes dart around his face, looking from his eyes to his mouth and back again before his hands grab Steve's shirt and he lunges forward, pulling him into a bruising kiss. 

At first Steve is too shocked to fully grasp the situation, but then he tastes the copper of Billy's blood and yeah, he's being _kissed_. By _Billy Hargrove_.

But...he sleeps with girls? He's not…so why is he kissing _Steve_? There's probably a totally reasonable explanation, and he'll probably back off in a second, Steve thinks, so he doesn't do anything other than relax into Billy's touch. 

Instead of leaning back to break free, he opens his mouth- not even to protest because _fuck_ it actually feels kind of _good-_ but to allow the others boys tongue to slip inside. His hands move to find purchase, one snaking into Billy's hair and the other grabbing his shoulder. Billy's hands are slowly moving too, resting on Steve's hip and back as he kisses him harder. 

His head is swimming and he thinks he should probably stop this because Billy doesnt seem to want to and _what the fuck?_ This is _not_ something that friends do, not something that two _guys_ do, but he feels the desperation in the blonds touches. Like he needs to kiss Steve to _breathe._

Like he needs to _touch_ him to make sure he's _real_ , to make sure he's not _leaving_. So, Steve lets him deepen the kiss, and he kisses back in response because he wants to prove to him that he doesn't have to worry. He's not leaving. Not now. He can give him _this_ at least. 

And it feels so good. Like his body is sparking with electricity. A heavy hand roams up his torso and stops on the back of his neck, fingers pressing and then tugging on his hair. It goes right to his groin and Steve moans into the hot mouth devouring him, wants to feel it _again_ , but then suddenly Billy and his hand and his _mouth_ are _gone,_ and he's left with cool air in his face and a bit of blood on his tongue. 

When Steve blinks he sees Billy's back is pressed firmly against the couch cushions and he's breathing hard, looking at Steve with _horror_ and he's sputtering "I'm sorry. I'm so _sorry_ , Steve. I didn't..please don't be mad. I didn't mean to do that. _Jesus_. What the fuck?" 

A tiny part of Steve is slightly stung that it was apparently an accident, but the other parts of him are scrambling to make sure Billy knows it's ok. He's not angry. He doesn't want him to _run_ again. 

"It's ok." He assures him, hands springing forward in a placating manner. "I'm not mad. I swear. You needed it, right? The contact? Something _real_?" His heart is pounding in his chest as he talks because honestly, this kiss has done something to him and he doesn't want Billy to see it. "It surprised me for a second, but it wasn't half bad as far as kisses go." He jokes to ease the tension between them, to ease his growing anxiety. 

Billy looks a little less horrified now and more curious as he nods slowly. "Uh, yeah. Yeah. I just… no one has ever understood and nobody has ever _said_ that shit to me. I just kinda… lost it. I'm sorry." 

Well, that's good right? Things don't have to be awkward or change. He's not running away. And sure, Steve got a little turned on but it's fine. This is good. 

"Don't worry about it. Seriously. You've had a fucked night. I won't hold it against you." 

Billy watches him closely as he stands up and heads to the kitchen. He brings back a glass of water and some pain meds. "You should take these and get some sleep. You look like shit."

Billy smirks and takes the pills and the glass. "Thanks, _mom_." 

Steve rolls his eyes. "Whatever, fucker. Go to sleep." 

He leaves Billy to change into his sweat pants and sleep it off on the couch, his steps heavy as he climbs the stairs to go back to his bed room. 

He doesn't know how to feel about all of this. About the events of the day. About Billy. About the kiss. About the reckless behavior. Shit. He knows he's not his damn keeper, he's not really his _anything,_ other than his friend _,_ but it hurts to see him so self destructive. So starved for meaningful contact that he _kissed_ Steve when he realized he wasn't going to abandon him. That is so upsetting to think about. He wants to know what has happened to him for him to react that way. 

And the bruises on his face, on his stomach, the cut on his eyebrow, they make Steve _furious._ He wants to march right back down there and demand that Billy tell him the truth. He wants him to admit it was his dad. It _has_ to be. Steve felt the fear radiating off him when he saw his dad's truck. It had to be the answer. He wants to know _why._ Why Mr. Hargrove is putting his hands on his son like that. Wants to _hurt_ him like he's hurt Billy. 

Because Billy should never feel like he does now. His face should never look like that. He's too good looking to be covered in black and purple. His lips are too soft looking to be cracked and split. His body should never be hunched over, aching in pain. In pleasure, maybe, but not in _pain_ . He should never look so lost and defeated. He should never cry because he's afraid. He should always be smiling, laughing. He's so damn _beautiful_ when he laughs. 

Steve's heart stutters at the thought. 

_Did he just…_

He thinks Billy is _beautiful_? 

_Oh, no. Oh, fuck._

Images race through his head. Blonde curls that look even better without the gel, bright eyes that darken so quickly when he's angry, even more so when he _flirts,_ a fucking cocky smirk, the way he holds a cigarette between his lips and his body when he's on the court, when it's pressed against _Steve…_

Yeah. _Yeah_. He thinks he's beautiful and then some. 

_Shit._

Steve's knees buckle and he slides down the wall near his bed. 

How had he _not_ realized before? Was it the kiss? Had it jarred something loose inside of him? 

He thinks of the first time they smoked a joint together. 

_Oh, my god._

_No_. It's been there for awhile. He _knows_ . He can _feel_ it. 

Like the reason he'd been so upset about Billy hooking up with those girls when he'd stopped coming around, the anger he felt about seeing him with _Shelley_ at the theatre, and the burning he felt in his gut knowing he'd just had crazy angry sex with some random chick tonight...it was _jealousy._

_Holy shit! He was fucking jealous._

He didn't want Billy sleeping with anyone else because... _Steve_ fucking wanted to sleep with him. But he wasn't… he wasn't _queer_? Right? He dated so many girls, he'd slept with most of them, and hell, he's fucking _loved_ Nancy for over a year. So he couldn't be… right? 

Again, he thinks about all the times Billy had aimed his flirtatious smirk at him, about how it made his breath catch in his throat. He thought about what Billy's voice did to him when it got all low and predatory even when it wasn't Steve he was talking to. He thought about the night he'd leaned into his space after Steve had yelled _Fuck you, Hargrove_ jokingly out the window when picking up the kids _._ He'd gotten so _close,_ and said, _"If that's what you wanted, all you had to do was ask, Pretty Boy."_

His dick twitches at _that_ memory in particular, and shit, it had twitched when it had _happened_ too. He just refused to acknowledge it at the time. He'd refused to acknowledge everything his body had been doing in response to Billy Hargrove for _awhile._

How long had he been in denial about this? 

He remembers New Years Eve and how he couldn't keep his hands off of Billy. It suddenly makes a lot of fucking sense. 

From the moment he'd met the bastard he'd known he was objectively good looking. He was sure everyone would agree with him. But he hadn't thought… fuck when had it gone from just passively admiring his physique to wanting to get his tongue all over that? 

Oh, what the _fuck?_ He did _not_ just think that. 

His cock stiffens at the thought of running his tongue up the column of his throat and he _knows_ how Billy's tongue feels against him now so that paints a prettier picture and he throws his head back against the wall in agonizing defeat. 

It's official. He wants to _fuck_ Billy Hargrove. The thought of Billy pressing him down, down, _down_ into his bed also flashes across his mind and he lets out a loud groan. 

_Oh, my god_. He _maybe_ wants Hargrove to fuck _him_ too. He's not exactly _sure_. 

What he _is_ sure of, though, is that he does want him. So, he still likes _girls_ , but he also apparently likes _Billy_. He doesn't know what the fuck that _means_ exactly, but it does scare the shit out of him. Because he doesn't know if Billy was telling him the truth about the kiss down stairs. He had a feeling that he just agreed with what Steve was saying out of fear of rejection. Which he can't blame him for _at all._

He just finds himself hoping it _was_ a lie, because he doesn't know how the fuck he's supposed to face him now that he's realized the truth about himself. He won't abandon him, he'd _never_ do that, not after he finally started opening himself up to Steve, but he is a bit terrified. Because if Billy _was_ telling the truth, then he needs to shove whatever feelings he's getting for him deep down so he can be the friend Billy _needs_. The friend he deserves. 

He's determined to be that for him. He _can_ be that. He just needs to figure out where Billy stands because if he isn't like Steve, then he needs to find a way to stop this feeling from creeping out of his chest and ruining everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, please don't hate me!  
> I promise it's all going to be worth it! 
> 
> And the season 3 plot is just peeking it's head out now. So there's a lot to look forward to. 😊
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El knows something is wrong and Steve has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the first part of this chapter is in El's POV because Hopper will start coming around more because of what she tells him. 
> 
> Also, her POV is written differently because of how her communication skills are not top notch just yet. I hope I do her justice and you enjoy the chapter 😊

El knows she's not suppose to snoop without permission. Jim says it's not a nice thing to do. He says something about _privacy,_ and how people may get mad at her for looking, but sometimes El does it anyway. When she gets the feeling. Like someone is _hurt._

She used to check on Mike first, and then Jim if he was gone. She is scared to lose them the most. But every time she got the feeling, they were fine. She would look for all her friends one by one, but they were fine too. 

She thought maybe her powers were broken. Maybe she didn't know what they were trying to tell her. 

But then she went to the _Snow Ball_ with Mike and finally found the source. 

The others had talked about Max's brother before. Mike really doesn't like him. Everyone says he's a "jerk" and other names Jim tells her not to repeat, but she feels it when she opens the door. When she sees him. It's strong. The hurt. The hiding. 

It's the same feeling. Same as her. When she was with _Papa._

She scares him. She knows she does. She can see fear and worry. He was warned about her powers but she thinks it is probably different. He never saw her use them. He runs away. 

She starts _really_ snooping after that. When she feels the pull, she knows who it is. She looks for him. Finds him. Never in time to see what hurts him. Just sees tears. Bruises. Anger. She wonders if it _his papa_ too. 

He is usually alone when she finds him, but she has seen Max too. Talking to him. One time he yelled at her. She cried. Another time they sat on the floor together. They didn't talk but Max gave him a bandaid and he smiled at her. She wants to ask Max when she comes over what hurts him, if it's their papa, but Mike will yell at her for snooping, so she doesn't. 

Something is different tonight. The pull is strange. He is _so_ angry. Like she was angry when she closed the gate. She looks for him. He is bleeding and wiping his face. It makes her mad but she is stuck. She watches him try to put something over the cut. His hands shake the whole time. He runs and gets in his car and she loses him. 

She can still feel the pull but she doesn't try to look again. She goes to bed and tries to forget the boy with angry eyes, and she does until it wakes her up. It is strongest at one-five-one. It _scares_ her so she grabs her blindfold and runs to turn on the TV in the living room. She can hear Jim somewhere behind her but she tries to focus. 

He is stumbling down some stairs but she doesn't know any of the people that are with him. He looks sad and maybe scared too. She doesn't have a word for how his face looks when he pushs through people. Then he is in his car again and she knows she can't follow so she takes off her blindfold and wipes her nose. 

"Mind telling me what you're doing, kid?" 

"Snooping." She says. Friends don't lie. 

"Yeah, I kinda figured that. Who were you looking for?" 

"Billy."

Jim looks… _surprised_ is the word. "Billy Hargrove?" She nods. "Why are you looking for him?"

"I know when he gets hurt. It woke me up."

"You _know_ when he gets _hurt_? What kind of hurt we talkin about here?" 

She points to her face, her head, and then her stomach. "Bruises." She says, then touches her eyebrow. "Blood." 

He looks at her for awhile. "Jane, sometimes people fight. This kid, he's gotten in fights at school. He duked it out with Steve Harrington even. It's a Saturday night. He probably got into it with someone at a party." 

She shakes her head. "Not school. Not _party_. When I find him he's always in his room. In his house."

That makes Jim frown. "Wait...How often do you feel these… feelings or whatever they are?"

"Sometimes a lot. Sometimes a long time goes by." 

"And he's always at his house? Do you…do you see what hurts him?"

"No. Never look in time." 

"Shit. Ok." She watches Jim walk back and forth across the floor. "You said he's bleeding?" 

She nods and touches her eyebrow again. 

"Was he walking ok?" 

She thought about how he walked down the stairs. "He moved funny. But he got in his car."

He crouches down in front of her. "I need you to find him again. Can you do that? I need to know where he is and if he's ok." 

His voice is calm but his words sound worried. She does what he asks because she is worried too. 

It takes awhile to find him this time. When she finally sees him he is on a couch, but not one she has seen before. "He is at a different house." She sees Steve sitting down on a table and asking him questions. "He's with Steve." 

She hears Jim talking. "Harrington? It's 2:30 in the morning, why the hell is he at Harrington's?" 

"They are talking."

"Ok. Does he look alright?"

She walks closer and can see hurt on both of their faces. "His eye looks better. He has different clothes. They are both sad. Steve looks halfway mad."

He clears his throat. "Ok, kid. That's good enough. We know where he is and we know he's not in immediate danger." 

She waits a second before taking off the blindfold though. She's.. _.curious_ is the word. Their hands are together and Steve has a serious face. The kind Jim gets when he wants El to understand something. 

If she focused harder she knows she would be able to hear what he's saying. She tries not to do that, though. Sometimes she hears words she shouldn't. Her hand reaches back to pull, but before she can, she sees Billy grab Steve and put his mouth on Steve's mouth. 

She pulls off the cloth fast and Jim is staring at her. 

"Kissing," She says because she learned that word at the Snow Ball. 

Jim looks surprised again. "What do you mean _kissing?_ "

She thinks Jim is old enough to know this but she can explain. "When you like someone you put your mouth on their-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." His voice sounds funny and he talks faster. "I know what kissing is, kid. I just meant.. _Those_ two were kissing? Are you sure?"

"Yes." 

" _Jesus Christ_. Ok. Listen to me. Do. Not and I _repeat_. _Do_ _not_ look for him anymore tonight. And don't tell anyone else what you saw."

"Not even Mike?" 

"Nope. No one." 

"But friends don't lie." 

He sighs hard. "El, sometimes we keep things we know or see to ourselves. Like we shouldn't be spy- er _snooping_ on people without asking because of the things we might see or hear. Understand? "

She does. Kind of. "Understand." 

"Ok, good. They probably wouldn't want anyone to know that they were kissing. It's not…" He looks like he is in pain. "it's not something that normally happens around here."

"Kissing doesn't happen?"

He runs a hand down his face. "No, I mean. Boys don't usually kiss other boys. It's not.. It's just something that should be a secret unless they _want_ people to know. So you can't say anything. Ok?" 

"Ok. I won't say anything." 

"Good girl." He pats her head and she smiles. "Ok. I think that's enough adventure for tonight. I'll see if I can get Hargrove to tell me what's been happening to him, but I doubt he'll say a word. Just tell me the next time you get that feeling and we will try to help him."

"I will." She says. 

"Now, go back to bed. And _no more_ snooping."

She gets up and heads back to her room. "Promise." 

* * *

  
Billy is fucking _reeling_.

He's lying on the most comfortable couch, under the worlds softest damn blanket, yet he _still_ can't sleep. Every time he closes his eyes he either sees his father's angry face, the girl at the party choking him or he sees the kiss. They all make his stomach roll. 

He doesn't know why he gave into the urge to kiss him. It had just been something he _had_ to do. He couldn't have stopped himself if he _tried_ . He'd been spiraling before he showed up at Steve's house. His body hurt and his emotions had gone haywire. He couldn't control them anymore. He felt sick, and scared, and so very _exhausted_. 

And then Steve had sat in front of him. Cleaned him up and showed how much he _cared_ about him. He was worried and wanted Billy to feel safe and wanted him to know he wasn't going anywhere. He doesn't remember the last time anyone has ever stuck around for him. 

His mom, he thinks. His mom was the last one, and she still hadn't been able to keep her promise to come for him. He shouldn't even believe _Harrington_ because if his own _mom_ can't stick around, why should anyone else? 

But when Steve had said it, had said he doesn't have to hurt, doesn't have to be _alone_ anymore, Billy believed it. Because after all the shit he'd just put Steve through, he was still kneeling in front of him, practically begging for Billy to believe that he doesn't have a reason to run anymore. 

And _fuck_ , all the feelings he's been harboring for the other boy just spilled out in that kiss. It was like a tidal wave crashing into them. He'd been drowning all night in the darkness that surrounded him, and he'd been _terrified_ of it, but he honestly wouldn't mind one bit if he drowned in Steve Harrington's kiss. 

It felt _right._ Even kissing Matty hadn't felt like this. And now… now he doesn't know what to _do_ . It's kind of too late to jump back in the closet, but he thinks he _might_ have played it off well. He'd followed Steve's lead easily enough, but it still doesn't feel like it should. He'd kissed a straight boy before. It definitely hadn't turned out like this. 

Steve had said it wasn't a big deal and that he wouldn't hold it against him, and sure that would be great if he had immediately pushed Billy away, but he _hadn't._ And that's what confuses him. Steve had kissed _back_ , and he'd been so lost in the surprise sensation that he didn't immediately pull away when realized what he'd done. 

It had been so easy to slip his tongue into Steve's mouth, to run his hands along his body and sink his fingers in his perfect fucking hair. It had even felt great when Steve groaned into his mouth, but it had also woke him the fuck up. 

Steve isn't just some random guy he can kiss and then go about his business like it never happened. He's his friend, his _only_ damn friend, and he fucking _needs_ him. He can't afford to fuck this up. 

He was so damn scared that he'd ruined everything, but Steve just sat there, placating him and speaking calmly like they didn't just make out in the middle of his fucking living room. He even looked pretty damn unphased at first, his words careful and precise, but Billy could tell something was happening underneath it all. His eyes seemed panicked, his movements as he went to retrieve water and medicine were jerky, like he couldn't quite remember how to walk. 

So, not unphased, then. But not angry either. 

Billy doesn't know what the fuck to do with that. 

He groans and buries his face in the throw pillows. He's so _stupid_. It was such a bad idea to come here. Hopefully Steve isn't upstairs secretly plotting to kill him, or out him or something. 

Yeah, right. Even if Steve _hated_ him for pulling that shit, he'd never out Billy. The guy forgave his ex for _cheating_ on him, he's too damn nice to do that. 

The clock on the wall reads 5:34 the next time he bothers to look. He decides it's pointless, he's not going to get any kind of sleep, and grabs his jeans from the floor. His cigarettes are in his pocket and he pulls one out. 

He contemplates putting on his jacket but decides against it, wrapping the blanket around him instead. He goes out the sliding glass door in the back and lights up just past the threshold, not bothering to shut it behind him. The pool is illuminated and he thinks it would be a pretty sweet deal if a girl hadn't like _died_ in it. 

He's still thinking about how shitty it is that Harrington has to live by himself in this house and look at the damn pool all the time when he hears a scream. He knows who it is and all the hairs on his body rise at the sound. 

He drops his cigarette and books it back inside. The bruises on his stomach ache like a bitch but the adrenaline rushing through his veins keep the pain at bay as he runs up the stairs. 

When he gets to Steve's bedroom he just bursts through the door. He really doesn't think there's an intruder because he would have heard it, but who the fuck knows if that other world decided to fucking open back up in the Harrington's fucking house. 

He's breathing heavy but relaxes a bit when he realizes that there is no outside threat. The only threat in the room is the one in Steve's head. 

Every light is on and he's asleep in the middle of the bed, hands pulling at his blankets while he screams. They are wrapped tightly around him. 

Billy thinks he knows what he's dreaming about. 

_Tunnels. Vines._

He carefully climbs onto the bed and starts trying to untangle the blankets from around the thrashing boy. He gets smacked a few times for his efforts but it barely registers. 

" _Steve_ ." He says firmly, prying off the fingers scratching into his arm. "You _need_ to wake up. It's a dream. It's a dream!" 

He finally gets him out of the covers but he's still scrambling to get away. Billy let's him and he falls onto the floor with a thud. The screaming and panting stop. 

" _Fuck._ " 

Billy peeks over the edge of the bed. Steve is breathing heavy and he can see the hair matted to his neck with sweat. "You good?" He asks, and nearly gets clocked again. "Whoa. Whoa. It's ok. Just me."

" _Billy_? Oh, my _god._ " He picks himself up off the floor and runs his shaking hands through his hair. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" 

"No, I was outside smoking." He watches him pace around, trying to calm himself down. "You were in the tunnels." He says quietly. "Weren't you?" 

Brown eyes widen. "Did I- did I say something?" 

"No, you were just fighting off your blankets like you were clawing at vines." He doesn't mention the fact that he clawed Billy up too. 

"Yeah." He breathes deeply. "That.. That's exactly what it was." 

"It's ok, Harrington. You're safe now. No tunnels here." 

"Yeah. I know. _Shit_." He sighs and sits down on the bed. "It's just...been awhile." 

"Want me to-" He motions to the door. 

"No! Uh- no. I uh would rather you stay. If you want." 

He can tell that Steve is still rattled so no matter how uncomfortable this might end up being for _Billy_ he just nods his head and grabs up all the blankets from where he'd tossed them on the floor. 

He maneuvers two pillows around and leans back against the headboard. It's actually pretty comfortable. He could probably sit just like this for hours. 

He watches silently as Steve gets up and moves around the room. He checks the windows to make sure they're locked, looks in his closet, drags a bat out from under his bed and starts padding out into the hallway where he turns on the light. "I'll be right back." 

"Want me to come with you?"

"No. I just need to check things real quick." 

Billy knows he's checking locks and turning on lights. He gets it. Steve needs to feel safe after having that rough of a nightmare. So he just sits and waits for him to return. 

He eventually does and sets the bat against the night stand before flopping down onto the bed. "Sorry about all that." He says, staring up at the ceiling. 

"It's fine, man. I get it." 

Steve just makes a noise of agreement and continues to stare up. Billy stays quiet because he doesn't know how Harrington usually gets through these things and would rather not make it worse. 

After awhile he sighs really deep and sits up to look at him. "Can I just-" He makes a vague motion at Billy's chest and then continues when he doesn't say anything. "I know it's weird but I'm like fucking exhausted." 

Billy blinks. 

Oh. 

He opens one arm in invitation and Steve sighs in relief, pulling a blanket around him before basically burrowing himself into Billy's side. "Thanks." He murmurs when his head finally rests on his chest. 

"No problem." He replies quietly, even though this could in fact, be a really big fucking problem. But he pushes the fear and uncertainty to the back of his mind as he gently wraps an arm around Steve. 

Hell, this might be the only fucking time he'll get to have him in his arms, he's not going to waste it by freaking the fuck out. 

He can feel that Steve is still tense as shit, so after awhile he moves his hand to card his fingers through his hair. He stiffens at first but then finally, _finally_ relaxes into his ministrations. 

Billy sits there, practically petting him until he hears his breath slow and feels his body sink into slumber and he feels like he's done something right, if only getting him to fall asleep. It makes him happy that he can at least do _this_ , and he absentmindedly strokes his hair until he feels his own exhaustion creeping up. 

The sky is transitioning from black to light purple outside the window by the time he finally drifts off to sleep, and when he dreams he doesn't see his father, or Harrington's face. Instead he dreams of a shadow gently caressing his skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel like I just sit here and write things that y'all don't expect but I swear I have an outline lol things happen for a reason 😊


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a little embarrassed and Hopper tells Billy a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd as usual. 
> 
> I am so thrilled that you all are so excited about this fic, because I'm having a blast writing it. 
> 
> That being said, I hope you guys are ready, because it's going to be a long one. I fully plan on writing through to the S3 timeline, but there will NOT be a goop monster. I'm treating this as a possession fic, not a monster fic. No one is going to explode or eat fertilizer.

Sunlight was streaming through the windows when Steve finally opened his eyes. 

The first thing he notices is that his pillow is _moving_ , the second thing he notices is that his _pillow_ is actually Billy's _chest._ His arm is laying across his stomach and one leg has _somehow_ tangled itself with one of Billy's. The blond still has an arm wrapped around him and the other rests on his lower stomach, hand tucked just under the hem of his borrowed shirt. Steve's hair flutters every time he takes a breath, and he's still breathing slow, still asleep. It takes all of five seconds for the panic to set in. 

_What the fuck? What the fuck?_

Then he sees angry red lines on Billy's arm and he suddenly remembers the nightmare. They'd been running through the tunnels, him and Billy, but they were lost and the vines were bigger, stronger. They'd overtaken them both, wrapping around them, tightening, _tightening_. 

He'd woken up when he'd fallen on the floor, but apparently Billy had been trying to wake him up. Had untangled him from his blankets and gotten scratched for his trouble. 

Steve feels _horrible_. 

Not only had he done _that_ , but he'd been so upset by the dream that he didn't want Billy out of his sight. Didn't want him to disappear into a pile of vines. Asked him to _stay_ with him like a little kid. 

Oh, my god. This is embarrassing as hell. 

He needs to get up. He can't just lay here half on top of his _friend_ , who he may have super complicated feelings for, no matter how comfortable and warm it is. 

And _god_ he's really comfortable. He hadn't slept that hard in _months._

But he kind of has to pee so he definitely needs to get up. Maybe he can just- he slowly lifts his hand but there's really no where for him to put it, to get enough leverage to slip out of Billy's grasp without waking him. 

He sighs. Oh, well. 

He wiggles around a little bit and the arm around him lets go. He takes the opportunity to sit up as Billy rubs his eye then hisses when it hurts. He must have forgotten about the cut. 

"What time is it?" He mumbles. 

Steve detaches himself from his legs and looks at the alarm clock. "1:25. Damn." 

Billy sits up and blinks a couple times. "I guess we both needed the sleep."

"Yeah." He replies dumbly, because he can't think of one thing to say right now. Should he apologize for last night? He probably should. 

Billy is frowning at him so he assumes he's making some kind of face. "You ok?"

"I'm fine. Just," He points to the scratches on his arm. "I scratched you up pretty good when you were trying to help me, and you were already hurt, so that's shitty and I'm sorry."

"Steve, you were having a nightmare. It's not like you did it on purpose." 

Steve just looks down at his hands in his lap. 

Billy pushes him over with one hand and he nearly falls off the bed. "Stop fucking worrying so much. I'm like the _last_ person who would judge you for that shit. I mean, _I_ knocked _you_ out on _purpose_." 

Steve finds himself smiling. "Yeah, ok but that was _before_ you knew how awesome I was."

Billy smiles back. "True."

There's a charge to the air, he thinks, almost like the one before the kiss last night. He needs to get out of the bed and away from the blond before he does something he'll regret. 

He hops off the bed. "I'm going to the bathroom. If you're hungry there's plenty of food in the kitchen. Help yourself."

He's not exactly _running away_ , he's just making strategic retreat. 

By the time he's done washing his face and talking himself down from another identity crisis, Billy has already made and eaten a couple pieces of toast and is changing back into his clothes when Steve comes down the stairs. 

He _doesn't_ watch him put on his jeans ok. That would be _wrong_ , but he _does_ watch him button them. 

"Leaving so soon?" He asks, wanting to make sure Billy knows he is there and definitely not spying on him like a creep. 

"Yeah, I need to get back home. Max is probably freaking out thinking I wrapped my car around a tree or something."

He can totally see that, but the thought of him going back home, where he may have gotten all those injuries lastnight makes Steve ill. He cautiously asks, "Are your parents going to be mad you stayed out?" 

He swallows hard before replying. "They're used to it."

He doesn't really believe him but he knows he can't make him stay either. He's already putting on his jacket and grabbing his keys from the table."You know, Billy, if uh- if you ever need a place to crash, you can still come here." 

He looks kind of… touched. "Thanks, Harrington. I'll keep that in mind." 

Steve follows him to the door and tells him to make sure he takes care of his cut because he just can't help himself. He rolls his eyes and says he's not a _fucking_ _child,_ and then he's starting the Camaro, backing down the driveway, and driving off. Leaving Steve alone with his thoughts and his big empty house. 

* * *

  
Truth be told, Billy hadn't really _wanted_ to leave Steve's house. It had been kind of nice waking up with him. The other boy had been embarrassed as fuck when he'd realized what had happened, but Billy found it pretty endearing, watching his cheeks turn red. 

But he knew he needed to leave. He didn't want to chance his dad somehow, in _some_ way, finding out where his car was parked. 

He wonders what his father would say if he knew he'd not only spent the night with the very boy he accused him of sleeping with, but he'd kissed that boy and slept in his bed with his arms wrapped around him. He probably wouldn't say anything. He'd probably be too fucking speechless with rage to string a syllable together. He'd probably just kill him on the spot. 

He'd laugh if it wasn't so fucking sad. 

He's out of smokes so he stops at the gas station on his way home. He knows he looks a mess, but for once he doesn't care. 

He is walking out of the 7/11 and lighting a cigarette when Chief Hopper pulls up. 

_Well, fuck._ He cares what he looks like _now_. 

"Afternoon, Hargrove." He says when he climbs out of the Blazer. 

"Afternoon, Chief, " He replies, trying not to make eye contact and pretending he's not there. 

It's kinda hard to do when the man's shadow falls over him. "Looks like you had a bit of a rough night. Should I be looking in the hospital for the other guy?" 

He swallows hard. "No, uh. For once I was the one that lost. Guy got the jump on me, I guess." He shrugs like _what can you do_. 

The Chief has a weird look on his face. Like he can tell Billy is _lying_. "That so?" 

Billy takes a drag, hoping he will leave him alone. "Yep." 

The older man takes out his own cigarette and lights it. So much for him going away. "You know, it's been concerning a few folks seeing you roughed up like that all the time."

That's fucking news to him, and it's really starting to feel like the Chief is hedging around something. He squints his eyes at him. "Is there a question in there somewhere?" 

He really should not be mouthing off to a cop but, shit. 

Hopper bites the inside of his cheek before looking him dead in the eye. "Things ok at home, son?"

Billy bristles at the name and the implication. Who the fuck has he been talking to? He forces himself to smile. It makes the cut on his lip pull tight. "Things are fine, why?" 

He scratches at the stubble on his chin. "It's just.. You remind me of someone I used to know. He would get into it with his old man a lot. Never could do anything right. Everything was his fault. He tried real hard to pretend it was ok, but he could only hide the bruises for so long."

Billy feels sick. "Sounds like he got dealt a shitty hand." 

"Yeah. Yeah he did." He agrees. "But fortunately he got out before any permanent damage was done. Kid had a good friend." 

"Lucky him." He mutters before finishing his cigarette and flicking it onto the pavement. "Great talk, Chief, really educational, but I've got a twerp to pick up." 

He doesn't. Max is at home, but he needs to get the fuck away from here before Hopper starts interrogating him or something. 

"Take care of yourself, Hargrove."

"Always do." He says after slamming the car door. 

He's relieved to see no cars parked out front of his house when he pulls up. His dad usually leaves him alone for a few days after a beating this hard, but he'd still rather not see him if he doesn't have to. 

"Billy?" Max calls out when he comes through the front door. "Where the hell were-" Her question dies on her tongue when she sees him. "Holy _shit._ Are you _ok_?"

She's fussing over him, trying to help him with his jacket. "Max-"

She ignores his hands batting her away. "What happened?" 

"What do you think happened?"

She frowns at that and looks at the bandage covering his brow. "It's kinda _bad_ this time, though. Why'd he flip out?"

He sighs and walks into the kitchen to get a drink. He knows she'll follow him. "He saw me and Steve talking outside the theatre. Thought we were standing a little too close." He tells her, pulling out a glass. "I saw his truck so I knew it was coming."

"Oh my _god_ , is that why you were being all weird and apologizing to everyone at the diner? And refused to come to Will's? I thought you just felt bad for treating Steve like absolute shit the last couple weeks."

"Yeah, well that was part of it too." He looks away from her and turns on the tap to fill his glass with water, "But I skipped out on the party because I didn't want you to be here for it. I knew it would be the worst since coming here." He still doesn't look at her as he takes a drink but he can feel her eyes boring into the side of his face. 

"He's an _asshole_. He's a fucking asshole and I wish you'd tell someone." 

And that fucking _reminds him._

He looks sharply at her and she takes a step back. "Did _you_? Tell someone?"

"What? No! You told me not to."

"Well, _someone's_ been talking. Chief Hopper stopped me outside the gas station. Asked me if everything was ok at home."

"Probably because you look like complete _shit_."

"Max."

"I'm serious! He's been- he hasn't been careful lately. You've had two black eyes in the last _month, Billy_." 

He sighs. She does have a point. "Ok. Fine maybe you didn't say anything. But if he asks you, you better not say a word." 

"He could help-" 

"I don't _need_ or _want_ his fucking help!" He yells. It's a dick move, he knows it is. He's been trying _so hard_ not to yell at her or treat her like he used to, but sometimes he slips back into it. 

She looks like she's on the verge of crying and she folds her arms across her chest. " _Fine._ " 

"Listen, it's just not anyone's business ok?" He says more quietly. 

She still looks upset but she nods her head. "So, you still didn't tell me where you were. You didn't sleep in your car again did you?"

"No," He thinks of the kiss, of holding Steve in his arms. "I went to a party, and then ended up at Steve's."

Her mouth pops open. "Back up the phone. You're telling me you spent the night with _Steve_ after being a _total_ douchebag to him for weeks?"

He just glares at her. 

"Steve is a _saint_. Either that or an idiot. I don't know why he puts up with you."

"Probably because I was a complete train wreck when I showed up." He shrugs, and that makes her frown again. "He can't help himself. He wants to take care of people."

"Yeah, he's kinda like a mom." She says, and that is pretty damn accurate. "Did you at least tell _him?"_

 _"No._ "

"Maybe you should." 

He thinks about what the Chief said. About the man he used to know and his friend. Maybe it _would_ help if Steve knew the truth. "I'll think about it."

She smiles like he said he was taking her to Disneyland. "Hey, does this mean you'll start hanging out with us all again? Because it _sucked_ when you and Steve were fighting."

"We weren't fighting." 

"Oh, I'm _sorry._ It sucked when you were being a huge _dickhead_ and made Steve all mopey. It nearly split The Party up."

"I didn't think you brats would be that hung up on it."

"Oh, yeah. It was a _thing_ , _trust me_. We never talked about it around you guys, but me and Will saved your _life._ Dustin was _this_ close," She pinches her fingers almost together, "to coming after you."

He laughs picturing the boy trying to do _anything_ to him. "Yeah, thank you for saving me from Henderson. I'm sure he would have done some major damage." It's a nice thought that Max and Will had come to his defense, though. 

"Just don't hurt Steve again, ok? I like it better when you're friends."

"Yeah, shitbird, I got it. I won't do anything to split up your little nerd group." 

"Good." She smiles again and then bounces off to the living room to watch TV. "And go change your clothes. You smell like beer!" 

He rolls his eyes. He was about to take a damn shower anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter 😊


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's parents come home for Spring Break, and Steve gets a little bold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> So, this chapter was a bitch to write for some reason, but I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> There will also be an alternative (smuttier) woods scene that I will be posting if any of you are interested.

**April 1985**

Steve's parents had come home the last week of March, during his Spring Break. It hadn't gone as great as he'd hoped.

Instead of running the kids around town and hanging out with Billy the first day, he'd been stuck at home, in the hardest chair in his father's office as he listened to him pick apart every little detail of his academic career, or lack thereof. 

He'd pressed him hard about joining the local branch of his company, because _what other option do you have, Steven? Ever since you split up with that lovely Wheeler girl, your grades have slipped. No college will take you with these transcripts_ . _You need to meet with the current supervisor, Paul Adams. Here is his phone number. I expect you to call him and set up a meeting for the near future._

He'd left no room for Steve to speak. He'd shut down every attempt he'd made to change the subject. It was like the only reason he'd even come home was to remind his son what a fuck up he was. 

He didn't need to be reminded. He already knew his grades were shit. It's kind of hard to focus on school when your mind is on parallel worlds and how pointless school seems in the face of all that. 

His dad never asked how he was doing, or if he'd done anything interesting since Christmas. He never mentioned the circles under Steve's eyes. He didn't ask him what he did at home for weeks on end or why he woke up screaming the first night they were home. He didn't talk to him _at all_ unless it was to remind him to call _Paul_ , or discuss his new ideas that he was pitching to the other board members. 

As if Steve cared about that shit. 

His mom had talked to him, though. Asked about Nancy and how he was holding up. Asked if he had another girl he wanted to pursue during dinner and he nearly choked on his food because Billy's face immediately came to mind, and he couldn't tell her _that_. So, he'd just shook his head and said he was still not over her. She'd tutted and asked if he wanted her to make some calls to her friends and see if they had any nieces or daughters that they could hook him up with. He declined that offer on the spot. It made his skin crawl to think about being set up by his mom and her friends. 

She made him go shopping with her and told him all about the new restaurant near their condo. _You'd love it there, sweetie. You're a stone's throw away from everything._ He wanted to ask why she didn't just take him with her, then, but it wasn't worth the guilt trip she'd probably give him. _You_ _know we love you. The Chicago Branch just needs more attention. And I can't leave your father to his own devices, what do you think would happen?_

He loves his mom, he does. It'd been nice when they cooked dinner together and watched sitcoms on the TV while his dad worked in his study. He liked to hear her talk about the new books she's read and places she's been. Liked when she'd ran a hand through his hair and told him she likes it this long. 

But that had ended up making him sad because he remembered how it felt to have Billy's hand in his hair and that he'd never be able to talk to his mom about it. His whole thought process had gone to shit after that. 

He realized after the third day that he really wanted them to go back to Chicago. He thought he missed them, that the house didn't feel so empty with them here, but he was wrong. He didn't really miss _them_ when they were gone. He missed the _idea_ of them. 

The idea of warm smiles and gentle hugs, his father saying he's proud of him, and patting him on the back, and the house bursting with life and love instead of cold emptiness. 

He'd grabbed his jacket and left that night. Drove around town until he spotted the Camaro outside the drug store and parked beside it. Billy hadn't said a word when he'd come back out and saw Steve sitting on the hood. He just offered him a cigarette and sat down beside him. 

They ended up at the Wheelers, hanging out with Nancy and Jonathan while the kids went through their campaign. When Nancy had asked how his parents were, he'd given generic answers but both she and Billy had caught the misery in his tone. 

Billy and Jonathan had left for awhile and come back with some rum. If he got a little shit faced and admitted that he thought his dad might hate him and the house still felt like tomb even with them there, none of them held it against him. But Billy _had_ sat a little closer and rested his arm on the couch above Steve's head, fingers brushing against the nape of his neck every so often. 

And if he noticed that the contact made him shiver, Billy never said a word. 

Things with Billy had gone easier after that. They had kind of danced around each other the first week after the kiss. Neither of them bringing it up or mentioning the fact that he and Billy had cuddled. The knowledge that they'd both instigated something that night just hung in the air above them wherever they were. But those small strokes on the back of his neck snapped something into place. 

If he'd just been trying to comfort him, a pat on the shoulder would have done a decent job, but he hadn't done that. He'd chosen to be subtle and gentle, to make his presence and his intention known. Steve hadn't called him out on it, because he'd still been on the fence about whether or not there were _feelings_ there, but he _had_ leaned into his touch and the next time they spent time together he stopped trying to keep his distance. 

There had been more light touches since then and their easy banter seemed to always take on a flirtatious edge whenever they were alone. Steve wishes they were alone more often, if only to have the time to figure out what Billy wants out of this game they are playing. 

His parents ended up leaving six days after they'd arrived, but not before Steve had made that stupid phone call. He's dreading the meeting in two weeks, but if it gets his Dad off his back, then he supposes it's worth it. 

Now it's April, and they are shuffling through the woods on a Friday evening because Dustin needs to collect samples of _moss_ for a school project, and the rest of the kids had decided it would be fun if they all went together. Steve is here to _supervise_ because he still worries about them being in the woods by themselves, and Billy is there to make sure Max and Lucas don't _disappear_ down a trail together. 

"Loosen up a little, man." Steve says to him after he's given the couple one too many glares. He's tired of the grumpy attitude and kind of needs a break from the kids. 

"Fine. I'll loosen up, but if she gets pregnant I'm blaming you." He huffs, stride slowing down to put more distance between them. 

"They're fourteen, Billy."

He raises a brow. "And your point is what exactly? I was fucking the neighbor girl at that age."

Which yeah, ok. That is probably one hundred percent true. "Ya know, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Lucas is not anywhere _close_ to being as charming as you are."

There's a playful smirk on his lips when he replies, "Aw, you think I'm charming?"

"Act like you don't already know that." 

"Oh, I do. It's just nice to hear _you_ say it."

There's a heat growing in his gut that has become an all too familiar sensation lately. He slows his pace, watching the kids get farther and farther ahead. 

"I'm not too proud to admit, I'd probably fall for your charms." 

He knows he's pushing it right now, but he can't help it. They're never going to get anywhere unless one of them makes the first move. 

Billy cocks his head to the side. "That so?" 

"I mean, it's gotta be Mrs. Wheeler level at _least_ , but yeah, I'd swoon." 

Billy stops walking and Steve worries that he's pushed too far, but when he turns to apologize for making it _weird,_ he's met with an almost hungry look in his blue eyes. 

"Oh, _Steve_. I wouldn't have to lay it on _nearly_ that thick to have you swooning." 

His heart jumps into his throat _._

_Well, he's not wrong._

He knows he started this game, and wanted it to go somewhere but now he's kind of nervous. "What makes you so sure I'd be easier than Mrs Wheeler?" 

Billy steps into his space. "Because _unlike_ Mrs Wheeler, you already _know_ what it's like to melt under my touch."

 _Oh, yeah. He's definitely fucked._

He swallows down his nerves and meets that heated gaze with one of his own. "You _know_ , I don't quite remember _melting_ , maybe you should remind me what that feels like."

It only takes a moment of Billy searching his face for permission before he's slipping one hand on Steve's neck and the other on his hip as he brings him in for a kiss. 

It's different this time. It's not quick and desperate and afraid. It's _slow_ and _deep_ and when he pulls away Steve feels kind of dizzy with it.

"Melting yet?" He asks, voice low and way sexier than it needs to be. 

And even though they should probably stop and talk about this before it gets more physical, Steve's not ready for it to end. "Nope, I think you need to try a little harder." 

And then he's being maneuvered carefully backwards off the trail until his back hits up against the bark of a tree and Billy is breathing into his ear. "You sure you really want that, Harrington?" 

He's never been so sure of anything in his _life._

_"Fuck, yes."_

The words are barely out before Billy presses his body against him and claims his mouth once more. 

Steve refuses to be just a bystander this time, so he runs a hand along Billy's jaw, thumb brushing against his earring as he slants his mouth to take him deeper. 

Billy groans into the kiss and pulls down the zipper of Steve's bomber jacket, exposing his neck to the still chilly air. Cold hands find their way under the hem of his shirt, making him shiver but he can't tell if it's because of the temperature or just his body's reaction to Billy's fingers touching him. 

His cock is already hard and he moves his hips a little, searching for friction. Billy gives it to him, moving his thigh between his legs to rut against. 

Oh, my god. This is _crazy_. How did they even _get here_? Oh, that's right, Steve's horny ass couldn't leave well enough alone and now he's probably going to get off in the middle of the woods with the kids a couple hundred yards away.

They should stop. They really should, but it feels so good he can't bring himself to end it. 

Billy shifts, breaking the kiss, only to attach his mouth to the base of Steve's throat, and gently _bites._ And _yeah_ , that's new, and definitely something he wants to keep happening. Like forever. 

He's leaving a path of love bites along his neck and Steve becomes emboldened. He moves his hands from where they are resting on Billy's back and hip, to grab his ass and pull him forward, grinding their hips together with the motion. He can finally feel how _hard_ Billy is and it sends a jolt of pleasure right to his own throbbing cock. 

" _Fuck,_ " Billy pants against him. "Careful, Harrington, you might give a guy the wrong idea." 

Steve grinds up again just to hear him moan. "Or maybe I'm giving him the _right_ one."

"Jesus, I fucking _knew_ you'd be like this." He says, backing off enough to get his hands between them. 

"Like what?" He asks, not knowing if he should be offended or not. 

"Mouthy and demanding." Billy replies, unfastening the top button of Steve's jeans."It's fucking hot."

He wants to say something sarcastic, but Billy has a hand wrapped around his cock before he can think of anything. 

"Fuck, Steve. I've wanted to get my hands on you for so long." 

Steve puts his hands on his shoulders just so he has something to keep him grounded. "Oh, _yeah_? How long." 

He rubs his thumb across the head of his cock, smearing precum as he replies. "Since I saw you in those stupid Ray Bans." 

_Holy shit_. That was the first week he'd been here. 

"Thought you were too pretty to be real. Wondered what you'd feel like, _taste_ like," He continues, and starts to stroke him. "Wasn't much more than a fleeting thought, though, until I got to actually _know_ you." He mouths along his neck until he gets to his ear where he whispers,"Then I fucking _ached_ for it." 

Steve moans and lets his head fall back against the tree. Billy has been thinking about him like this for _months._ They wasted so much time being idiots. 

"Never thought I'd get this." He continues, keeping a steady pace. "Thought I fucked it all up that night." 

"No, fuck, Billy." Steve groans, pushing up into his fist. "That kiss made me realize how much I fucking _wanted_ you. I was walking around earlier that day fucking jealous of _Shelley_."

That makes him completely freeze and lean back to look into his eyes. "You were jealous?" 

" _So_ , jealous. I was _mad_ about Will, but when you whispered in her ear at the concession stand? _That's_ when I lost my shit. I couldn't stand the thought of her putting her hands on you."

There's something _happening_ here, but he doesn't get a chance to figure out what it is because Billy's kissing him again, handjob apparently forgotten with his admittance, but Steve doesn't really care. There's a new tension between them now as Billy runs his hands up his body, coaxes his mouth open, and touches his face _gently_ like he's afraid Steve might _break_. Like he's something to be _treasured_. 

And Steve… he fucking _melts._

For the first time in a _long_ time, he feels like maybe he's _not_ bullshit. That maybe there are _feelings_ here, and not just sexual ones, but something _real_ , because Billy is holding him like he's afraid Steve might vanish under his hands and it would kill him if that happened. 

They stand there, bodies pressed together, panting into each other's mouths until Steve's shaking. "God, Billy, I-"

"Steve!" Dustin's voice carries through the trees. "Where the hell did you go?"

 _Oh no._ "Shit shit shit." Steve panics and Billy pulls away from him. 

They can't let the kids see them like this.

Steve fumbles to tuck himself back into his jeans, and it's a bit uncomfortable because he's still so _hard_ , but that is changing quickly with the threat of being found out. He hastily zips up his jacket and starts messing with his hair but then stops when he realizes Billy is just _standing_ there watching him with a damn smirk on his face "It's not fucking funny, you _want_ them to catch us?"

"Calm down, Princess, you'll draw more attention to yourself." He says, like he's not bothered by the boner he's sporting too. He just digs into the pocket of his jacket and Steve feels the panic leave because he's pulling out a tiny bag with a joint in it. 

"Oh my _god_ , you're a fucking _genius_." 

"Yeah, not just another pretty face." He puts the joint between his lips and lights it up. 

" _Steve_!" It's Lucas's voice this time and Max joins in by yelling her brothers name. 

_"Hello_?!" Dustin calls out again, his voice closer now. "You guys better not have been eaten by a bear or something!"

Billy takes another hit and passes it to Steve before walking back onto the trail, smoke billowing behind him. "There aren't any bears in Indiana, dipshit." 

"There you are! What the hell are you guys doing? "

Steve lets the smoke fill his lungs before stumbling up to the group. 

Dustin looks totally put off when he sees him. "Really, Steve? Getting _stoned_?" 

"Can't be responsible all the time." He shrugs. 

"Yeah, well, we got all the samples and wanted to go get pizza. Can you even _drive?"_

"We're _fine,_ Henderson." Billy tells him and plucks the joint out of Steve's hand. "But if it will make you feel better, I'll cut him off."

"Thanks, dick."

The kids give him so much shit for sneaking off to get high with Billy on the walk back to the cars. He tries to act normal and talk shit back to them, but his nerves are still on fire. He can't get the memory of Billy's hands on his skin and mouth on his throat out of his head. It's worse when he catches the blonds eyes and he gives him a mischievous smile.

Like he _knows_ what Steve's thinking. Like _he's_ thinking the same thing. 

By the time the kids pile into his car and their eyes meet over the top of their hoods, Steve is about ready to jump out of his skin. He thinks maybe his face is giving him away because Max looks at him funny before she climbs into the Camaro. 

Oh, well. He'll let Billy deal with _that._

The energy between them still doesn't change, even when they are at Pizza King surrounded by noise and distraction. All he wants to do is drop the kids off at their respective houses and convince Billy to come home with him, to finish what they started, and maybe talk about what it means. 

But near the end of dinner Billy starts to fidget and look uncomfortable, like he's thinking too hard and not liking whatever it is he's thinking about. It makes Steve's stomach feel like lead. 

He starts to worry that maybe he's regretting it, regretting what they'd done. Maybe Steve had read him wrong, pushed him to far and he only went along with it because he didn't want to hurt _Steve_. He tries not to worry about it but it's _impossible_. They need to talk about this before they leave here. If they don't, he's afraid they never will and it will all fall apart. 

He kicks at Billy's boot under the table to get the boy to look at him. "Hey, wanna smoke?" He asks, because they can't do this _here_ , in a _restaurant_ , in front of the _kids._

He frowns but answers, "Sure." 

He follows Steve outside and immediately lights up. 

Steve watches him inhale a shaky breath. "Ok, what's going on?"

"Don't know what you mean, Harrington."

"I thought we were fine, that what happened was fine with you, so why do you look like you're regretting it?"

"That's not- I'm not regretting it." 

"If I like..pressured you, I didn't mean to and I'm _really_ sorry." 

He snorts at that. "You didn't fucking pressure me. I wanted to do it, probably more than you did."

"Then what's wrong?" 

He looks away from him. "Did you really mean it?" He asks quietly, "When you said you couldn't stand the thought of Shelley touching me? Did you mean it?"

Steve nods. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't know what it meant at the time, but yeah."

His face changes then, it's as open and vulnerable as it had been the night he'd first kissed him. "You're not just fucking with me, right?" And god that makes Steve's heart _hurt_ for a second. That he could even _think_ that. "Because I can't…Steve, if this is just some game to you, if it's just about hooking up I -"

_No no no._

" _No_. Come on, man. You really think I'd," He lowers his voice, _just in case_ , " _kiss_ you like that, if I didn't like you? If I didn't want to _be_ with you?"

Billy doesn't say anything, just looks at him like he doesn't know what to believe, or maybe that he's just _scared_ to believe. 

Steve moves to stand in front of him, to make sure he can't look away. "Billy, _listen to me_. The only thing I've been thinking about for the last two weeks is how much I fucking like you. It's not about _hooking up,_ ok?" And then adds more honestly. "Well, I mean, it's not _only_ about hooking up. You drive me fucking _crazy._ You have for awhile."

It looks like he's holding something back when he replies, "I just..I want to trust you, Steve. I want to trust you because I care about you and I need to believe you care about me too because I've got...I've got a lot of fucking baggage and I don't know if I can handle it on my own anymore."

Steve thinks about the bruises, the cuts, the pain behind his smiles. 

"You can uh- why don't you come over. We can talk about it. I promise you can trust me. Let me prove it to you." 

He thinks about it for a minute, chewing on his lip before carefully replying. "I can't. I have to get Max home tonight, and I should probably stay there," He's a little disappointed, but he knows Billy is trying. "What about tomorrow night? I promised to drop her and Lucas off at the arcade for a _date_ or whatever, and I have to pick her back up, but I'm free after that." 

Steve smiles, "Yeah, yeah that works."

"Alright, It's a date then." 

_It's a date._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I wasn't planning on writing them confessing they like each other quite yet, but I decided that I HAD to give you guys this. I had to give you lust and feelings and our boys planning on talking it out because the next few chapters are going to be bad. 
> 
> Like.. really really rough, but they HAVE to happen to move the plot so I hope you all forgive me. 
> 
> (And I promise things will get better, ok, just stick it out.)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil finds out about Lucas and goes after Max. 
> 
> Shit, of course, hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> This chapter is a doozy, folks. You might want to go read some fluff immediately after. Heed the warnings. 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠⚠⚠
> 
> Overall Neil Hargrove warning  
> Abuse of a physical nature  
> Racial slurs  
> Homophobic slurs  
> Description of injuries 
> 
> (If you think this chapter will be too triggering to read, I suggest you skip it, but the one thing you definitely need to know is that Billy blacks out and attacks his father in the middle of Neil abusing him)

Billy never would have thought that Steve would be the one to make the first big move. Sure, they'd both tested the waters, getting close, flirting, making excuses to put their hands on each other, but he honestly hadn't thought Harrington would be that fucking _bold._ It had thrown him off and made him stupid. 

Don't get him wrong. It was fucking _great_ , especially when Steve egged him on, but it probably wasn't the best idea to try to jerk him off in the woods where the kids could accidentally stumble upon them. 

But _fuck_ had it felt good. 

What was better, though, was the fact that Steve had admitted to being _jealous._ Usually that would annoy him, but with Steve? It was down right endearing. 

He couldn't believe it at first. And once the sexual adrenaline had worn off it had honestly _terrified_ him. Because there was _no way_ that Harrington could have _feelings_ for him. Good things just don't happen to him like that. He could understand him being sexually curious. Billy _had_ kissed him and he could be wondering what else Billy could do, but Steve had insisted it wasn't like that. 

Said he wanted to _be_ with him. 

And god he wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe him _so bad_ because it's getting harder to hide behind the mask here. There are too many eyes on him, especially the Chief's, and he knows he can't keep shrugging it off. 

He has _one more year in that house_ . The burden and weight of the secrets on his back are suffocating him, but maybe they won't kill him if he can _tell_ someone. 

Fuck, he wants to tell _Steve._

So, when Steve had begged Billy to let him _prove_ to him that he was serious, he let himself believe that maybe this could work. If it was Steve, maybe he could _finally_ have something _good_. 

But really, Billy should have known that anytime something _remotely_ good happens to him, everything else goes to shit. 

Neil decides that the day after Billy sees a light at the end of the tunnel, is the day he's going to go after Max. 

It's not Billy's _fault_ that it _happe_ ns but it is his fault for not seeing the warning signs. He'd been too busy thinking about what he was going to tell Steve that he'd missed the way his father had come home from the liquor store with a hard expression. 

Billy had no way of knowing that Neil had seen his step daughter holding hands with Lucas Sinclair on the way to get beer. They had been walking to the diner after playing for a couple hours at the arcade and since it was _Max_ , she felt _totally safe_ strolling down the street like it wouldn't matter if his dad drove by.

He _had_ known his old man was angry, though, when he'd seen him sitting at the kitchen table later as still as a statue. Billy had slowed down, nervous that things were about to get ugly before he was able to pick her up, but he hadn't said a word. He'd thought it was a little odd, but he just figured he was waiting until later to yell at him for something or another that he'd supposedly done. 

So, he brought Max back home like usual, not thinking a damn thing about it, and went to his room to just _wait_ for his dad to storm in, but when he heard a thump from the kitchen his heart climbed into his throat. He wasn't coming to yell at him, because he hadn't been angry at _Billy._ That silent fury he'd seen had been aimed at _Max._

Billy hadn't felt that scared since the night his dad sent him to the hospital and his legs were moving before his brain could even process what was happening. 

His dad had slammed a fist down _hard_ on their kitchen table and was staring at Max with such hostility by the time Billy got there, that the whole room felt like a live wire. He slowly inched closer, trying to figure out a way to diffuse the situation. Susan wasn't _here_ . She couldn't just _whisk Max away_ this time. 

His keys are in his pocket but there's no way he can grab her and run. They'd never make it. 

_Fuck._

"Why does it matter?" Max is saying, her stance defensive. "We like each other. I don't care that he's black."

 _Oh no._ _No no no. Not good. She needs to stop._

"You are going to _call_ that little nigger right _now_ and tell him you'll no longer be speaking to him."

Tears well up in her eyes and she looks seconds away from crying. "I won't. I won't do it! He's my _friend_. You can't tell me who to be friends with." 

_This is fucking bad._

"Who do you think you're talking to, girl? You live under _my_ roof. You'll do as I say and call him _now."_

Her chin juts out and she says the one word you just don't say to Neil Hargrove, " _No._ "

" _Shit."_

Billy has no time to get between them before the sound of her being backhanded reaches his ears. She stumbles backward and brings a hand up to her face in complete shock. His Dad grabs hold of her jacket to keep her from running away and starts squeezing her chin to get her to _look at him,_ and Billy is _not_ about to stand here and watch him hit her again. 

He shoves himself in front of her, his back to his father, and practically rips the jacket off of her shoulders so she's no longer trapped in Neil's grasp. " _Go."_ He hisses, pushing her away from them. He knows he can only buy her so much time, but if she hurries she can make it. 

She scrambles to grab her bag on the living room floor and he grits his teeth in preparation. He can _do_ this. He's done it for _less._ He just needs to keep his dad's attention. 

"What do you think you're doing interfering with your sisters discipline?" His father snaps, grabbing his shoulder tightly and spinning him around. "She has gotten away with way too much lately. Susan is too soft on her. I'm done letting her do as she pleases. Sneaking around with a spook is the last straw." He pulls Billy to the side to go after her, but Billy clamps both hands down on his forearm to stop him. 

"Yeah, Sinclair." He says quickly. "I know all about it. I've been _helping_ her see him. Who do you think dropped them both off?" 

He can see the pure rage come over Neil's face. 

_Oh my god, I'm a fucking idiot._

There's a gasp from near the door and he doesn't realize why until he's nearly body slammed onto the kitchen table. It creaks under his weight. 

"You've been _helping_ her sneak around with a _nigger_? _You know the rules, boy._ Are you _trying_ to get on my bad side? I'd have thought after our talk _last month,_ that you wouldn't be so quick to defy me. It seems like you _both_ need to learn your places around here." 

An arm is pressing down on his chest now, making it hard to move, hard to breathe. 

_Fuck._

He can hear Max hyperventilating. Why isn't she outside yet? 

"Don't you _dare_ open that door, Maxine." Neil spits, "Or I promise it will be worse for you."

Billy thrashes under the arm pinning him down. "She's just a kid." He barely gets out. " _Dad,_ she's just a _kid_." 

Suddenly he's dragged sideways off the table and lands in a heap on the floor alongside his father's coffee mug and morning newspapers, coughing hard as air fully fills his lungs.

"Perfect, then she has plenty of time to learn some real life lessons. Like what happens to queers and nigger lovers in this house" He stalks towards the front door where Max is standing completely frozen and he knows if he reaches her there's no telling what will happen. He's so mad he might actually kill her. So, without giving it a second thought, he lands a good kick to the back of Neils leg, which causes him to pitch forward. 

"Max, run! Get the fuck out of here!" He screams and tries to wrestle his father to the ground. She needs to _leave_ . He can't let her get hurt like that. "Fucking go! _Now_!"

The door finally flies open and she's gone, red hair flowing behind her. And Christ, he's so fucking relieved. She's out. She's _safe._

But now he has to deal with the fall out. 

_Fuck._

"You worthless- how _dare you_ put your hands on me." His dad roars, and slams him back to the ground. "Haven't you had enough, William?" He asks, punching him hard enough to disorient him. "Haven't you learned _anything?"_ His father stands up, bringing his leg back to aim a kick to his stomach, keeping Billy from being able to make a hasty retreat. 

His father is calling him names again. Telling him this is for _his own good_ . _He needs to learn. And so does his sister. She'll be getting what's coming to her too_. 

And Billy, mouth coated with blood and eyes stinging with unshed tears, begs him to leave her alone. He can take this beating for her. Max can't take it. She _can't._

His father sneers down at him. Tells him _that's real noble, son._

He loses time after that. 

He _knows_ he was kicked multiple times, can remember his ribs breaking under his father's work boots, and he knows he was nearly strangled, his vision had gone spotty and his nails had dug into his father's shoulders. He also figures his nose must be broken too, because blood was pouring from it and coating his father's fingers, making them slip on his throat, but then he blacks out and when he comes too he's suddenly up on his knees, looking down at his father's busted lip, bloodied forehead, and slack face. There's something heavy in his hand and he realizes it's his Father's mug. His now _bloody_ mug. 

He drops it like there's electricity coursing through it.

_Shit. Shit_

He doesn't remember it happening. When had he gotten the upper hand? He hasn't fought back against his dad since he was fifteen. 

God. It's a fucking blank. Oh, _fuck._ Did he _kill_ him? 

He stumbles up onto shaky legs. 

"Billy! Billy!" Small hands tug on him, lead him to the living room.

 _Max?_ Shouldn't she be far away? Why is she still _here_? 

"Oh, my god, you're _bleeding_ . Come on. Steve's coming. Come _on_."

"Steve?" Steve can't be here! 

"I radioed him when I got outside. I didn't know who else to call. You said no cops last time. But I thought he was going to _kill_ you."

 _Hands squeezing, squeezing, squeezing_. "He almost did."

They both stop when they hear a moan from the kitchen floor. Well, at least Billys not a stone cold murderer. 

"Come on." Max says again, pulling him through the front door to sit on the porch. He can see the marks his father left on her face. He reaches to brush his fingers across it. 

"I'm sorry, Max." He croaks. 

"Oh my _god_ , Billy. You don't have anything to be sorry for. _Holy shit_. You got between us. What the _hell_ were you thinking?" She's crying and wiping the blood off his face with a long sleeve flannel shirt. _Her_ shirt, he realizes. She's just in a yellow tank top now. She must be freezing. And It kind of makes her watery blue eyes stand out. Huh. "No, no! Don't close your eyes, Billy. You need to stay awake."

"' 'm tired."

"I know but _shit_ , you can't sleep yet. You're a fucking mess. Oh, my god." 

"Language, shitbird." He says, and he can feel that his bottom lip is shredded.

Fuck. Not good. Max is still talking to him and he blearily sees Harrington pull up, but his head is swimming and his chest fucking hurts and he just wants to sleep. To rest his eyes. 

"Holy fucking _shit."_ Harrington says when he reaches them. Curses again and drops down on his knees in front of him. "What the fuck? Oh, my god, Billy!" Gentle hands are moving strands of hair out of his face. 

"Hey, handsome," He mutters, trying to smile, he knows it's copper and ugly. "Long time no see." 

"Yeah. Kinda wish you'd taken me up on my offer last night. Fuck. We need to get you out of here."

"Too tired, " He says again and the last thing he sees before his vision goes black, is big brown doe eyes widening in horror. 

* * *

When Neil had struck her, it was the first time Max really understood the fear that Billy had been living with for all these years. She can't say it had come out of _nowhere,_ but it had surprised her all the same. She'd never actually _thought_ Neil would do it. She'd always felt like her mom had one stipulation in their marriage and it was that he couldn't touch Max. 

But she'd been _wrong,_ and Billy had warned her months ago that Neil was feeling more comfortable with Max witnessing the violence, that if she wasn't careful he could turn on her too. He was _right._ Now he had, and she didn't know what to do. 

He'd fisted her jacket before she could run away and pulled her closer before grabbing her chin so _hard_ her jaw ached. She couldn't do anything to stop him. She'd been _petrified._ She didn't know what was coming next. She didn't know if she could even _brace_ herself. 

She didn't have time to worry about it, though, because suddenly _Billy_ was in front of her. Pulling off her jacket. Shoving her. Telling her to _go._

And she tried. She ran into the living room to grab her bag because she knew her walkie was inside of it. But she turned around after picking it up to look because Neil wasn't coming after her. Because _Billy_ hadn't _let_ him. She couldn't hold back the gasp when Neil slammed him onto the table. 

_Oh, my god. Oh, my god! What do I do?!_

She hadn't moved because she was too scared to move. Scared to leave. Scared for _Billy_. 

But now he is on the floor and Neil is yelling at her, stalking forward and oh my god, he's going to grab her again, but then her brother kicks Neil so hard he falls forward onto his knees. Billy is screaming at her to fucking _run_ as he tackles his father, and he looks like he's going to _cry_ if she doesn't _get out,_ so she turns around and flings the door open, running out into the sunshine and cool air. 

She can hear Neil yelling behind her, the sound of a struggle as she runs down the sidewalk and tries to open the Camaro door. Thank the heavens it's unlocked, so she jumps inside and slams the door. _Shit_. She has to _do_ something. She's never seen Neil that mad before and she just keeps picturing Billy in the hospital back in Cali. She can't let that happen again. Not because of her. _Not again._

She pulls out her walkie with shaky hands. She knows she's not supposed to tell anyone what happens in their house but she is afraid for Billy. She's _so_ _afraid_. She _has_ to get help. Maybe not Hopper but Steve. Steve would know what to do. He always does. 

"Code Red!" She cries into the walkie. "Steve! This is a code red! Are you there? Please!" 

Dustin answers first. "Max, what's wrong? Are you ok? Over?" 

"I need Steve! Please!" She's so scared she can barely _breathe_ . "It's Billy! He's going to _die_! I need Steve!" 

"Shit. Ok OK OK. Is it Upside Down related? " 

"No! No!" She yells. "I just need Steve!"

"Max?" _Finally_ , it's Steve's voice. "Max, hey. Are you ok?"

 _No._ " _I'm_ fine but Billy's _not._ You _have_ to come to my house. Please! His dad-" She can't keep the panic from her voice. "His dad is _killing_ him. Steve! He needs _help! Hurry! Please hurry!_ " 

The line goes silent for a moment. "Shit _Shit!_ I'm coming. I'm leaving Dustin's, just...just hold on."

Dustin says, "Are you safe? Max? Are you safe?" 

"Yes, I'm in his car. I'm hiding in the Camaro."

It's radio silent and then Steve comes back on and there's the sound of an engine starting in the background. "Don't go back to the house, Max. Stay where you are. I'm on my way." 

She knows she should do what he says and stay in the car, but she is terrified that Billy is in there _dying_ because he stopped his dad from hurting _her._

She climbs out of the car after arguing with herself for a minute, and slowly makes her way back up the walk. The sounds of struggle are gone now and she peeks inside the darkened house. "Billy?" She whispers. But no one answers. Not even an angry Neil. 

She creeps inside and finally sees Billy kneeling over his dad on the kitchen floor, a bloody coffee mug in his hand. _Holy shit._

He suddenly drops it, panting loudly as he stumbles away. He looks like he has no idea what is going on. "Billy. _Billy._ " She repeats, because he is really out of it. She gently grabs his arm and _shit._ His nose is _crooked_ and bleeding all down the front of him. And the rest of his face isn't much better. "Oh, my _god_ , you're _bleeding_. Come on. Steve's coming. Come on."

He follows her outside and asks about Steve. She admits that she radioed him but he doesn't seem upset. He just touches her face where his dad had hit her and _apologizes._ This is so messed up on so many levels. She's crying when she takes off her flannel over shirt and presses it against his face to stop the bleeding. It's cold but she barely feels it. She's still pumped full of adrenaline.

She can't tell how bad it is because of the blood from his nose, but it looks like he's going to faint so she keeps talking to him. She needs him to stay awake. To be alright. He's still bleeding when Steve pulls up. 

He lets out a slew of profanities when he realizes what kind of shape Billy is in, and It only gets worse when he finally passes out in his arms. 

"Shit. Ok. Let's get him in my car. We're calling Hopper...and maybe taking him to the goddamn hospital." 

"He said no cops! And he _hates_ hospitals." 

"Sorry, Max, but he doesn't get to call the shots anymore. Not when he looks like this." He says, " _Fuck_. What the hell happened?" 

They have barely managed to get him in the front seat when the door to the house slams open. Max feels like puking and turns to address her step father, but Steve puts his hand in front of her, all traces of uncertainty gone now that there's a threat. 

"Get in the car, Max." It's the same voice he had all those months ago, when she'd first met him, when he'd destroyed the demodog on the bus and faced an enraged Billy for them. It's weird that it's _Billy_ he's protecting now. 

"Who the fuck are _you_?" Neil yells from the porch as she slips in behind her brothers seat. "What the hell do you think you're doing with my kids?" 

Steve grabs his bat and tells her to lock the door before standing firmly in front of it. "Taking them somewhere safe." 

"Oh, yeah? On whose authority?"

Steve lifts the bat, resting it on his shoulder, nails gleaming in the sunlight. "My own."

" _Oh,_ I see what's happening here." He says, his voice eerily calm. It makes Max shiver. "I recognize you now. From the theatre. _Yeah_. You must be the _boyfriend._ I just _knew_ my son found another _faggot_ in this town. It's like some kind of sick radar isn't it? Just honed right in on you, didn't he? Then got you all wrapped around his little fairy finger? Did he get down on his knees for you, or were you the one with a cock in your mouth?" 

Max blanches but Steve doesn't move a muscle except to tilt his head to the side. "So, what if I was?" He asks, and oh my _god_ , Max is going to smack the shit out of both him _and_ Billy if they survive this. "What if we are? I don't see how it's any of _your_ business." 

If his face hadn't already been red from blood, she was sure it would be beating red now. "My son having the gall to still be running around town acting like a god damned _queer_ is definitely my business. He knows better than to tarnish our name again."

"The way I see it, you're doing a great job of tarnishing it yourself. What kind of Dad beats their kid within an inch of their life? Especially for some minor offense like that?" 

"I discipline my kids however I see fit. The law's on my side, boy. Now you best get my son out of that car and turn around and leave if you know what's good for you." 

Steve bristles. "Oh, don't worry. I'm _leaving_. But I'm taking them with me. You won't be putting your hands on him again, you _hear me_? I won't _let_ you." 

Neil comes down the stairs like an angry bull and heads straight for them, but Steve plants his feet and holds out the bat like he's ready to swing. "You take _one mor_ e step and I'll make sure you sleep in the ER tonight." 

"You don't have the guts to follow through with a threat like that."

"You're not _my_ dad. I don't give a shit if I make you bleed." Neil looks murderous now. "And I wouldn't push me if were you. My baseball team won _state._ "

"You'll regret this." Neil says after he sizes Steve up for a minute. His voice is deadly as he stares at him then trails his eyes to look at Billy and then Max. "I _promise_ , you'll regret it."

"No, I don't think I will." Steve says and then moves to hit the back tire of Neils truck with the bat. Max can hear the hiss as the air rushes out of it. "That's so you can't even _think_ about following us."

He sprints around the side of the car and jumps in, tossing the bat on the floorboard behind his seat. "Buckle up! " He yells at her and then they are pulling away from the curb as Neil is screaming curse words at them and telling Steve that he _won't always have a bat to protect him_. That he _better_ _watch his faggot back._

If Steve is bothered by his tirade, he doesn't show it. And she's never been more relieved to be inside this Beamer in her life. "Ok...What the _fuck just_ _happened_ back there?" He asks as they turn off their street. Now that they are away from the house, he's back to panicking. "Are you hurt at all?"

Her breath hitches and she touches the stinging skin of her face. "I'm...Neil.. Billy's _dad_ , he found out about me and Lucas… he saw us holding hands. He called him the n word and told me to break up with him...I wouldn't do it so he..he _hit_ me and he was gonna do again but then Billy.. he got in the way. Got him to let me go. Told him he'd been _helping_ me see Lucas so I could get away. I've never… he was so _mad, Steve. I think he choked him."_

 _"Fuck."_ It sounds like Steve is trying not to cry. "Ok. Ok. Is that the first time he's hurt you?"

"Ye-yeah."

Steve looks over at her brother, still slumped in the seat. "Not the first time he's hurt Billy, though, is it? I've asked him, I've asked him so many times. I've had my suspicions but he always denied it. Said it was none of my business or begged me not to ask. _Fuck_." 

She starts crying again, because she can't keep it in anymore. 

"How long has this been going on Max-"

" _I don't know,_ " She hiccups. "He...he _hits_ him _all the time._ But I didn't...I didn't know it until the night we found out about the Upside Down. He made me promise not to tell. _Oh my god. I should have told!_ Neil...he even put him in the _hospital_ before we left Cali."

Steve swears again. "Jesus fucking _Christ_." 

She wants to say more. Wants to tell Steve _everything_ but the walkie crackles to life. It's Chief Hopper's voice that comes through this time. "Hey, Harrington! Is this the right frequency? If you're there pick up!" 

Steve takes the walkie from Max's outstretched hand. "Chief-"

"Do you have _Hargrove_? Is he with you?"

"How did you-" 

"Jane. She...she saw what happened." 

Max and Steve exchange a worried look in the rearview mirror. How had she known to look? 

"Ok. Yeah. Yeah. I've got both of them with me. I uh- popped the tires on his Dad's truck so he couldn't follow us."

"Good. That's really good, kid. Just bring em here. We'll figure out what to do from there."

"Right. Ok. Yeah." He turns right instead of left at the next street. The road that leads to the woods. "We'll be there soon, but Chief, it's _bad_. He's...fuck I really think he needs a doctor." 

"We'll get him to one. Jane just...she's needs to see him first or I'll probably have to rebuild the cabin. I promise we'll take him in if he's in that bad of shape." 

"Ok. Ok." Steve is breathing hard as he floors it and Max leans forward, grabbing her brothers bloody hand. "It's going to be ok, Billy. We're here this time." She doesn't know if he can hear her, but she says it anyway. He's been alone in this for too long. He needs to know he's not alone any more. _They're_ not alone anymore. "We're right here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo boy. That was a rough one to write. I need to go watch Disney movies now. 
> 
> And again, I'm so sorry for hurting our boy like that 😭😭😭 
> 
> Next chapter starts off with an El POV.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El finally sees what's been hurting Billy and Steve tries not to break down over the realization that he may have been one of the reasons why Billy has been hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠⚠⚠ Trigger Warnings⚠⚠⚠
> 
> Description of physical injuries  
> Characters emotional response to abuse

It's a Saturday. Jim is watching a game on the TV and El is sitting at the table working on word sheets when she feels it. The sharp and sudden _hurt._

She knocks over the chair when she jumps up. Jim is on his feet too because he heard the chair fall. 

He looks worried. "What's wrong?"

" _Billy_." She says and runs to her room to find the blindfold. 

Jim is standing beside the TV, making it static when she sits down and starts to look. 

It doesn't take very long to find him this time. But she thinks it may have been better not to. Max is running. She is scared. She passes right through El, vanishing into smoke. "Max." She says. 

Then she _sees_ him. Her chest hurts and she can't breathe. She _never_ sees it _happen_ but she can see it now. 

" _No_!" She screams running toward the man kicking Billy on the floor. _His Papa._ She _knows_ he can't hear her but she screams anyway, raises her hand, tries to stop him. "Stop! Stop! _No_! Leave him _alone!"_ Her voice cracks with power behind it. 

"Ja-El!" She can hear Jim next to her but it is like he is far away. She can feel the shaking of the floor under her but she can't stop. 

She has to _get_ to him. She has to help! "Stop! _Please_ , stop!"

"Honey, You gotta _calm down._ El, come on. Tell me what's happening." 

Tears fall down her face. She makes herself look at the places he's hurt. There's, "Blood." She touches the blood on her own nose. The angry man is getting down on the floor wrapping his hands around his throat. "No no no no! _Stop_ ! Don't!" She can't help him! She can't reach him! She's _stuck!_

"Shit. Shit. Ok! You gotta stop watching! You're going to bring the whole house down, kid. Don't look! You said Max. Is _Max_ there? Find _Max_. Can you do that, El? _Find_ _Max_." 

Max. _Find Max._ She makes herself turn her back to the fight, but she is still shaking. Still crying. She can see her friend sitting. "She's in...a car." She sees her bring up the walkie and focuses all her energy to hear what she is saying.

_Steve! He needs help. Please hurry!_

_Shit! I'm coming. Hold on._

"She is talking to _Steve_ . Steve is _coming."_

She can hear a yell behind her and she turns around. Billy is on top of the man now, hitting him. "Billy is fighting now." She says and runs back towards him. "He has a _cup._ " 

She watches him smash the cup against the man's head again and again. He stops moving. "His Papa isn't moving." He hits him one more time and she moves closer but he stops and turns his head. It looks like he can _see_ her but that's not right. She _knows_ he can't. 

Then he starts to shake and looks back down. He drops the bloody cup and Max is there. "Max is next to him. But he is bleeding. He looks...bad. I have to go! I have to help!"

Tears are streaming down her face as she yanks the cloth off and then Jim is hugging her to his chest. "It's ok, kid. You're ok. You shouldn't have had to see that, but we are going to help him ok. You did good. You did _so good."_ He is touching her hair. 

"I have to _go._ I _have to go_ . Let me _go_ ! _"_

"No. No. Listen, if you go you will end up killing that man." 

Yes. That is the point. 

"You can't kill anymore, El. Not like that. We have to do this the right way this time."

She doesn't understand.

"But, his Papa almost killed him." She says, and another angry tear falls. "He's a _bad_ man!"

"I know. I know he is. But we can't kill him. But we _are_ going to help Billy and make sure he can't hurt him again."

She nods but her chest hurts and her body is shaking from crying so hard. She needs to see Billy. She needs to make sure he is ok. 

"I gotta get my radio. I need to contact Steve." 

"Here. Bring him _here_. Need to see him. "

"Ok. I'll tell Steve, but you have to stay _calm_."

She nods again and lets him go. Now that his arms are not around her, she can see that the cabin is a mess. Nothing is hanging on the walls and all the furniture is in different spots. A couple of things look broken. She needs to fix it. She can do that. She can do that while she waits for him. 

She can hear Jim trying different channels. He is calling for Steve to answer. When he finally does, El can hear hurt in Steve's voice. Steve is _scared._

"They will be here soon," Jim tells her. His voice is calm but she can tell he is mad. Not at her. He sits next to her on the floor. "You ok, kid?"

"Angry." She says. It is how she feels. "Want to do something."

"Yeah, I get that. I'm angry too. But our first priority is making sure that boy is safe." 

"Safe. _I_ will keep him safe."

He smiles at her. "I'm sure you can, but you don't have to do it on your own." 

She hears a car at four-one-seven. 

She looks at the door and unlocks the locks. She flings it open and stands up. 

Jim runs outside and she can hear Max talking. She walks closer to the open door. Can see Steve. Steps onto the porch and feels the power surging outward. 

Jim is carrying Billy toward the house. He isn't moving. 

The planks on the porch vibrate. The nails in the window pane come loose. Her nose is wet. 

"El." Jim is using his _listen to me_ voice. "He's breathing, honey. It's ok." 

It's not ok. "This is not ok."

Max runs up to the porch. Her cheek is red. El touches it. "Papa hurt you too." 

"It's ok. El, I'm fine. But we need to help Billy."

"Yes." 

"So you gotta control it, kid." Jim says and she understands. They can't get into the cabin. She is making things move. 

She takes two big breathes and everything stops. 

"Good. Good job." He is moving past her now. Bringing Billy inside. 

Steve puts a hand on her shoulder. His eyes are wet and his hands are shaking. "Hop said you saw it."

She nods.

"El! You and Max get me some towels. Harrington, water duty."

"Come on." Steve says and she follows him inside. 

She tries to focus on the things that Jim is telling her. Gets him things he needs. Watches him cut off Billy's shirt. Watches Steve clean his face. He is talking to Billy even though he is still asleep. 

Steve is _really really_ sad. 

Says it's _his fault._

Jim tells him that is stupid and to shut up and keep working. So, he does. 

Jim says his nose is broken. That all the blood came from there. He shines a flash light in his eyes. A concussion. He says that is _typical._

Max is sitting on Jim's chair when Steve finally cleans all the blood off his neck. There are dark splotches there. She remembers his papa wrapping his hands around him. 

Max sees it. She is crying. El stands beside her and takes her hand. They don't say anything while Jim keeps looking at the places he's hurt. 

Steve says he wants to go to the hospital. He keeps saying it. He is worried. Billy is still asleep. He is breathing funny. Jim presses on different places on his chest. 

Billy makes hurt noises. 

"Yeah, uh. We should take him in. His ribs are broken and I can't tell if they've punctured a lung." He looks at them. "El. Max. I want you to stay here. I'll call Joyce to have her come over."

"No! I need to stay with Billy!" Max yells. 

"I know you want to, but it may not be safe, Max. I'm going to take care of Neil personally, but until I can do that, he is still a threat. He knows how badly Billy is hurt. He will expect you to show up at a hospital. It will be better if you aren't there."

She looks halfway mad but she says "Fine." 

El helps get him into Jim's truck. Before they leave El touches Billy's face. Says "I'm sorry." And steps away. 

If she looks at him more she will be angry again. So she looks away and gives Max a hug. She looked like she wanted a hug. Maybe El wants a hug too. 

* * *

  
Steve had been helping Dustin with his project, and by helping he meant driving him around to get a poster board and markers, and was talking to his mother in the living room when he heard what sounded like Max's frantic voice calling his name through Dustin's walkie. 

The sudden feeling of dread nearly knocked the air out of his lungs as he sprinted into the boys room. 

The words she'd said when he'd gotten there had the room spinning for a moment. _It's Billy. He's going to die._

Dustin had looked at him, fear evident on his face as he asked Max if it was Upside Down related. Of course, Dustin would think that. He doesn't have any idea what is really going on. 

Steve asks if Max is ok, because hell, she is a spit fire and if she sounds this worked up, she may be hurt as well. But she says she is fine and it's just Billy and begs him to _hurry._

Like she needs to beg him. He's already out the fucking door. 

He'd grabbed the bat from the trunk and threw it into the back seat before jumping into the car and telling Max to wait for him. 

He did sixty almost the whole way there, mind racing, and heart beating wildly inside him. 

He'd tried to prepare himself for whatever he was about to walk into. If they were still going at it, Steve would have to get in the middle, and he didn't know if he would be able to stop himself from hurting Billy's dad. Didn't think he'd really mind it. 

But when he pulled up behind the truck, he could see Max and Billy sitting on the porch. 

They were both completely soaked in blood. 

_No. No. No. No._

He'd rushed up to them, fear wrapping around him like a snake. Max told him that Neil was passed out and that the blood all over them was from Billy's nose but Billy was having a hard time focusing and his words were slurred and choppy. He was in terrible shape and Steve was just as furious as he was worried. 

Then the little shit passed out and Steve couldn't focus on his anger, because he was too busy panicking and trying to get him into the car. He needed to get them away from here. Far far away. He needed to keep them _safe._

But he'd startled when the front door banged open behind them. Max looked so damn terrified and Steve knew he'd do whatever it took to get her and Billy out of there. Even if it meant facing down Neil. 

All the fear and panic he'd been feeling since the moment he'd heard Max scream his name had disappeared in an instant when he looked at the man who claimed to be a father, and in its place was sheer protective determination. He'd grabbed his bat and made a show of it. Hoping that maybe the man would think better of making a scene. 

Dude must have some serious control issues, because even when faced with a bat full of nails, he still tried to intimidate Steve into leaving, into giving him Billy 

Then his dad had said he _recognized_ him from the theatre, and Steve felt like he'd been doused with icy water. He did _not_ like the implications of that, and listening to the man's foul tirade made him so angry he had to grip the bat tightly to keep himself from moving and just smashing him in the face with it. 

Is this what Billy had been dealing with for years? 

He refused to back down to this dick. 

He ended up exchangimg a few unpleasant words, and threatened him because like hell he was going to let him near Billy again, and bashed some holes in the bastards tires for good measure, to keep him from following them, from _hurting_ them. 

Coming face to face with the reality of what has been happening to Billy is nearly overwhelming once they are safely away from Neil. He blinks back tears as he listens to Max and he tries to focus on the road. They need to get help, Steve can break down about this fucked up situation later. 

When he hears Hopper's voice he is so damn relieved, even if the reason for him contacting them is because El had apparently seen what was happening. That freaks him out a bit and wonders how she she'd done it. He heads for the cabin, even though he feels like he should go straight to the hospital, because in all honesty, he needs more than Max's help to deal with this. 

For all the stories he's heard about El, and all the times he's been around her, Steve had never seen her use her powers for more than just moving a drink or something to make the kids happy. He knew she'd killed people, a lot of people, but he never could _actually_ picture her doing something like that. 

When she appears on the porch and sees Billy passed out in Hopper's arms, Steve can picture every _one_ of those people's deaths. 

He's almost afraid. The porch looks like it's a moment away from shaking apart and tree branches are floating in the air all around them. She's breathing hard, her nose is bloody, and she's staring at Billy like she'd burn the world down for him. 

Hopper tells her that he's breathing and Max runs up to her. They get her to calm down enough to get Billy safely inside. Steve rests a hand on her shoulder because Hopper had said she _saw_ it happen, so if anyone is as angry as he is about this, it's her. 

Steve doesn't really know _how_ he is functioning so well right now. He thinks he's holding up pretty good given the circumstances. He just wants Billy to be ok. Needs him to be ok. So, he tries to be calm and just whispers to the blond, tells him that _it's going to be ok, You're so brave, You're going to be fine,_ and he follows the Chiefs orders as he barks them. He focuses on his task of cleaning the blood off Billy's face enough to be able to see if he has any wounds, and tries to block out everything else, but when he gently wipes off his damaged eyebrow, he gets a painful reminder of the night he got that scar. 

_I recognize you, now. From the theatre._

He swallows the bile that rushes up his throat. He remembers the look on Billy's face when he'd seen the truck. Remembers the butterfly bandage, and the bruises. He remembers Billy begging him not to ask where they came from, or why. 

Steve thinks he knows why now. 

His Dad had seen them standing together by Billy's car. Had _apparently_ thought they were having sex. Had _hit_ Billy over the assumption. 

_It was Steve's fault._

He must have said it out loud because Hopper is telling him that that is stupid and he needs to shut up and focus on his work. 

It does help, to focus on the cloth in his hand and the feeling of it gently scrubbing red off of tan skin. He still feels like crying but at least he's not _think_ ing so much. 

Until Hopper starts listing off injuries, until he sees the bruising around his neck, and then he's fucking sick to his stomach and pissed off all at once. They need to go to the hospital. They have to go!

He's shaking again and it takes a lot of effort to calm his racing heart when Hopper agrees because there may be a punctured lung. 

He meets El's eyes and she looks upset and angry too.

It takes some convincing on Hopper's part to get Max to stay behind with El but they somehow manage. El helps them get Billy into the Blazer and before they leave she touches Billy's face so fondly and Steve feels like there is some kind of connection there. He'll have to ask her about it later. 

Max comes to the door and thanks Steve for coming for them and when they pull out of the dirt drive, he sees the girls hugging on the porch. It makes his heart hurt. 

The Chief turns on his lights and floors it through town. 

Steve is sitting in the back, with Billy's head in his lap, and he's carefully stroking his hair and doesn't give one single fuck what this probably looks like to Hopper. He is so past caring at this point. Not when the boy he lov- _likes_ is possibly knocking on death's door right now. 

"You alive back there, Harrington?"

He looks up and meets the Chiefs eyes in the rear view mirror. "Yeah 'm fine." 

"It's not your fault you know." He says after a moment, and Steve wants to _laugh_ . Because maybe what happened _today_ wasn't his fault. But some of his last injuries _were._

"I'm responsible for some of it." He mutters. "I just didn't _know_ until his dad told me."

"Wait, you _spoke_ to Neil?"

"Yeah, I uh- he came outside when I was getting Billy into the car." 

"What did he say?"

"God, you don't want to know, ok? It was… it was… no one should talk about their kid like that." 

He's quiet again as they turn onto the highway. 

"Steve, if we're going to nail the bastard for what he's done, we'll have to get yours and Max's statements. And Billy's too when he's up for it." 

Ok. Yeah. He knows he'll have to tell the police his version of events, but that's a little… 

"Do I have to tell them _everything_ he said?" 

"That's usually how these things work, kid. But if you want, I can be the one to take your statement. Is there something he said that you're worried about?" 

Steve squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't think _he_ cares what other people think about him or what _Neil Hargrove_ has to say about him, but _Billy might_. 

"He… Chief, it's… " 

"Take your time, kid." 

"One of the reasons I think his dad hurts him… is because… shit." He shouldn't be outing him like this. What if Hopper gets disgusted and doesn't care what happens anymore? He doesn't think Hopper is that kind of person, but you never know. 

"Ok. Let me ask you this. Why did you think it was _your_ fault?"

"Because he saw us together at the movie theatre a couple weeks ago." He admits. "I guess he thought we were standing _too close_ or something. He thought that we were…uh- " He can't even _say_ it. 

"Sleeping together?"

Steve blinks and his eyes shoot up to lock with Hopper's in the mirror again. 

"Yeah, kid. I kind of figured."

"But we _didn't._ We _weren't_ …" He doesn't say they _wouldn't or_ _won't,_ because that would be a lie. 

"Doesn't matter to people like Neil. I bet it's not the first time he hurt his son over an assumption, no matter how likely or unlikely it is. Even if you two... _are_ together, that still doesn't give him the right to hurt his son like this. And despite what most folks think, you don't really get to choose who you love. And none of this is your fault. _Or_ Billy's." 

He wants to believe him. He does, but he still worries about the backlash Billy might face. "But do we really have to put that in the report? I don't want Billy to get more hurt because of it. Especially because we're not like... _queer o_ r _together_ or whatever." Because they aren't. At least not _yet._

"He's a minor. These files will be confidential. You don't have to worry about your classmates finding out about it."

There's a groan in his lap and he looks down to see Billy's eyes fluttering open. "Steve? Where-" He tries to move but winces and then wheezes with the effort. 

"Hey, shh, it's ok." He takes Billy's hand into his. "Don't move. We're taking you to the hospital."

"Max?" He croaks. 

"She's safe, Billy. You protected her. She's ok."

Steve can tell, even behind the swelling that he looks relieved. "That's good. I'm ...gonna...just ...sleep...stay with me?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll stay. I'm not going _anywhere_." 

He squeezes Steve's hand and slips back into unconsciousness. 

Hopper clears his throat. "Not together huh?"

Steve's ears heat up and he looks quickly out the window. " _Shut up_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew- so almost done with the rough reading, there will probably be a few more triggering things in the next chapters because of hospitalization and Hopper talking to Neil. 
> 
> But yeah, it's been rough folks. If I don't update every day like I have been doing, it's because I needed to step back for a minute. It is very emotional for me to write scenes like that. 
> 
> ALSO!! I love talking with you all on here! And if you want to message me or talk or ask questions, feel free to do that! I'm not shy at all and am on Tumblr a lot lately. So, don't be shy! 😁


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max breaks down, Neil shows up at the hospital, and Hopper tries to do things the right way. (Though he'd rather take him out the wrong way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> Guess y'all didn't have to wait super long for the next update. 
> 
> There is a Hopper POV at the end, but I don't know how well I caught his voice, so if it isn't as great as other POV's I've written, my bad! 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠ TW's⚠⚠⚠
> 
> Character emotional response  
> Descriptions of blood  
> Overall Neil Hargrove warning  
> Homophobic slurs

It's been at least fifteen minutes and Max is still sitting on the wooden steps of the cabin, staring at the empty space that Hopper's truck had been. Where it had disappeared, taking her brother with it. She glances at the Beamer but that makes her feel _worse_ because she can _see_ blood smeared across the passenger side window and she knows it's on the seat too. 

There's no where she can really look that _doesn't_ have Billy's blood splattered across it, though. It's on the door jamb where his arm had brushed it. It's on the blanket and pillow lying on the couch. It's on the ten towels they'd used to clean him up with, lying in a pile next to the chair. It's in the sink where El had dumped out the pink tinged water, and it's on _her._

It's soaked into her tank top and jeans. It's caked under her fingernails and smeared across her skin alongside her freckles. It's mixed with the red of her hair. It's on her cheek from where she'd helped Steve get him into the car. It's _everywhere._

She imagines that she can _taste_ it. 

She leans over the side of the steps and pukes onto the ground. 

El is standing in the door with a pair of pants and a shirt by the time she is finished. "You can take a shower." She says. "I'll clean so you don't have to see it anymore."

"El-" She feels like crying. "No, I can help. I just-" She looks down at the evidence, the _consequences_ of her mistakes, and swallows the saliva pooling in her mouth. "I just need a second." 

"Go. Shower. I'll clean. The boys are coming."

"They are?"

She nods. "Coming with Joyce. Dustin called them. They know Billy was hurt and that you are here. They want to see you."

"Ok, that's-" She does want to see Lucas, especially after the awful things that were said. About her, about Lucas. Even before Billy got there. "I'm glad they're coming. I'll just..." 

El smiles sadly and makes sure she gets the shower running before leaving Max alone. 

She avoids the mirror, doesn't want to see what her face looks like. Doesn't want to remember it when she closes her eyes, so she peels the clothes from her body, facing away, and tosses them in a pile near the door. 

She hopes El will just burn them. 

She's been cold for over an hour so the heat from the shower is a welcome feeling. She sticks her face right in the spray and lets it wash away her tears. She grabs a cloth, pours more soap than she needs onto it, and sobs as she starts to scrub the blood from her body. It's so unfair, she thinks, that none of it is hers. 

Sure, Billy is an _asshole_ . He's rude and loud. He used to break her stuff, has left bruises on her wrists and can be scary at times, but he also remembers her favorite flavor of milkshake when they go to the diner. He lets her choose what song they listen to on the way to school when she's having a bad morning. He _bought her sprite after they fought because he heard her throwing up beforehand._

They'd been decent siblings back in Cali, not friends, but not hostile. And since moving here he acted like he didn't care about her, but after finding out about the Upside Down? She _knew_ he did. God, even if she'd had any doubts before, he'd just freaking proved it today by throwing his own safety out the window to make sure she got out of that house without any real damage. 

He _protected_ her, even though she really probably had it coming. He'd warned her about Neil finding out about Lucas. He'd told her at least one hundred times. She should have been more careful. If she had been, maybe Billy wouldn't be in the hospital again.

Because of her.

_Again._

She's a crap sister. She's selfish and careless and if Billy...if he is ok, she is going to do whatever she can to make it up to him. She'll be his bitch until he graduates. She doesn't care. She just wants him to be ok. She wants to make it right. She wants to say she's _sorry._

_She's so fucking sorry._

She stays under the spray of the water until the heat fades from it and when she opens the door dressed in El's clothes she sees Lucas standing in the living room.

"Max?" She nearly breaks down again when she hears his voice, and he's pulling her into a hug and telling her how sorry he is. He touches her cheek and curses her step father. She feels a little better being held in his arms. But the guilt doesn't go away. 

They sit down on the now clean couch together and Dustin stands near the arm of the chair. "I'm sorry. We didn't know… We didn't know it was like that at your house."

"Not your fault. He didn't want anyone to know. Made me keep it a secret."

Mrs Byers looks upset at her words and comes to sit next to them while Will sits on the floor by his mom. 

"Are you, alright, though?" Will asks. "You're not hurt?"

"No. I- Billy made sure I didn't get hurt."

"Fucking asshole." Dustin mutters and stomps off towards the porch. They all know who he's referring to. 

Max had seen Mike holding El's hand at the kitchen table. "What about you?" He asks her. "Are _you_ ok? Joyce said you were using your powers."

"Yes. I found Billy. I knew he was in trouble. I saw what his Papa did."

Mike sounds disturbed when he curses, "Oh, _shit_ , El."

El stands up suddenly. Max can hear the chair scoot back. "I'm going to look." She says, and they all know what she means. She's going to check on Billy. Mike follows her into her room, carrying a walkie with him. 

The atmosphere is thick and nearly suffocating after she leaves, until Will breaks the silence. "Billy's going to be ok, right?"

Mrs Byers rubs his back. "I'm sure he will, sweetie." 

Dustin fidgets by the front door. "I saw Steve's bat-"

Max nods. "Yeah, Steve was _awesome_. He-" She remembers how he sounded when he told Neil he wouldn't let him touch Billy again. "He stopped Neil from coming after us." 

Lucas gives her arm a light squeeze. "Max, has he been- hitting you this whole time?" 

"No." She looks down at her hands. "Until today, he only ever hit Billy." 

She thinks she hears Will sniffle. 

Mike comes out of El's room, then. "She said he's in surgery." 

Max doesn't realize she's sobbing until Lucas squeezes her again and Mrs Byers is kneeling on the floor in front of her, taking her hands into hers. "Max, sweetie. It's ok. If he's in surgery then they are fixing the problems. We have to believe that he'll be fine."

"My fault. _My fault._ " She mumbles. 

"Oh, honey. It's not your fault. The only person to blame is your step father. You didn't do anything wrong."

"No. I did. I didn't listen. And now he's in the hospital. Again. And I can't even tell him I'm sorry." 

No one knows what to say to her, so they all just stay quiet as she sobs and Joyce rubs her thumbs in circles on her hands. 

El turns on the TV and flips through the channels until she finds a sitcom. It's not very interesting, but at least it fills the space with noise instead of heavy silence. 

And Max is so _tired_ and her head _hurts,_ her eyes are dry and she just wants to _sleep_ , so she scoots down into the couch and closes her eyes. After a moment she falls asleep in Lucas's lap, listening to the sound of the TV.

* * *

  
Steve is sitting in an ugly blue waiting room chair, staring at the large door they had taken Billy through forty minutes ago, when he hears a dainty yet familiar voice at the information desk. "I'm looking for a William Hargrove, does he happen to be a patient here?"

Steve's spine snaps straight and he swivels his head to look, and sure enough, Max's mom is standing there looking _worried._

What a great time for Hopper to be in the cafeteria searching for _better coffee._

He stands up, hands shaking, because _this lady_ , and he _knows_ she's Max's _mom,_ ok? But this lady _stood by_ while her husband beat on his son on a near weekly basis and did _nothing_ to help him. 

"Are you a relative?" The older lady with glasses asks her. 

"I'm his mo- step mother."

Steve is behind her in two seconds flat. " _What are you doing here?_ "

The cold fury in his voice surprises him just as much as it does her and the nurse behind the desk. 

Wide blue eyes turn to look up at him. " _Oh._ You're Billy's friend." Her face looks relieved? "Do you know where he and Max are? We-" Her eyes trail down his body and he knows she's finally realizing he's covered in blood. Her face pales. "Whose - what _happened?"_

"What _happened_?" He repeats, eyes narrowing. " _Ask your piece of shit husband."_

She looks terrified and her eyes search frantically around the room. "Where is Maxine?"

"Someplace _safe._ No thanks to _you._ " He hisses, "But it's all thanks to _Billy_ , who still could _die_ because he was protecting her."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean? What happened? Where is my daughter?"

Again, he gets that she's Max's mom, but he'd just told her Billy could _die_ and Max is _safe_. Shouldn't she be a little more concerned about her step son? 

"Where's your husband? Why don't you ask _him_? I'm sure he'd _love_ to fill you in on what a fun day he had with the kids."

He knows he's being mean. But shit, it's taking everything in him not to scream at her. 

She looks like she is about to say something back when the elevator door opens and she looks over Steve's shoulder, her lips pinching together and her eyes nervous. " _Susan_ , are they her-" 

Steve feels cold all over. 

There is no _fucking_ way Neil Hargrove is standing behind him. In this hospital, in this _waiting room,_ where Billy is in next ward getting _surgery_ because the fucker broke his goddamn ribs, collapsed his lung and caused internal bleeding. 

He closes his hands into fists and turns around. 

"Hmm. Fancy seeing _you_ here." Neil says, his voice clipped. His forehead has a row of stitches and there are bruises blooming across his jaw and eye from where Billy hit him. It's way less damage than he deserves. "I guess we're in the right place, then."

"Thought _I told you_." Steve growls, his whole body vibrating with adrenaline. "I won't let you _touch him_. You better turn around right now and _leave_." 

"Susan, honey." He addresses his wife but keeps his eyes focused on Steve. "Why don't you have that lovely nurse call security. This young man was the one that _assaulted_ me."

Shock and rage come over him. "Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" 

The older man smiles. It's twisted and cold. _" Thought I told you,_ " he mocks, "that you'd regret it."

Steve is a second away from just clocking this asshole when the elevator pings again and he sees Hopper coming towards them. 

"Chief-" He chokes because he's so angry and so relieved he can barely speak. 

Neil turns around but he doesn't look the least bit worried when he sees the Chief of Police. "Oh, just the person we need to talk to. Sir, I'd like to report an assault and ask that you remove this man from-" 

Steve has just about had enough. "You son of a-" 

He feels Jim's big comforting hand on his shoulder as he presses him back. "Easy, kid. Easy. Now's not the time." He turns back to Neil and Steve can see how rigid his shoulders are. "Mr Hargrove. I was actually sending someone to your house to pick you up for questioning. It seems you've saved me the trouble, though." 

That cool and collected mask slips right off his face. "Excuse me?" 

"We've received two reports of a domestic dispute at your residence earlier today, and one, William Hargrove has been admitted into this facility and is undergoing an operation to repair damage caused by blunt force trauma and bodily assault. You wouldn't happen to know anything about how that happened, would you, sir?" 

"I do." He looks at Steve with disdain. "But it isn't exactly…an appropriate conversation to be having here."

"Well, then why don't we take this down to the station?"

"What about the _boy_?" He asks, and Hopper bristles. 

"Oh, I'll have a talk with him later. Don't you worry. I'll get one of my deputies to make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

Neil smiles at him again and Steve wants to scream. Wants to throw things. Wants to wrap his hands around the man's throat so hard that he'll have bruises that outdo his sons. 

Hopper looks back at him and Steve can read his expression clearly. _Stay here, kid. I'll handle this._

He nods and watches the two men get back into the elevator. 

Susan is still standing completely still behind him. 

"He's in surgery?" She asks quietly, and Steve almost asks what she's talking about until it hits him. 

He looks at her and decides he's too high on emotions to keep being an ass to her. 

"Yeah, they took him back a while ago." Her eyes look a little misty and Steve kind of wants to scream again. "I wasn't kidding," He says instead, "what I said earlier. He's in there because he was protecting Max from your husband."

"But Neil _wouldn't-_ " 

"He _did._ He _hit_ her, Mrs Hargrove. And if Billy hadn't been there to stop him, _she_ could have been the one in surgery. So, you should probably think about _that_ before you take his side later." 

And then he walks away because his throat is tight and his eyes are stinging and all he wants to do is curl up next to Billy and hold his hand and protect him from all this shit. 

He sits back down in his stupid blue chair and puts his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, and focuses on breathing. He just has to keep breathing. Keep it together. Don't break down in this waiting room. 

He doesn't know how much time passes with him on the verge of panic, when a pair of small white shoes walk into his line of sight. 

"Steve."

He looks up and everything that he'd been doing to hold back the tears, the pain, the _panic,_ just breaks wide open. " _Nancy?"_

 _"Oh, Steve."_ And then there are arms around him and he's burying his face into her stomach, clinging to her like he might float away if he let's go. He's sobbing and shaking and she stands there, fingers running through his hair as she tells him _it's going to be alright. Everything is going to be ok._

By the time he's done crying Jonathan is sitting beside him, one hand running soothingly on his back while Nancy continues whispering to him. 

Finally he leans back and wipes his face. "How did you guys-" 

"Mom," Jonathan says, "she uh- said you came here with Billy and Hop. We wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm _not_." Steve tells them as Nancy sits on his other side. "I'm not ok. This is fucked... This is… " He lowers his voice, " _different_ than fighting Demogorgons. At least I could _kill_ those."

"How bad _is it,_ Steve?" Nancy asks, and sure they aren't exactly _best friends_ with Billy, but they'd gotten pretty used to him being around and him and Jonathan actually had some things in common. They are probably worried too. "Joyce didn't know."

He looks down at himself, at Billy's dried blood on his jacket and sees her shiver. "It was _bad,_ Nance. I…I barely got them out of that house." 

"Jesus." Jonathan mutters. "His dad? Is he-" 

"The Chief is talking to him, but I have a feeling he is going to try pinning a lot of shit on me." He sighs. "Probably doesn't realize I have an in with Hopper."

Jonathan frowns. "Why would he do that, though?"

"I threatened him. With the bat. Wouldn't let him near Billy or Max. He uh- he probably hates me on _principle_ now too, since he thinks…that I'm uh- Billy's..." might as well have his friends in the loop. He may need them to get through this shit show, " _boyfriend_."

Nancy looks a little shocked. "He thinks you're _what?"_

Jonathan, though, looks like he can see it. "Oh. Huh. "

He sighs again. "It's a long story and I don't even know the half of it. Just put it together because of the things he was saying to me. He acted like he knew exactly who I was to Billy."

"But wait… you're _not_ his boyfriend, right?" Nancy asks. 

"I'm not.. _not_ his boyfriend?" 

"Oh, my _god_."

Jonathan gives a small half smile. "Come on, Nancy. Don't tell me you never noticed all the flirting? And Steve was getting _really_ handsy when he was drunk not too long ago."

 _Yes, thank you, Jonathan_.

Her mouth pops open. "What? I just thought-"

 _"Anyways,"_ Steve interrupts, "It's not like…official or anything and I don't know if it ever will be, considering part of the reason his dad hurt him in the past was because of me… so… " He looks down at the floor. "And he might not even… " He trails off because it's an ugly, tormenting thought. 

Nancy squeezes his hand. "He's going to be ok, Steve. Billy is like.. the most badass person I know besides _me."_

He laughs sadly, because it's kind of true. 

They sit quietly then, both of their hands in his as they wait for the doctor. 

He knows Susan is still there. Can feel her eyes on the back of his head but he doesn't care about her right now. He just needs to stay calm so he can be there for Billy when he wakes up. 

It's seven nineteen when the doctor comes out and he jumps up from the chair. 

Susan is right behind him.

"The surgery was a success. We stopped the bleeding in the intestinal tract and his lung is fully inflated. He's being moved to a recovery room now, but we'll be keeping him under for awhile longer. Once he's in his room you can go up."

"Thanks, Doc." Steve says, his heart lighter than it has been in nearly six hours. 

Susan thanks him as well and turns to Steve. "I've been thinking about what you said. I want to see him. And then I'll leave. I'm going to pack a bag and get a motel room. Will you tell Max that I'll be at the Motel 6 if she wants to speak to me."

He blinks and nods his head. "Sure. Yeah. I'll tell her." 

She moves to walk away, but pauses, addressing him once more. "Thank you for being a good friend to him." She says, and then she returns to her seat to wait for the room number. 

"That was weird." Jonathan says. 

Nancy agrees. "What did you say to her earlier?"

"Something she didn't want to hear, but really needed to."

Five minutes later they are cramming into the elevator to find room 307. When they finally find it, and he opens the door, he nearly cries again. 

Billy looks even worse hooked up to IV's and wrapped in bandages, his face turning a dark shade of purple and blue. He knows his body probably looks just as bad, if not _worse_ , under his hospital gown and he's glad that they kept him under, because if _Steve_ fucking hurts just _looking_ at him. He can't imagine what it actually _feels_ like. 

He just sits down in a chair next to him, grabs his hand and really really wishes he could feed Neil Hargrove to a demodog. 

* * *

Jim is not a stranger to dealing with assholes. He's been dealing with assholes since he was twelve years old. The kind that mock you for where you live. The kind that trip you because they think it's funny. The kind that think they are better than you because their mommy and daddy say so. The kind that blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life. 

But Neil Hargrove is the type of asshole that really gets under his skin and makes all that hormonal and fiery testosterone of his youth come rising to the top. 

He's arrogant, sitting in the interrogation room like he owns it. He's got a story already made up in his head. Probably started rehearsing it as soon as Steve Harrington drove off with his son. It's probably near perfect by now. 

Jim has seen this before. Has been on the _other side_ of it. Listened to _his dad_ explain away the broken arm, listened to him blame _him_ for the stolen money and the dented fender. He's seen how this plays out a dozen times at least. 

Except, now Jim is on _this_ side of the table. And he's not some good ol' boy cop that _knows what it's like to have a rebellious son,_ and that will turn the other way when the seventeen year old with a black eye and busted lip pleads for help with his eyes. 

No, he's dealt with and despises enough of those kind of cops to never become one himself. 

He can see the man in front of him thinks he's got this in the bag. And he honestly still could if Jim can't keep his composure. So, he'll play nice.

For now. 

"Would you like a smoke?" He asks Hargrove. The man politely declines. "Mind if I do?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks." He lights up and takes a deep drag, trying to calm his fury. Just looking at this man has his gut rolling. He keeps picturing the patchwork of bruises in varying degrees of healing. The broken nose. The swollen eye. He can remember the weight of the kid in his arms as he carried him unconscious into the house. Remembers El _screaming_ and trying to kill the man across from him from their goddamn living room.

The bastard is lucky she can't kill from that empty space. 

"So, can you tell me, in your own words, what happened in your home today?"

Neil levels him with a look he's seen one too many times. "I feel like I have to give it to you straight here, Chief Hopper, so that you'll understand. I've been dealing with a _troubling_ family situation for awhile now." He steeples his hands in front of his chin. "I'm _loathe_ to admit this, because small towns do love their gossip, but I guess there's no way around it now. You see, my son fancies himself a fag."

Jim already knows the kind of man Neil is. Already knew what kind of words Steve hadn't wanted to say. But it still pisses him off to hear them. "Oh, yeah? " He plays along. "Didn't really peg him for a queer."

"He's decent at hiding it. But a father always _knows_."

"So, you've been having trouble with William for awhile then?"

He nods. "I had my suspicions about him years ago, but as a father I hoped I was wrong. You don't want to believe your children have fallen into that kind of depravity. He was acting out after his mama left, so I let it slide. Figured he was just angry about his mom so it's my fault really. I didn't get ahold of him soon enough. By the time I caught him with another fairy in California, I feared it was too late for him."

He recalls Harrington saying something about Neil putting Billy in the hospital before moving to Indiana. "What happened in California?"

"Like I said, I caught him with another little faggot. Tried to teach him a lesson, but he ran off with the little queer and go into a car accident. I thought it was fitting. Thought maybe this will be the sign he needed to change."

"That why you moved out here?"

"It is. One of my old Army buddies lives in Gas City. He suggested I come out here to get him away from the California influence. He said there aren't queers out here." He shakes his head. "But wouldn't you _know it,_ I find out my son is at it again with a boy from school. I thought we had made some progress, you know? Thought leaving California would help him with that unnatural behavior. Thought he wouldn't be able to find anyone else like him around here. So, imagine my _disappointment_."

"So… what did you do after finding this out?"

"I punished him, of course. Kids have to have discipline or they'll never learn. Some kids are just more stubborn than others. William is as stubborn as they come."

"So, you admit that you were the one that hit your son today?"

"Wouldn't you? If you knew your son was out sucking cock and god knows what else? Bringing diseases into your house? Parading that message around his little _sister?_ " He's getting heated and Jim can tell he really believes what he's saying. It's also the first time he mentioned Max _at all._ "That kind of thing? _It's not right_ . It's not _normal_. How else am I supposed to bring him back around? A little smack never hurt anyone."

"No, but a punctured lung does."

He frowns. " _That_ only happened because I ended up having to defend myself. His boyfriend showed up. Got physical with me. I wasn't just going to let those two faggots get away with making a fool of me."

"I didn't see any injuries on the boy at the hospital."

"There wouldn't be would there? He went and got a bat with _nails_ in it. _Nails._ Every heard of such a thing? Threatened to kill me. Tore up my truck with it too. So, you should probably add destruction of private property to that report."

_So, that's how he popped the tires. Oh, hell Steve, that could actually be a big deal. Shit._

He jots it down, because he _has_ to. He is trying to do this by the book first. He wants to do this the right way. If he can. 

"Now, where was your stepdaughter during all this?"

"She was there, but then she ran off. They probably scared the shit out of her."

Yeah, sure. Billy and _Steve_ scared the shit out of her. 

"Well, Mr Hargrove." He says after finishing his notes, "I appreciate you coming down here to set the record straight. But we still have to get all eye witness accounts, including your sons and stepdaughters when we locate her. I'll release you to go back to your house for now, but I'll ask that you stay away from the hospital until my deputies and I have all the facts and are able to assess the situation and that you don't leave town."

"Is that boy allowed to be there?"

Jim grips the pen in his hand to the point it almost snaps. This bastard really has it out for Steve. He can _tell._ Harrington is going to have to be careful. 

"He will be brought in for questioning, but he is not a danger to your son's physical well being, so I don't think banning him from the hospital is necessary. We can't say the same about you at this point in time, and the doctors won't allow anyone near him that will halt his progress. But if you want updates on his status, feel free to contact us at any time."

" _Fine._ " He says, mouth tight. Jim knows he is not happy about any of the things he said. "Am I free to go?"

Jim nods. "For now. We'll let you know if anything changes."

Neil stands from the table and nods to him. "Thanks for your time, Chief."

And then he is walking out the door and as soon as Jim knows he is far enough away, he kicks the chair Hargrove had been sitting on, across the room. It clangs loudly against the wall. 

He almost hopes doing this the right way _doesn't_ work. Just so he can drag the mother fucker out to the woods in the middle of the night and pay him back for every broken bone, black eye, cut and bloody nose he's ever given his son. 

Killing him would be easy and he'd have all the time in the world. No one would miss the asshole except for maybe his old lady, but she could do better anyway. 

He'd get away with it too, because it wouldn't be the _first_ time he'd covered something up in this town, and considering the last year, it probably wouldn't be the _last._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a Billy POV so there will probably be flashbacks and some uncomfortable imagery. But after that it should be good on TW's for awhile.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy dreams, and then he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> I don't know how I feel about this chapter. There's some important information but I feel like I could have done better. But I didn't want to leave y'all hanging so I updated anyway. 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠TW's⚠⚠⚠
> 
> Overall hospital warning  
> Billy has emotional reaponses  
> Discussion of abuse

Billy vaguely remembers the back of the Chiefs Blazer, he was delirious with pain and fading in and out of consciousness, but he does remember looking up into Steve Harrington's deep brown eyes and hearing him promise to stay by his side. 

It all goes hazy after that. 

And then Billy _dreams._

He sees his mother first. She still looks the same as she did seven years ago, and she touches his face and tells him how handsome he is. Tells him he's brave and good. Then she smiles sadly and says that she wishes things would have been different. Tells him she should have taken him with her that first night and not tried to wait until she had a stable job. Tells him she's so sorry for not saving him from Neil. 

And he wonders if maybe she had died. That _he's_ dead now. He hasn't heard from her since he was twelve. She could have died for all he knew. Maybe this is his welcoming party to the after life. 

But she fades away and he finds himself missing her warmth, her smile, her gentle words. 

Then he _knows_ he's not dead because Harrington is calling his name. And he _knows_ Harrington is alive and kicking. He follows the voice and finds him at the edge of the woods, not too far from where they lit up tunnels to the other side, but there are flowers here now. No decaying pumpkins or brittle grass in sight. 

Steve is leaning up on his elbows, back against the green grass and looking at the clouds rolling above them. He smiles when he sees Billy and asks what took him so long. 

He's been waiting, but it's ok. 

If it's for Billy, he'll wait forever. 

He settles down next to him and watches the clouds changing shape. 

Steve sighs and holds his hand. _You should wake up, you know._

"I'd rather stay here with you." 

_I need you._

"You have me."

Steve looks at him with a sad smile. _No, I don't._

The atmosphere shifts dramatically then, and Steve disappears from his hands. A shadow swirls around him, sliding along his body like a second skin. It doesn't _talk_ but somehow it still has a _voice._ He wonders if maybe it's the devil finally giving him his dues. 

Maybe God just granted him one last conversation with the people he wanted to speak to the most and now it was time to go where he really belonged. 

But that wasn't right either. 

The shadow circled around him, tiny spirals spreading out in all directions. The voice, that _wasn't_ a voice, speaking clearly inside his head.

_Weak._

Yeah. He _knows_ he's weak. That's why his dad just beat him nearly to _death._ He doesn't need this shadow thing poking fun at him for it too. 

_Not you._ **_Us_ ** _._

Ok. That's not creepy or anything. 

_Need the source._

The source of what? 

_Our power. Need our queen._

Power? Queen? 

_Need to get stronger._

Why? 

_To stop her._

Stop who? 

Silence. 

"To stop _who_?" He asks out loud but gets no response. 

And then it fades away like it was never there in the first place. 

He dreams of his father after that. Dreams that he'd laid still as his father's fingers wrapped around his throat. Dreams that Max had left, that Steve never arrived and he died right there on the kitchen floor with his father smiling and looming above him. 

He dreams of California. The ocean and the seagulls. He dreams of Hawkins Indiana and the tunnels running beneath it. He dreams of a little girl with powers, crying over him. Hands outstretched to hold, not _hurt._

He dreams of Steve Harrington's naked skin, smooth and white and dotted with freckles and moles. He dreams of kissing every inch of him. Thinks he wouldn't mind dying if he got to spend eternity in his arms. 

The dreams continue, _on and on and on._ He dreams of the Shadow more often than all the others, but it never speaks to him again, just slides alongside him. It is a _heavy_ presence, but it doesn't feel _dangerous_ , at least not that he could tell. But those are the dreams that confuse him the most. 

Now he's dreaming of a hospital bed. He can't open one eye but he can still see sunlight as it filters through the window, its bright beams making the petals of a nearby bouquet of flowers glow a translucent red. 

There's a heart monitor beeping along and something heavy is in his hand. He shifts his eye down and sees floppy brown hair lying across the stark white blanket in his lap and when he sees the sleeping face it belongs to, realizes it's _Steve._

He's holding Steve's _hand._

But the dreams with Steve _never_ start like this and he can open both eyes. He tries to move but his whole body lights up with _pain pain pain._

He groans and shuts his good eye which still apparently fucking hurts the other one _too._

_Fuck._

He's not dreaming. 

He's finally awake. 

"Billy?" Steve is sitting up when he opens his eye again. He is staring at him with a look of pure elation on his face. 

Billy's mouth is dry and his throat fucking _hurts_ when he replies, "Hey, pretty boy." God is that _his_ voice? He sounds like _shit._

Steve jumps up and immediately calls for the nurse. 

"Why.. all the commotion?" He asks slowly, and Steve gives him a strange look. 

"You've been… Billy, you've been asleep for nearly three days."

_Three days?!_

"You fuckin _serious?_ " And now that he's paying attemtion, Steve is wearing a different outfit than the one he'd had on when he swooped in like a fucking knight in shining armor to rescue his ass. 

"Yeah. You had us worried sick, man." 

Before he can say anything else, a team of doctors and nurses usher Steve out of the room and start taking his vital signs, ask him a fuck ton of questions, and give him water when he coughs and winces as his broken ribs protest. 

When they are happy with his answers they give him a dose of morphine for the pain and then leave, promising to be back in an hour to do it all over again. 

_Yay._

Steve comes back in and sits down in the chair next to him. "How do you feel?"

"Like my dad nearly killed me."

Steve grimaces and then gets a dark look in his eyes. "Yeah, about that-"

"It's _funny-_ " Billy interrupts, "I was actually going to tell you about my Dad toni- er the _other_ night. I was thinking about what I was going to say all day. I was going to open up. _Finally_ tell someone. I wanted it to be _you._ But I guess you got to see his handiwork up close and personal without me having to utter a fucking _word."_ He chokes on the last word. 

"Billy-" 

He knows he's crying. He can feel the tears as they fall. They sting the eye still swollen shut but he can't help it. "I didn't want you to _see_ me like that. I _hate_ that you had to see it. But I couldn't…I couldn't let him hurt _Max._ He hit her and I…it's been a long time since I've tried to stand up to him. I _never_ fight back. It's like all the strength I have _leaves me_ when he speaks, but I.. I saw the look he had on his face when he stared at her. I _know_ that look. He wasn't going to stop at a slap and I just...I couldn't let that happen." He doesn't know why he's telling Steve these things. They're just weighing heavy in his chest and wants them gone. At least he isn't crying anymore. He just down to sniffling. "Is she ok?" He thinks about her shirt soaking up the blood on his face. "I probably traumatized her."

"She's downstairs in the cafeteria, actually. All the shits are. They've been… _we've_ been waiting for you to wake up."

"Surely you didn't all camp out in the hospital for two days." He tries to laugh but it hurts, so he stifles it. 

Steve frowns. "The kids go home, but I-" He looks down at the blankets covering Billy's stomach. "Nancy brought me some stuff. Her and Jonathan stayed the first night, but I haven't left your side." 

There's an ache in his chest that has nothing to do with his injuries. "Why the hell would you do that?" 

Brown eyes shoot up to glare at him. "Do you really have to ask?" 

"I just.. I'm not used to people _caring_ about me, Harrington."

"Well, get fucking used to it, because there's a cafeteria full of people that would do just about anything for you."

And that…that feels _so good_ . He almost _cries_ again. 

"Wait, it's Tuesday?"

"Yeah."

"The kids skipped school?"

"No, only Max." He says, "It's four thirty. They rest came when they got off." 

"Where- Max hasn't gone home right?" He needs to know she still safe. He can't help her if she's there and he's _here_. 

"No, she's staying with the Byers right now. Her mom is at the Motel 6 off the highway, but the Chief didn't trust your dad to stay away from there."

He's suprised that Susan left. She's never done that for more than a night before. Maybe she's finally gotten it into her head that her husband won't stop at Billy anymore and she'll leave him. 

It's only been three days, though so he won't hold his breath quite yet. 

Shit. It's been _three days_. 

And then he remembers something important. Something Steve had been complaining about since his parents left 

"You missed your meeting with Paul."

"You're more important than a stupid meeting with Paul." He says quietly "Besides, there was no way in hell I was leaving you, not when there was a chance he'd come back."

"Who?" He asks, though he has a feeling he already knows. 

"Your Dad came to the hospital." Steve says, anger lacing his voice. "He- we exchanged words and he tried to pull some shit with me but we're going to nail him. Max and I gave our statements to Hopper. Once he gets yours then we can put him behind bars where he belongs."

As nice as that sounds he knows how this ends. "He won't go to jail. I asked for this. "

" _What? No,_ no you _didn't_ ask for it. Don't you ever say that."

"Steve, he will tell them what I said, if he hasn't already. And he wouldn't even be _lying._ I fucking _begged_ him to hit me. I _asked_ him to give me Max's punishment. As long as he didn't go after her I didn't _care_ what he did to me. _"_

And God, Steve looks downright _horrified._

"You _really_ believe that don't you?" He asks, lips turning downward. 

Uh, yeah. He said it didn't he. 

He doesn't respond, just silently looks at him. 

Steve sighs loudly, like he can't believe how stubborn Billy is. But honestly, he should know by now. "Billy there is _a lot_ wrong with thinking that way, but I won't get into it with you right now. You're healing. Did the doctor tell you what the damage was?"

"Broken ribs and nose. Punctured lung. Internal bleeding. Mild fractured eye socket." He lists off, not letting himself feel the impact of the words themselves. 

"Yeah, and they had to perform _emergency surgery._ You didn't _ask_ to be beaten to death." He looks heated now. "If Max hadn't radioed me, we'd probably be planning your _funeral_ right now." And _fuck_ , _that_ hurts. "You didn't _ask_ for that and you sure as hell didn't _deserve it._ So, please don't say that kind of stuff again ok?"

He gives in because he can't stand seeing that look on Steve's face anymore. "Fine." 

"Billy! You're awake!" Max is standing in the doorway when he glances up and she glares at Harrington. "Steve, _what the hell_? You were supposed to come get me!"

"Calm down, Max, " he croaks, "just happened."

She walks slowly to the side of the bed and Steve backs up. "I'm-" She stops and he realizes quickly that it's because she's crying. "I'm so _sorry."_ She looks like she desperately wants to touch him, and if he wasn't in so much goddamn _pain_ he'd let her. 

_"_ Nothing to be sorry for." He says, because there isn't. What kind of brother would let his little sister get beat on? 

"If you hadn't- Billy you- " She looks frustrated. Sad. A little angry. 

"Spit it out, shitbird." 

She frowns and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Thanks for saving me _asshole_ , but don't ever do it again."

He smiles. It only hurts a little. "Can't promise that."

The rest of the brat pack pile into the room and Steve has to tell them to _be fucking quiet or I'm kicking you out._

He feels like they must have gotten used to his injuries while he was asleep because none of them, even Steve, seems uncomfortable looking at him. Though they are uncomfortable _talking_ to him. They probably don't know what to say. And that's fine. He's just happy they are here. 

Will comes up to him first and he can't help but let the nickname slip out, "What's up, Baby Byers? Stayin out of trouble?"

He just smiles softly, and _Christ_ everything about the kid is soft. "Mostly keeping _Mike_ out of trouble."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Mike asks, clearly offended. 

Dustin rolls his eyes from the corner. "That you're lucky Hopper hasn't banned you from his _house,_ obviously."

Billy feels like there is a story there but he doesn't ask. 

He _does_ ask something else, though. "Hey, where's El?" 

He remembers seeing her. Feeling her hand on his cheek, small and gentle just like that day in December. She'd told him _sorry_ and he'd felt so much _weight_ in the word. 

"Uh, she's kind of on house arrest still? But like extra tight security." Lucas provides. 

Billy is confused. "What?"

Steve takes over the explanations. "She hasn't been allowed to visit because the Chief was worried that she might… go after your dad."

"Why?" Well, he can guess _why_. He's sure most of the people in this room would like to go after him too. 

"She… I guess she's been having some kind of connection with you? She gets these _feelings_ about most of us at one point or another, but this was different I guess?" He says, like he's not quite sure himself. "Hopper told me she's been aware every time you were in physical pain, so I'm guessing whenever your dad…" He trails off but they all _know._

"But that day it was _so bad_ that she used her powers to _find_ you because she was worried. She saw most of it and nearly tore Hopper's cabin apart. She was the reason we took you to the cabin first before coming here. She thought...when we got there she thought you weren't breathing. She about lost it. I've never seen anything like it before in my life. She's a force to be reckoned with, that's for damn sure. It's probably good that she has to stay home. I don't think she would like seeing you like this."

He takes it in for a moment. The fact that the girl had apparently _felt_ his pain. It made sense. She had known _exactly_ where his injuries were that night at the Snow Ball. And Steve had said she'd _looked for him._ Probably had done it before that day considering the chief randomly asking about his home life that day at the gas station. He asked because El had been worried, might have even seen the aftermath. 

It should probably make him feel violated, but it doesn't. He can feel that she'd done it out of fear and worry, not out of ill intent or to go spy on him. 

It makes his stomach hurt a bit to know she had seen the last beating, though. Even Max hadn't been present for the worst of it. It had to have been hard to see, and that fact that she was upset enough about it to use her _powers_ like that? He can't really fathom why she cares so much. Why any of them care so much. 

He's not as horrible to them as he used to be, but he's still on the outside. He's been included because of the secret he knows, because he's Max's brother, because he's Steve's _something._ It just doesn't make sense that these little shits were so damn worried, especially a little girl that he's seen all of _twice._

"You alright?" Steve asks when he hasn't responded in awhile. 

"Yeah, just tired." Which isn't a lie. He is tired. But he's also just emotionally drained and confused. 

Steve takes that as a sign to round the little shits up and send them packing. Max promises to be back later, Dustin says he's glad Billy didn't die because Steve was starting to get _really_ whiny, Mike just nods to him which is more than he expected because the kid isn't his biggest fan by a long shot, and Will tells him that his mom will be by after work. 

Lucas is the only one that lingers when Steve shoves them all out into the hallway. 

"Got something on your mind, Sinclair?"

"When you threatened me, back then, I didn't understand. I thought you were being a racist dick and it pissed me off. I didn't know it wasn't _you._ " 

"It was kind of me. I still pushed you around and I didn't have to do that." He thought he'd already apologized for this once before? 

"You were _warning_ us. You _knew_ this was coming and we ignored you."

He'd shrug if he could. "Can't really help that you're a bunch of dumb thirteen year olds."

"I'm sorry we didn't take your warnings seriously. If we had-"

"I'm not blaming you for this, Lucas," He tells him, because the kid looks like he's in pain now. "So if you're feeling guilty or whatever, _don't."_ He doesn't want anyone to blame themselves for this mess. Billy knows whose fault it is, and it's none of _theirs._

"It doesn't matter what you say. Max and I are partially responsible for this outcome. And I- I'm not _happy_ that you're lying in that bed, but I _am_ glad that it's not Max. So, I guess I just wanted to.. I don't know, _thank_ you for protecting her from your dad."

He huffs out a breath. "No need to thank me. She's my little sister. It's my job and I would do it again."

"Yeah, bu-"

He cuts him off because he is one thousand percent done with this conversation. "You better go catch up with Max before she realizes you're gone and dumps your ass." 

"Fine. Take it easy."

"Sure," He replies, then adds, "Oh, hey, tell Harrington to get me something to eat. I'm starving." 

He is hungry, but he also needs a moment to himself. He needs to think. He needs to breathe. He needs to _understsnd_ what the feelings inside of him are. 

Lucas nods his head and slips out of the door, finally leaving him all alone with his thoughts and the sound of his heart monitor. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Steve have a heated discussion and Jim and Jane pay Neil a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠TW's⚠⚠⚠
> 
> Homophobic slurs  
> Brief mention of medical equipment

Steve was worried. 

The things Billy had said when he woke up _bothered_ him. 

It was like he couldn't fathom why any of them were visiting him or _worried_ about him. 

Then he'd gone and said he _asked_ for his dad to beat him up. Like that was a totally normal thing for him to think or say. And maybe it was. Maybe Neil had fucked Billy up in more ways than one, and God he wanted to _kill_ Neil. 

He wanted to kill him for hurting his son and for putting all of them through this. 

Seeing the aftermath of Billy's assault was hard on all the kids. They'd dealt with so much in the last year and a half. They'd lost Will, found Will, lost Barb and Bob, and fought Monsters. But seeing what a _human_ monster could do… to their own _son?_ They all had a difficult time with that. 

Especially, Will. 

Jonathan told Steve that first morning, when his mom had brought Max and Will to come see him, that the reason his mom left his dad was because he'd hit Jonathan and tried to go after Will. 

Steve really fucking hated _people_. 

And now that Billy's been awake for awhile and his emotions are more stable, they've been trying to talk him into turning his dad in to the authorities for child abuse. 

It's been harder than they thought it would be. Apparently, there'd been two cases open and shut against Neil back in California. One before Susan came into the picture and one before they up and moved. It was hard for Billy to believe that this could go differently, but Steve thinks they've made a lot of progress on that front. Last night he'd finally told Steve that he'd do it if he and Max were positive that it would work. 

Yes. It will work. 

It _has_ to. 

But it's Thursday now, and Billy is in a foul mood as soon as Steve walks in the door after going to school for the first time all week. He'd stopped by the diner on his way to grab him a burger. 

He's glaring at him, or as much of a glare as he can make with his face messed up, when Steve sits down and puts the brown paper bag on the tray.

"What's wrong?" He asks, because the air in the room is charged and it's definitely not the good kind. 

" _So_ , when were you planning on telling me my dad threatened you _and_ pressed charges against you?"

Oh, shit. "How did-"

"Does it matter?" He asks, which means it was probably Max. 

"Billy, it's fine. I'm not worried about it."

"Yeah, well I _am_. You don't- you don't _get_ it. He's got.. That means he's got you in his _sights_. If he's playing this game it's because he wants to prove something."

"He's got no real case." He pushes. "The only thing that he can _remotely_ prove is that I did a number on his tire with my bat."

"That doesn't make a difference. I know you guys want me to testify against my dad, but if we do this and shit goes sideways, we _all_ lose something. But you'll _definitely_ lose."

"Jesus, I'm not…I'm not _scared_ of your Dad, ok?" Which isn't entirely true. When he has anger in his veins and has Billy to protect, there's no fear, but there's been a few times when his eyes are closed that he remembers Neil's warnings to watch his back and shivers. 

"You fucking should be. He's an asshole and a bully of the worst kind, but he's also fucking _smart_. He'll even act stupid if he thinks it will get you to let down your gaurd. Believe me. I know. He had the cops eating out of his fucking hand in Cali."

"You didn't have Hopper on your side back th-"

"The chief is only _one man_ , Steve. Sure, it's great that he's on my side and that he doesn't fuck around when it comes to monsters and government bullshit, and taking care of business, but he can't pull enough strings in my case without hanging himself with them."

He's breathing hard and his heart monitor is beeping faster. 

At first Steve thinks it's because Billy is just angry, and taking it out on him, but then he realizes that he is _scared_ too. "You don't know-"

"I know enough. And I'm not willing to risk it. I'm not fucking around with your life here."

Now Steve is pissed off and afraid too. It's becoming a normal mix of emotions these days. "If we don't put him in jail.. He might _actually_ kill you next time, Billy." 

"And if we try and fail, he _definitely_ will and he'll probably try to take you out with me. It's not worth it."

"You're _wrong._ You're fucking wrong and you know it. He needs to pay for what he's done to you. Hopper says we may even get him for _attempted murder._ Because, _in case you have forgotten,_ it almost ended that way."

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder." He snarks back. "I had _no idea_ , what with all the _pain_ and _tubes_ and fucking catheter in my dick. I have _totally_ forgotten what happened."

What are they even doing right now? Are they really fighting over this? 

"God, you- just.. _Please, just_ think about th-"

"Drop it, Harrington! It's _not_ your decision. And really, it's none of your business now." His voice is cold and his face is closed off. He's done talking. 

"Not my-" Oh, is that how it is? " _Fuck you, man_." He spits, because he can't help it. Billy is being a stubborn fucking asshole. He takes one more hard look at the boy in the bed and he's still not backing down. 

_Fuck this,_ he thinks, and then he's grabbing his keys and heading for the door. "I'm fucking leaving. Don't forget to eat your dinner."

Once he storms down to the lobby he's cooled off a bit and he finds a phone. After two rings a man picks up. 

"Hopper? Yeah, it's Steve. We have a bit of a problem."

* * *

  
Things with the Hargrove case are messy now that Billy didn't want to cooperate. It really would be a he said she said situation. He understood why the kid thought it was a bad idea, but he'd hoped that nearly _dying_ would have pushed him in the right direction. 

And it probably _would have_ if Neil's threats hadn't been hanging over Steve's head. Billy wouldn't do anything if he thought it would go south and get Steve hurt. 

So, now Jim was out of legal options. 

"Let me help." El's quiet voice speaks next to him. 

"Kid-"

"Billy won't tell. His papa will _hurt_ him again." He can feel the tension in the air rising. It's happening a lot with her since that day. 

"I'm trying to figure out a way that that won't happen."

" _Let me help_." 

Oh, hell. Maybe. No, he's nuts for even considering- No. 

"Jane-"

"I won't kill him. Scare him only." She smiles and if he didn't know her he'd be a little frightened by the sharpness of it. 

Scaring him? It could work. Short term. But that's all they need. Billy turns eighteen in August. 

"If we do this, then you do what I say. No going off the rails."

Her brows pinch in confusion. "Going off the rails?"

He sighs. "It's when you are supposed to stick to a plan but then do whatever you want instead."

"Oh, ok. No going off the rails." She promises. 

Alright. Fuck it. 

He can't believe he's about to do this. But he's also kind of glad that he's going to get his hands on Neil Hargrove. 

"Alright, Here's what we're going to do."

* * *

Neil is a man of habit. It's the first thing Jim notices when he has his deputies keep an eye on him. 

There's only a few places he goes during the week. Work. The 7/11. The liquor store. Home. 

It's easy to corner him on his way home from the good old Lucky's Liquor. 

Jim stalks right up to him while he's putting a case of beer in the passenger side of the truck and grabs him by the scruff of the neck before slamming him face first into the door. 

"What the _fuck?!"_ He growls underneath him. "Who do you think you are?"

"The Chief-of-fucking-Police."

He can hear the laugh starting in the man's throat. It's the same one he's heard come from Billy and it pisses Jim off more. It's undeniable proof that this man is his father.

"Am I under arrest, _Officer_?"

"No." He smiles mean, even though the bastard can't see him. "But we're going to have ourselves a little _chat_ anyway."

He cuffs him and drags him to the Blazer, kicking and protesting all the way, before shoving him inside. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't do this. I know my rights."

"Yeah? Then maybe you should exercise your right to shut the fuck up."

He grumbles at that. "What's this about, anyway? You can't possibly be risking your career over my faggot of a son."

Jim bristles at that. "First of all, I'm not risking _shit_ , and second, I'm only doing this because that boy _refuses_ to turn you in, despite all the bullshit you put him through." 

"Why do you even _care_ , _Jim_ ?" He says his name like an insult. "He's _my_ son, not yours. It's my business how I discipline him. It's well within my rights and the law is on my side with this."

"Yeah, well sometimes the law is _wrong_ , or the people working for it are."

"What are you planning on doing? Take me out to the woods and kill me? How very sheriff of you."

"Nope, like I said, we're going to have a little _chat."_

He mouths off for a while but then he goes silent, glaring at Jim when he meets his eyes in the rear view. There is a cold fury seeping out of him and he understands exactly why Billy doesn't want to go against him. 

When they get to the clearing he and El talked about, he yanks the back door open and pulls Neil out.

"I'll have your fucking _job!"_ He threatens while Jim unclasps the handcuffs. 

_"_ Empty threats. I'm an elected official and upstanding citizen. You're new to this town and have two beat up kids at home. Who do you think the people will believe?"

"Fuck you!" Neal pulls back to swing now that his hands are free, but his whole body locks in place. 

El walks into the clearing, hands raised and nose trickling blood. "You are a _bad_ man." She says, voice trembling, but it isn't trembling from fear, it's from holding back her power. 

"What the _hell?!_ Who are you? _What_ are you?!"

"You are a _bad_ _papa. You hurt Billy and Max."_

She moves her hand and he goes flying into a tree. He stumbles up, trying to get his footing,"What the fuck is this?!What are you doing?! Who are you?!" She shoves him against the tree and keeps him there, wide open for Jim. 

"I _saw what you did to him."_ She says and Neil looks confused and then slightly worried. 

"What the fuck?! _How the hell are you doing this?"_

He sounds scared. Panicked. 

_Good._

"It's a real awful feeling being unable to fight back, isn't it?" Jim says, walking up to him before getting in a good uppercut to the gut. 

Neil groans in pain but still can't move for El's hold on him. 

"Did it feel good when you had him up against a wall?" He asks, and punches him in the face. His nose cracks under the impact. "Did you feel powerful when you could make him stand completely still with just a word? Frozen in place and afraid to breathe or look at you?" Another blow to the stomach. "Did you eat up his fear and the sounds he made when it _hurt_ to much to keep his voice quiet?" He knees him in the groin and eats up the sound _Neil_ makes. "Did you fucking feel _proud_ of your handiwork in the morning?" Another blow. "Did you get off on leaving proof of his discipline for the whole world to see?"

And yeah, maybe Jim is _projecting_ a little here, but he _knows_ how Billy feels. 

"Nothing to say?" He asks, voice furious. "Couldn't _get_ you to shut up in the cruiser."

"Fuck you." The man spits blood on his face and Jim just smiles. 

Then hits him again. 

Neil is bleeding, bruising, and sputtering by the time he is done. 

"You're a piece of shit Hargrove. And you're lucky I'm the one laying into you." He nods to El. "If I left it up to her, you'd be _dead_."

Neil looks like he believes it. 

"Let him go."

El releases her hold and he crashes to the ground. 

Jim picks him back up by his flannel shirt. "Now, here's what's going to happen. You're not going to touch a single hair on that kids head again. You're not going to _look_ at him. You're not going to _speak_ to him. You hear his car, you walk the other way. He's not coming back to that house. I have other living arrangements for him and Susan and Max."

"Can't keep me from my wife."

"No, I can't. If she still wants to see you that's her business, but you won't be seeing her at her new place of residence."

"Awfully demanding aren't you? Just commandeering my whole family?"

" _You don't deserve a family."_

He gets a cold glare. "And what happens if I ignore your little demands? You going to do this again?"

He nods to El and she pulls up a log and snaps it in half right in front of them. 

Neal has gone pale underneath the smears of blood. 

"So, do we have a deal?" He asks, letting him go. 

He picks himself up off the ground. "Yes. Fine. You have a deal. I won't touch the little queer again. You're saving me the hassle of dealing with him anyways."

Jim almost punches him again. 

"And if I catch you sniffing around Harrington either, you're dead."

He laughs at that and it makes Jim clench his fist. "Gotta protect his little fag boyfriend as well, huh? Aren't you a little _too_ invested in this, Chief?" Jim's stomach flips as he continues. "Did they promise you a good time if you roughed me up?" He shakes his head and laughs darkly. There is something really wrong with this man. "Though it wouldn't surprise me if that was the case. Should of known the little cock sucker would end up a whore like his mom."

Jim takes a step forward because he's tired of listening to the bastard and his fucking fixation on his son being queer, but the laughter cuts off abruptly before he gets to him. He is clawing at his throat and his eyes are wide and bulging. 

El is walking up to him, glaring. "Stop saying bad things! Billy is good. He is not _that._ You are hateful and…. _twisted._ "

Jim wonders where she learned that word. Probably _Max_. 

"Let… go," he chokes. 

"You are a _monster_ ." She says and forces his body to the ground. The way she is moving, fierce and deliberate, isn't the way she normally moves. "You won't hurt _Billy._ " She hisses and steps on his chest with her foot. It's weird to see her being physical. "You won't hurt _Max_." She digs her heel in, making him squirm. "You won't hurt _Steve_." She makes him gasp as she rears back and kicks him. Hard. She leans down, getting close to his face as she promises, "because if you _do,_ I will _hurt_ you. Like _you_ hurt _him_."

And then Jim _realizes_ , she is mimicking what she'd seen Neil do to Billy. 

It makes his heart sore. "Ok. That's enough." He tells her, stern but quiet. "He understands we aren't messing around. Let's go, kid." 

She releases him and walks straight past Jim to climb into the passenger seat. 

Neil sits up and rubs his throat and his side where she'd kicked him. 

"Hope we never have to do this again." Jim tells him before heading to the Blazer himself. 

"Hey. You can't just leave me here!" Neil calls after him 

"I'm the caretaker of this town. I can do whatever the fuck I want." He says, and then slams his door shut. "Have a nice walk!" He calls out the window and watches Neal Hargrove's angry face get smaller and smaller in the side mirror. 

He's quiet on the way back to the cabin, smoking his cigarette and trying to calm the anger still churning in his gut. 

"You ok?" El asks after a few moments of him huffing. 

He takes a drag and blows the smoke out of his nose. "No, but I will be." He glances at her and she looks sad. " _You,_ ok?"

"I don't understand some things he said. He called Steve and Billy names. I could tell it was _mean._ He said it to _hurt_. I just don't know what he meant."

Fuck Neil Hargrove. 

"Maybe we should have this discussion when you're a little older."

" _Jim._ " 

"El...fine. Ok. He used some... _bad_ words to describe Billy and Steve because he doesn't like that they like each other."

"Why?"

"Remember when I said we had to keep it secret that you saw them kiss? It's because some people… _A lot_ of people, hate when two boys or two girls like each other. They think it's wrong and bad."

"Liking someone is never bad."

"You're right. But some people don't understand it, so they are afraid of it. And some of those people are like _Neil_ . And they will _hurt_ others for it."

"Billy's papa hurt him because he likes boys?" She sounds confused like that is so absurd. 

Jim still can't believe how innocent she still is to the ways of the world. "I think that was a big reason why, yes."

She sniffles. "That is wrong."

"I know." He agrees. 

"It's not fair."

"I know."

She doesn't ask about the last things Neil insinuated and he's beyond thankful, but she _does_ look at him and he can feel the determination behind the stare. "I want to see Billy." 

He sighs. Well, the reason he'd kept her away from him is ten minutes behind them now. "Alright, kid. I'll take you to see him."

She smiles but he can tell that after that encounter, she's only _halfway happy_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I think that is just about it for the triggery stuff. 
> 
> And there will probably be a time skip soon. We gotta slide into s3, don't we?


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy gets a visit from Hopper and El

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> Not my most favorite chapter but it's alright. He needed to know what is going on and I wanted him and El to have a little talk 😊
> 
> TW's  
> A few homophobic slurs

The fact is, Billy is a fucking _asshole_. 

And he regrets that fact the moment Steve storms out of his hospital room. 

It's not that he regrets his _decision_ , because he _doesn't_ , but he regrets that he'd told Steve it wasn't his business. It _is_ his business, because he's involved now. He's involved because Billy fucking _kissed_ him, because he _wanted_ him, because he thought for five seconds that they could maybe be some kind of _happy._ He's involved because he carried his bloodied body across his fucking yard. He's in it _deep_ now, and that's the whole problem. 

He'd thrown himself in the line of fire. He'd stood between Neil and his revenge on his faggot son. He stood his ground, _threatened him_ , and refused to back down even when he'd shown up at the hospital. He'd refused to let him get close to Billy, and in doing so, Steve had painted a huge target on his back. 

Maybe even a bigger one than _Billy_ wore, and he didn't even _care._

It's like it doesn't even phase him, but it _should._ It really should because he's seen the damage Neil can cause. _Billy_ is the damage. Steve should be terrified that Neil could put him in the bed right beside Billy. But he's _not_. He's all _fire_ now. 

He's become nothing _but_ that fire that attracts Billy to him, that determined attitude that he likes so much. It's turned into something dangerous, though. It's become a handicap. A way to indirectly hurt Billy. 

And a part of him is so angry about that. Angry about it all. 

He's angry at his father for always _hurting_ him, for _hating him,_ for going after Max and putting his hands on her, for trying to _kill him._ He's angry at _himself_ for being so damn weak and unable to stand up to the man, even though he _knows_ he has enough physical strength to maybe stand a chance now. And, _fuck_ , he is angry at _Steve_ for not understanding that he's _just trying to protect him_. 

Another part of him is afraid. So afraid that he's going to leave this hospital on Saturday and go back to that _house._ He's afraid that his dad may finish what he started. He's afraid that he _won't_ and that he'll go after Steve instead. That he will do it to punish Billy and he will be helpless, and unable to protect him since he's still fucking _healing_. 

And then the rest of him feels so unbelievably embarrassed by this whole situation. Everyone knows one of his biggest secrets now. That his dad doesn't love him. That he despises him. That he _hits him._ He's laid up in this bed, his face is wrecked, his body is _broken_ , and he's been crying off and on like a little _bitch_ since he woke up. 

He can hear his father's voice telling him what a _pussy_ he is. That now everyone can see it. That no one will ever respect him. 

He doesn't want to listen to that voice, but he's been listening to it for ten years. It's hard to dismiss it. 

Besides, it's not _wrong._ The kids _have_ seen him at his lowest now. At one point they all feared him, but what's to fear now? Billy is _nothing._

And he doesn't really _want_ them to be scared of him. It makes him sick thinking about their faces when he'd stormed into the Byers house all those months ago, but the fact that he's been knocked down so fucking low, low enough that even _Will_ could take him in a fight, _stings_.

He hates all the eyes on him, and not just the brats, but the hospital staff and Mrs Byers and even fucking _Susan_ . The pity he sees in them makes him want to lash out. He doesn't need it. He doesn't _want_ it. He just needs to heal and move on with his life. Forget this ever happened. 

But even if he does that, _they'll_ all still remember this. They'll remember the broken boy in the hospital bed, not strong enough to even take a piss by himself. They'll remember how weak he is. They'll never see him the same way ever again. 

His eyes sting and he blinks back the tears, because he is so fucking sick if crying. He hates himself for it. Hates that he has no control over anything right now. 

_Fuck._

He hears the door open and immediately calls out, "Steve?" Because even though he's mad at him, he still hopes it's his stupid face coming to see him. 

But the silhouette in the doorway is much too small. "No. It's me."

He sits up slowly as the girl and Hopper come to his bedside. 

"Thought you were on house arrest?"

She frowns. "House arrest?"

Hopper looks weary. "Never mind about that." He tells her, then addresses Billy. "We need to talk, kid."

Just like that, he's angry again. "Look. I fuc-" He pauses because El is standing right here. " _freaking_ told Steve I'm not doing it. You can't change my mind."

"You don't have to tell on your papa." El says. 

And that throws him off. "What?" 

"We talked to your Papa. He won't hurt you anymore."

Wait? They talked to Neil? 

" _What_?" He repeats because he _doesn't understand._

The chief puts a hand on El's shoulder. She looks so tiny in comparison. "Let me tell him, kid. Then you can talk to him, ok?"

"Ok." She replies and goes to sit by the window. 

"What's going on?" 

"Steve called me."

"I _knew it."_

"Don't get mad at Steve. He is just worried about you."

"Yeah, well be needs to be more worried about _himself._ "

He shakes his head. "That really doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we had to act quickly and take things into our own hands."

Billy blinks and then looks at El. He _knows_ she's killed people before. The thought makes his blood run cold. Even though he hated the bastard, he doesn't know if he really wants him…."Is he-" He can't even _say_ it. 

Hopper seems to understand what he's trying to ask. "Shit. No, kid. As much as I may have _wanted_ to, no. We just gave him a bit of an _ultimatum_." Billy wants to know more, but then again he really doesn't. "He's made a deal with me. He won't be coming in contact with you or your sister from now on. He's also promised to stay away from Steve. If he doesn't, I'll let Jane deal with him."

That doesn't make sense. "Isn't she supposed to be a _secret_? What if my dad _tells someone?"_ The thought of his dad doing something to out the girl to the government makes him nauseous. 

"Don't worry. I've got more than officer eyes on him to make sure he doesn't get any bright ideas, but I'm sure he figures no one would believe him." He says and Billy makes a face to show his obvious disapproval. "Look, we had to do _something_ , Billy. Your old man was out for more blood. I could see it on him. Some shit he was saying...This was the only way to keep you safe."

He knows the kind of shit his dad says, so he can imagine. "Yeah, still not sure I'm worth the risk."

The Chief looks… sad at that. "I know you don't think you're worth the trouble we're all going through, but you are."

He scoffs. "You sound like Harrington."

"Yeah, well sometimes even _that_ kid is right."

"Not often."

The chief ignores his comment and continues. "Anyhow, the Doctors tell me that you're set to be released on Saturday. They've agreed to let me sign you into my care."

"I'm going to _your house?"_ Color him fucking surprised. 

"Just until I get things settled with your step mother."

" _Susan_? What do you mean?"

"Max and I spoke to her about what happened. She knows Neil hurt Max and that you got between them. I told her if she didn't separate from him, there'd potentially be a situation where she'd be removed from her care. I'd rather not throw her into the foster care system because it's kind of a shit show, so, she agreed to leave him. I have a mobile home on the other side of town. Told her she can rent it from me for cheap." 

He's still a little confused. "Ok? So her and Max are going to live there?"

"And you. Once you've healed up." 

"That can't be right. Why would Susan let _me_ live with her? I'm not her kid. And what if my Dad comes around?"

"First, I know there may be some animosity between you and her because she stood by and let your father hurt you, but she wants you to stay with them, and it may be the best option at this time." He tells him. "And second, it was part of the deal that he stay away from that property. He shows up, he'll pay."

Well, anything is better than living with Neil, he supposes. "Ok. That's… thank you. For doing that."

"We gotta stick together, kid. That's the only way we get through this shit." 

"Yeah." 

"And on that note, you should probably talk to Harrington."

Oh, no. He's already been fighting with himself about Steve. Now he has to hear it from the _Chief_ too? "I'm still pissed at him."

"It may not be my business, but if I were you, I'd put that anger away."

"I don't want to." He replies, like a petulant child. 

"Listen, that boy _cares_ about you more than-"

He cuts him off, worried about where this conversation is going. "Harrington is a do gooder now. I'm his _friend_ , of course he cares about me. He cares about _everyone_."

"You're right. He's a good kid and would do anything for his friends," He agrees, "but it's different with you. You didn't see him when he brought you to us. He was out of his _damn_ mind. Angry and worried and jumpy as hell. I almost had to pull him off your old man that first night, thought he was going to strangle him right there in the waiting room. And then he refused to leave. Told the doctors that they could screw themselves because he wasn't leaving your side until he knew you were ok. He told them it was because he didn't want your father to slip through security, but I wasn't born yesterday." He levels him with a knowing look. "The way he looks at you, there's more than friendship going on here." 

Billy swallows down panic. He was _right_. He _knows._ He knows about him and Harrington. He knows what he _is._ _"_ I don't… I don't know what you are talking about." He deflects quickly, hoping he can convince him he's _wrong_ because he's suddenly _terrified._

"I know you're scared," He says, "but don't worry, kid. Your secret is safe with us."

That actually doesn't do much to comfort him. If the chief knows, how many other people do? Do the kids know? Do their _parents_ know? How long before the whole town knows? 

The girl nods from her spot by the window. "It's ok. Your papa is wrong. It's ok to like boys." 

His eyes widen. Jesus, how much does _this_ little girl know? 

Hopper sighs and looks a little mortified. " _Jane,_ what did we _just_ talk about on the way up here?" 

"That I should think more before I talk?" She asks slowly. 

"Yeah, you need to work on that."

She nods. "Sorry."

Hopper looks back at him. "I know you're used to being degraded and hurt because of what you are, but I want you to know that I'm not going to do that to you." 

Again there is a stinging behind his eyes and he feels like he can't quite breathe. 

"I may not understand it, because I don't have those feelings, but it's not my place to judge. Love is out of our control. And I won't say anything to anyone because it's not my place, but you don't have to pretend that you don't like him like that. Not with us."

They are quiet for awhile, just staring in silence. Billy doesn't know what to say. All the cops in the past, as soon as they found out that he was a _queer,_ didn't give a rats ass what his dad did to him. The neighbors stopped worrying about the sixteen year old boy with the earring and bruises to match his attitude. They ignored the yelling and the slammed doors in his face. Because he deserved it. 

He's so used to being looked down on once _regular_ people find out. He's not used to anyone being _understanding._

He wonders if his mom would have been understanding. He thinks she would have. 

"Thanks, Chief. " He finally says, because it does feel nice to have an adult know and not want to immediately pummel him for it. 

He just nods once and tilts his head to the girl. "I promised the kid that she could talk to you, so I'll be at the nurses station getting coffee. Don't go anywhere."

"I won't." She says and watches him leave before coming to carefully hop up on the bed next to Billy. 

He's uncomfortable with the proximity but doesn't want to tell her to move. She looks like she's been buzzing with energy and he knows she's been wanting to visit him since he got here. So he lets her sit close. 

She looks up at him and her eyes are _seeing_ through him again. He always feels the most vulnerable under her gaze. Her fingertips graze just below his good eye. "I was scared." She says after a moment, finger tracing the bruises gently, almost as if she was trying to zap the pain from him. "I could see it. I saw him _hurt_ you." Her face scrunches up with more than one emotion. "I couldn't get to you. I thought you were _dying_."

Her voice is so _sad_ and _kind_ and it makes Billy's throat tight. "I'm sorry you saw what he did. I'm sorry I scared you."

"Not your fault." She says, taking his hand. "Never your fault. He is a bad papa."

"Yeah. I guess he is."

"I won't let him hurt you anymore." She tells him, and he can tell she means it. Just like he knows Steve meant it. 

"I know. I know you won't. Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Um- El or _Jane- uh_ I don't exactly know what to _call_ you?"

"My mother named me Jane, my _Papa_ called me Eleven, but Mike named me El. You can call me what you want."

He'd never call her Eleven. Never call her by the tattoo he knows is inked on her skin. 

"Jane," He says, but it still feels odd, so does _El._ " _Janie_ ," He amends, and thinks it fits her face better. "Harrington said you knew what happened because you could feel it. Why could you feel me?" He's been so curious since Steve told him. "Why did you know when he… when he was hurting me?" God, it's still so fucking hard to say it out loud. What his father has done. 

She looks thoughtful. "I don't know. I get feelings of… _bad_ ...of _danger_ . Sometimes Mike or Jim. It was like that. I think I saw it that night first." He figures she's talking about the night she closed the gate. "When we were leaving you looked _scared_. I felt it when you passed me. It felt the _same._ The same as _me_ when I was with _Papa._ I think I was always waiting to feel it again. That _same hurt."_

His chest aches to see some awful memory flash behind her dark eyes. "Your..Papa..he's the one that hurt you?"

"Yes. He was a bad man. Made me bad. Made me do things. Made me a monster."

If Billy could move, he probably would have tried to storm out and hunt the bastard down, even though he's been told he's already dead. "You're not bad, ok? And you're not a monster. Bad people don't try to save other people." 

"You're not bad either." She replies, like she knows he feels like his is, like he is the worst. "You saved Max."

She'd flipped his logic around on him. Smart kid. "Fine. You got me. _I'm a saint_." He quips with a crooked smile. 

"What is Saint?" 

Oh yeah. She doesn't understand a lot still. "Um…do you understand religion?"

"No." 

"Then, it's kind of hard to explain. They are… just incredibly good people recognized by their kindness and closeness to godliness. It's uh-" She still looks just as confused. "They're just really good people."

He feels kind of bad for the Chief. They must have a lot of fun conversations. 

"Ok. I halfway understand." 

He doesn't really know what else to say. He wants to ask her questions. Like what happened to her or what she did to his dad, but he doesn't know how to bring it up. "So, you don't mind me crashing at your house?" He asks instead. 

Her brow furrows. "Why would you crash it?"

_Oh my god._

"No, it's a _saying._ It means, you don't mind sharing your space with me?"

She smiles and it makes her face seem even younger. "I want you to stay. Want to help you. Jim says you will need help."

"Yeah, I'll probably need help." He admits sadly. "You sure you're up for that, though? I'm kind of an as- um- I'm a jerk."

"It's ok. Jim can be jerk sometimes too. I still like him and help him with dishes and cleaning."

He chuckles at that because it's so beyond weird to imagine the Chief being all domestic with this girl. "I'm sure he appreciates it." 

She just smiles more. "Billy."

"Yeah, Janie?"

"I'm really glad you didn't die."

He blinks, not expecting that but finds himself smiling back at her. She makes him feel _better_ somehow. "Yeah, me too, kid. Me too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next one should have more Steve and may contain a time skip.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve talks to Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> I know it's a bit of a shorter chapter but it felt like a good place to end. 
> 
> There will be time skips next chapter. 😁
> 
> Also! Wanted to just say that I didn't come up with Janie as a nickname. Saw it on a drabble on Tumblr weeks ago and thought it was the perfect fit for El when it comes to what Billy would call her if they were close. (Just wanted to make sure I said something it in case someone came after me for a nickname lol)

Steve was leaning against the concrete pillar of the building smoking a cigarette when Hopper and El came out of the automatic doors. 

He hadn't left the Hospital premise since storming out of Billy's room earlier. He hadn't been able to bring himself to. No matter how mad he was at Billy, he didn't want to venture far from him, because he'd never forgive himself if something happened while he was cooling off at home. 

Not that he thought Neil would show up. He was pretty sure Hopper was somehow taking care of that problem. His theory was proven right when he saw the Chief's cruiser pull into the parking lot an hour ago, when he'd moved his moping from the cafeteria to his car, and El hopped out. There was only one way Hopper would be letting her come here. If they'd already dealt with the bastard. 

The dark haired girl immediately zones in on him when she exits the hospital and nudges the Chief. They both meander over and Hopper takes out his own smoke and settles in next to Steve. 

"Harrington."

"So, how did it go, Chief? With Neil?" Steve asks, voice low. 

Hopper lets out a cloud of smoke. "He won't be a problem for Billy, or for you. At least for the foreseeable future."

El smiles. It's almost _mean. "_ He knows what I can do to him. Gave him taste of medicine."

 _Damn._ Steve feels so much fucking satisfaction at that statment. " _Good_." 

"Are you going to go talk to Billy now?" She asks him.

He sighs and shakes his head. "I don't think he wants to talk to me right now."

The Chief rolls his eyes. "Christ, all you damn kids are giving me grey hair. Just go talk to him. He's cooled off a bit since talking to Jane."

Steve frowns. "Well, maybe _I_ still need time to cool off."

"He's coming to crash our house on Saturday." El says, completely ignoring the way Steve and Hopper are glaring at each other over her head. 

Steve shifts his focus from the burly man and his eyes land on her face. "He's staying with you, huh?" He lets out a trail of smoke and flicks his cigarette butt to the cement. 

"Yeah. Jim says it's..." She scrunches her nose while she thinks of a word. "Temporary."

Hopper takes another drag. "Max really wants him to stay with her and Susan, but I want to keep an eye on him until his injuries heal up a bit."

"Yeah, I figured Max wouldn't want to be separated from him for long." Steve replies. He's spent a lot of time talking to her the last few days. He's learned a lot. More than he really _needs_ to know. She's feeling guilty as hell and he's pretty sure Billy is going to have to beat her away with a stick if he's going to get any kind of privacy with her around. 

"That girl is something else." Hopper says. "But I guess we should just get used to all these kids being stubborn little shits huh?"

"We probably should." Steve laughs and El smiles. "Do you need any help getting him settled in?" 

"Yeah, we probably will. I'm getting ready to head to his house to pick up some stuff after this. Neil is probably still trampling through the woods so it would be the best time to do it. I wouldn't put it past the bastard to go home and destroy all his kids stuff just to send him a final _screw you._ " 

El frowns at the same time Steve does. Neil would definitely be that kind of dickhead. "Want me to come? I can fit a lot of stuff in the Beamer."

 _"Nope._ I think Jane and I can handle it." He answers, and then raises his camel cigarette to point to the third floor of the hospital. " _You_ should get your scrawny ass back in that hospital and talk to that boy of yours."

Steve fights back a mean retort. Even though he's on good terms with Hopper, it doesn't mean he should be a smart ass. He's still a cop after all. 

"He needs you." El tells him, a serious look in her dark eyes. "Won't say it. But he does."

It's not like he's unaware of the things Billy won't say. He knows the guy is repressed and unable to believe he deserves anything nice in his life, the shit that he's been spewing out of his mouth lately is proof enough of that. It frustrates him as much as it upsets him. " _Fine_." He gives up. "I'll go talk to him. You guys happy now?" 

She smiles. "Happy."

Hopper snuffs out his cigarette and waves him off. "See ya Saturday, Harrington."

"Whatever." He mutters back, and shoves his hands in his jacket pockets before heading back inside, defeated. By a thirteen year old girl and her middle aged cop father. 

What is his life becoming? 

He nods to the nurses as he passes the nurses station. He's gotten to know a few of them over the last couple days.

Tonight it's Kathy, Reba and Judy. 

Kathy is probably his mom's age. She's tall, blonde, and bossy, and _always_ gets onto Steve for sneaking into Billy's room when he's not supposed to. He also thinks she may be a little suspicious of Steve's relationship with her patient, but she never says anything to him. 

Reba just graduated nursing school and is eager to prove that she knows her shit. She also flirts with Steve every chance she gets. He doesn't have the heart to tell her she is barking up the wrong tree. 

Judy is a lady in her late fifties, the sweet grandmotherly type. She slips him extra pudding cups when they bring Billy his lunch and pinches his cheek when he sweet talks her. She is definitely his favorite. 

Kathy calls to him as he walks by. "Your _friend_ is in a _mood_. I'd be careful if I were you."

He kind of chuckles at that. "Yeah, I know. I'm the one that put him in it." He takes a deep breath and pulls the door open. 

Billy is staring at the ceiling when he comes in. " Already _told you,_ Kathy. I don't want anything to eat."

" _Not_ Kathy, but I'll make sure to let her know your objections." 

The blond shifts in the bed. "Didn't think I'd see you again today."

Steve shrugs. "Didn't think you'd want to see me."

"I didn't." 

A part of Steve wants to turn right back around and go sit in his car and scream. But that would just be giving Billy what he wants. He wants to push Steve away. 

He's not going to let him. 

"Well, I guess it's a good thing you can't kick my ass right now then, huh?"

He can tell that Billy wants to roll his eyes. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

Billy licks his lips. "Then ...talk."

God, if he wasn't already twenty shades of bruised, Steve would want to punch him. He just knows exactly how to use his voice and words to get under Steve's skin. 

He drags a chair close to the bed and sits down, leaning one elbow on the white sheets next to Billy's hip. 

"I'm not sorry." Steve says after awhile of them still not speaking. Which is such a _stupid_ thing to say if he wants to make up with him, but it's _true. "_ I'm not sorry I pushed you to turn him in and I'm not sorry that I told Hopper to take care of it. Your dad needed to pay."

"Yeah, well I'm not fucking sorry either." Billy replies, but there is no real heat behind his words. "I know my dad. I know what he's capable of. I wanted to protect you."

He nods. "I get that." He does. He understands why Billy feels the way he does. But it still makes him angry. "But you gotta realize that you're not in this on your own anymore. You don't have to protect me, Billy. Because we have a group of people that have our backs when shit goes South. I know you're not used to that. That you've been like a _lone wolf_ or whatever, but it's not like that anymore."

"Guess, I still feel like this is a dream." He admits. "Like I'm going to wake up and be alone again. Like it will go back to how it was before when I was just an asshole and none of you cared." He looks past Steve, like he can't stand to keep eye contact. "I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and have to walk back into that house and grit my teeth and take more beatings."

Steve's heart clenches. "This isn't a dream, Billy. You're _not_ going back to that house, ok? Not happening. No way. Over my dead body."

Billy squints his eye which his version of frowning right now. "Don't say that, Steve. Seriously. He _really_ wants to fucking hurt you, you _do_ know that right?" 

Steve sighs. "Yeah, I kinda got that with all the lovely profanities and threats of violence."

He looks hurt by that. "What- um- what exactly did he say to you?"

"I'm not gonna repeat it. At least not right now. It will only piss us both off again." He says and links their fingers together. His hands are some of the only parts of him that are unscathed so Steve doesn't have to be careful with how hard he squeezes. "And I'm _tired_ of being angry, man." He sighs. "I've been on an emotional rollercoaster since Saturday."

Billy squeezes back. "Me too."

"So, can we just…stop arguing?"

"Sure. It's not like I _enjoy_ arguing with you."

Steve raises an eyebrow because that's a bold faced lie. 

" _Ok_. I don't enjoy arguing with you in _this_ capacity. It's fun to ruffle your feathers otherwise." His lip quirks and Steve suddenly has the intense urge to kiss him. 

Really, he's wanted to kiss him since he woke up, but any touch meant pain for Billy. It will mean pain for him for awhile. 

He unlocks their fingers and rubs a thumb along the back side of his hand for a minute instead. And then brings Billy's hand to his mouth. 

"Now that's unfair, Harrington." He mutters as Steve gently kisses it. "Can't even reciprocate."

"Don't have to." He replies, kissing each of his knuckles. "Wanted to kiss you since Saturday too." He moves to kiss his fingertips. 

Steve can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, "Might give a guy the wrong idea." 

He lifts his eyes to stare at him as he turns his hand over and places a soft kiss to his palm. "Or the right one." 

He makes a strangled sound. "You're lucky I'm stuck in this fucking bed." 

"Won't always be stuck in here." He shrugs, "Maybe that's why I'm doing it. Gotta be gentle while I can."

"Yeah, you can act like you want it all gentle, but I was in those woods too. I know better."

Steve just chuckles and rests his face against Billy's hand. "Ok, yeah. But that was only _one_ version of Steve Harrington. I'll have you know I'm a multifaceted guy, Hargrove." Billy laughs at that and winces a bit, making Steve wince too. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's no biggie." He replies, slowly moving into a more comfortable position. "God, I can't wait to get out of here."

"Heard you're staying with Hopper for awhile?"

He nods. "Yeah, until I recover a bit. He insisted. Well-." He pauses, "actually it was probably Janie that insisted."

" _Janie_?" 

"Yeah, Jane sounds too weird, like an old lady or something." 

"Alright." He guesses they have some kind of connection, so Billy can call her whatever he wants. 

"We talked for awhile. She…she's gone through some rough shit hasn't she?" He asks. 

"Yeah. From what I've heard she has."

Billy nods. "She's still a good kid, though."

"Yeah." He thinks of her nearly tearing apart the house for Billy. "She really is."

Billy sounds tired when he settles back down into the bed. "You gonna stay awhile?"

"I will if you want me to."

He grips Steve's hand tighter and whispers, " _Stay_." 

Steve smiles, knows it's probably really hard for Billy to be vulnerable and to ask him to do this, so he kisses his hand again and maneuvers the chair so he can lean back in the chair, prop his legs on the bed and hold his hand at the same time. "I won't go anywhere."

Billy doesn't say anything else, just nods and closes his eyes while Steve watches M*A*S*H on the tiny TV. 

He stays long after Billy falls asleep and would have stayed longer but the night nurse kicks him out around eleven. He ends up sleeping in the back seat of his car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed Steve being a soft boi.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy has an interesting stay with the Hopper's. 
> 
> And he finally gets Steve alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> So, about this chapter and the last one. 
> 
> There's been some (maybe uncharacteristic) fluff going on, and this chapter does have 1k smut at the end, but I did it because it's getting close to the start of s3. 
> 
> Angst is going to be happening y'all. Flayed!Billy is gonna rip out your soul ok?? 
> 
> So, I wanted these boys to have a couple chapters of happiness and sexy times before shit hits the fan. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, even if you're not a fan of smut or think it's a bit out of place at this point in the fic.

Staying with the Chief while he healed consisted mostly of bad Dad jokes, uncomfortable conversations, and way too much time on his hands. 

The first week was _rough._ He'd been slow moving and he could forget all about bending over or _lifting_ much of anything. He'd had to rely on Janie for mostly everything that he was unable to do himself. She was eager to help, though. She'd said it was nice having someone around and helping him made her feel good. So he'd tried not to bitch too much about it. 

The Chief mostly stayed out of the house, working at the station and keeping tabs on Billy's old man. When he _was_ home he'd make small talk, the aforementioned dad jokes, and watched TV with them. As accommodating as he was trying to be, Billy never wanted to ask him for help. It still felt too fucking weird. 

Well, there _was_ the one embarrassing Wednesday night when he'd slipped in the shower and hurt himself, but he told the girl if she came in he'd never forgive her and to go get the Chief. That had been awkward as fuck for both men but it had been a _way_ better senerio than a thirteen year old girl seeing his junk and possibly scarring her for life. 

Hanging out with Janie was nice, though, when he wasn't relying on her. She was quiet but thoughtful. She asked him a lot of questions, and even though some of them led to some not so fun conversations, he liked explaining things to her. She was eager to learn and had an innocent outlook on life despite all the horror she'd witnessed and caused. It made Billy want to protect her. Even though he knew she'd be the one doing the most protecting. 

He'd been appalled at the county music the Chief had been subjecting her to. So he'd gone through a few boxes of his things in the living room and let her listen to his more _kid appropriate_ music and told her that he was taking her to the damn mall when he was well enough. The girl did _not_ need to be walking around like a miniature Hopper lumberjack. It was just _sad._

Then, one night she'd asked to touch his hair. He hadn't bothered putting any product in it since the day he'd gotten his ass beat, so it was more soft and fluffy than his usual curly mullet. He normally didn't like people messing with it, but he let her. She was gentle as she ran her fingers through it and smiled brightly at him. Told him it was _pretty._

It made him feel some kind of way. It had been a long time since anyone besides Harrington had touched him with hands that didn't _hurt_ or _want_ something from him. It felt like it had when his mom had pet his hair before bed while she read him a story. He almost fucking cried but stopped himself. He didn't want Janie to think she hurt him, because she hadn't. She just made him remember what it was like to be cared for. 

It kind of fucked him up for awhile when he realized how messed up his relationship with his dad was. It was so bad that it literally made him suspicious or _upset_ when other people showed him kindness or _love._

His dad had fuckin _ruined_ _him_. 

That's why it was hard to let Steve touch him outside of the hospital. He felt _exposed_. As much as he liked feeling Steve's hands on his skin, he was also scared of them, afraid someone would see the longing in his eyes and just _know._ But despite that uncomfortable fear, he still let Steve help him, let him throw one of Billy's arms around his shoulder as they hobbled into the cabin. 

He let him fuss over him and sit next to him, but he'd finally had to kick Steve out after the second night. The hovering had annoyed him and honestly Steve needed some goddamn _sleep_. He'd been so worried about Billy that he'd become a fucking zombie by Monday afternoon. He made Byers take him home and keep him there until the bastard got at least a good ten hours of uninterrupted sleep. 

The kids had come over nearly every night that first week too. Max and Will to see _him_ , Wheeler Jr to see Janie, Dustin to see Steve, and Lucas to make eyes at his sister. It was really claustrophobic with them all piled in the living room around him, but he honestly didn't mind the company. At night, when he was alone in the living room, he'd still dream that his father had killed him. That he was standing right outside the window. That he was breathing in Steve's ear and wrapping a hand around his throat. 

Billy had trouble sleeping. 

The shadow would make nightly appearances now too. He still hadn't been able to coax it to speak again, but he could feel a somewhat _urgent_ feeling when it snaked around him. Like something was _coming_. He just didn't know what it could be. 

When the night mares got too bad Janie would somehow just _know_ and would come out in the living room and curl up on the other side of the couch with him. Sometimes they would talk about Steve or California, sometimes they'd talk about Wheeler Jr and sometimes they wouldn't talk about anything and just watch infomercials until the sun creeped into the windows. 

It was easy to forget the shitshow that was his life when Janie was with him. She just seemed to get him without him even having to say a word. 

School had been a pain to deal with. He had missed two full weeks of it, but Wheeler had brought his assignments over every night. He'd never been really _fond_ of her, but he liked that she didn't look at him with pity. She just told him he better not fall behind because she couldn't hold up the class average without him. Billy knew she had stayed with Steve in the hospital and he also knew she was aware of his relationship with Steve. She never made a nasty comment or looked at him with disdain so it was hard for him to hate her. He just thanked her and let her sit at the table with him while he worked on some of his assignments. 

Billy hadn't wanted anyone at school to know what happened to him, at least not the truth. So, Wheeler also helped him with that. She and Byers got the rumor mill started and it came to life on it's own after that. It helped that his Dad was also walking around town beat to shit courtesy of the Chief and Janie. 

There were three theories floating around about Billy Hagrove's trip to the hospital and subsequent absence. 

One, that his step mom had left his Dad and Neil got drunk and crashed his truck with Billy inside of it. Two, he'd been caught with a married woman two towns over and the husband had nearly killed him, and Three, which was the closest one to the truth, was that his Dad had gotten drunk, got handsy with his sister and Billy fought him off before they laid each other out and now Susan was taking the kids and moving shop. 

He mostly got nods of approval when he walked back through those double doors and only the teachers seemed to wince at his injuries. 

Now it's two days into May, he's been back at school a week and a half, and his face is mostly healed. There's only a few faded yellow splotches left where his fracture was. His abdomen is still riddled with varying degrees of healing, the worst of it around his ribs, but he can move and breathe without wanting to die now. He's still a bit stiff but it's not enough to keep him down, and even the stitches where he'd been cut open will be ready to come out soon. He's ready to move forward with his life. 

And the first step forward is moving into the trailer with Max and Susan. 

It's only a two bedroom, so he'd offered to crash on the couch, or set up a makeshift room where the Chief used to have a partial office, but Max straight up refused. She's been sleeping with her mom since moving in. 

She admitted to him one day that she's been having nightmares about Neil too. 

Billy really hates the bastard. 

He'd _ruined_ _them_. 

Max is back at the cabin with Janie while Susan is at work, so it's just him and Steve unpacking the Camaro. 

"Where do you want this bad boy?" Steve asks, carrying in the box with his cassette player. 

"First room on the left." He replies, hauling in a tote full of clothes. 

They work well together, Steve going back and forth bringing in boxes while Billy unpacks and starts setting things up in the small room. Once all the boxes are inside Steve helps him finish putting things away. 

Once that's done, Billy flops back onto the bed to catch his breath. Another shitty thing about being injured for so long, his stamina had became absolute _shit_. 

"You alright over there?" Steve asks, voice a bit concerned. 

"Just a little winded." He tells him. "Don't worry, Princess. I'm not dyin."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Didn't say you were, asshole." The bed dips under Steve's weight as he moves to sit beside Billy. "You glad to be out of Hopper's place?"

"Yeah," He admits, "I mean, I'm gonna miss Janie, but I felt too much like a guest." He pauses and then reluctantly adds, "and I _kinda_ missed Max's stupid mouth." 

Steve laughs at that. "I'm going to tell her you said that."

He glares at him. "You better fucking not. I'll kick your ass."

The smile on his face does something to Billy's stomach. "All lies, Hargrove." 

He looks so damn appealing, sitting on Billy's bed, hair a mess and no jacket to be found. He kind of wants to kiss him. 

He and Steve have only kissed twice since he left the hospital. He doesn't care how supposedly _cool_ the Chief is with their relationship, he'd been uncomfortable as fuck with the idea of kissing Steve in his house. Plus, the only kids that know for sure about them are Janie and Max. He thinks Will is suspicious, but he hasn't asked Billy yet, so he can't be one hundred percent sure. He'd rather not sneak a peck and have to listen to Henderson freak out for two hours about it.

He _knows_ they need to tell the kids _eventually_. But right now he just wants to keep it at a minimum. And then they'll have to swear the little shits to secrecy once it comes out. Just because _Neil_ is supposed to leave them alone, doesn't mean that some other assholes won't want to make him and Steve pay for what they are. 

Steve is also _graduating_ soon. His dad was royally pissed at him for blowing off Paul so now he's refusing to let him do anything with the company once he's out of high school until he can _prove himself_ , and since he didn't get into any of the _good_ colleges he applied to, he's been completely down in the dumps. It also didn't help that both Wheeler and Byers got summer internships at The Hawkins Post. 

He's not _blaming_ them for Steve feeling like a failure, but it does suck to see Steve upset that he's so far behind that upcoming _seniors_ have better prospects than him at the moment. 

Steve puts on a happy face around the kids, and around Byers and Wheeler, but Billy can see the pain behind his eyes. He hates it. Wants to fix it. Wants Steve to know that this doesn't define him. He's one of the bravest people Billy has met, he shouldn't let not getting into school douse the fire inside him. And fuck Chris Harrington. Steve didn't want to work for his company anyway. 

Maybe he should get a job at the local pool or something, once it opens for the summer. That's what Billy is going to do. Probably going to try to get into the meat packing plant in Angola too. Anything to start saving money to help Susan out and then get a place of his own next year. 

Steve's staring at him now. An odd expression on his face. "You sure you're alright?"

" _Yep_." He insists, "Just thinking about how _hot_ you'd look in swim trunks if you went for a lifeguard job next month. 

Steve nearly cackles. "Uh, yeah, _no_. That would be more _your_ thing. You're the one with all the" he motions to all of Billy, "body confidence."

Which is fair and unfair at the same time. Steve has a _really_ nice body too. "Well, maybe not as much _now_. I'm Still kinda black and blue here and cut up, Harrington."

" _Ok,_ but by _June_ you're going to be back to your ridiculously sexy self, have a battle scars, _and_ have all the single ladies eating out of the palm of your hand."

"And many of the _not so single_ ones. " He winks and Steve pulls a face. 

"I swear to _God_ , Billy, if you hit on Mrs Wheeler-"

"Hey, man, I don't _have_ to hit on her. She comes to me. Not my fault Nancy's old man ain't satisfying her."

" _Gross. I_ don't want to even _think_ about Ted and Karen having sex."

"Obviously, _Karen_ doesn't want to think about Ted and Karen having sex either, or she wouldn't be trying to get in my fuckin pa-" 

Steve leans over and covers his mouth with a hand. "Oh my god, _shut up._ You're going to make me picture her trying to _kiss_ you and it's gonna make me puke."

Billy doesn't think about what he does next, his body just moves. He grabs Steve's wrist and pries his hand off his mouth before pulling him down into a heated kiss.

Steve fumbles to stay up right with his free hand but kisses Billy back with just as much fervor. 

He pulls away after a moment and breathes heavy. " _Shit._ Were you saving up for that, or what?"

" _Maybe._ " He replies, moving his hands to grab Steves belt loops. He pulls, trying to get him to move on top of him. 

Steve follows the movement and straddles Billy's hips, but doesn't put any pressure on his abdomen at all. 

"You got me all _hot and bothered_ in the hospital, and _then_ I was stuck with a constant audience for weeks after that. What did you think would happen once I got you alone?"

"Yeah, I may have done that on purpose." He smirks and there's a sudden fire burning low in his gut when Steve rubs his thumb along his jaw before kissing him open mouthed and _hot_. 

He slides his hands down over the other boys ass and squeezes. Steve moans into his mouth and he can _feel_ it on his tongue. Fuck. He needed this. Dreamt of it. That day in the woods felt so far away now. Almost like it hadn't happened at all. 

They kiss like that for awhile, Billy's hands roaming over Steve's body while Steve practically sucks on his tongue, but all too quickly he's pulling away to look around. "Should we really be doing this right now?"

"Susan's at work and I'm Max's ride… _so_ , no one is here to interrupt." He leans up to plant a kiss on his neck before pulling his ear lobe into his mouth with his teeth. 

_"Fuuuck."_ Steve groans. "But uh, you're not even healed all the way."

He rolls his hips up, pressing his hard on against Steve's ass. "My _dick_ still works, Harrington."

Steve groans again. " _Good to know_."

He yanks the hem of Steve's shirt up. "Come _on_ , I've been dying to get my mouth on you for _weeks._ "

" _Fuck._ Ok. Just...." He helps Billy take off his shirt, but the jeans are a bit harder to get rid of while sitting on top of him, so he rolls off and shimmies out of his pants, leaving him in nothing but his briefs. "You should.. You should probably be on top." He says while he watches Billy unbutton his own shirt. 

He raises a brow. "Oh? Why is that?"

"Because, I mean, I'll be too focused on not hurting you if you're under me." 

He wants to tell Steve to stop being ridiculous. He's not made of fucking _glass, ok?_ But he looks down at the still very vivid bruises on his skin and understands Steve's hesitation. " _Fine_." He sighs and makes a show of removing his skin tight jeans. The jeans he wears while going _commando_.

He likes the look on the brunets face when his cock springs free. His eyes are _hungry_ but he tries so hard not to show it. It's cute as hell. 

He crawls in between his legs and pulls his briefs down just enough to tuck beneath his balls. He's already had his hands on Harrington's dick, but he didn't really get a chance to admire it. It's not as thick as his own but it's long and curved and pink at the tip. He really wants to get his mouth on it, but he wants to do something else first. 

This encounter isn't going to be about longevity. He knows they aren't going to last long _at all_ , but he does take a moment to just enjoy the feeling of their cocks sliding together as he settles over the other boy and licks into his mouth. 

Their hips thrust against each other, seeking friction and pleasure as their hands and mouths explore the way they hadn't been able to a month before, when there were kids just a few hundred yards away and the chance of getting caught was nearly ninety percent. 

"Wanna blow you." Billy pants into his ear when he can hardly stand it anymore. "You gonna let me?"

Steve moans at his words. " _Shit_. Yeah. Want you to." 

He slides down his body, careful of his still tender ribs, and wastes no time pulling his briefs the rest of the way off before licking his cock from base to tip. He tastes like sweat and something that is so inherently _Steve._ It's intoxicating. He does it again, flattening his tongue as he goes before wrapping his lips around the head and sucking gently. 

His cock is hot and silky in his mouth and he hums around it as he bobs his head up and down, reveling in the sounds he's pulling from Steve's mouth above him. 

" _Jesus Christ."_ He moans, right hand moving to grab Billy's hair. "I was right. Your mouth is _so much_ fucking trouble." He rolls his hips up, cock sliding further into Billy's mouth. " _God_ , _yes_ , don't stop."

He's not planning on it. He teases him, rubs the skin just below his balls and hollows his cheeks as he sucks him down. He loves the feeling of Steve's fingers in his hair and his dick sliding in and out of his mouth. It's grounding in a way. Makes him feel one with the here and now. 

He's not trapped in his old life anymore. He's not stuck in that room on Cherry street. He's not glancing over his shoulder waiting for Neil to pounce. 

He's _here_. In his new room. With _Steve_. And it's _good_. _They're_ good. He wants to savor this. 

So, he does. 

"Fuck, you keep doing that and I'm going to come." 

Billy stops and pulls off. "That's kind of the point, Steve."

"Fuck you." He tries to make it sound angry, but it sounds more like a laugh. 

"Maybe I'll let you next time." He quips, blue eyes locking on brown. "If you're _good_." The cock in his hand jerks and he knows he's hit on something. Wants to test it. "You'd like that wouldn't you? Want to fuck me with this pretty cock of yours?" He pumps his hand and runs his thumb over the slit, rubbing precum into hot skin. 

Steve's face is scarlet red. "Sh-shut up."

"It's ok. I _know_ what my ass looks like. I know what it _feels_ like too. You'd probably come from just pushing inside the first time."

Steve's eyes snap closed and he lets his head fall back against the pillow with another groan of, " _Billy, fuck."_

"How _would_ you like to fuck me, Stevie?" He asks, voice low and sultry as he jerks him off. "Missionary style so you can kiss me during?" He leans down and kisses his thigh. "Want me on my hands and knees, _begging_ to be fucked from behind?" Steve moans loud and he smiles devilishly. He can't even help it at this point. He's getting off on this too. "Want me to ride your cock? Want to watch me bounce and pant above you?" He twists his wrist just to watch him squirm.

"Or do you want to _tease me_ ?" He asks, and puts his thumb in his mouth, sucking and coating it with spit before continuing his sexual word tortue. "Want to push my thighs together and fuck between them until I'm aching?" He runs the thumb between Steve's cheeks and gently rubs the rim of his hole. The sharp intake of breath goes straight to his dick. "Or would you just want to _play_ with me," He strokes him faster, "pressing your fingers inside of me until I'm crying for your cock?" He lets his thumb breach his hole then, and Steve is coming _hard_ , chanting, " _Oh my god," as_ he spurts all over Billy's hand and his own chest. 

"Easy, _easy_." He whispers, milking every last drop from him. "That's it."

"Jesus, that was… _fuck."_ Harrington pants and watches Billy closely as he lets go. He doesn't move to wipe his hand, though "What are you-" He loses his words as Billy just wraps his messy hand around his own cock and starts stroking, eyes roaming over Steve's flushed, cum covered chest. "That's.. Shit that's fucking hot."

Billy watches as Steve sits up, eyes watching Billy's hand as he jerks himself off before licking his lips. Then he's moving to kneel on the bed, eyes never leaving his cock. "Hey, you...you can fuck my mouth, if you want." 

Billy nearly chokes on a moan because that is _not_ what he was expecting the older boy to say. " _Steve,_ you've never-." 

"Don't care." He says, and Billy doesn't really want to argue. 

"Fuck. Ok. Just...lean back on the pillows.. against the headboard. 

Steve complies and he adjusts the angle with Billy's pillows before Billy straddles his chest and guides his cock into his waiting mouth. 

It feels fucking _great_ when Steve wraps his lips around him _._ All those times he tried to make himself feel something while he fucked as many girls as he could? It was _this_ feeling he was chasing. 

Steve's mouth was _heaven_ . His ass would probably be even _better_ , but right now? Yeah, he'll take this right here. This is _perfect._ _Steve_ is perfect. 

He thrusts slowly, knowing this is the first time Steve has ever had a dick in his mouth. He doesn't want to hurt him, doesn't want to _choke_ him, so he tries to pace himself. He still has a hand wrapped around the base so he doesn't push too far. 

Steve's hands are running up and down his thighs and then massaging his ass as he fucks into his mouth. Tears gather in the corners when he goes just a bit too far and Steve gags a bit. He backs off but then those hands are urging his hips forward. He's still careful but he moves faster, and then Steve is getting _bolder_. The fingers of his left hand are pulling and kneading the flesh of his ass while the middle finger of the other hand moves down his crack, but hesitates before getting close to his rim. 

His breath hitches and he stops moving for a moment, grabbing Harrington's wrist and bringing his finger to his mouth. He starts moving again and feels Steve moan around his dick as he sucks on his finger. Then he's releasing him and leaning forward more, hand resting against the headboard as he pushes his ass out. "Do it, Harrington. You know you want to."

He's met with another vibration around his dick and then the finger is tracing around his rim before pushing inside. " _Fuck._ " His hips stutter forward and he's not trying to be careful anymore. He can't focus with Steve's finger breaching him, slowly sinking into him up to the knuckle and then pulling back out, while his dick is fucking into his mouth. "So, good. You're _so fucking perfect for me._ " He groans, thrusting faster and letting himself get lost in the sensation. 

Steve gags twice more and his finger slides further inside of Billy because of it and _that's it._ It's _over_. Billy is coming inside Steve's mouth without warning, and he _feels bad_ , but he can't even say sorry because he's fucking dizzy with how hard he just came. 

He backs up and Steve coughs, saliva and cum dripping down his chin as he tries to catch his breath. 

Billy is panting but he runs a hand through Steve's hair and then down the side of his neck. "Shit… sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't… it happened fast."

Steve wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before answering. "It's ok, man. I asked you to do it, and I got a bit carried away." 

Billy sits back onto the bed. "Still. I usually have more control than that."

Steve laughs. "Yeah, well, I'm surprised we both had any control whatsoever. And we lasted longer than I thought we would too. I've been wanting to fuck around with you for a long time, and _holy shit._ That was _good_."

"As good as you imagined?" He asks with a sly smile. 

"Better." He replies with a smirk of his own. "And you have the dirtiest fucking mouth, man. _I swear to God._ "

"Yeah, I've been told that a time or two."

"Speaking of dirty." Steve looks down at himself and groans. "I need a fucking shower. Do we have time before we need to get Max?"

Billy looks at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "Yeah we have a few minutes to spare." 

"Perfect. Come on, but no funny business."

"You can't take a shower with me and not expect _some_ kind of funny business, Harrington." Steve glares at him so he sighs, " _Fine._ I won't try to jump you, _Jesus_." 

Turns out, after bitching about time and not messing around anymore, it wasn't _Billy_ that started round two in the shower. It was fucking _Steve_.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max finally feels like she has a family, and Steve Graduates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> Sorry, for the wait. My six month old is cutting teeth so it's been crazy in my house lately 😩
> 
> And also, I'm sorry these past few chapters are falling kind of short compared to my earlier ones. The transition into s3 is giving me some trouble because I didn't want to just jump into it and skip out on some small moments. 
> 
> But hopefully it picks up from here on out.

**Late May 1985**

Max had decided that it was weird living with just her mom and Billy. The first week was really, _really_ awkward. Her mom had only talked to Billy once while he was in the hospital. She'd told Max later, when Jim had dropped her off at the Motel 6 in town, that she'd felt so incredibly guilty that she couldn't bring herself to visit more than that one time. 

She wasn't proud of it, but she told her mom that she really _should_ feel fucking guilty. Max had never talked to her mom about Neil while they were living in that house, but in the somewhat safety of the motel room, she let herself tell her mom _everything._

She told her she was so _angry_ that she married Neil, that she let him drag them halfway across the country and away from her dad. She was angry and upset that she just _let_ him hurt Billy. She understands that her mom didn't know how abusive he was when she married him, but it had to have been obvious after the first six months. There was no good excuse for standing aside and letting Neil do that to Billy.

_There's no excuse._

_I know. There's not. But at first it wasn't bad. I loved him so much. He offered stability. We needed that and we had already decided to discipline our own kids. By the time I knew how bad it was, right before we left California, I was too scared to say anything. I didn't want him to decide to go after you._

_So, it was fine as long as it wasn't me. That's great._

_Maxine. I'm sorry._

_I'm not the one you should apologize to._

There were more harsh words thrown around because Max just got more and more pissed off the longer she thought about it, but when her mom started crying she decided to lay off. 

The next day her mom told her that she was leaving Neil for good and that she was going to talk to the Chief about getting help. She wanted Max and Billy to be safe. Both of them. 

Max was the one that cried then. Just for a minute. because she wanted that _so_ bad. To be free of that house and of Neil and know that Billy wasn't going to get hit anymore. It was such a _relief._

But she wasn't prepared for the awkwardness between her mom and him. She should have been. Offering for him to stay with them wasn't going to magically fix the fact that she'd let him get hurt in the first place. He never said anything to her about it. He'd just said he appreciated her offer and he would help her out if she needed it. 

And that _awkwardness?_ It was all on her mother's part. She didn't know how to talk to him. Didn't know how to apologize so she didn't say much of anything. She'd mutter a _good morning_ or _I'll be back later_ or _can you pick Max up from the Wheelers house_? Until finally Billy just point blank stopped her in the kitchen. 

_I don't really hate you, you know. I know how… how my Dad is, so_ . He'd shrugged. _I don't… I don't_ **hate** _you._

It's not exactly forgiveness and it's not letting her off the hook, but she can tell it makes her mom feel better. She starts talking after that. 

So, while it was weird for the three of them to be living here together, it was also _nice._ There were no eggshells or tension in the air, her mom didn't find constant excuses to be out of the house, and Billy didn't walk around like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. 

In fact, Billy had become _much_ more relaxed. It had taken a while, nearly a month, but his asshole nature had calmed down a lot. Maybe it was because Neil was leaving them alone, or maybe it was because him and Steve were _dating_ now. Maybe it was a bit of both. It didn't really matter, she was just glad to see more smiles and less glares. 

He even started _asking_ her to come places with him. Like when he'd told her he was taking El (Janie) to the mall because she needed a new wardrobe and wanted her to tag along. It had been _nice._ It had felt like they were real siblings as he followed them around JC Penny and Macy's while they picked out the perfect outfits for El's new look, and then stopped by The Wall before grabbing ice cream at the new sundae shop, Scoops Ahoy. 

Max had thought their uniforms were unfortunate and tacky but Billy had gotten quiet and thoughtful before asking the girl at the counter for an application. 

Max had snorted. _That for you, Billy?_

_Fuck off, shitbird. It's for someone else._

El and her had exchanged a look and burst out laughing saying _Steve_ at the same time. 

Billy hadn't confirmed or denied it but they both _knew._

It was kind of cute how her brother mooned over Steve. He looked at him like he was the brightest thing in the room. It was surprising that no one at their stupid school ever caught on. Maybe because Billy was still an asshole that wore too much denim and too many rings and could still probably kick most people's asses even after the beating he took. 

So, he kept looking at him like he was the best thing he's ever seen or tasted and it was kinda cute. 

And also kinda _gross_. 

She wasn't stupid. She knew they did a lot more than kiss. She'd almost _caught_ them once. It had been nice out and she decided to skate home a bit early from the arcade. Only the Camaro was in the driveway so she figured Billy was the only one there, so she hadn't announced her entry. It was _her_ house too. So, she hadn't known Steve was there and they hadn't heard her come in. 

The door to his bedroom was open and she'd heard...well, she doesn't want to think about what she heard, but the only thing that kept her from panicking was that she knew the difference between good screams and bad ones. 

She'd turned right back around and skated up and down the street until she figured they were done doing…whatever it was they were doing. When she came back she made as much noise as possible and slammed open the door. 

Luckily, they had been in the living room by then, but she couldn't help but notice how startled and red faced Steve was when she waltz in. 

She couldn't really look either of them in the eye for days after that.

But it's better now. She's used to the flirting and the small touches because they are comfortable with her. It makes her feel kind of important that she knows their secret and they feel safe enough to be themselves around her. 

Max liked that. 

She also liked that they'd surprised her and had taken her out for her birthday the second week of May. They'd picked up Lucas on the way and took them to see a rated R movie, then let her pick which restaurant she wanted to eat at.

Billy had cracked jokes and teased her and Lucas and Steve came to her rescue and teased him back. It was hands down the best birthday she'd had since she was seven and got the handcrafted dollhouse from her father. 

It was _fun_ and for the first time _ever_ , it felt like they were _finally_ the family Neil had always pretended they were. 

* * *

Steve was happy. Or at least _happier_ than he'd been in awhile. And Billy was… he was _better_. 

Steve hadn't known, hadn't _realized_ that Billy had been constantly on alert before, that he'd always had a tension in his shoulders and his guard up. It wasn't until he'd been away from his dad for awhile that Steve had seen a change in his demeanor. He wasn't soft, that wasn't it. Billy would _never_ be _so_ ft, but his face wasn't all hard lines and masks anymore. 

There were more _smiles_. And not the ones that he used to get what he wanted, but genuine ones. He'd laugh more, and while he was still hesitant to let the kids get too close, (because he hated being vulnerable), he was more friendly toward them. The Party had a vote and he was now an honorary member just like Steve. 

He'd just scoffed when he told him. _Wow, Steve, I'm so happy to be inducted into the nerd squad,_ **really.**

So, yeah. Things with Billy were actually pretty good. 

And _sex_ with Billy?

 _Holy shit._ That was great too. 

They'd only fucked around a few times since _moving day,_ but each time left Steve completely breathless. He remembers what he'd told Dustin, about sexual electricity, but he hadn't known then how strong it could be _._ Sex with girls had been always been good, and sex with Nancy had been _extremely satisfying_ but the current that rushed underneath his skin every time Billy touched him? That was like _power plant_ level. 

He wondered if Billy felt it too. 

He must have felt _something_ because whenever they got more than twenty minutes alone together he couldn't keep his hands to himself. Steve didn't mind. He liked the attention, and any it was nice being able to touch him behind closed doors. Because he couldn't anywhere else. 

They were in a relationship, but it was still too new, still mostly taboo in a small town, so they kept it quiet. They couldn't take it outside their tight circle, but just being able to call it an actual relationship still felt _good._

There were small hiccups, of course, just like any relationship he'd had in the past. Billy would still get closed off every once and awhile and Steve still felt awful about the theatre incident and had eventually asked Billy about it. Billy had told him it wasn't his fault and had confessed that the _real_ reason his Dad had automatically suspected something was up was because of what happened with his ex boyfriend in California. 

Steve hadn't known he'd even had an ex boyfriend, so it had surprised him. That surprise had quickly turned to anger when he'd found out what Max had been talking about when she'd said Neil had put Billy in the hospital in California too. He'd done it because he found out that Billy had a boyfriend. And he'd never let him forget what a fuck up that made him. 

If Hopper had not already beaten the hell out of the guy, Steve might have given into the urge to get his bat out of the trunk. His parents might not be the… most loving out there, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't end up in the hospital for telling them he had a boyfriend now. He might get _disowned_ , because yeah his dad is kind of a _dick_ , but he can't picture his dad beating him for it. 

He hates that Billy had to go through all that shit. That he's still dealing with the aftermath and the emotional turmoil stemming from it. But at least he's out now. He's safe. And that's all that Steve wants for him. 

So yeah, things were good. They went to school, they hung out with the brats and looked for jobs because they were on a time crunch. 

The day Billy had given him the Scoops Ahoy application, Steve had almost dumped him, though. 

He'd looked down at it and frowned. "Billy." 

"Steve." 

"Are you serious right now?"

Billy had kept his gaze firm. "Dead serious."

"It's an ice cream shoppe. In a _mall_."

He'd quirked his brow. "Yeah? And it's almost summer. _Perfect_ summer job."

Yeah, he was sure that was what caught Billy's attention. "I _know_ you've seen their uniforms."

"Your point?"

"Billy." 

"Ok, so what if I think you'd look good dressed up like a sailor? Maybe it gives me some spank bank material. Would you really deny me that, Steve? Would you?"

" _Puh-lease,_ everything about me gives you spank bank material, why should I degrade myself to get you hard when I can do that now?"

"Because you'd _like_ it. Knowing that I think you look good in it."

So he _maybe_ had a point. It would kinda do something for him knowing his boyfriend thought it was hot. 

"So, you gonna fill it out?"

It was just for the summer, until he found something better, so why not? "Fine. Give me a fucking pen." He'd filled it out with Billy grinning at him the whole time. "You're obligated to bring the brats in for ice cream to keep me company on your days off though, you know that right?"

He'd just smiled and nodded like he'd just won some kind of prize. 

He supposes he kind of did. His stomach felt a little queasy thinking about what they could get up to after hours while he was still in his uniform. 

Now it's _finally_ Graduation Day and Steve feels sick for a whole other reason. 

He could see his mom in the third row during the graduation ceremony, but his father, unsurprisingly, was nowhere to be found. 

It _stung_. It did. He knew his dad was disappointed in him, for failing to get into the best colleges and then blowing off his hiring manager, but he'd thought… well, he'd _hoped_ that he would at _least_ acknowledge the fact that he was graduating high school. 

His parents had been home for three weeks but his father had barely said a word to him, least of all looked his way. He'd only opened his mouth to tell him that he was going to be cut off. He could live at home and keep his car but he no longer had free reign of their money. 

It wasn't the money that felt like a slap in the face, though, he didn't care about that. It was a good thing for him to rely on himself and stop relying on his parents fortune, but it was the way he'd dressed Steve down. Ran his eyes over him and found him wanting. Looked at him with disdain and contempt. Made him feel stupid, like he was nothing but a disappointment in his father's eyes. Like he was _worthless._

It was that feeling that made him keep his mouth shut when his mom asked him about his social life and if he had a girlfriend yet. 

He'd wanted to tell his mom the truth, because he trusted his mom. He loved her, but he decided against it because even though his dad _probably_ wouldn't kick his ass for being _queer_ now, it wasn't a good idea to tell his parents about Billy. He couldn't take seeing that disappointed look again, especially because he didn't want to feel like what he felt for Billy was _wrong._ Because it _wasn't._ So, in the end, he kept it to himself. 

And now he's staring at his mom's perfect hair in the third row with an empty seat beside her and wondering what the fuck he is even doing here. 

It was _supposed_ to feel _good_ , walking across the stage. He was supposed to feel accomplished, but because of his dad, he _hadn't_ . He hadn't felt much of anything except _empty._ He'd shaken the principles hand and tasted the acidic tang of failure on his tongue. But then...he looked into the crowd and saw Billy, Nancy, Jonathan, and Dustin smiling and clapping and he let himself feel a little bit of warmth. 

He at least had his friends and his boyfriend to turn to when he got this low. His dad may not be proud of him, but they were. And for now, that was enough. 

_**End Part I** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like darker tones, you can end the fic here. (Just pretend Billy was never flayed and doesn't have to go through what I'm about to put him through.) 
> 
> If you're good with possession and the darker content that inevitability comes with that, continue on to the next chapter!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gate cracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus begins season 3.
> 
> A few things you should know about  
> -This is NOT like s3 in the show  
> -there is no goop monster  
> -the timeline may end up different  
> -I'm using kind of my own interpretation of how the mind flayer and the flayed operate (they are still a Hive Mind, but that's only when the "Queen" sends commands. Otherwise, each individual piece can just do whatever it wants until it gets another command.)  
> -some of the storylines just DO NOT happen, because fuck Steve being trapped underground while Billy is flayed. K  
> -it's about to be angst central up in here
> 
> ALSO  
> ⚠⚠⚠Trigger Warning ⚠⚠⚠  
> Everything about possession is very much like assault. It takes over people and that is such a huge violation. So, many things that happen and descriptions may feel very similar to Non-con and it's supposed to. 
> 
> There will be a darker tone from now on. 
> 
> So, if you're sensitive to that, a lot of Billy's POV's may be triggering 
> 
> Ok I think that's it. Whew

_**Part II** _

**June 28 1985**

Billy got the life guard job. 

It wasn't very hard. He was a natural swimmer and he flashed his best smile at his interview, so he wasn't surprised when he got it. 

And god was it _perfect_. He was outside in the wonderful heat of a midwest summer, _and_ got to yell at kids for breaking the rules. A win win if he ever saw one. 

He was also apparently the best eye candy in this town, because it seemed like an awful lot of _moms_ showed up with their kids instead of sending them alone when it was his shift. 

Not that he _cared_. He was used to the attention, but it was rather amusing to play coy on the off chance one worked up the courage to approach him. Some of them really thought they were getting somewhere when he'd return their smiles and playful banter. Poor things. They really had _no idea_ that they were barking up the wrong tree. 

Sometimes, the atmosphere got to him though, and he'd immediately book it to Steve's after his shift was up if he wasn't working. Steve didn't seem to mind getting fucked into the mattress. Even if it was because Billy worked himself up by being a huge ass flirt. 

_Remind me to send the housewives of Hawkins some gift baskets. Jesus._

Steve had also gotten the job at the mall. 

Which is why he is currently driving three of the five nerds to Starcourt at eight o'clock on a Thursday night.

They meet up with Wheeler Jr in the parking lot and Billy pointedly does _not_ look at Karen as the boy says good bye. 

He follows the gaggle of long limbed and awkward teens inside and towards Steve's workplace. He kind of feels bad for Steve. This is the second time _this week_ that they've snuck into the new theatre using the back entrance of Scoops Ahoy. 

Hopefully they never catch on. 

Steve is already there, facing away and leaning against the counter, talking to his coworker Robin. Billy can't help but grin, because if _Robin_ is working, then he can flirt freely with Steve and not have to pretend they are just friends. 

Robin had known almost _immediately_ that they were together, though she hadn't had the courage to ask until the third shift they'd worked. It was actually _Billy_ that tipped her off, or really his ring and his earring. She knew what they _meant_ , and if he was there talking to _Steve,_ well, one plus one equals two, doesn't it? 

He's not worried about her outing them, because _he_ knows why _she_ knew the signs. Steve hasn't put it together yet, but Billy won't say anything. He's not going to out _her_ either. 

Robin sees him and gives a small nod. "Dingus, your _children_ are here."

Steve turns around with a frown, but then sees Billy and smiles. 

Billy fucking can't get enough of that smile. 

"You guys _gotta_ stop using me for my free movie passes. You're gonna give me a complex."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, Steve." Mike says walking straight past him and Billy nearly flicks him in the ear. 

Will sighs "Mike, don't be an _ass._ " He looks up at Steve, "Thanks, though. Really."

"Anytime kid."

Lucas pulls Max along and he follows them into the back room where Mike has the door already open. They all slip out but he stops Max before she gets a single step through. " _Remember_ what we talked about, no funny business, Max." 

She rolls her eyes at him. "Yes, _dad._ "

Sometimes he still wants to strangle her. He settles with just a glare. "I'm being _serious_."

She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. "I know you are, but you don't have to worry. He hasn't even gotten to _third_ _base_ yet." She smirks at the end like she knows it will get a reaction out of him. 

It nearly does, but he closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose a few times. "I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that." 

"Max! You coming or what?" Lucas calls from down the hall.

She raises both of her eyebrows and juts out her chin, like she's saying _well?_

 _"Go."_ He groans in frustration. He really doesn't want to think about this. 

"Later." She runs to catch up, calling over her shoulder, "Have fun harassing Steve!"

"So, you plan on harassing me, huh?" Said brunet asks as he appears behind him. " _Please_ tell me it's of a sexual nature. I'm bored." 

"Not while you're on the clock. Your favorite coworker seems the type that would probably go out of her way to annoy me at _my_ job if I leave her to serve the starving masses by herself." 

He looks thoughtful."Yeah, sounds like a Robin thing to do."

"And if you're so bored, maybe you try, I don't know, _doing your job?"_

"But it's _so_ overrated. I've scooped so much ice cream it's a wonder I can use my hand at all. My wrist went numb two hours ago."

Billy just physically turns him around and pushes him out to the front. "Stop being so dramatic." 

"Impossible, " Robin quips from the cash register, "it's his natural state of being."

"Oh, screw you, Robin. Who was the one that argued with that old guy earlier about the difference between custard, ice cream, and gelato."

"He was a grown ass man. He should know the difference by now."

"All he said was that the consistency reminded him of custard. You didn't have to read him the riot act."

Billy sighs as they bicker and sits at his favorite table, the one closest to the register, and gets comfortable. They will be closing soon so he lets them be. 

He watches them serve up ice cream and tries _not_ to watch Steve's ass every time he turns around. 

Ok, maybe he doesn't try _that_ hard. 

By the time nine comes around, Steve is muttering something about working his shift tomorrow and Robin is having none of it. 

"Are you _still_ bitching about Greg not letting you switch shifts?" She asks after their last customer walks away.

" _No,"_ He huffs indignantly. "I'm just _saying_ , it sucks that I have to work tomorrow when Dustin is getting home."

Billy laughs at the small pout on his face. "Holy shit, Harrington you act like the kid went off to war. He's been gone like three weeks."

"Four." He corrects and Billy rolls his eyes. 

Robin looks thoroughly entertained, though. "What I don't understand is _why_ you are friends with so many _children_. It's kind of weird."

"Wha-" He sputters, "I'm… I was their _babysitter_. I got attached to the little dipshits." 

She looks skeptical. " _You_? Steve Harrington? Asshole extraordinaire, a _babysitter_?"

He points his empty scoop at her. "I'll have you know that I'm the _best_ goddamn babysitter this side of Ft Wayne."

She hums. "With a mouth like that? I'm sure you _are._ " 

"And what's that supposed to -"

Billy shakes his head and sighs, "As riveting as this is, I'm going for a smoke."

"What?" Steve asks, affronted, "You're gonna just leave me with _her_?" 

"Don't worry, pretty boy, I'll be back." He says and leaves him to argue with Robin. 

He slips out into the back hallway and walks down the corridor until he hits the exit sign. He props the door open with the makeshift door stopper, also known as a _rock_ , and lights up. 

It's a clear night, warm and comfortable. Reminds him a lot of California nights on the pier. He watches idly as a semi backs into the opened gate across the employee parking lot. There's always supplies being deposited. It's not an odd sight. 

He's almost done with his cigarette when something shifts in the air. All the hairs on his body seems to stand on end and there is a sudden surge of electricity, and then the whole mall goes dark. He watches in fascination as the black out spiders outward and overtakes the town street by street. 

He can see all the stars twinkling in the sky above him, but it's silent and ominous as the darkness lingers. 

He feels fucking _weird._

He rubs the nape of neck. "The hell?" 

Then he sees the electricity return in the distance, coming closer until the Starcourt Mall is lit as bright as the midday sun once more. 

He snubs out his cigarette and heads back to Scoops, but he still can't shake the uneasy feeling he has. Like something is _wrong. Like something is crawling beneath his skin. Searching. Reaching._

But that's crazy. Maybe he smoked too much weed earlier. 

He tries to shake the feeling and put on a smile when he returns to see Steve and Robin now fighting over a marker and a white board. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. _Jesus_ _Christ._

Maybe seeing Steve in a sailor uniform wasn't worth it after all. 

* * *

  
Later that night, after the kids' movie is over, he kisses Steve goodbye against the freezer and herds them all into the Camaro. He drops off Lucas first and Billy notices that Will had been even _more_ quiet than usual, so he grabs the kid before he slips out. "Hey, you alright?"

Will's eyes are wide like he's surprised Billy asked. "Yeah. Yeah. Just… the movie kind of gave me like… a flashback? Or something." 

Oh. That makes sense. And the momentary black out probably didn't help. 

Max looks upset. "Why didn't you say anything? We would have left."

"I didn't want to ruin your fun." He shrugs. 

Max rolls her eyes. "Oh my god, Will, you're more important than a dumb movie."

"It's really ok, Max. I'm fine."

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow for the welcome party." 

"Yep, see you tomorrow." He gives them a final wave, but Billy waits until he closes the door before leaving. 

"Will still having a lot of those?" He asks her, but she shrugs. 

"He doesn't tell us. We only know about some of them if they happen in front of us and it's obvious. He seemed fine at the movies."

"Just keep an eye on him."

"Yes, Billy. _I will keep an eye on him just because you told me too."_ She mocks. "I was going to do that anyway. Jeez, you are so _bossy_ lately."

"Someone has to be," He mutters, and they listen to music the rest of the ride home. 

By the time he makes it to his room he's exhausted - from his shift at the pool and dealing with the brats- and it's already eleven-thirty, so he climbs into bed and passes the fuck out. 

But as soon as he slips into unconsciousness, he dreams of _the shadow_ . Only _this time_ it's not just a gentle touch gliding across his skin. It's an intense _pressure_ , then an urgent _pulling_ sensation. Like it's _excited_. 

Then something even _stranger_ happens. Flashes of images suddenly burn into him in quick succession. Some familiar, some not, its happening _so fast_ he can't really tell. There's decay, floating ash, a rip, a crack in a wall, blinding white, darkness, red lights, concrete tunnels, uniforms, pavement, trees, his _house, his room,_ **_him_ ** _._

_What the-_

**_Found you_ ** _._ The _voice_ that he hasn't heard since waking up from the hospital echoes in his mind, but it's so much deeper now, and the shadow is _bigger_ than he remembers. The shadow looms over him. it's heavier too and snaking its way across his body, _trapping_ him, _pinning him down._

What the fuck? What _the fuck_? 

**_Don't struggle._ **

And then black tendrils of smoke, of ink colored _ash,_ push between his parted lips and force his mouth wide. He does exactly what the voice told him not to do. 

He _struggles_. 

He struggles against the weight pinning him down, struggles against the thick smoke entering his lungs. He gasps and shakes as pain fills every part of his being. It's worse than any beating Neil ever gave him. He's suffocating and he can feel every inch of the shadow monster entering his body. Tears are streaming down his face but he can't breathe, can't make a noise, can only lay there and _feel everything._

It feels like it's never going to stop. Information he shouldn't know fills his head and he feels like it's going to _explode_ , like he's about to splinter into a million little pieces. He can't process it that fast and he thinks he may actually _die_ from this, and then it's over. The shadow has completely been absorbed into him. The pain stops. The shadow is _gone_ . He can _breathe_ . He can _move_. There's no weight on his chest and he's alone in his bed. 

His eyes snap open and he sits straight up, chest heaving and temples pouring sweat as he tries to shake the awful feeling clawing up his guts. Fuck. It was a _dream_ . Or a nightmare, really. It's _just_ a nightmare. He's fine. He's ok. There is no shadow here next to him, no inky fingers on his skin. No smoke taking his breath away. He's alone. 

And he's _fine._

_He's fine._

He ignores the strange sensation settling in the back of his head and stares at the ceiling until the sun rises. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the intensity of the last part. If it feels like it's fast and rushing, that's good. It's supposed to 😊 I hope you all liked it. 
> 
> Annnd, I'm leaving for TN tonight so I probably won't be writing this weekend. 
> 
> You'll probably be waiting awhile for the next update, sorry!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve thinks something weird is going on with Billy, and Billy thinks he's losing his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> I wrote on vacation. That's how much I love writing Billy 
> 
> ⚠⚠⚠Trigger Warning ⚠⚠⚠  
> Forced Possession  
> Sexual Assault type imagery/description  
> Control Issues

Steve doesn't get to go to Dustin's welcome home party, but he does get surprised by the boy showing up during his shift. 

It's kind of ridiculous how happy he is to see him, but by now he feels like the kid is something like a brother. Robin of course, makes fun of him but he doesn't care at this point. Henderson is back! 

And _apparently_ got himself a _girlfriend_. 

Her name is Suzie. Suzie with a Z and she's from Utah and is supposedly hotter than Phoebe Cate's. Steve didn't even know girls _went_ to those kinds of camps, and he doubts this girl is hotter than Phoebe Cates, but he's happy for Henderson. He really is. 

Dustin sticks around for a bit and asks Steve if he wants to catch a movie later. 

He's supposed to go to _Billy's_ so he promises Dustin he'll take him to the movies this coming weekend. He'll even buy the popcorn. 

Dustin agrees and leaves smiling. 

"It's really sad that your best friend is a fourteen year old." Robin says when he's gone. 

Steve just ignores her comment because he literally doesn't care. He's been through hell and back with these kids, not that she'd _understand_ that, but it doesnt matter to him anymore. Dustin had his back more than Tommy H ever had. So, who cares if he's a nerdy freshman in high school?

"So, Dustin came into Scoops today." Steve says a few hours later as he walks into the trailer with a pizza. Susan has a night shift and Max is spending the night with El so they have the trailer all to themselves. "And I've got some _shocking_ news for you. Really, prepare yourself." He sets the pizza on the coffee table in front of where Billy is watching TV. "He found a _girlfriend_ . Like a _real_ one. I was so proud, man." He settles down next to Billy but pauses when the other boy doesn't say a word or even move. 

"Nothing to say about my protege finding true love?" He asks and elbows him, a weird feeling settling in his stomach. 

Billy _still_ doesn't respond and now it's really freaking him out, so he waves a hand in front of his face. " _Billy._ " The blond blinks a few times and seems to come back to himself. "You ok?" 

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine.. sorry. Just feel weird." He says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I may be coming down with something." 

Steve puts the back of his hand on his forehead. But he's not running a fever. He's _cold_. 

"You're freezing. Maybe you should get a blanket or something?"

"I don't _feel_ cold, though. I feel fine." 

"Ok. No blanket then. But at least cuddle with me after dinner."

He smirks at him. "You're so _needy_ , Steve."

So what if he is? He's allowed to be. 

Later they are in Billy's bed. Steve's got him underneath him and he's pulling off his shirt when he notices the spaced out look on Billy's face again.

"Hey, I think we should stop." He says, even though he'd _planned_ on having his way with him tonight. But Billy seems _off._ Jumpy and distant. Steve doesn't feel like it's a good time to fool around.

He looks confused for a moment. "Why?" 

"I just don't think it's a good idea. You're kind of out of it and I think you may actually be coming down with the flu."

Billy makes a half hearted comment about Steve being scared of a damn _cold,_ but he doesn't try to talk him into continuing. 

"Maybe you should call off tomorrow." He suggests. "You really don't look well."

"Wow, tell me how you really feel." He mocks but it falls flat. 

Steve sighs. "I'm serious, Billy. You need to get some _rest_. So I'm going home, but I'll be back after my shift tomorrow ok? I'll rent a movie and then maybe we can finish this if you feel better."

" _Fine._ " He replies, and gets more comfortable in the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow. You can make it up to me, then." 

Steve rolls his eyes and puts a glass of water on his nightstand, but he hesitates before leaving. He can't shake the feeling that something is wrong here. 

"Billy?" 

"Yeah, Steve." He replies without opening his eyes. 

"Are you sure you're ok?" 

There's a long pause. "I will be." 

Why can't he ever just give a straight answer? "What does that mean?" 

He rolls over to face him. "I'm having some really bad nightmares, Steve. That's all. I couldn't sleep last night so I'm just really tired, I guess." 

"Want me to stay until you fall asleep?" He offers. 

He looks at him for a minute before he nods and scoots over in the bed. Steve climbs in and wraps an arm around him. He knows he made the right decision to stay when he relaxes into his embrace. Billy usually dislikes being the _little spoon,_ so the fact that he doesn't bitch even a little bit proves how much he needed this.

Steve wishes he'd just come to him when he's feeling like shit. When he can't sleep or when he sees Neil in town. But Billy is so used to being alone that he forgets he has people to lean on now. Maybe one day he'll open up willingly without Steve having to read his body language or his mind, but until then he'll just have to keep reminding him. 

Steve stays until his breathing evens out and then waits _another_ hour. He passes Susan's car on the way home. Saved by the skin of his teeth. 

* * *

  
Billy thinks he's going crazy. Or maybe not _crazy,_ exactly, but at the very least he's suffering some kind of side effect from all the concussions he's had the last year. Because he _blacked out yesterday_ for at least an hour before Steve showed up and the nightmares he's had the last few months are apparently happening during the _day_ now. 

_In the middle of his fuckin shift._

He ignored Steve's suggestion of staying home because he actually slept last night. But he's regretting that decision now. 

Because one minute he's rubbing sunscreen on his skin- because suddenly his skin feels sensitive as _shit-_ and he's smiling at all the lonely house wives lined up along his side of the pool, and the next minute he's half delirious and stumbling back into the locker room while flashes of smoke swirl in and out of his vision. 

He stumbles into the shower and hastily turns it on, not caring that he is still wearing his shirt. 

The voice inside is talking to him. Telling him _it's time._

 **_We need another._ **

He wants the voice to be quiet. He wants his head to stop swimming. He wants this to make some fucking _sense._

He can hear someone calling his name now, asking if he's alright. He tries to tell them no, but his mouth won't form the words. He slides helplessly onto the floor and lets the shower beat down on him as he tries to focus on the face in front of him. 

It's Heather. She is speaking quietly, a worried expression on her face as she reaches out to gently touch his trembling frame. 

**_Take her_. **

What? 

**_Make her one of us_** _._

A vision of dark smoke clawing its way up from the very pit of him and snaking into her waiting body flashes across his mind and he blinks a couple of times, trying to get rid of it. 

Because what the _fuck_? 

She is still talking to him but he can't remember what she's said. "What?"

"I said, are you _hurt_ ? Billy, are you _ok_? Should I call someone?" There's a sense of urgency when she asks. 

Should she? Does he want her too? He feels so fucking _weird_ . Like he's on fire and cold at the same time. Like something is crawling inside of him and there's an undercurrent of fear taking over. He just wants to go home. He wants _Steve._ He tries to tell her that, tries so _hard,_ but he can't make the words come out. 

It's like something is blocking them. Like someone is _preventing_ him from speaking. And then he watches in abject horror as his hand lifts away from his body on it's own accord and grabs her wrist. 

His mouth opens now, he can feel the vibration of words being spoken in his throat, but it's not _him_ that's doing it. It doesn't even _sound like him_ when he says, "No, I think _you_ can help me just fine." 

Panic settles over him like a well worn leather jacket. He's not the one doing this. He's not the one in control of his body as it pulls Heather forward. He can only watch like a fucking bystander as something else moves his arms and pins the girl down in shower stall. 

_No no no no. What the fuck?! What the_ **_fuck?!_ ** _Stop! Stop!_

He tries desperately to get his limbs to obey him. Tries to stop the hand pressing down into the girls throat. Tries to clamp his mouth closed as the _voice_ whispers words into Heather's ear. 

"Don't struggle." It says, "It will be over soon." 

Like him the night before last, she struggles against his hold on her and bites into his lip as his mouth moves over hers, drawing blood. 

Billy tries again to throw himself away from her but he _can't._ She's kicking and crying and he feels _sick._ _Sick. Sick. Sick._

Then black begins to spill out of him and drips thick into Heather's open mouth and she's screaming screaming _screaming. And he is too. Loud and relentless_ in his head. He just wants it to _stop!_

He loses time again. 

When he comes to, he is sitting inside of the Camaro. He is no longer dripping with water and he's wearing different clothes than he'd had on earlier. He rubs his eyes and flexes his fingers. They are obeying him now. He feels the panic returning when he thinks of Heather, when he tastes copper in his mouth. He is still in the Pool parking lot and can see her station wagon a few feet away so he throws the door open and runs back inside. 

It's closing time so there aren't many employees lingering. He looks in the employee lounge first and then the snack bar and kitchen but both are empty of Heather's presence. He hesitates outside of the locker room, but swallows down his trepidation and opens the door. "Heather?" He calls into the dim room. His voice makes him wince. He can't unhear the way he'd heard it speak to her. 

He walks slowly and quietly through the locker room and looks through the showers and sauna but she isn't there. 

Fuck. 

He gives up and locks the doors before heading back out to his car. Maybe he just missed her, but when he looks up he sees her, hands digging through her purse as she leans on her driver side door. 

She looks ok, he thinks. She doesn't look like she's been crying or anything, but bile still climbs his throat as he calls out to her. "Heather? You ok?" 

Her eyes snap up to look at him and at first she looks a little frightened but then she's shaking her head. "Hey, Billy. Have you seen my keys? I can't find them anywhere."

She seems normal and he feels a sense of relief wash over him. Maybe he'd just blacked out and had another nightmare. Maybe he should go to the doctor. 

"No, I didn't see them when I locked up. Do you need a ride?"

"Would you mind? I don't want to be late for dinner."

"Yeah, no problem. Come on." 

She slips into the passenger side and tells him how to get to her house. It's on the nice side of town. Close to Steve's house. 

The whole ride there he feels tense. Like he's not quite sure what to think. A part of him is so _sure_ that something happened earlier but he has no way of knowing unless he asks. 

"Hey, Heather. Can I - uh ask you something?"

He can see her make a strange face in his peripheral vision but she answers, "I guess so?"

"Um- this is going to sound nuts, but earlier today? I was feeling pretty spacey. Like totally out of it. I think I was having some kind of… attack or episode or something. I thought I might have seen you? In the locker room? Did you like...talk to me at all?" 

He hears her take a sharp breath and he feels cold all over. 

"I…you mean...that wasn't a _dream_?" She asks so quietly, and he can hear the sudden fear in her voice. 

He doesn't blame her for being scared. He's fucking scared too. 

"I don't know." He replies. "I thought it was… but there was like this _…smoke_?" 

Her breathing is suddenly becoming labored and he thinks she might be _crying?_

 _"Shit._ I'm sorry." He pulls over to the side of the road and looks over at her. "Are you-" 

She's pressed herself completely against the passenger door, as far away from him as she can get, and she looks like she's about to hyperventilate as tears slide down her cheeks. 

_Fuck._

"I'm _sorry._ " He says again, hands lifted in surrender. "I'm not going to hurt you. _Shit_ I don't even know what the hell is going on either." 

"You- you- why did you- What the _hell,_ Billy?"

"It wasn't _me_. I swear! It's like… it's...I don't know. I couldn't control anything." 

More tears are falling and she's shaking now. "That's crazy! " 

He wants to puke. "I know. Fuck. Believe me I know it sounds crazy." He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. " _Oh, my God._ "

"Please, just… take me home."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I'll take you home." 

He pulls back onto the road and tries to ignore the girl next to him. He's so damn confused and he feels like a fucking monster. 

He pulls up to the house and expects her to jump quickly out of the car and slam the door in his face, but something in the air shifts and the hairs on his neck stand up. He turns his head to look at her and her head is tilted, watching him. There are no more tears, no more shaking, just an odd look in her eyes as she says, "We should take them." 

_"What?"_

She looks up at the house. "We should take them. Make them one of _us_." 

He swallows down his fear. Is this how Heather felt in the locker room? Like she was looking at someone she knew but at the same time _didn't?_

"Maybe next time." He says slowly, unsure what else to say. 

Heather nods and agrees, "Next time." 

Then she is slipping out of his car and walking up to her house, never once looking back at him. 

_What the fuck is going on?_

He pushes the gas pedal to the floor and gets the fuck out of there. He's trying to calm himself down, trying to breathe and convince himself that he's _fine_. That this is all just a horrible nightmare, but he knows it's not. Heather's fear was tangible. 

He _knows_ he should tell someone, should at least tell _Steve,_ because he's obviously in some messed up _shit_. But there's a terrible feeling in his gut. He's scared that no one will believe what had just happened and dismiss him as crazy, and if they _did_ believe him, it wouldn't matter because whatever is inside him will come out again and _hurt_ them. Like it hurt Heather. 

Picturing Steve in Heather's place is what pushes him to make a decision. He can't risk it. Even if it's all in his head. 

He doesn't go home. 

Instead, he pulls into the backlot of a gas station and sleeps in his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy figures stuff out and Steve gets thrown into a closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter, but wanted to give you guys something.

Billy has no fucking idea what is happening anymore. 

He remembers sleeping in his car but that's it. He expected to wake up early in the morning with a stiff neck and maybe a headache, but when he opens his eyes he's met with a strange sight. 

It's not morning. Judging by the position of the sun, it's in the middle of the afternoon. And he's at the fucking _pool_ . He's wearing his whistle and the standard red swim trunks like this is just a normal fucking day at his job. But there is _nothing_ normal about this. He doesn't know how he got here. 

He looks around and is surprised to see Heather is here too. It's like last night never happened. They're just here, doing their jobs like it's no big deal. He waves her over, hoping maybe she can shed some fucking light on this weird ass situation. 

"What's wrong?" She asks him when she reaches the stand. 

"Did I- was I acting like I usually do when I came in today?"

She frowns in confusion. "I guess so. Maybe not as grouchy as usual."

Well, at least he didn't attack anyone else in a shower stall. That's good news, right? 

He rubs his tired eyes and asks her an important question. He can't be the only one that this is happening to. "Have you- have you been losing any time?" 

That makes her frown more. "What? What do you mean?"

Maybe it _is_ only him. Maybe he imagined the creepy way Heather talked to him before she got out of the car. Maybe she is _mostly_ fine. "It's.. Nothing. Don't worry about it." 

She still looks like she's worried about it. Heather sometimes reminds him of Steve. "Billy, are you ok?" 

_Billy, are you ok? Should I call someone?_

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of _that_ memory of last night. "I'm.. I'm fine. But I think I should go home early. Could you maybe take over?" 

"Sure. Yeah. I can do that." 

He sighs in relief and climbs down, but before he can walk away her hand clamps around his wrist and she whispers. "We need another." 

He stumbles and turns to look at her. She looks exactly like she did a second ago, but now her eyes seem _wrong._

He walks a little faster than necessary to get back to the locker room. That _wasn't_ Heather. It was at first, but it's not _now._ Just like he's him at this moment in time, but who knows what is walking around in his body when he's checked out. It's like they've been body snatched or something. 

Fuck. 

He sits on the bench and just tries to _breathe,_ because he's pretty sure he's about to hyperventilate and he doesn't want to black out. It feels like whenever he's asleep or distressed the _other_ him takes over. He just doesn't know _why._

**_Because you think too much._ **

The answer in his mind is like a slap in the face. 

"Why me?" He whispers, because Billy had already had a shit life, ok? Why the fuck do bad things _keep_ happening to him? 

**_Needed a stronger host. You were there. We felt the strength in your anger and wanted it for ourselves._ **

What the fuck? This is crazy. It's insane! "I don't _want_ this. I don't want to hurt anyone."

**_You don't have to worry. We'll do all the dirty work for you._ **

That does not comfort him in the least. 

He wants to ask it another question, he'll take any answer he can get because he is still trying to see the bigger picture here. But then he feels something in his head. Like a soft caress. It feels like he's five years old again and trying so hard not to fall asleep while his mom brushes her fingers through his hair. 

Fuck. He's about to lose consciousness. He feels it happening this time. 

"Please _don't."_ It's a tearful request that falls on deaf ears. 

He slips away. 

_

  
It's only after he wakes up hours later, straddling some completely terrified middle aged guy behind the grocery store, that he finally realises what is going on. He honestly feels like a fucking _idiot_ because it should have been fucking _obvious. The voice? The shadow?_ He hasn't been body snatched. _He's been fucking possessed._

He scrambles away from the guy and runs to his car. 

He remembers what the Chief told him about Will. About the _mind thing_. The _possession_. Remembers them talking about Wills "episodes" and how Will blamed himself for killing those people, for killing his moms boyfriend, Bob. He remembers how scared Will looked every time he came to Steve to talk about it. 

So, yeah, he'd _heard_ about it. But no one had ever described what the thing looked like to him. He's pretty fucking sure he knows now. It's the goddamn _shadow_. 

He promptly shoves the door open and throws up on the asphalt. 

He has to get out of here. Not just out of the parking lot, but out of _Hawkins_. He can feel that it's the right thing to do. So he goes back to the trailer, packs a duffel bag, grabs the cash he's been saving and gets back in his car before driving south towards Kentucky. He just needs to _think_. 

His mind races. The mind thing was _supposed_ to be trapped in it's own universe. He thought the gate was closed? Janie _closed_ it, so when had it even _gotten_ him? At first he thinks of the other night. How terrifying it was and how he'd thought it was another dream, but he'd been having those for awhile. He thinks back to when the dreams of the shadow _began_. 

Eventually, he remembers. It was the night when he'd first kissed Steve. The night he had wild sex with that girl. The girl who had _flipped like a switch._ Like she had been _possessed._

 _Oh my god._ He'd been walking around with a piece of the _god damn Upside Down_ inside of him for _months_! He doesn't know why it's so much stronger _now,_ but it really doesn't matter. 

It's evil. 

And it's trying to control him. Trying to make _him_ evil. 

He knows exactly what he did to Heather now. What he did to _her_ and that guy behind the store. He… he _infected_ them with whatever this shadow thing is. He was right last night. He can't trust himself around anyone now, especially Steve, Max, and Janie. He would _kill_ _himself_ if he did anything to them. So, he runs away. 

He holes up in a dingy motel and tries to figure out what to do. Stays there for the whole night and hopes his loved ones are safe. Thinks maybe they are. 

Until the next time he blacks out. 

He wakes up in some bar the next day, twenty minutes away from Hawkins. He's been here before, to pick up _Neil._

His head hurts and he recognizes the feeling of _less_ that he gets after some of the shadow passes from him into someone else. He glances around and sees a woman on the floor of the bathroom. 

_Fuck. Not again._

He's so goddamn tired of this. Tired of hurting people and being unable to stop it. 

He stumbles away from the bar and climbs behind the wheel of the Camaro. He turns left on the highway instead of right towards Hawkins, and feels a splintering in his brain. 

It's trying to take control again, but this time it hurts as it's happening, because Billy is trying _so hard_ to resist. 

" _No_." He moans, fingers gripping the steering wheel. "I _don't want_ to."

But there's not enough fight in him to stop the illegal U turn his hands make him do. 

**_You can't run from us._ **

He can feel his mouth smiling, mean and sharp, but his eyes shed a steady stream of tears the whole drive back to the trailer. 

* * *

  
Something fishy is going on. Steve is one hundred percent sure of that. 

He'd gone to the trailer after his shift with a movie and some medicine like he promised he would, but Billy was nowhere to be found. He waited for awhile but by seven he'd started to get worried. 

He got in his car and drove to all his normal haunts, but he wasn't at any of them. He wasn't even at the grocery store or any other acceptable place he could be at nine thirty on a Thursday night. 

The longer he looks for him, the more worried he becomes. He keeps picturing Neil Hargrove finishing what he started months ago and he feels sick with it. 

He _knows_ he's probably being ridiculous right now. People are _allowed_ to have lives outside the city limits of Hawkins, and people in relationships don't have to be together all the damn time, but Billy always tells him when he's leaving. It's not far off the mark to assume his father could have done something to him. 

This isn't about him being insecure or paranoid. Ok, it's a little about him being paranoid but he can't help it. He feels it in his gut that something is wrong. He felt it the night before. 

He shouldn't have left. 

His intuition had screamed at him to stay, but he hadn't listened. And now Billy is _missing._

He stops by the station and tells Hopper that he hasn't been able to find him all day and he's worried that maybe Neil has done something to him. Hopper insists Neil hasn't been anywhere near him, but he'll have the others keep an eye out for the Camaro. 

He doesn't want to worry or freak out Max or her mom, so he doesn't go back to the trailer. If he's there and Billy never comes home, they'll freak out too. And he doesn't know if he can deal with Max losing her shit right now. He's barely keeping it together himself. 

So he waits.

He waits all night long and then gets up early to pick Max up. He tells her Billy asked him to, and takes her to Hopper's because she is having a sleep over. 

Then he cruises around town, searching for a glimpse of familiar blue, but he never sees it. He decides to circle back and stop at the trailer one more time before going back home. 

When he pulls around the corner he sees Billy's car and nearly cries in relief. He barely has the car in park before he's out of it and running up the stairs. He twists the door handle, but for some reason it's locked. 

That's… weird but whatever, he'll just knock. 

"Billy? It's me. Open up." There's no sound from inside but he _knows_ he's somewhere behind this door. So he bangs loudly on it. Maybe he's in the back or hell, taking a shower or something, but the longer he's met with silence, the more worried he becomes. "Billy? Hey, I _kn_ ow you're in there. Your Camaro is out here!"

He thinks he hears movement and a small thump before Billy's voice filters through the thick wood of the door. "Go _away_." He sounds like he's in pain. " _Please, Steve."_

The plead sends fear racing up his spine. Something serious is going on in there. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asks. Maybe he can figure this out if he can get Billy to talk to him. "You sound awful. Are you sick?" Then he has a horrible thought. In the past Billy had snorted coke when he went off the rails. What if- "Did you go somewhere last night? Are you-" High, he wants to say. "Did you _take_ something?" 

If this is a drug thing they can deal with it. He's not _thrilled_ that his seemingly happy boyfriend may have turned back to drugs instead of confiding in him, but Steve can help him with that. It's fixable. 

"No!" He yells, "Just go!" Steve can hear the tears in his voice. He's probably shaking too. "Go! _Please!"_

Steve isn't going anywhere. Not with Billy sounding like _that._

But he retreats down the steps anyway because he's obviously not getting in the front door, and goes around the side to where he knows Billy's window is unlocked. 

He shoves the window up and climbs before falling rather ungracefully onto the floor. 

He hears a surprised noise from across the room and suddenly he's looking right at his boyfriend. He looks… like shit honestly, and really fucking scared. Like Steve being in his room is the most terrifying thing in the world. Like his very presence is hazardous.

Steve rolls onto his knees and prepares to talk him down from whatever fucked up thing is going on, but he has already crossed the room and is pulling Steve up pretty fucking forcefully, and before he can even ask one god damn _question_ Billy pulls his fist back and punches him. 

He goes down _hard_ and is fucking reeling from the hit when he hisses, "Billy, what the _fuck-_ " 

But the other boy doesn't answer, doesn't say a single word. He's biting his lip hard enough that there's blood gathering on the surface and his face looks like it's full of regret. He pulls him up once more before looking away and knocking him the fuck out. 

He wakes up in the bottom of Billy's closet with a raging headache and the unsettling knowledge that either Billy really is on drugs, or something extremely terrible has happened to him. 

Steve sort of hopes it's the drugs. 


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve needs help finding Billy and The Party figures out what could be happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> IMPORTANT  
> I screwed up something on accident last chapter so I went back and fixed it. Max is spending the night with El. Steve isn't supposed to pick her up. 
> 
> That's all. 
> 
> Carry on.

Billy is hanging off the edge of consciousness when it happens. 

There's a loud banging on the door and then a familiar voice calling his name a few times.

Panic seizes him and he pushes back against the splintering in his head. 

_Steve._

No. _No._ He can't _be_ here. 

"Billy? Hey, I know you're in there." Steve says, and he sounds _so_ worried. "The Camaro is out here." 

**_Take him._ **

No. 

**_Make him one of us_. **

NO!! 

**_Then we will._ **

His body moves on it's own, crossing the living room in a few quick strides but he pushes back against the mental block that stops him from controlling his limbs. 

He drops to the ground and crawls to the wall beside the door. He presses his back against it and thumps his head back a few times, trying to drown out the shadows voice. 

**_Hmm. So much fight. This one is important?_ **

"Go _away._ " He groans. And he's talking to _both_ of them. " _Please_ , Steve."

"Baby, what's wrong? You sound awful." He hates that he's making Steve worry. "Are you sick? Or...did you go somewhere last night? Are you...did you _take_ something?"

God, he fucking _wishes_ he was just on some kind of crazy acid trip. But he's not. And this is much more serious. 

"No! Just go! Go! Please!" He's crying now, nails digging into the flesh of his arms to keep them from unlocking the door. 

He _can't_ let it get Steve. Steve is off limits. 

He hears the porch steps creaking and lets out a shaky breath. Steve is leaving. He's _safe._

He stands up and goes into his room, trying to figure out what to do from here, but then there is a sound at the window and suddenly Steve is stumbling through.

 _Fuck._ He didn't leave. He should have _known_ he wouldn't. 

He has to _do_ something. 

**_Yes. See. He wants to be taken. We'll let you do it. Take him. Take him_** _._

But Billy can't. He _can't._

So before this _thing_ takes over his body again, he pulls Steve up and hits him hard in the face, making him crumple to the ground. "Billy, what the _fuck?!"_

He regrets the punch, but it's the only thing he knows to do that will throw Steve off. And it _works._ He doesn't trust himself to speak so he bites into his lip to make sure it stays shut, because it may not be _his_ words that come out. 

He knows Steve is about to protest, to fight, because if there's one thing he wouldn't put up with, it's Billy fucking hitting him. But he can't risk a confrontation right now. Not when he could slip away at any moment and leave Steve vulnerable. 

He fucking _hates_ himself but he does what he has to do and knocks Steve out. 

He quickly drags his dead weight across the room and shoves him into his closet, jamming a chair under the doorknob so he can't get out unless he tries really hard. 

_I'm sorry,_ he thinks, _you may never forgive me for that, but this is the only way to protect you._

And then he's on the move again. Driving away towards Heather's house. Because he's _already_ ruined her. If he's with _her_ he's not ruining anyone _else_. 

* * *

Steve can't get out. Billy must have jammed something under the door knob. He's _really_ glad he's not claustrophobic, because yeah, that would really suck right about now. 

He doesn't know how long he was knocked out and has no idea how much time has gone by since he woke up. His anxiety is growing the longer he's stuck in there and he's trying not to panic. 

He kicks the door but there's not enough room in there to get a good force behind it. It doesn't stop him from trying. He kicks until it hurts and he screams in frustration. 

"Steve? Are you here?"

It's _Susan's_ voice. Which means it's three in the fucking _morning._

"In here!" He yells. "Can you let me out?" 

He hears her mutter _what on earth,_ and then she's dragging something away from the door and opens it. 

He nearly knocks her over in his haste to get out. He breathes deeply because holy shit, he may not be claustrophobic but he is so glad to be out of that tight space. 

Susan is staring at him and there is worry in her eyes. Which is really strange because the two of them try really hard not to interact because Steve won't let go of the grudge he has against her. 

"What happened to you?" She touches his face and he flinches. 

"Owe."

"Seriously, what is going on? Why were you locked in the closet? Where's Billy?"

"Um, " What the fuck is he supposed to tell her? "I'm not sure?"

"Did _he_ do that?" She looks a little horrified. 

"Ok, _yeah_ , but something weird is going on. He's… having some kind of like sleep walking thing." He really needs to come up with better lies. 

"Sleep walking?" 

"Yeah, he's been having these nightmares? Like really bad ones." He tells her, and that's better because it's the truth. "He had one earlier and he didn't know who I was. It was like he was still asleep."

"Should we call the police or something?" 

"No. No. I'll find him. He probably woke up and remembered what happened and is hiding from me because he feels bad."

She doesn't look completely convinced, but she also looks _exhausted_. "Well, at least wait until daylight. I don't want you driving around this late." 

He wants to argue but he also knows he probably won't find anything in the dark. "Ok. I'll wait until morning." 

She nods and leaves him alone in Billy's room. 

He feels like he's going to crawl out of his skin, feels the need to _do something._

He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and decides be should probably start with that. 

There's nothing he can do about the black eye, but he can at least clean up the blood from his nose and change his clothes. He knows some of his things are here so he searches through the drawers until he finds one of his shirts and then slips into the bathroom. 

When he's done, he feels marginally better, but he doesn't go to sleep. He just paces the room until sunlight filters through the windows. 

He makes the rounds again, searches for hours, but there is no sign of him. He can't do this on his own anymore. He needs help. He needs El. 

"Sorry, Hopper." He mutters to himself. "But I've got to involve her."

* * *

El likes summer. She is with her friends every day and there are a lot of fun things to do. They are all at Mike's house now. Jim dropped her and Max off that morning before work. 

They were _supposed_ to be playing the game, but they keep getting distracted. Dustin is talking about something she doesn't really understand. 

She is still trying to listen to Dustin's words when she gets a feeling in the back of her head. "Something is wrong." 

"Yeah, that's what I'm _saying_." Dustin continues. "Ceribro is picking up some kind of _Russian_ communication, I swear!"

"No, not that." El says and she looks hard at the door to the basement. 

Moments later Steve bursts in, nearly falling down the stairs. He's breathing _hard_ , his hair is a mess and his nose looks like it may have been bloody. He looks right at her and she doesn't have to see the fear on his face to know it is there. She's already felt it. 

"El. I need you to _find Billy. Please._ "

A sense of dread fills the entire basement as all the kids look at each other. 

"Get me something for my eyes." She says and Mike finds a red fabric. She ties it around her head as she sits down to look. 

It's been a long time since she had to find Billy. A long time since they got him away from his Papa. 

If Billy is hurt, why didn't she feel it? 

It takes a minute but she finds him. He's in some kind of dark place. She thinks it's..."Underground? Basement?"

"Steve, what's going on?" Max sounds frantic. 

El freezes. He doesn't look right. He's not in pain, but he's... _strange._ "He looks wrong." 

"Is there anyone _with_ him?"

There's a brown haired girl talking to him. "A girl."

"What is going on?!"

Billy stands up and looks down at his hands as he talks to the other girl. She wants to look around for clues, to try to figure out where they are, but the girl snaps her head towards her. She looks _right_ at El and smiles. It shakes her enough that she pulls off the blind fold. 

"She… she _saw me."_

Mike shakes his head. "No one can see you when you're in there."

" _Mike._ She _saw me."_

Max's face is red now. "Would someone please tell me what is going on? Where's my fucking brother?!"

Steve puts his head in his hands. 

She turns to him. "Steve!"

"Ok! Ok. Shit. Something is definitely wrong with him." He says and his voice is heavy. "I was supposed to come over yesterday, or I guess the _other_ day. We were going to hang out, but he wasn't home when I got there. Then he just never showed. He wasn't at the pool, wasn't at the trailer, and literally no one had heard his Camaro all day. It was like he just disappeared. I didn't want to worry anyone, so I picked Max up in the morning and after I dropped her off, I kept looking. I stopped by the trailer one last time last night and he was there."

"The door was locked and he sounded weird when I finally got him to talk to me. He sounded _messed up._ He's been having nightmares, bad ones I think, so I thought maybe he took some pills or went out and got high to get rid of them."

El doesn't really understand some of that but the rest of them do and it makes them sad. 

"But he just.. He starts yelling at me to _leave_ and he sounded like he was crying. I wasn't going to just leave him there like that, so I climbed in through a window." He points to his face and El can see a bruise around his eye too. "He fucking _cold cocked_ me. I was knocked out for a couple hours at least, and then when I came to I realized he _locked_ me in his closet. Susan had to let me out when she got home. I've been looking for him this morning too, but I can't do it on my own. I need _help."_

He gives her an intense look. "Something _really_ fucked up is going on. He would _never_ hit me. Not after everything. He _wasn't_ himself."

"But, I didn't feel anything." She tells them. "If he was hurt, I would know."

"Not necessarily," Dustin says, "what if.. What if the connection you have with Billy only fires up if he's physically hurt? What if whatever is happening right now is mental?"

"Yeah," Will agrees. "That makes sense. You said he was having nightmares?"

"Yeah. He uh- was having trouble sleeping."

Will looks thoughtful. "Well, what if he's having flashbacks?" 

"Of _what_?" Mike asks. "He was only around the demodog shit for like an hour."

Max stomps over to him and growls? " _Gee_ , Mike, it's not like he had to _live_ with _his_ fucking monster for years _,_ or anything _."_

Mike steps back. "Ok, yeah. You're right. I'm sorry. I just… didn't think about that."

"Well, _start_ thinking." 

Will is talking to Steve again. "When you talked to him. Was he aware it was you?"

"Yeah. He said my name." 

"Ok, so he's not stuck in a loop or anything."

Lucas cuts in. "What are we even talking about here?" 

"After I was rescued… and after the Mind Flayer, I went to Dr Owens and then someone else for therapy. You guys know that. I'm asking these things because I know what it's like to be stuck in a memory loop. I have flashbacks and sometimes I say things and act out. You've all seen me have them."

"So you think that's what's happening to Billy?" Max asks. 

"I dont- I don't know, but if Steve thinks he's acting really strange and not himself, then I can't see any other answer." 

"Wait.." Steve is quiet and looking at the floor. "There's something else… he looked _scared_ that I was there, but he knew who I _was_ . He looked like he was holding something back. He was biting his lip hard enough it was bleeding and now that I think about it, his hands were shaking. It was like he was fighting back something. Fighting with himself. Flashbacks wouldn't do that, right?" He looks up at Will. "This is..this is something _else."_

Will puts a hand on the back of his neck. "He looked like he was fighting _against_ _himself_?" His voice sounds scared. 

Mike says, "Will?" 

"In the beginning…you're still you." He whispers. El feels sick to her stomach at the words and Steve is moving forward as Will trembles. "But then you start _losing_ _time_. It starts taking over little by little."

"No. _Impossible_." Dustin seems to understand too "El closed the gate." He says. 

"Yeah." Steve never takes his eyes off of Will. "But I remember Nancy saying that when they burned that thing out of Will, it escaped into the woods."

"Yeah, but it _died_ when El closed the gate." Lucas wraps an arm around Max because she is breathing hard. 

"What if it _didn't._ What if it found another host?" 

Mike shakes his head. "They said it would _kill_ Will, remember? It would have killed whoever it took over."

"It was just a _theory_ , Mike." Will whispers. "There was no way of knowing for sure. They burned it out of me just in case."

"But Billy was with us that night." Max says. "We would have noticed if something took him and he only started acting weird now."

"Maybe it happened later?" Dustin offers. "Maybe it switched hosts or something?"

Mike looks mad. "Or _maybe,_ you're all grasping at straws here." 

Steve nods. "I hope we _are._ But I'm not dismissing this as a possibility. I _know_ Billy. He's in trouble."

El really doesn't feel good about this. "Mike." 

He looks mad but not at her. "Yeah?"

"The girl. She _saw_ me. And Billy. That day he hit his Papa with a cup. He _saw_ me too."

"What are you saying?"

"They are right. It could be the monster. Call Jim at work. Tell him what is happening. I will look again."

Steve comes to sit down on the floor next to her. "Thank you, for doing this."

There is no need to thank her. "He is my friend too."

"I know. I know he is."

She wraps the cloth around her eyes again and goes back into the black empty space. 

She can't find him so she knows he is probably driving. She keeps trying and eventually she sees him walking up a familiar side walk. Opening a familiar door. Stepping into a familiar room. 

El _hates_ that room. Hates that house. Hates the man residing there. "Why, Billy?" She whispers. "Why are you _there_?" 

She pulls off the blindfold. 

Steve reaches out and touches her hand. "Its ok, El. Tell me where he is. I'll go. I'll figure it out." 

She nods and says, "He is at his old house."

She watches his face scrunch up and then his eyes get squinty. " _What_?"

Max shakes her head behind him. "Why would he go back there?"

Steve looks halfway mad. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

"Why don't you wait for the Chief?" Dustin asks. "Shouldn't you have like back up?"

"I can't risk him switching locations. We know where he is _right now._ And I won't engage him if I don't have to, alright? I'll try to stay back and just observe."

"Fine." Dustin folds his arms. "But I want it to be noted that I was against this idea."

Steve nods. "Fully noted." 

Max and El follow him upstairs and into the front yard. Max's voice is quiet when she stops him. 

"Steve, I know you love him, but be careful, please. And watch out for Neil." 

"You don't have to worry about me, Max. I'll figure out what's going on and leave. In and out, ok?"

She doesn't look like she believes him. "Ok." 

El just feels sad about everything. 

"You alright?" Steve asks her. 

She nods. "I just hope we are wrong. I want Billy to be ok."

"Me too, El." He says, and gives her shoulder a squeeze. Then he's in his car and driving away, and El feels tears in her eyes, because she knows how this ends.

There's no way they're wrong. 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a talk with the monster inside of Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

It's not often now that Billy is in control of his body. He's still mostly aware of what is happening, but he's just a bystander in his own mind. 

He doesn't know if Heather is aware, but she isn't _Heather_ right now, and he's not _him,_ so he can't really ask her. And maybe he doesn't want to know the answer. He hopes she is always blacked out. 

It's better that way. 

This thing in his body is getting antsy, geared up. It makes him feel like his skin is crawling. It wants more. More people. More… minions or some shit. 

Billy thinks they have enough. He'd already infected three, how many more does it need? 

**_Just more._ **

_Yeah, that's fucking helpful_.

**_We have to get stronger._ **

_Why_? 

**_We can't defeat her otherwise._ **

_Who_? 

**_The child. The closer of gates. One of the champions._ **

The closer of gates? … _oh_ _fuck._ He immediately shuts down his trail of thought. 

**_It's too late, we have seen her in your memories. We know the word 'friend'._ **

The longer it's in his head, the more it learns. He suddenly wishes he was dumber than a box of rocks. 

**_Intelligence is nothing to be ashamed of._ **

_It is when there's a monster hijacking the information._

**_You're a difficult host._ **

_Well, feel free to hop the fuck out of me if I'm so damn difficult._

**_We are done talking. We are going to get another. Either you give us someone, or we will find someone ourselves._ **

Billy feels slimy. He doesn't want to _do_ this anymore. 

But if he _has_ to, if it stops it from going after innocent people on the street, there's one person he might not care too much about. One person he definitely won't fight it about taking. 

_Ok. I'll help you._

**_Good. Now you are understanding how this works._ **

_What the fuck ever._

"We are going." It says to Heather. "We can take _her_ parents later."

Heather, that's _not_ Heather, nods. 

This situation is looking pretty dire at this point. Billy just hopes it stays the fuck away from his friends. 

-

When he(they?) pull up to the house on Cherry Street he doesn't feel anything. 

He can see his dad through the window and if he'd been in control of his body he would have clenched his fists. 

**_We came back to the source of your anger._ ** It comments. **_This man._ **

_Yeah. Yeah. He_ 's _the source_. 

**_Pain. Anger. Hurt. So many emotions. How do you feel so much at once?_ **

_Guess it's just what it means to be human._

**_We don't like it. It clouds everything._ **

_Maybe you shouldn't possess humans, then._

**_Perhaps. But it's the only way._ **

_Let's just get this over with._

It doesn't say anything else, just opens the door and waltzes right in like it owns the place. 

Neil doesn't jump at the sudden intrusion, but he does look confused and angry when he realizes who just broke into his house. "Billy? What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" 

"Is that any way to greet your _son_?" It asks him, walking closer. 

Neil frowns. Because Billy would _never_ have been that bold. 

"What? You think because you got the Chief in your pocket you can come here and start shit? I _kept_ my side of the deal. I stayed away from you. But hell, if _you've_ come to _me_ then I think it's void." He takes a swing, but unlike Billy, the monster doesn't have emotions holding him back. 

It steps out of the way and grabs Niels arm as it passes him and uses his momentum to send him to the ground. 

Before Niel even knows what happened, it's on him. Grabbing him up, dragging him through the house. 

Billy doesn't really know what to feel at this point. On one hand he's kind of ecstatic to see his hands finally fighting back, but on the other, it makes him kind of sick because it's still his _dad_ and he's just served him up on a platter to this _thing._

Then something happens that he's not expecting. He'd thought they came here to simply infect him, but once his dad starts mouthing off the thing punches him hard. 

And it doesn't stop.

Not until his face is a bloody mess and Billy's knuckles are split open. Not until he stops moving and his chest barely rises and falls. 

_Whoa! Whoa! What the fuck? Do you want me to go to jail for murder? What the fuck, man. Why did you-?_

**_We have a memory of this man too._ **

Suddenly it dawns on him. _The coffee cup. That was you?_

**_If our host dies before a transfer or expulsion can be made, the piece within dies. You had our only piece in this world. We couldn't let you die at his hands._ **

_Still doesn't explain what the fuck that was just now. You didn't have to beat him nearly to death._

**_It was an accident._** It admits. **_Shadows of a feeling. Anger is a very strong emotion._**

He remembers the night so long ago when he'd let rage nearly destroy the person he cares about most. 

_Yeah, I guess._

**_This is why emotions are useless. They defy logic._ **

_Yeah, they do. But like, doesn't he have to have some kind of brain activity for this to work?_

**_He'll wake up eventually._ **

It's washing his hands of the blood when they hear the door click open. No one else should be coming in this house. 

It turns around and Billy's blood runs cold. 

_It's Steve_. 

He suddenly tries to fight again, terror gripping him like a vice. What the hell is he doing here? How did he even find him? 

**_Stop struggling. You can't win. What is it about this boy that has you fighting so fiercely? Why do you want to protect him?_ **

He can _feel_ it sifting through his memories of Steve. It leaves him queasy. 

**_Oh. We see now. The emotion you feel. You call it 'love'._ **

_Yeah, and that's why you can't fucking have him._

**_We will see._ **

And then it makes itself known and Steve startles. 

"Well, this is a surprise." It says in _his_ voice. 

He begs silently, _Run, Steve! Get out of here!_

But he can see the steely expression on Steve's face as he says, "You're not Billy." 

Jesus, he's figured it out. He _knows._ And that means he's not going anywhere. 

_Fuck._

* * *

  
It's kind of eerie when Steve pulls up to the house. The last time he was here he pulled a broken and bloody boy into his car and faced off against his psychopath of a father. 

He wonders _why_ Billy is here. If they were right… maybe he's here to take Niel out. The Mind Flayer would probably have no problem with that. 

He knows he told the girls that he wouldn't interact with him, but now that he's _here_ , he can't help himself. He needs to _see_ him at least.

He creeps up the walk and slowly opens the door, peeking his head in. It's quiet. There's no sound. He moves further into the house, through the living room. 

And that's when he sees it. 

There's a… body on the floor in the hallway. He knows it's Neil but he doesn't know if he's alive or not. He creeps forward, a little closer, to see. 

There's movement in the kitchen and Steve is startled to see eyes watching him. He didn't even know he was _over_ _there._

"Well, this is a surprise."

It's Billy. 

Well, it _looks_ like Billy. It has his face and his voice, but Steve _knows._ It looks _wrong._

He narrows his eyes. "You're _not_ Billy." 

The _thing_ with Billy's face smirks, but it's still a little off, further proving it's _not_ his boyfriend.

" _Good._ You figured it out. We don't have to pretend then." It walks right up to him. "And some would say you're not smart." It chuckles, leaning into Steve's space. "But you were the _first_ to notice that something was wrong, weren't you?"

"What do you want?" He asks, instead of answering. 

"We can't tell you that. You're not one of us." 

_Yeah,_ that's not creepy or anything. 

"What _can_ you tell me?"

It pauses and tilts its head in a very Billy way and says, "He fights us more when it's _you._ "

His heart stutters. _What?_

"What do you mean?" 

"He always tries to make us stop what we're doing whenever he's _aware_ , but it's a pathetic attempt. It never works." It answers rather flippantly. Like Billy is a nuisance. "Except when it's _you._ It's actually a struggle for us to reign him in the moment _Steve_ shows up." He clicks his tongue in a scolding way. "We _know_ why that is."

Now Steve starts to panic because this thing is looking at him like he's a fucking snack. 

"Such _strong_ _feelings_ humans have." It says, circling around him. Steve turns with it, won't show him his back. "Emotions are strange. More than anger. More than fear. We still aren't used to dealing with them. But we wonder...what will he make us feel when we take you."

Then he's suddenly looking up at the ceiling and there's a hand pressing against his throat, pinning him to the floor. It happened so fucking fast the wind gets knocked out of him." _This_ host doesn't want to make you one of us. He is always so _loud_ ." It shakes its head like its getting rid of a thought. "Always _screaming."_

Steve feels fucking _gutted_ . Billy is _in there. He's aware. He's fighting._ But he's _losing_ and watching his own hands wrap around Steve's throat. He'll blame himself for this. But it's not his fault. 

"Not your fault, Billy." He coughs out. "This _isn't_ your fault."

The thing laughs and leans in, nose brushing the side of his face as he speaks into his ear. "Its funny that you know what he's saying."

That just breaks his heart all over again.

It breathes in deep, like it's taking in his scent. "We think we understand the appeal now."

 _Yeah,_ he doesn't really like the sound of that. 

Then it's leaning back to look at him but something changes in his eyes. They go from dark and soulless to bright in a split second. His face softens and the hand holding him flexes and releases him as he hisses out, " _Steve_ , fucking _run_ . _"_

" _Billy_?"

" _Please go. I can't…"_ He groans and falls back onto his ass and digs his fingers into his scalp. "I can't hold it off long! You gotta run! Go now! _Please!!_ "

He's fucking crying and the _last_ thing Steve wants to do is leave him, but he also can't put Billy through whatever the hell that thing was planning to do to him, so he listens. He jumps up and books it out of there like a horde of demodogs is on his ass. 

His heart is racing when he peels out of the driveway. The rest of the drive is nothing but a panicked blur. Billy is...Billy's been _possessed._ It's not fair. Can't the Upside Down leave them the fuck alone? What more does it want? What more is it going to take from them?! 

Billy was… Billy was getting _better._ He made so much fucking progress and now? Now he's at the mercy of the Mind Flayer and whatever fucked up shit it's making his body do. If they get it out of him, he's going to be back to square one. Or worse. He may not come out of this sane. 

By the time he reaches the Wheeler's he's trembling, in anger and despair. 

Dustin reaches out to touch his arm when he stumbles into the basement "Steve? What the _hell-_ "

"We were _right_ ." He chokes, eyes watering as he meets El's knowing gaze. "It's the Mind Flayer. It's _back_ …I don't know _how_ , but it..it _got_ him. It fucking got Billy." 

No one moves. No one _breathes_. 

And then all hell breaks loose. 

Curses fill the room and everyone starts talking over each other. Steve yells and tells them to _stop fucking talking_ and he looks at Max, because she's the other one in this room that loves Billy as much as he does. 

"Max?"

"How do you _know_ for _sure_?" Max asks, eyes searching his, pleading for him to he wrong. 

"Because it talked to me." He tells her. "It was trying to act like him, imitating him, but it was off. Wrong. I called it out. Tried to get it to tell me what it wants." He touches his throat where he's sure there are bruises forming. "It didn't like that too much."

Dustin can probably see them from where he is standing by Steve's shoulder. "Steve, _how_ _did you get away_?" He asks slowly. 

"Billy- he gained control for a minute. He bought me enough time to get away."

"That means he's still fighting it." Will says from the chair. He is visibly shaking. "It… it's _really hard_ to fight it."

Steve nods. "Yeah. It said it struggles with him. It said… it said when he's _aware_ , he's always _screaming_."

Tears spill over Max's cheeks. 

Steve doesn't blame her. He wants to cry too. 

Will seems to understand exactly what he's talking about, and he would wouldn't he? He'd been a host too.

"I wasn't always aware of what was happening, but sometimes, sometimes I saw it. Heard him use _my_ voice to tell _lies._ The black outs were scary, but witnessing your body doing something that you have no control over? That's _worse."_ His voice quivers at the end. "I didn't want us to be right."

He thinks of earlier, when his windpipe was being crushed, how awful he felt that Billy was watching helplessly while it happened. He wants to throw up. 

"We gotta get it out of him." He says with determination. "We have to save him."

Dustin nods. "Then we'll just have to burn it out of him, right?"

"Yeah, I mean we could _try_ , but I don't know how we are going to do that. He's _stronger_ than Will was." He touches the bruises again. 

"I can do it." El says quietly. 

Mike glares at her. "No way. We don't know what he wants this time. If he's possessing _Billy_ you won't want to hurt him. So, he could hurt you instead."

"I don't care. We have to help him."

"You really think Hopper's going to let you do that?" 

"If it's the only way, he will."

"Ok, but he _still_ hasn't called me back. I left three messages. So, what do we do in the meantime?"

"Owens." Will says firmly, "We need to contact Dr Owens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the angst train guys, but it be like that sometimes.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is worried and The Party makes a game plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> OMG I'm so sorry it took a fucking month to update. I have two good excuses though! 
> 
> 1\. My brain likes to switch things up on me so I ended up having to write a whole alternate ending to this fic to get it out of my head. 
> 
> 2\. I got seriously burnt out. I was posting almost every other day for two months. And I just couldn't keep that up. 
> 
> So, I'm sorry y'all. 
> 
> Also, I hate this chapter, but I didn't want to make you wait even longer just so I could mess around with it until I hated it less. So, sorry if it is a sucky chapter to finally come back to.

Billy is surprised when he successfully holds the shadow off long enough for Steve to drive away. And _god,_ he's so relieved. 

The shadow isn't amused, though. 

But fuck the shadow. It can suck his dick. 

**_You let him get away._ **

_Good. That was the goal. What the fuck was_ **_that_** _?_

**_We were making him one of us._ **

_No. I told you. You can't have him._

**_So strong, so desperate. This 'love' is stronger than anger?_ **

He doesn't respond for a minute. _Maybe._

It doesn't speak to him again until it's stuffing his dad's unconscious body into the car. 

**_If we see him again, we'll be more prepared._ **

He doesn't ask who It's talking about. He knows it's still thinking about Steve. 

_What? What will you be prepared for?_

**_We'll be more prepared for you to fight us._ **

He feels a little sick at that thought. Well, shit. 

**_Maybe next time we'll kill him before you have a chance to fight._ **

Billy wants to scream, because no, they _can't_ kill Steve. 

_Why.. . Why would you kill him?_

**_Maybe then you would be a better host._ **

_Fuck you. "_ Don't touch him. _"_

**_You better hope he stays away, because we won't let you best us again._ **

Shit. He hopes Steve has enough sense to just let Billy go. Because he has a feeling this isn't going to end well. 

-

For once Billy isn't afraid to black out. He doesn't fight it, just let's it happen because he doesn't really want to witness or be a part of infecting his dad. He has had enough trauma from this whole debacle, thanks. 

When he comes to, it's dark outside, and they are at the Holloway residence. It seems to be their base of fucking operations or some shit because Billy always crashes there. 

The first thing he sees when he looks around is his dad. The man is looking back at him but it's weird. He turns and talks to Heather's mom and dad while they start making food. Like this is one big happy family and not a sad group of people being controlled by a shadow monster. 

Heather is sitting on the couch, quiet and unassuming. Her face a careful blank. He hates it. He absolutely hates the shadow Heather. She seems almost… dead. His chest aches and he wonders if the monster can feel it, if it knows what it means. If it can even comprehend the crushing emotion. 

Guilt is a heavy burden. 

He remembers when Heather looked _alive_. He remembers how she would smile at him at work, bouncing on her heels as they switched duties. She always talked to him, eyes bright and kind, and if he wasn't so incredibly gay or not dating Steve, she would probably be the only girl he'd even consider having more than a fling with. He enjoyed her company and everyone there loved her, because she was just a genuinely good person. 

Fuck. She used to be _happy._ She'd been happy _last week_. 

And then Billy came in and ruined _everything_. 

He wishes he could have his body back for a minute. He really wants to talk to Heather. Wants to ask if she's ok, wants to know if she's scared, wants to apologize for dragging her into this hell with him, but he doubts it will let him have control over himself again. He'll just have to hope for the best. 

It's also very strange seeing his dad, while he _isn't_ his dad. The shadow walks differently, talks in the same tone, and doesn't always have a scowl its face. 

It also hasn't tried to hit the shadow him. Not once. Hasn't called him names. Hasn't talked down to him. Hasn't even _talked_ to him at all. 

It's fucking unnerving. 

So he's really glad when he leaves, Heather's dad taking him back to the house to play pretend. He knows he'll go to work tomorrow just like Mr Holloway will, just like Billy will, because they have to keep up pretenses. Can't let the humans know something is wrong, that something _dangerous_ is preying on them. 

They hide in plain sight. No one will see them coming. 

He wonders if the shadow will make them kill anyone. After all, It had threatened to kill _Steve_ , so it obviously has no qualms ending someone's life. But would it seek someone out or just destroy any obstacles that get in its way? If that happened, would it make him _watch_? The thought makes him sick. He doesn't know how long he can stand this, how long he can hold onto his sanity. 

He wonders if he'll still be aware when it starts _the_ _plan._ Knows he doesn't _want_ to be. 

There's a cruel kind of laugh that envelopes him. He _really_ _hates_ sharing a consciousness with this thing.

 _What_ _are you so smug about?_

**_Nothing._ **

_Nothing. Yeah, sure_. _Like I_ _believe that._

**_We can...assure...you, you have nothing to worry about._ **

He suddenly feels like the world is spinning off its axis. Like he's falling off a cliff. Like nothing will ever be ok again. And he's absolutely _terrified_ because… 

Billy knows it's _lying._

* * *

  
  
Apparently, Joyce and Hopper have a way to contact Dr Owens, which Steve really should have seen coming. Will had seen him multiple times last year and he's one of the only scientists Hopper somewhat _trusts_. 

The only problem is, they _still_ can't get in touch with _either_ of them. Hopper hasn't shown up to the station today and when they called the store, no one picked up. 

Will thinks that his mom may have the information in a tiny safe in her room. It wouldn't hurt to _look_ , so they all file up the stairs. Steve almost slams into Jonathan when he hurriedly opens the door. 

"Shit, sorry." 

Jonathan stares are him. "What's wrong?"

 _Yeah_ , they should probably tell them what's going on. They need all the help they can get. 

Steve levels him with most serious look he can muster and lowers his voice. "The Mind Flayer is back." 

Jonathan's eyes widen in horror. " _What_? Are you _sure_?" 

"Yeah," Will confirms. "We're positive."

He glances around at the kids, probably making sure they're all present and accounted for. "Who does it have this time?" 

Steve breathes deeply before he answers. " _Billy_." 

"Shit." He mutters, "Ok. Nancy is changing. We'll catch her up when she comes down. Do you have a game plan?" 

Will nods. "We're going back to the house to look for Dr Owens contact information." 

"You really think mom would have left it just lying around?" 

"The safe, Jonathan." Is all he says. 

Jonathan is quiet but then nods. "Ok. We can check it."

They hear Nancy coming down the stairs, and she's already talking. "Hey, did you find out why the-" She pauses when she sees all of them standing there, but she looks right at Steve when she asks, " _Oh no_. What's going on?"

"The Upside Down decided it wasn't through with us." He tells her. 

Then Jonathan finishes with, "The Mind Flayer is back somehow and Billy is his host."

Her face is a perfect picture of horrified. "Please tell me you're joking."

Steve shakes his head. "God, I really wish we were, but no. It's real."

"Shit." She chews on her lip. 

"We're going to find a way to contact Owens, if you want to help."

She agrees and then they all pile into the two cars after telling Mrs Wheeler they are going to the mall. 

He doesn't know what's happening in Jonathan's car, but it's _quiet_ inside of his vehicle. El, Max, and Lucas haven't said much of anything, but when they get closer to Jonathan's house Max speaks up. "Are you, ok, Steve?" 

"I'm fine." He answers automatically. That's a lie, he feels like he's dangerously close to falling apart, but he doesn't want Max worrying about _him_ too. "Are _you_ ok?"

"No." She admits. "Like…he's a good brother now. Why did it have to be _him?"_

He understands. "We're going to get him back, Max. Ok?"

She looks out the window and mutters, "You can't promise that." 

He doesn't reply because she's _right_ . He can't promise _shit_ . This is way above him, way above any of them. But he still has to believe they can do this. They _have to._ The alternative is just too painful to consider. 

-  


In the end, there's nothing about Dr Owens in the safe. Only a revolver, divorce papers, and a few other important documents. There's just no secret phone number anywhere. 

Steve can feel a little bit of panic rising. "Fuck!" Steve shouts into the living room, hands raking through his hair. "What do we do _now?"_

"Wait for Hopper-" Jonathan starts but no, Steve can't do that. 

"I'm _done_ waiting for him. We need to get that thing out of Billy _yesterday."_

El looks thoughtful. "I'll look for Jim first."

"Yeah, yeah, ok. That's a good idea."

They're all more than a little confused when they find out that not only are Joyce and Jim _together_ , but according to El they were _walking_ to _Illinois_ with another man. 

"What the hell is in Illinois?" Dustin asks. 

Nancy and Jonathan look at each other. " _Murray._ It has to be. Maybe they found out something and they need his help." Nancy says. 

Steve is confused. "What could they have possibly found?"

"I don't know, maybe something about the Mind Flayer?" Jonathan supplies. 

Will shakes his head. "No, or they would have stayed here to protect El. To protect all of us. It's got to be something else." 

"Ok, but hypothesising about what they could or couldn't be finding out doesn't help our current situation."

And _yes_ , thank you Dustin! That's the reason he's Steve's favorite. 

Max, who has been mostly quiet since arriving, pipes up. "We will just have to find a way to burn it out of him _ourselves_ , then."

Nancy looks hesitant. "It's gotta be somewhere _hot_ enough, though." 

Mike's face lights up. "Sauna! There is a sauna at the pool right? Maybe it could get hot enough? And it has a door. We can just keep him in there until it comes out."

" _Ok_ , but how do we _get_ him to the pool?" Max asks. 

Steve looks over at her. "I think- I think he will go there himself." 

Nancy stares at him. "What do you mean?" 

"Besides the night he disappeared, he had still been going to work. He'd been doing all the normal shit he would usually do. It's keeping up appearances." 

"So you think he'll go back?" 

"I mean, I'm not one hundred percent sure but I think there's a pretty good chance." 

"It can't hurt to try."

Max asks, "But how do we get him _into_ the sauna?"

Everyone is quiet for a moment, thinking, and then Steve clears his throat, "I'll lure it."

"What?!" Dustin and Nancy say at the same time. 

"No, seriously. It really wants to flay me or whatever. It will follow me in there."

Dustin frowns. "Sure, but then you'll be _stuck_ in there with it." 

Yeah. He knows. 

Nancy shakes her head. "Steve, that's _crazy_." 

"Well, anyone got any other bright ideas?" He asks, hands on hips. "Because I'll listen to them."

"The radios." Mike supplies, "leave one in there and then have Steve mock him or something." 

"That's a good idea." Lucas agrees. 

But Nancy looks upset. "That… that may work, but it might not be enough to just trap him in there."

Wills eyes get wide and he touches the scar on his arm. "She's right. She had to literally _burn me_ to get it to leave."

Fuck. He hopes it doesn't have to come to _that_. 

"What if… " Steve starts, "what if we trap it in there and if it gets to the point that we're going to have to burn him, we have El hold him for a second and I slip through and she can reseal the door?" 

"That still leaves you in there with it for a few seconds while she does that."

"Ok? I can handle a few more seconds with the bastard. When El keeps a hold of him again I'll… I'll burn him."

"With what though?" Dustin asks. 

Mike says, "A blowtorch?"

"What the _fuck_ , Mike? No, we can't do that. It may cause _too much_ damage." Steve replies, "and who the hell just has a _blowtorch_ lying around? No, I have… I have a Zippo. I could… I could just… keep it on him, or something." The thought kind of makes him nauseous but at this point he'll do anything to get Billy back. 

"Ok, so we have a plan for _Billy,_ but we can't just lure all the others one by one." Dustin points out, "and we don't even know how many there _are_ , or even _who_ they are. We still need Owens men." 

Jonathan speaks up, "I'll go to Murray's tonight. I'll make sure they contact Dr Owens."

Nancy looks over at him. "Do you want me to come with you?" 

"No, stay and help Steve. I'll be fine. Just get the damn thing out of Billy and then lay low. Hopefully they'll be on their way by then." 

She doesn't protest. "Ok."

"So now what do we do?" Max asks to the room.

And as much as he hates it, he knows there's _nothing_ else they can do. 

"We wait."


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes plans work out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omfg I left y'all hanging AGAIN. 
> 
> I seriously suck and I'm so sorry!! It's just winding down to the last like ten chapters and it intimidates the shit out of me 😅
> 
> But I'm trying ok? For you lol
> 
> And as always this is unbetad and I'm really sorry if it's super disappointing.

Billy is very much aware why his shadow still shows up for his job, but it's still nerve wracking. He doesn't know if it will decide to take one of his unsuspecting patrons or another lifeguard. It already has him and Heather. It could decide to take them _all._ And Billy wants no part in that.

But it doesn't do anything, just blows the whistle, drinks an ICEE and hops off the stand when his shift is over.

Billy thinks today might actually be uneventful for once. That is until his shadow is putting on jeans in the locker room and they hear a familiar voice calling his name.

He must have done something to _really_ piss off the big man upstairs and he kind of wants to _cry_ , because this _cannot_ be happening right now. There's just no way. Steve _can't_ be here. He can't be that stupid? Surely he would have heeded Billy's warning, right?

Steve's voice calls out to him again and he is absolutely _horrified_. He can _feel_ the shadows delight at this turn of events.

_**It seems the boy has no self preservation. He didn't take the gift of safety that you struggled so hard to give him.** _

_Fuck you._

All he gets in response is a cruel laugh, and then the shadow calls out into the empty locker room. "Now, _Steve_. Didn't you learn your lesson _yesterday_?"

"I guess not." He quips from somewhere close by.

God, Billy wants to tell him to stop being a fucking smart ass. Wants to tell him he's a fucking idiot and that he should have stayed away, that he's being _cruel_ because he's going to force Billy to watch him _die._

"You must not care too much about Billy." It taunts. "If you _did_ , you would have stayed away. You wouldn't be hurting him like this."

_Sure, act like you're concerned about my feelings asshole._

"Screw you, buddy." Steve replies, irritation evident in his voice. "I'm here to _save_ him."

It walks closer to the sound.

_**He really doesn't know when to quit.** _

_It's one of his charms._ He snarks back. And while that is the truth, it's a big fucking handicap right now.

"When we find you, we're going to kill you. We're going to make him _watch_. We want to know what devastation feels like."

"There is something really wrong with you, man."

They are so close. But surely he's not in the _sauna?_ Why the _hell_ would he go in there? There's no way out!

The shadow laughs again and yanks open the door, "Got you!" It yells triumphantly, grabbing the figure inside.

It pauses in confusion.

 _Billy_ starts laughing then, because what the shadow grabbed was a CPR dummy with a walkie strapped to it. Not his boyfriend.

 _Fuck,_ he wants to kiss him so bad.

It throws the dummy and growls in anger. But before it can turn around to leave, the metal door clangs shut.

It slams its weight up against it, but it doesn't budge. Something is prohibiting it from opening.

"Crank it up!"

It's Max's voice, and he's not sure what their play is here, but for once the shadow feels scared. He understands when the temperature starts rising.

 _What's wrong?_ He mocks it. _Afraid of a little heat?_ He knows it is.

_**We are going to kill him! We are going to kill all of them!** _

_Yeah? How you gonna do that? Looks like they've got you trapped._

_**It doesn't matter. We won't let them beat us.** _

It yells and screams and curses at the group outside the door. Billy's not sure who all is there besides Max and Steve, because they are the only ones getting viciously _torn apart_ by his shadow. But he assumes all the other brats are there. And Janie was probably the one making sure the door remains closed.

His assumptions are confirmed when the shadow makes a comment about feeling Will's presence outside of the sauna. It remembers him. Taunts him. Asks him about his mother. If he wants to spare her more heart break, he'll let it out.

Will tells it to _shut the hell up_.

Billy has never been more proud of him.

And then it gets more frustrated, starts talking about getting burned out, and how it won't go that easily this time.

So, that's their plan? Billy thinks this is an ok plan. Not perfect but it _may_ work. It's definitely getting hotter in here. The shadow is pouring sweat and downright _miserable_. The air is heavy with moisture, and every breath is a thick hot agony. With every passing moment it's getting more restless, more irritable.

But after a few minutes of pacing like a caged animal, It finally stops moving, stops cursing, and sits down in the middle of the floor. But it's not because it's too weak, or because it's decided to give up. It may be trembling on the outside, but on the inside it's _laughing_.

Billy doesn't understand until he hears the metal door open and sees Steve's determined face slip through. But when he tries to fight, he feels himself slipping, feels his consciousness being shoved back into darkness. It had told him it would be prepared for him to fight. Fuck! He won't be able to warn Steve…

That it's leading him into a trap.

* * *

"Holy shit, Steve was _right_." Dustin says, looking through the binoculars. "He really _did_ go to work."

Steve grabs them from his hands and confirms, that yeah, he's there. "It's game time then."

They can't chance the Mind Flayer seeing them, so they follow El to the back corner of the pool's property near the locker room, where she lifts the chain link fence enough for them all to sneak under it.

It doesn't take long to get what they need, so they are set up in minutes. Now they just have to wait for him.

Nancy hides by the vending machine and watches for him. When he climbs down from the life guard stand, she radios to them, "He's heading your way."

Steve tries to shake his nerves.

"It will work," Max insists, but he's not sure who she is trying to convince more, him or herself.

"It fucking better." He replies, "Otherwise Robin is going to kill me for bailing on her for no reason."

He feels bad for calling into work, but it's not like he has a fucking choice here. This is more important than getting three bucks an hour.

Once Mike whispers that he is out of the shower and at his locker, Steve brings the walkie to his lips and presses the button. "Billy? Are you in here?" He can vaguely hear his voice filtering through the other one in the sauna. "Billy?"

"Now, _Steve_. Didn't you learn your lesson yesterday?"

It's so damn smug and god that pisses him off. "I guess not." He hisses.

And fuck, his heart is beating wildly in his chest but he keeps talking, keeps goading it on. It's _so_ damn close to the sauna. Just a little more. "I'm right _here_." He says into the walkie and watches as it smirks, thinking it's won, before it practically pounces on the CPR dummy.

"Now!" He shouts.

El comes out from her hiding spot and slams the sauna door, trapping him inside.

"Holy shit, _holy shit_." Dustin repeats as they all gather in front of the door and the Flayer throws itself up against it.

There's a flurry of movement and a collective sound of nervousness so Steve commands them, "Everyone just _calm down_."

The kids go silent, and all they can hear is the angry words and growls of the Mind Flayer.

It's pissed off. Obviously. And spitting insults at Steve and Max. Telling them all the ways it wants to kill them. Telling them how they don't know anything about Billy and that it's the only one that understands him. It rants and raves, to Steve especially, about how much it's going to enjoy taking them apart and making Billy watch.

Steve has never hated something more in his god damn _life._

And then it stops yelling and starts _talking calmly_...to _Will_.

Will trembles when it addresses him, and Steve is about to tell it to fuck off, but the boy actually answers it himself. Everyone else is kind of shocked but Steve is absolutely thrilled. They'd been working on this, his ability to fight back, it's just kind of awesome that he got to stand up to the monster that fucked up his life the first time he tries it.

And Steve would like to take a moment to appreciate this accomplishment, but as soon as Will shuts it down, it starts back up with the threats and cursing.

It's a certain kind of hell having to listen to Billy's voice screaming at them, telling them he's going to _gut them_. It makes his stomach hurt, because he knows that Billy is trapped inside and has to be listening to it too.

At some point Max had pressed her back against the wall and she's covering her ears now. "Come on, come on, come on," She chants and Steve understands the anxiety she's feeling. He wants this to be over too.

Eventually everything goes quiet inside.

Nancy looks over at him. "Do you think?"

"I don't know." He slowly peaks in the tiny window and sees that the Mind Flayer is sitting on the floor, sweaty and breathing hard. It doesn't move, just sits there, and Steve thinks maybe it's weak enough, maybe it's time. "El?"

She nods at him and slowly opens the door enough for him to get in.

He inches closer, fingers twitching to grab the lighter, but when he's close enough to touch it, it snaps its head up and smiles meanly.

"Oh _shit_."

"You thought you were so _smart_." It hisses at Steve and grabs his arm, "Thought you could burn us _out?"_ It squeezes _hard_ and he tries unsuccessfully to pull away. "Go ahead and _try_."

Max yells, "Steve?!"

"It's fine!" He calls back to them and winces when the flayed Billy yanks him down onto his knees.

"Open the door and let us out." It tells them, voice low and menacing.

Steve shakes his head. "Don't you _dare_ fucking open it. Stick to the plan!"

"You really think that's a good idea, _Steve_?" It asks, grabbing his chin, and he _hates_ how it says his name, slick and sweet and totally _wrong._ "If they don't open the door, you may not get out of here alive."

"I'll just have to take my chances." He spits out, because he really doesn't give a fuck right now. It doesn't matter what happens to him as long as they free Billy.

It doesn't seem to like his answer though, because its eyes go cold and it slams him to the floor. And Jesus this is the second time in two days that this thing has pinned him down by the throat.

"We told him we'd _end you_." It whispers harshly, hand clamping down and cutting off his air supply. "Looks like we were right."

His vision is going spotty and there's so much pressure on his neck, on his _chest_. Fuck, he really is going to die.

Suddenly the door slams open, the pressure and weight are _gone_ and El is shouting, " _Stop!"_

It screams at her but she throws it into the back wall, breaking the tiles. She looks like she's _struggling,_ but she pins it against the busted wall as Steve pants and tries to stand up. " _Fuck_." He sputters, trying to catch his breath.

They've got to do this. They got to do this _now_. He quickly scans Billy's body, looking for a place to do it. He decides on the back side of his neck. He can hide the inevitable scarring with his hair.

"Hold him off a little longer El!" He yells, pulling the zippo out of his pocket, but he hesitates

"What the hell are you are you waiting on, Steve?!" Max screams somewhere outside the door. "Fucking do it!"

He ignores her and steps up to the piece of shit that's possessing Billy and yanks it's head to the side by his hair. The thing spits at him and says it's going to kill him but he doesn't listen. He has the upper hand right now. It still sucks that he has to do this though, "I'm _so_ _sorry_ ," He whispers before he lights the zippo and presses it to his skin.

He can fucking hear it _sizzle_ and Billy's body convulses under him. The thing screams and _screams,_ curses them out, threatens to end them like they _aren't_ the ones winning, and Steve is crying because he's literally _burning_ his fucking boyfriend right now.

He wants to throw up, because of how fucked up this is, _and_ because the smell of burning skin is _horrible_ , but he keeps going, keeps it lit until he burns _himself_ in the process. But it doesn't matter. They can have matching fucking scars for all he cares.

It's struggling against El and Steve's assault so hard that the veins in his neck pop out and he's hissing and spitting, trying to break free, and then suddenly something _snaps_ and black tendrils of _something_ rush out of his mouth and bounce around the sauna.

Steve immediately drops the lighter and El lets Billy go to focus on the piece of the mind flayer trying to flee out of the room.

Billy's dead weight causes both of them to fall to the floor and Steve is so busy checking for a pulse that he doesn't see the moment El destroys it.

He's wiping the sweat slick hair out of his face and smacking his cheek to try to get him to stir. "Billy?" He can't help how desperate his voice sounds. "Baby? Come on, wake up. _Please_."

He vaguely hears someone say, " _Baby?"_ When the door opens behind him.

El comes and crouches beside him and gently rests her hand on his face. " _Billy_."

His eyes snap open and he nearly head butts Steve in an attempt to sit up.

"Whoa! Hey! You're ok. It's ok."

He's panicking, looking at Steve like he's scared to death. "It's a trap, Steve! Get out of here! It wants to kill you!"

"No. _No_ , Billy. It's ok. It's _gone_." He tells him, taking his face into his hands, the one with the burn hurts like a motherfucker but he ignores it. "We got it out of you, ok? It can't _hurt_ _me_ anymore, and it can't hurt _you_ or _make_ _you_ do anything."

His eyes search Steve's for lies and when he finds none he breaks out in sobs and buries his face in his neck. "I'm _sorry. I'm so sorry, Steve. I didn't want to do any of that. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm a fucking monster."_

He slowly puts his arms around him, careful of the blistering burn."Shhh, hey. No, it's not your fault. You're not a monster. It's ok."

He's aware that the kids are all just outside the sauna door but Max is kind of blocking their view.

"Steve. Steve. You don't _understand._ I…I _infected_ people. They're possessed because of _me._ I hurt them and I… hurt you."

He kisses the side of his head. "No. Listen to me. _Yo_ u didn't do _shit_ , Billy. The _Mind_ _Flayer_ did. It just _used you_ to do it and I'm so sorry that happened. I'm sorry we couldn't get it out sooner."

El shifts next to them and then suddenly Billy is leaning back and staring at her. His eyes wide and worried, and still dripping tears." _Janie_."

She frowns at the look on his face. "Yes?"

"You...you need to _leave_. We need to get you someplace _safe_."

He's scrambling to get up and everyone makes confused noises.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"They'll be coming here. They may already _be_ here. They _saw_ you."

He's pushing her out of the sauna and Mike is asking, "Why does that matter?"

"Because the reason it's possessing people in the first place is to take out _Janie_." He says, voice panicked. "She can close gates. Her and..and all the other _numbers_ , they can stop it." He keeps shoving them along. "She's the only one it has found and It can't come into this world in it's true form to take her out, so it sent a scout to infect humans."

Steve almost falters. "What the _fuck_?"

"We have to go somewhere I've never been. They've seen my memories. They will know all the places to look once they get the command."

"I know where to go." Nancy says suddenly, "come on!"

They all rush out to the station wagon. "We need to at least stop and get a first aid kit." Steve insists as Nancy unlocks the doors. He's worried about the burn on Billy's neck. He should probably worry about his burn too. 

"Fine, five minutes," Nancy says as they all climb in.

Dustin sits in the passenger seat while Mike, Will and Lucas cram in the very back. It's a tight fit but Max, El and Billy pile into the middle while Steve shoves in next to them before slamming the door.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

They pull into the pharmacy five minutes later and Steve stumbles out. He's hesitant to leave Billy but he's more worried about the burn getting infected.

He grabs a first aid kit, burn ointment, more gauze and a thing of hair ties.

When he opens the door and climbs back in, Mike is whispering in the very back. "Ummm, I know a lot of shit's going on, but is anyone _else_ wondering why the hell Steve called Billy _baby_ earlier? Or are we all just ignoring that?"

Will glares and says. _Now is not the time, Mike_ as Max hisses, _it's none of your fucking business, Wheeler._

He appreciates them, he really does.

Billy hasn't uttered a word since leaving the pool. He's shaking, probably from shock and his fucking _burn,_ and has a far away look in his eye. So he's not surprised that he just straight up ignored Mike. El is holding his hand and talking quietly to him. Max keeps looking from Steve to Billy and her eyes are red rimmed and shiny.

Mike says something else to Will and Steve sighs loudly. He twists in his seat and stares pointedly at Mike."Ok, listen up dipshits. I wasn't going to tell you all like this, but considering the circumstances I guess I have no choice. Billy and I have been seeing each other for a couple months now, alright? Let's not make a big deal out of it."

Dustin makes a noise in the front seat. "When you say _seeing each other-"_

"I mean in a _romantic_ and sexual capacity, Dustin."

"Ok." He clears his throat, "Uh-Thanks for clarifying."

"Now, if anyone has any _questions_ , please ask them when we _aren't_ running from a bunch of people the Mind Flayer possesed."

"Ok. Sorry, Steve." Mike replies quietly.

"It's fine. Just…we need to focus on getting out of this mess." He leans forward. "You said you had an idea, Nance?"

"Yeah," She answers. "Until the cavalry arrives, I think I have the perfect place." She meets Steve's eyes in the rear view mirror. "That is, if you think Tommy's dads hunting cabin is unoccupied."

"Oh my god. You're a fucking _genius_ ," He tells her, truly awed that she had remembered that from one conversation nearly two years ago. "It should be empty. He only goes there during the hunting season."

"Ok," She sounds a little bit relieved. "Dustin, there's an Atlas in the glove box, give it Steve."

Dustin quickly rifles through it and pulls out the map before shoving it into Steve's hands.

"Alright, tell me how to get there."

He studies it for a second, trying to remember exactly where it's located, then, _Bingo._ "When you hit one thousand west, you're going to turn right."

Holy shit. They might just make it out of this alive after all.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, my dudes. That was a super long wait. I hope posting this update during the lockdown makes some feel a little better. 
> 
> Thanks goes to Gideon Grace for letting me talk things about this chapter, and the upcoming ending, out with him.❤❤❤

Jim feels like he's going crazy.

The Upside Down shit? He has a pretty good handle on it by now, but Russian _spies_?

Scientists? Conspiracies?

He might be a bit out of his depth here. Especially because his unexpected hostage doesn't speak _English_.

That wouldn't have really mattered much if they hadn't been chased out of the safe house by the fucking _Russian Terminator_ , but they had. So, they'd needed answers pronto, but try as they might, communicating with the man, who he has unironically named _Smirnoff_ , was impossible.

It had left Jim with one choice and one choice only.

Murray Bauman.

And Joyce might find his antics a little humorous, but he's gotta be the single most annoying asshole Jim knows. His point is proven within the first ten minutes and even she isn't so amused anymore. 

Smirnoff has been giving him the run around all damn day and Murray seems to be enjoying how agitated Jim is getting. "He says he's hungry."

Jim frowns. "I don't care if he's hungry. Tell him we want to know what they are powering."

He does what he asks and then comes back with, "He says, _food first, then answers_."

"Are you serious?" he asks in disbelief and then looks to Joyce, "Is he serious?"

She shrugs, "Well, it was a long walk, Hop."

"Oh, my God."

Murray clears his throat, "So, are we getting food, or are we going to sit here arguing for another hour?"

Jim is two seconds away from just telling the man to go fuck himself, when there's a buzz above the door, warning that someone is here, and everyone goes quiet.

It couldn't be them already? The commies can't be missing their little scientist friend, yet. And they hadn't really left a trail that would lead them here, so, who the hell could it be?

The three of them get up and go look at the monitor and Joyce gasps. "Jonathan? What is he doing here?"

The moment he comes in the door she starts, "What's going on? How did you know we-"

"There's no _time_ for that. _You,"_ he points at Jim's chest, "need to call Dr Owens and then we've got to get the hell back to Hawkins."

Jim feels an icy fear grip him at his words. "Why?"

The boy pauses and bites his cheek. "The mindflayer is back."

Joyce jumps in before he even has enough time to process that. "How? El closed the gate."

"We don't really know but-"

The gate is open...

El. 

He has to stop himself from grabbing the kids shoulders. " _Who_? Who does it have?"

Again there is a pause. "Billy."

God _dammit_. Of course it would be the one that's trying to get his life together. "Where are the kids? Are they safe? Why aren't they with you?"

"They're safe for now, but they have a plan to get the Flayer out of Billy, so I don't know how much longer they'll wait."

Jim sees Murray speak to Smirnoff but he can't find it in him to care at the moment. Not when that thing is back and El's in danger. He feels his blood pressure rising. They're going to try to- "Are they _crazy_?!"

"Why would they do that? Why didn't you bring your brother?"

"Mom-"

""We need to get back now!"

"We need to find the gate. How the hell-"

They are all talking over each other when the bald man yells, "Hey hey hey! If you all are done with the theatrics, I believe Alexi has the answer to that."

"Oh, does he now?"

" _Yes_ , _Jim_ , he does." He smiles mockingly. "Because he's one of the scientists that opened it."

And he has to stop, to take a deep breath and remind himself that strangling the guy would only hinder their progress. "Joyce, put in the call to Owens, and _you_ , you tell him that he's going to tell us _everything_."

* * *

The cabin is exactly how Steve remembered it. Deer heads mounted on walls, wood panelling _everywhere_ , and the faint smell of charred wood in the fireplace.

"This place is a wreck." Mike comments, walking around the living room.

"Well, yeah. It's a _hunting_ lodge." Dustin says, "No one comes here until _hunting_ season, so of course it's dusty."

Nancy comes up behind them. "Maybe you should help me clean it up a bit then." Dustin doesn't argue and Mike only makes a face, but they head into the kitchen after her.

Steve turns his attention to the others. Billy still looks pretty out of it, eyes wandering as he follows El and Max to the couch where they both demand him to _sit._ Lucas and Will stand off to the side, unsure and concerned. It's pretty endearing to be honest, that all the brats are this worried about Billy even after getting the Mind Flayer out of him.

While they are hovering over him like helicopters, Steve climbs the stairs to find Alan's room, and starts going through drawers. Billy needs _actual_ clothes, so he drags out a blue flannel shirt and some cargo pants. they'll probably be too big, but beggars can't be choosers.

Not that he has the capacity to care at the moment.

He heads back down the stairs and shoo's Max away from her brother. "Come on, " He says, motioning to the hallway.

"What are you doing?" Max asks, eyeing the clothes in Steve's hand.

He lifts the bag with medical supplies, "Getting him cleaned up a bit and disinfecting these damn burns." He tells her. "It might wake him up a bit too."

El nods and touches the side of her head. "He is hurting."

"Yeah," He nods. "yeah. I know." And then he's turning from them and leading Billy to the downstairs bathroom.

Steve turns the shower on and makes it lukewarm, not wanting to aggravate their burns.

Billy moves without him saying anything and goes through the motions of taking off his jeans and getting in, but Steve knows he's not all there, hasn't been since they left the mall, since they got the flayer out.

Might not be all there for a while.

Steve follows him and once they're under the spray, he washes them both, hissing at the pain in his hand. But he ignores it in order to focus on Billy. Tries to protect the burn on _his_ neck because it's _worse_ than Steve's.

"Does it hurt?" He asks quietly.

Billy looks startled at first, then stares at him like he doesn't understand the question.

"The _burn_." He reiterates, "Does it _hurt_?"

He shakes his head and answers in a near whisper. "I can't really _feel_ _anything_ right now."

God, Steve wants to fucking cry. "Ok. That's ok. I'll take care of it."

He carefully lathers shampoo in his hair and then Billy speaks again. "Steve."

"Yeah?" He answers, running his fingers through wet locks.

"It's really gone, right? This isn't just…just a _dream_? You're _real_ right? I didn't kill you?"

He knows it's tears and _not_ water that blur his vision as he replies, "It's not a dream, Billy. We got it out. And you _didn't_ _kill me_. You fought the bastard off twice to try to protect me. You fought _so hard._ " Steve rests his forehead against his. "You were so brave, baby. And it may not feel like it right now but you're going to be ok. We'll help you through this."

"It made me take _Heather_." He whispers, "I _like_ Heather, and I don't like anybody." He's crying. Steve lets him. "She was just _worried_ about me. She came to see if I was alright." Steve feels the devastation radiating off of him. "I _like_ Heather and I...I fucking _attacked_ her."

"No. _No_." He repeats, leaving no room for arguing. "That _monster_ attacked her. Not _you_. You were its victim too. It's not _your_ fault that it took Heather."

He lifts his hands between them. "It was _my_ hands that held her down, Steve." He chokes, "I felt it...She was so _scared_."

" _So were you_."

"That doesn't matter." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter because it still has her. I…I basically signed her _death_ warrant."

"Hey, hey, look at me." He lifts his chin so shiny blue eyes meet his. "We are going to get it out of her too, ok? We have scientists and the government coming. They'll do what they can to get the flayer out of them all."

"What if they can't get it out? What if it makes them fight and they kill someone?"

"I don't have the answer for those questions." He admits sadly. "But I want to believe that if _we_ could get it out of you with a sauna and a fucking _lighter_ , the professionals will be able to get it out of the rest of them, no problem."

Billy presses closer, rests his head on his shoulder and whispers, "I hope you're right."

He hopes so too.

When they finally get out of the shower, Steve has him sit on the floor in front of the tub, and pulls his hair up so he can clean and disinfect the burn.

It's angry looking, red and blistered. "I'm sorry for burning you." He apologizes, because the guilt is heavy in his gut as he deals with the damage.

Billy only hums, "You know that scar on my ankle?"

He does. "Yeah?"

"Well, it's from my dad putting a cigar out on me. It was a punishment for getting high when I was fourteen. He did it to _hurt_ me and teach me a lesson." He reaches behind him and touches the back of Steve's hand. "You did this to _save_ me, so stop feeling guilty." he sighs, "Besides, you burned yourself in the process, so I think we are even."

God, he really hates Neil Hargrove. Billy shouldn't have anything to compare this burn too.

"Yeah, ok, I'll try." he replies, which is a damn lie. Steve will always feel a little guilty about everything that happened today. Will feel guilty about not putting it together sooner.

One day under the Mind Flayers control was one day too many.

Billy is quiet while Steve works.

"I need to talk to Janie," he says when Steve finally lets him scoot away.

"About what?" he asks, picking up a new cotton ball and working on his own burn now.

"About the things it showed me. The things I learned."

He's a little distracted when he asks, "Which was?"

"I know where to find her siblings."

Steve drops the cotton ball in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how short this was, but I wanted to give y'all something and this felt like an appropriate time to end it. 😁


End file.
